British Imperialism Is Absolutely Fabulous!

Actress Joanna Lumley, famous for her role as the drink-sodden Patsy in the BBC comedy Absolutely Fabulous and her campaigns on behalf of Gurkha veterans that have "led her to be considered a national heroine," offers a novel solution to the spiraling crime rates in the UK. The Telegraph explains:

Miss Lumley, who has campaigned for Gurkha veterans, said: "Of course they all go about with knives because it's exciting. Horrifying! I think they're bored stiff. Nobody's said, 'Hey boys, I want you lot in my ship now, we're off to have a really immense adventure.'

"In the old days, because of Empire, our young men were always going out to do something. And now they're not. And now we've got those same boiling boys and we expect them to sit and watch X Factor! Are we mad?"

I once has a long discussion with an Indian expat who, in his phrase, "wouldn't hear a bad word about the British" (he was, rather surprisingly, obsessed with the Concord transcendentalists; a sort of reverse of the old Western obsession with the Maharishi-brand of "transcendentalism") and I have read Cato senior fellow Deepak Lal's thin little monograph In Praise of Empires, but I have yet to encounter anyone who believes that a reconquest of German West Africa and Tanganyika would effect crime rates in Kreuzberg. But then again, I don't hang around in the rarified world of British television stars.