Sean Penn Wants Me Thrown In Jail


Appearing on Real Time With Bill Maher, amateur Latin America scholar Sean Penn details his recent humanitarian trip to Haiti, reveals that he has started an NGO, and praises the United States military's reconstruction efforts in Port-au-Prince, calling it the "most noble [military] mission since World War II." (Penn has apparently forgotten the 2004 operation to provide relief to parts of tsunami-ravaged South Asia.) 

But as is his wont, Penn couldn't get through the interview without reference to the beneficent Venezuelan and Cuban governments (who supplied "narcotics" in Haiti, despite their own drug shortages) and how Hugo Chavez is unfairly maligned in the United States media. How should one combat this misinformation campaign? Penn has a plan:

Because every day, this elected leader [Hugo Chavez] is called a dictator here, and we just accept it. And we just accept it. And this is mainstream media, who should – truly, there should be a bar by which one goes to prison for these kinds of lies.

It seems that Penn—a half-wit, but apparently an honest half-wit—has learned a thing or two on his political pilgrimages to Cuba. This is a dirty little trend, both in Europe and an America, amongst the thicko intelligentsia: For example, insult 95,000 "relatives" of the "Prophet" by publishing a cartoon and a liberal newspaper, under legal threat, issues a pathetic front page apology. Insult the democratic credentials (of which there are none to speak) of that sinister troll in Venezuela, and an self-important actor suggests you spend a little time in the cooler, rethinking your claims of objectivity. Watch the clip here (about 5 minutes in) and observe the cowardly silence of Bill Maher, his audience, and his panel of Greek social climbers. Mustn't challenge the big-hearted, weepy, humanitarian Oscar winner, for he surely means well. As does Chavez.

As Penn says, the population of Venezuela now has "access to dreams" they never had in the past (could Penn even name the previous president of Venezuela?); a funny little formulation that unconsciously acknowledges that after 10 years of chavismo, the poor are still amazingly poor, the rich are now in Miami, having been replaced by members of the Bolibourgeoise, and the economy is a mess. The poor may have aspirations, but, as Venezuelan economist Francisco Rodriguez discovered, they have seen no real material gains. 

In light of his calls for jailing journalists, I suspect Penn would agree with this decision, recently reported by the Knight Center for Journalism in the Americas at the University of Texas: "Venezuela rejects company's request to launch two anti-Chávez TV channels."

In 2008, I responded to Penn's preposterous piece in The Nation, which detailed his groveling appearance at the Castro compound in Havana. A sample:

None of this bothers the average Cuban, [Penn] writes, because unnamed American government officials and "prominent dissidents acknowledge" that "the ruling Communist Party would win 80 percent of the electorate" if the country ever got around to having an election. So why not test this theory and silence international critics? Because not even the regime believes that they have the support of the country's vast proletariat. As one student recently told the New York Times, young Cubans "don't believe in a world where the Internet is forbidden and your whole world is Cuba with the rest blocked out." Indeed, even Eloy Gutierrez Menoyo, the leftist dissident Penn cites, recently told a reporter that "Talk to young people, and 90 percent will tell you their dream is to leave the country." 

Whole thing here.

And while Penn's lower lip quivers discussing the destruction he witnessed in Haiti—and it is horrible and depressing—I won't hold my breath for a comment on the recent death of Cuban political prisoner Orlando Zapata Tamayo, or the hunger strike of dissident Guillermo Farinas

NEXT: Sea Turtle Tastes Like Veal

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  1. I didn’t know this chump took the cock out of his mouth long enough to go do a photo op in Haiti.

    Oh, and Chavez is a dictator.

    1. Really? What’s with the ad hominem stuff? Why sink to his level? Are you not capable of coming up with an intellectually sophisticated rebuke to his hypocrisy? It seems easy to me: Penn is supports gay rights but pals around with a dictator who is quite homophobic in policy and opinion? Or perhaps your cock-sucking accusation belies an opinion that precludes criticism in that area? I guess that puts you on Sean Penn’s level so I suppose you are perfectly positioned for such empty critiques.

  2. Well since we hit Haiti with our earthquake machine, helping them out was the least we could do.

  3. Sean Penn Wants Me Thrown In Jail

    What a coincidence!

  4. Appearing on Real Time With Bill Maher, amateur Latin America scholar Sean Penn-

    Stop right there.

  5. Those guys are fags!”

  6. Prison time for lies, Spicoli? How about prison time for making movies about retards and winning Oscars for it? Then we could jail half of Hollywood. Or jail time for making retarded movies; that way we could get Michael Bay.

    I guess Sean Penn was just playing himself in I Am Sam. And here I thought he was a method actor.

    1. That’s unfair. While the idiot stoner role of Spicoli was a natural for Penn, portraying him as a likable idiot stoner took a hell of a lot of acting.

      1. Hey!

    2. Nylon magazine (or was it Paper?) gave that the greatest review. It is reproduced below in its entirety:


      Sean Penn is retarded.

    3. White boys always get the Oscar. It’s a known fact. Did I ever get a nomination? No! You know why? Cause I hadn’t played any of them slave roles, and get my ass whipped. That’s how you get the nomination. A black dude who plays a slave that gets his ass whipped gets the nomination, a white guy who plays an idiot gets the Oscar. That’s what I need, I need to play a retarded slave, then I’ll get the Oscar.

      1. How about acting above the level of the others in your field. Sidney Poitier, Denzel Washington, Morgan Freeman and Cuba Gooding Jr. all found that was the best way to win.

        1. I guess it speaks to your taste in movies that you missed the fact that the above statement from “Kit Ramsey” (a character played by Eddie Murphy in the movie Bowfinger) is not so much racism as it is “comedy” … supposedly.

        2. I guess it speaks to your taste in movies that you missed the fact that the above statement from “Kit Ramsey” (a character played by Eddie Murphy in the movie Bowfinger) is not so much racism as it is “comedy” … supposedly.

    4. And he went full retard. I’m not sure if that was “method” or not…

      1. Never go full retard, man.

  7. One can only hope the South Park dudes were watching . . .

  8. Because every day, this elected leader [Hugo Chavez] is called a dictator here, and we just accept it. And we just accept it. And this is mainstream media, who should ? truly, there should be a bar by which one goes to prison for these kinds of lies.

    I’m quite sure that bar is very apparent in Cuba and Venezuela.

  9. I hope that Sean Penn will die a slow and agonizing death from bone cancer.

    1. “My only regret…is that I had…bone-itis!”

      1. “You’re a shark.”

        1. I expect him to get cancer of the vagina…or cervix.

    2. Well he was married to Madonna for a while. That is a punishment I would wish on very few people.

      1. Remember the Bloom County storyline where Steve took a picture of Sean Penn and Penn beat the shit out of him? Then Steve was deciding who to sue, and his thought pattern went like this:

        1. Don’t sue Sean, because juries love famous people, and he might beat Steve up again;

        2. Don’t sue Madonna, as she also might beat Steve up;

        3. Sue the camera maker.

        Steve was so great.

        1. Yes I do. And everything in Bloom County was great.

          1. Nice! I have Bloom County Babylon in my ummm, “office,” or “throne room,” whichever you choose. You should get my drift.

            “This is the guy who’s lips Madonna chews on?”

            1. You’re thinking of Sandra Bernhard.

              1. No, I’m not. Ever. Ugh.

                1. Although, now I am. You bastard.

                  1. Ha, ha! (Nelson voice)

                    Oh shit, now I am! AIIGHHH

              2. Note to Madonna. It doesn’t count as a lesbian kiss if you are kissing a dude. I don’t care if he is wearing a bra at the time.

  10. Definition of Simpatico:

    Sean Penn and Hugo Chavez

  11. If Sean Penn and occasional H&R commenter rana ever find themselves in the same room, Sean Penn would not leave alive.

    1. I smell Pay-Per-View!

      My betting money is on rana.

  12. When it comes to lies, you can’t believe what the Left still tries to get away with when it comes to Communism.

  13. Apparently Sean Penn may have problems with Human Rights Watch*, Amnesty International and every other international human rights organization on the planet that I know.

    *The head of HRW Americas was kicked out of the country in 2008.

  14. If Penn thinks that people who call Chavez a dictator should go to jail, what does he think should happen to people who called George Bush the same? Was Bush a dictator and I just missed it?

    1. John,
      See, you just don’t understand. It’s like… well, George Bush stole the election in 2000, OK, and he couldn’t speak well and he’s dumb, OK. Like a bad evil man, too. Evil and Dumb. And Chavez is a visionary, OK, if you and your entourage would just read you’d see… that there’s pain in the world and we’re the cause, OK? Becuase of Bush. And Cheney. And Karl Rove. And you’ve never…

      God, I can’t even continue with my snark. What a fucking douche. Go bail out your boat Spicoli! [insert picture of 10 dudes and a photographer on a sinking skiff after Katrina]

      1. Sean Penn: “Hey, man, you don’t talk to the Jefe. You listen to him. The man’s enlarged my mind. He’s a poet warrior in the classic sense. I mean sometimes he’ll. . .uh. . .well, you’ll say “hello” to him, right? And he’ll just walk right by you. He won’t even notice you. And suddenly he’ll grab you, and he’ll throw you in a corner, and he’ll say, “Do you know that ‘if’ is the middle word in life? If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you”. . . . I mean I’m. . .no, I can’t. . .I’m a little man, I’m a little man, he’s. . .he’s a great man! I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across floors of silent seas. . . .”

        1. Hopper was awesome.

          1. Absolutely. That’s really a great movie.

    2. If Maher had a shred of honesty, he would have assailed Penn on that premise. As it is, Maher has proven himself to be a left wing hack a la Al Franken and Rachel Madcow

      1. While Maher occasionally has a worthy comment he’s usually an unapologetic cheerleader for liberal causes, and a fawning sycophant for the celebs that he likes… otherwise they wouldn’t go on his show

  15. Access to dreams? I’m sorry, was sleep a luxury afforded only the rich pre-Chavez?

    Adolf Hitler improved the economic fortunes of the average German, does that make him a good man or any less a dictator?

    Presumably the Soviet Union, or even *gasp* the United States of Amerika, was/is a great, wonderful, and benevolent world power because they gave out supplies wherever they could in order to exploit tragedies and cull support from local populations?

    1. Sudden: Hitler did a lot of things, but he didn’t “improve” the German economic fortunes. If I recall it rightly, we had no bread, no factories, and none of the basic stuff you need to survive in cities that were either bombed or half empty of males over the age of 14. So, I’d have to say, there was not much of economic improvement due to Hitler….

  16. Penn, done sucking the youth and beauty from Robin Wright, now moves on to consuming whatever credibility remains to the Hollywood left.

    It won’t take long.

    And then he might come for you.

    1. Oh God. He is married to her. What a waste.

      1. Not any longer. She”s a free woman, although scarred for life.


      She is only 43 in that picture. And she has access to all the makeup and surgery Hollywood has to offer. Penn really is a vampire.

    3. +1 Robin Wright makes me drool.

  17. This guy actually did a pretty good documentary with the Innocence Project not that long ago:

    It’s about my hometown and actually hits quite close to home. Overzealous self-righteous DA convicting innocent people.

    Outside of this documentary though, the guy is a total dirtball and I would prefer he just stay in Venezuela since it is so totally awesome there.

  18. In related news:

    New York City (December 7, 2006) ? The Creative Coalition announced today that legendary journalist Charlie Rose will present the 2006 Christopher Reeve First Amendment Award to actor and activist Sean Penn…

    Appearing on Real Time With Bill Maher…

    Gov. Gary Johnson, this Fri.

    1. Unfucking believable.

      1. No, no, he wins because he’s an example of a voice you want to shut the hell up.

      2. If Reeve could spin in his grave he would.

        1. I’m sure the wheels of his chair are spinning

    2. Can they ask for the award back? I’m not sure I would want it back after his touch has soiled it.

      Better to just destroy the award and name the next one after the next horribly disabled actor.

  19. If penn head likes this guy so much then why don’t he just get the hell out of my country and live there. I’ll never see anything that he’s in again.

  20. “Because every day, this elected leader [Hugo Chavez] is called a dictator here, and we just accept it – there should be a bar by which one goes to prison for these kinds of lies.”

    Wow, how dictatorial of him…

    So, I assume Penn has no problem with Chavez saying, “The United States empire is on its way down and it will be finished in the near future, inshallah,” Chavez told reporters, ending the statement with the Arabic phrase for “God willing.” “The devil came here yesterday,” Chavez said, gesturing to where Bush had stood during his speech on Tuesday. “He came here talking as if he were the owner of the world.”

    Chavez also called Obama the devil, and an ignoramus.

    If Penn is guilty of being like any of his characters, I would have to go with Daulton Lee.

  21. “Access to dreams”, that’s precious!

    Chavez is a wannabe dictator, but he isn’t half as smart as Castro, so he won’t last. He’ll make a mistake and some general will cut his throat, and people will cheer.

    1. They tried that already.

      There are two routes for Chavez – military dictatorship or getting thrown out of office.

      I’m not sure which way it’ll go. Venezuela is going downhill and is unlikely to recover. He may lose the next election, if it takes place, if it isn’t rigged.

      He’ll either leave quietly or become Robert Mugabe.

  22. Insider trading is not Reason.

  23. I don’t see that any of you have started an NGO . . .

  24. I would stop short of calling his a ‘dictator’.

    Authoritarian, strongman, demagogue, and wanna-be dictator are all pretty accurate however.

    Fortunately, he lost last year’s ‘El Presidente for Life’ referendum.

    Speanking of which, who here remembers Tropico?

  25. You all are being very rough on Mr. Penn. He’s absolutely right that the average Venezuelan under Chavez now has access to dreams.

    Food, energy, medicine, uncensored information? Not so much. But the dream spigot is wide open.

  26. What a fool!
    Mr. Penn, you are lucky they dont throw people in jail for being fools, stick to what you do best, acting. Leave the venezuelan people and their big problem with the bufon dictator alone, shame on you!

  27. Sean Penn needs to iron my shit.

  28. Chavez Is A Dictator Chavez Is A Dictator Chavez Is A Nazi Chavez Is A Totalitarian Creep Chavez Is A Dictator Dictator Dictator…

    Come get some, dicknose.

  29. Is Sean Penn seriously confused or is he on the take?

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