Fashion

Geithner Causes, Feels Your Pain

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Rebecca Johnson's profile of Secretary of the Treasury Tim Geithner in the current issue of Vogue does not, unfortunately, include a 10-page spread of Geithner modeling the Rodarte summer line, but it's worth reading anyway just to witness the most wide-eyed press hummer given to a public official since the fall of Nicolae Ceau?escu.

Geithner: Couldn't you just kiss him?

Wondering how the "affable…lithe and athletic" secretary (one of People's 100 most beautiful people of 2009!) deals with all the "vitriol against him" and "off-with-his-head rhetoric?" You'll be relieved to know that Geithner, one of the "nice guys" of Washington, keeps a "sense of humor about himself" and "doesn't want to dwell on the negativity."

This may come as a surprise to anybody familiar with Geithner's prickly and dismissive demeanor in congressional testimony, his habit of hollering at subordinates, and his hostile, evasive answers to SIGTARP Neil Barofsky. Hilariously, Johnson recounts the episode in which Rep. Kevin Brady (R-Texas) called on Geithner to resign and concludes that the secretary "deflected the attack with admirable equanimity."

You can check out that incident here. There is a standard response for any public official who is called on to resign: "I serve the president and if the president asks me to step down, etc. Thank you for your input." You can find many qualities in Geithner's snippy, raised-voice, contemptuous response, but equanimity is not one of them.

Johnson's profile also contains plenty of "he may seem perfect, but actually he's totally awesome" fake balance: "[T]he calm exterior belies the truth of Timothy Geithner, who is very smart, very angry, and more than a little relieved that the economy did not tank further than it has." As every hack knows, the way to get this kind of balance is to limit your source list to the subject himself and the various pickthanks and sycophants who surround him. Thus Johnson's case that Tim Geithner saved the economy is bolstered by none other than…Tim Geithner:

Indeed, as bad as things look today, it could have been worse. A lot worse. "We were starting to have a classic bank run, people were starting to take their money out of banks, something that hadn't happened since the Great Depression," he says, defending the initial decisions in the crisis, some of which have started to smell a little foul with the passage of time (particularly the generous terms for AIG's bailout). "The things we had to do early to fix the financial system were really important, and we got them basically right. Nothing else was possible without them. The reality is that financial crises are unfair and cause huge damage to innocent victims, but it would have been more unfair not to act aggressively because it was unpopular."

I get it that women find Geithner, with his lost-puppydog look and Jack Nance hair, adorable in the way women think nonthreatening men are adorable. If you were looking for a host of a beauty pageant, you really couldn't do better. But the demands of his current job have revealed Geithner's true ethical model: Leave It To Beaver's Eddie Haskell, the suave, wheedling, silver-tongued rat fink whose affability conceals a core of pure self-interest and manipulation.

There's plenty more, including Johnson's rejection of the crazy notion that Geithner's tenure as head of the New York Federal Reserve might earn him some blame for the credit bubble and bust, her citation of Geithner's publice-sector-only work history as a point in his favor, and her bizarre belief that criticism of the secretary is limited to "the blogosphere and some of the more liberal publications." But we haven't got all day, so I'll just say Johnson saves the best for first, with this painstakingly bogus lede asserting that Geithner is that rare public official who understands our anger:

If last year's bailout of the financial industry caused you to start muttering words like investment banker and robber baron in the same sentence, it may cheer you to know that Timothy Geithner, the man responsible for crafting much of that bailout, agrees with you. "I am," he says, seated in his Washington, D.C., office, an intimidatingly ornate room worthy of a Hogwarts headmaster, "incredibly angry at what happened to our country."

Don't miss it!

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  1. That picture reminds of Albey Grant from Big Love. Which is fitting, because Geithner is a weasley little shit who may cruise truck stop men’s rooms.

    1. I think he looks like a muppet. Which is fitting, I guess.

    2. Ska, and you may know this because you may have been there?

  2. Every time i see a picture of Timmy G, the word that pops immediately into my head is “ratfucker.”

    1. Glad to hear I am not the only one. He reminds me of some kind of living cartoon of every rat bastard sniveling frat boy you ever had the misfortune of knowing in college.

  3. the current issue of Vogue

    I buy it for the…articles?

    1. He likes to see the latest in fuck me pumps.

      1. I honestly didnt know that vogue had real articles. Dont they usually do stuff on like who wears the best clothes or something?

        1. Given the clich?-infested excerpts cited, I believe they take a generic fluff piece and insert updated proper nouns and dates.

        2. Based on this example, I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that Vogue has real articles.

          1. Maybe an overachieving chimp in fuck-me pumps wrote it.

          2. Rc, all magazines for women have articles. Picture books or magazines are for you boys.

  4. Rebecca Johnson’s profile of Secretary of the Treasury Tim Geithner in the current issue of Vogue does not, unfortunately, include a 10-page spread of Geithner modeling the Rodarte summer line

    Rowr. Put away your claws, Tim.

    (For those of you who don’t keep up with fashion like you should… Rodarte is a line of clothes by two over-weight sisters deliberately designed to only fit very skinny women. Fashion as self-hatred.)

    1. SugarFree, I didn’t even know that and I have a vagina.

      1. so happy for you…can I borrow it?

        1. I am using it so you’ll have to find someone else to call you DADIO 😉

    2. C’mon man, stop twisting the facts. Only one of them is overweight.

      1. the other one just has big bones?

      2. They gained back all the weight they lost when Anna Wintour challenged them in Vogue to going on a 1,300 calories a day diet.

        While Laura is thinner than Kate, neither could wear their Target line that maxes out at small-fitting 8 for the stores, even if they could get into the few offered on-line as high as 15. And the style of most of the dresses that would fit Laura wouldn’t work on her book-shelf shaped frame.

          1. AAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAAHHH!
            You’re on my list, now, SF. Drink the vinegar, scum.

            1. There’s nothing wrong with you finding them attractive, CN. You just have to admit it to yourself.

            2. CN,Here is a clue honey: don’t link to your own pic when you make remarks about looks 🙂

              1. Damn, woman. Look at him. He’s a libertarian, for fuck’s sake. He’s like a bald Adonis for this crowd.

                Episiarch and Art-P.O.G. are extreme outliers.

              2. I had to suffer. Others should, too.

          2. The one on the right looks like Lurch’s younger sister. How could two women with below average figures make their living designing clothing that only skinny women can fit into? Talk about self loathing.

            And my God Natalie Portman is beautiful. But every time I read about her “vegan no fur” lifestyle she gets less attractive. What a bore she must be.

            1. Portman: I went to the Star Wars exhibit when it was at the Brooklyn museum and they had the white skin-tight outfit she wore in the 2nd prequal. She is insanely tiny, it looked like a child’s Halloween outfit.

              I imagined running through the mean streets of Dagoba with her on my back like a sexier Yoda.

              1. the camera adds ten pounds. In person she must look like a skelator. She has a classically beautiful face. But I really don’t understand how you could find a woman that thin attractive. Imagine how gorgeous she would be if she mixed in a steak now and then and actually let her ass and boobs come to some normal size.

                1. Maybe she cares more about the suffering of animals than, say, giving right-wing blog commenters a bigger hardon.

                  1. Or maybe she is an idiot who pursues a lifestyle that is enabled only by her wealth and one which, if pursued by the population at large would lead to mass starvation.

                    And maybe you are just a humorless douche.

                  2. but doesn’t that (giving right-wing blog commenters a bigger hardon)
                    qualify as a higher calling? worthy of sainthood

        1. Cosomtarian. You won’t find women’s fashions being discussed over at LewRockwell.com.

  5. “As every hack knows, the way to get this kind of balance is to limit your source list to the subject himself and the various pickthanks and sycophants who surround him.” The Reason formula revealed. Next Colonel Sanders Secret herbs and Spices.

    1. Why don’t you leave Timmy alone you big meanies.

      1. Imitation is the sincerest form of ….hell fuck off

        1. Hey guys, watch! Timmy G showed me how to give myself a rimjob!

          1. Ok jackass: fuck off and lick your own ass too.

            1. and fuck off Xeones

    2. It used’t be good, but nowadays it’s just pepper, salt, sugar and MSG.

  6. Grid forgive me, but whenever I see “Geithner, with his lost-puppydog look and Jack Nance hair,” all I can think of is this.

    1. TG has nice tits?

      1. I’ve heard they’re nice but not nearly as perky as Schumer’s.

  7. Thank goodness we have only the best, brightest, and most selfless bureaucrats money can buy.

    1. Thank goodness we have only the best, brightest, and most selfless bureaucrats money unreported income can buy.

      FTFY.

  8. Glad to know Timmy is angry. Too bad he still has to loot the entire country. I am sure his stealing a few trillion on behalf of his buddies on Wall Street hurts him more than it does us.

    1. Yes, I saw him on TV whimpering about what a shame it was he had to give hundreds of billions of dollars of taxpayer money to his buddies on Wall Street. It is truly sad, the sacrifice this heroic man has had to make.

  9. You think this article is bad, you should have read the one they produced a few months ago on Scty. of State Clinton. I’m often tempted to re-subscribe to Vogue but articles like this always remind me why I cancelled in the first place.

  10. A classic bank run? Yeah, maybe among the rich. I’m pretty sure none of my friends rushed down to the bank to pull their $300 out of savings before they lost it forever. Hell, my bank just failed and I didn’t even notice. So, the FDIC works, I guess.

    1. Classic bank run is Timmy speak for his friends having to become just ordinary millionaires.

    2. I hate to agree with the Timster, but based purely on anecdotal evidence (lunch with a banker from the bank that serves as the local depository for cash), a lot of people were trying to close out their accounts, and there was a critical shortage of cash during the worst of the liquidity crisis.

      So I think we were pretty damn close to a classic bank run. Whether anything Timmy did helped, I kind of doubt.

      1. Of course the banks were one of the prime movers in creating the financial mess, so it’s kind of hard to be surprised that people might lose a bit of confidence and come to get their money. I moved a substantial portion of the money I used to keep in checking into a money market account and opened up a new account at a local credit union. I had been fed up with Bank of America anyway but them coming through like kids who “accidentally” stole their parent’s car and wrecked it just pissed me off.

      2. Huh. Alright, maybe some folks did get excited. But in this day of nearly mandatory direct deposit, people with normal jobs don’t have much choice but keep a checking account.

        Frankly, I’m surprised I didn’t get the bum’s rush for saying something nice about the FDIC…

    3. He’s a glorified piss boy. Paulson, Rubin, Dimon and the like look at him as a useful idiot.

  11. The things we had to do early to fix the financial system were really important, and we got them basically right.

    You cast your steely gaze into the Abyss, and you did What Had To Be Done to fend off the Unimaginable Consequences; damn the torpedoes, keep rowing, men!

    Of course you did, Timmay.

  12. ROTFL, wow I think you hit that nail square on the head! Well done dude, well done!

    Jess
    http://www.true-privacy.es.tc

  13. “Half an inch one way he’s John F. Kennedy; half an inch the other he’s Lyle Lovett.”
    Hmmm. Of what, exactly, is she speaking?

    1. 1/2 an inch up and he’s Beaker

      1. 1+

        Or Doogie Howser, MD

    2. I was thinking Cosmo Kramer, but either way.

      1. Cosmo didn’t have someones’ hand shoved up his ass…

  14. “Timothy, Timothy, where on earth have you gone?”

  15. Geitner is so steeped in Keynesianism that he (like all Keynesians) is completely blind to reality. Their economic philosophy requires it. Great post title!

  16. Is Tim C (not G) having some serious sexual angst of late? I’m new to this site.

    1. Not “of late.” Always.

      1. You’ve got angst in your pants.

        1. Whoo. A Sparks reference!

  17. “He may have his flaws, but cupidity is not one of them.”

    How about stupidity?

  18. Look at that face. Listen to that manner. Fall guy within 18 months. He’ll walk into the committee room with his pants around his ankles!

    1. After the November elections I doubt Timmy will have many friends left. Who knows maybe the SEC or the Justice Department will take a look at his dealing while head of the New York Fed. I don’t think this is going to end well for Timmy.

      1. As long as he does not go rogue it will end well for Timmy

        He probably will lose his Secretary of the Treasury position but I bet he will get a nice job at the World Bank or IMF or at some university. He will probably get a book deal, speaking engagements and invitations to all the globalist banking meeting

        1. That is a good ending for a normal human being but not for a creature like Timmy. Those people are lost living normal lives out of power no matter how cushy the life is.

      2. There’s always the Scooter Libby precedent for Obama to fall back on if his man is in trouble.

  19. the suave, wheedling, silver-tongued rat fink whose affability conceals a core of pure self-interest and manipulation

    Who do you think was getting more chicks, Eddie Haskell or Wally Cleaver…?

    1. It sure as hell wasn’t Ward.

      1. That’s because he was a little rough on the Beaver last night.

        1. don’t you mean June’s beaver…

  20. Geithner Causes, Feels Your Pain

    Yeah man, he’s like a Betazed torturer.

    1. Is that a reference to something?

  21. “I am,” he says, seated in his Washington, D.C., office, an intimidatingly ornate room worthy of a Hogwarts headmaster, “incredibly angry at what happened to our country.”

    Irony is lost on some people.

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