Pat Robertson is a Horrid, Horrid Person

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Punched in the nuggets by Beelzebub

If you think that Pat Robertson is merely a crackpot who blames 9/11 on sodomites and members of the ACLU; who thinks that the Haitian earthquake was the devil's retribution for reneging on a pact to expel French colonizers; who recommends that the American government assassinate Hugo Chavez; who sees wisdom in the works of Nesta Webster; and who gets all sorts of bum information from God, Foreign Policy provides a few new details of the televangelist's business arrangements with former Liberian dictator Charles Taylor:

Former Liberian President Charles Taylor, testifying in his own war crimes trial today, said that the American conservative evangelist Pat Robertson was awarded a Liberian gold-mining concession in 1999 and subsequently offered to lobby the Bush administration to support his government….

Under cross-examination, Taylor said that Robertson had volunteered to make Liberia's case before U.S. administration officials, and had spoken directly to President Bush about Taylor. He also confirmed that Robertson's company, Freedom Gold Limited, signed an agreement to exploit gold in southeastern Liberia, but that it never generated any profit.

"Mr. Taylor, indeed at one point you said that you can count on Pat Robertson to get Washington on your side," he was asked by the lead prosecution counsel, Col. Brenda Hollis, a former U.S. Air Force officer. Taylor replied: "I don't recall the exact words, but something to that effect."

This isn't really a new story, though Robertson's attempted lobbying the Bush administration (which didn't seem to produce any positive results for Taylor) was unknown. The Virginia-Pilot investigated Robertson's ties to Taylor back in the late 1990s and Time detailed his connections with Mobuto Sese Seko in 2001.

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  1. Alt-text win!

  2. “Teacher says, everytime a bell rings, Pat Robertson fills his Depends.”

  3. former Liberian dictator Charles Taylor

    For some reason I read this as “Libertarian dictator”. Probably because I was just talking to someone about how a libertarian dictatorship would be preferable to statist democracy.

    1. “You will smoke a joint and star in a porno, under penalty of death!”

  4. If you think that Pat Robertson is merely a crackpot who blames 9/11 on sodomites and members of the ACLU

    I thought that was Jerry Falwell.

    1. He blamed 9/11 on Jerry Falwell?

      http://www.lushforlife.com/new…..y-scandal/

      1. It was pretty much both of them, as Falwell was being interviewed by Robertson on the 700 Club at the time (more here and here).

        1. (Ugh. I meant to respond to Tulpa’s comment, not Aresen’s.)

          1. Yeah, I know. But it is much more fun to read as a response to my comment.

  5. Caption contest!

    “If I squeeze hard, the shit will come out the other end this time.”

    1. “Must…eat…more…fiber…”

      1. “Take the brown bomb you heathen squirrel!”

  6. “Don’t use your teeth! What kind of sodomite are you?!”

  7. That’s the face Pat made when he found out that Kirk Cameron was going to star in the Left Behind adaptations. He really wanted those to succeed, damn it!

  8. damn, just when you thought he couldn’t get more dickish.

  9. A spokesman for Robertson, Chris Roslan, confirmed that Robertson was awarded a gold exploration concession by the Liberian government during the 1990s. But he said that there was “no quid pro quo” to provide the government with anything in return. Roslan said the company, Freedom Gold, is no longer in operation and has never found any gold.

    I guess that’s why Robertson was not terribly active on lobbying the Bush government on behalf of Taylor. If the Mother Load had been found, I bet Pat would have set up a tent besides the White House.

    1. If the Mother Load had been found,

      It looks like Pat just dropped the Mother Load in that picture.

      1. Sorry, can’t let this pass. In this context, it is spelled lode.

        1. You lifted a great lode off my shoulders.

        2. RC Falls victim to his own law! “Load” is much more appropriate in this case.

    2. I earnestly beseech thee that thou grant thine humble servant thine merciful relief from, I mean, oh, Great Load of Hosts.

  10. I read the headline as “Rob Patterson is Horrid, Horrid Person” and I was in complete agreement on that as well.

  11. signed an agreement to exploit gold in southeastern Liberia, but that it never generated any profit.

    Wow. How bad do you have to suck to not be able to make a profit from a goddamned gold mine

    1. Its harder than you think, TB. Up-front capital needs are huge, its highly speculative, extraction costs even if you find good ore are high. . . .

      Not to mention the bribes and graft if you’re operating in a kleptocracy like Liberia.

      1. And probably even harder when you’re being played by a two-bit dictator. I’d guess Taylor knew it was a shitty mine that would never turn a profit and could be better used to induce Robertson to speak well of him to his buddy in the White House.

      2. Not to mention the bribes and graft if you’re operating in a kleptocracy like Liberia _____

        Just fill in the blank with any country of your choice. (Your welcome, don’t mention it.)

  12. This isn’t really a new story

    No kidding.

    1. The “lobbying Bush” aspect of the story is new, but everything else has been common knowledge for quite some time.

  13. I wonder if Charles Taylor ever had Pat Robertson over for dinner.
    http://uk.reuters.com/article/…..9020080313
    As a diner, of course, not as a dish.

      1. Excuse me? The allegations of cannibalism were quite credible and it is a fact that it was asserted during his trial. I see nothing racist about reporting that, any more than pointing out that the most significant experiences of cannibalism in modern times were under socialism in the USSR or China implies anti-Russian (or Ukrainian) or anti-Chinese racism. Grow up.

        My friends from West Africa have truly terrible tales to tell of the horror inflicted on the people there by a series of terrible rulers. Let us hope that that is behind them and that Africa is taking a turn toward the rule of law, rather than fear, and with that, toward freedom, peace, and prosperity. That people such as Pat Robertson and Jesse Jackson consorted with such people says something about their allegedly high moral standards: http://www.usnews.com/usnews/o…..011112.htm

  14. You know, the Bible says that false prophets should be killed. And it even gives the test for false prophecy (which is fairly obviously). If what the prophet says doesn’t happen, he’s a false prophet.

    1. They’re all false prophets.

      1. And apparently not that good at making profits, either.

        1. What I find funny is that Pat Robertson preaches his bullshit law of reciprocity. According to him, God will reward greatly (with physical wealth) those who serve him best.

          So why’s his mine go bust?

          1. He has me confused with that forked dick pretty one down below.

  15. “Pat Robertson takes speaking in tongues to a whole new low.”

  16. “If I’m a crackpot, may my tongue cleave to teh lorf ah mah murf.”

  17. My atheist, Muslim and Buddhist friends all despise Pat Robertson, seeing him as money grubbing. hate mongering hypocrite.

    My Christian friends are less charitable.

    1. There are both moderate and extremist opponents of Pat Robertson.

      One group wants to drag him from his pulpit with a chain around his neck, burn the church behind him and sow the ground with salt, chain him to the back of a pick-up and drag hin twenty miles over rough gravel, then pour acid on the remains.

      The extremists, on the other hand….

  18. Every good Christian should line up and kick Pat Robertson’s ass.

    1. “If they succeed in establishing religion as a basic Republican Party tenet, they could do us in. When you say ‘radical right’ today, I think of these moneymaking ventures by fellows like Pat Robertson and others who are trying to take the Republican Party and make a religious organization out of it. If that ever happens, kiss politics goodbye.”
      – Barry Goldwater “The Prophet”

      1. To be fair, Robertson is fairly harmless at this point. The real danger is from evangelical socialists like Huckabee.

        1. Agreed, not to mention statists like Mitt Romney.

  19. Who knew so much could go wrong with both liberty and gold?

  20. My mom has decided Pat Robertson might not be a good Christian after all. It’s been years since she was a devotee of the 700 Club, but I was still surprised to hear her say it. I think it’s b/c she’s shacking up with an Episcopalian who doesn’t think all Democrats necessarily go to hell.

    In all seriousness (actually, the preceding was entirely serious), you gotta be some kind of fucked up evangelist for my fundy Southern Baptist mama to write your ass off.

  21. Press release
    The Voodoo clergy intercepted Pat Robertson’s devil squad on the Haitian-Dominican border stealing the Haitian children. The devils were apprehended. The Voodoo gods protected the children. Details of the incident will be recorded by historians.

  22. LOL, he looks like a pretty horrid person!

    Jess
    http://www.internet-anonymity.se.tc

  23. @bestpriceforsales equus 3100 I had to make my own foam liner to keep the reader from bouncing around and damaging itself.

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