Stirred, But Not Shaken


You know all that stuff I believe? Yup: I still believe it!

Well, well, well. Obama gave a speech! With many words! Words which were stirring! There were stirring words about spending, stirring words about the war, stirring words about equality for gays, and even stirring words about health care. Thank goodness for insta-transcripts, though, because stirringly stirring as it all was, very little of it was actually memorable. What Obama delivered wasn't so much a speech as a platitude dump: He supports the things he supports, believes the things he believes, feels the things he feels—and yes, that includes your pain. As Obama psuedo-epics go, it was thoroughly underwhelming—Troy rather than Braveheart.

Aside from promises to get out of Iraq and let gays serve openly in the military, he staked out very little new, interesting, or provacative ground. Even his section on health care, which drew one of the night's most sustained periods of applause, was hardly revolutionary: He reiterated his support for the same policies he's supported all along, but declined to demand that Congress follow through on them. That's probably reasonable, considering the chances, but it's unlikely to have much of an effect on the final outcome. Obama filled 75 minutes with inspiringly delivered but thoroughly unremarkable speechifying—fluffy but substanceless rhetorical cotton candy. It was as if he was trying to get people to like him, rather than convince legislators to vote with him. What does he think this is—the campaign trail?

NEXT: Now, See Gov. Bob McDonnell on ReasonTV, Talking About Hooch!

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  1. How many of the Reason staff are still concious after the Maobamathon drinking game?

  2. The secrets Mark Hamilton’s Neothink and the wisdom of his Twelve Visions Party will prevent their hangovers.

    The Zon have spoken.

  3. The secrets Mark Hamilton’s Neothink and the wisdom of his Twelve Visions Party will prevent their hangovers.

    The Zon have spoken.

  4. “Obama filled 75 minutes with inspiringly delivered but thoroughly unremarkable speechifying”
    OK, I didn’t listen; was it ‘inspiring’?

    1. In a calculated, bland, formulaicly uplifting kind of way, sure.

      1. It was inspiring in that cynical, calculating way that TV movies based on the true story of athletes who overcome overwhelming odds are inspiring.

      2. So it’ll ‘sell’ for 50% of the population?
        Sooner or later, we have to rely on some percentage to see through the crap and decide to do otherwise, so I guess my question is whether this was ‘see-throughable’ for something more than 50%?

    2. It was inspiring in that grand, rhetorical way he has…unless you actually listen to the words and what they mean. Then, it inspired…..terror!

  5. has anyone done the math yet on his student loan proposal? Somehow it sounds to me like capping at 10% and max 20yrs or 10 if working for the public dole is going to be adding to the deficit.

    1. I think if you do the meth on that it will be less painful.

    2. I’ve done the math, and decided I can live with myself being a welfare queen. If John Stossel can carry that burden, so can I.

      1. You know…. i’m getting to the point where I just don’t care any more. Give me more freebies government… At some point I’ll just default on everything, bitch and moan when repo people try to take my car, keep all my other stuff and it’s not like they can repo my education… So why not? The incentives are just getting better & better… I think i’ll hold out for when next year, Obama declares that Bankruptcy can only negatively effect your credit for like 6 months.

        1. Honestly, I’m at that “couldn’t give a fuck” position. If basically everybody but me is getting some sort of handout, who am I to bitch when one finally comes my way?

          I do feel the slightest bit dirty, but at least I don’t feel like an unpaid prostitute.

  6. God reached his hand, down from the sky
    He flooded the land – he set it on fire!

    He said, “Fear me again! Know I’m your father!
    Remember that no one can breathe underwater!”

    So bend your knees, and bow your heads
    Save your babies, here’s your future!
    Yeah, here’s your future!!!

    God reached his hand, down from the sky
    God asked Noah if he wanted to die!
    He said “no sir!!!”
    “Oh, no, sir!!!”

    God said, “here’s your future!!!”
    It’s going to rain!!!

    So, we’re packing our things!
    We’re building a boat!
    Where God will create the new master race!
    Cause we’re so pure!
    Oh, we’re so pure!!!

    So here’s your future!!!

    God told his son, it’s time to come home
    I promise you won’t have to die all alone!!!
    I need you to pay for the sins I create!
    His son said, “I will…
    But Dad,I’m afraid!!!”

    Yeah, so here’s your future!
    Here’s your future!
    Yeah, here’s your future!
    So here’s your future!
    So here’s your future!
    So here’s your future!

  7. Oh, Dotti fails to see,
    That the ne-ne-ne-nets(!!!!) have been flung.
    And Dotti opposes all creation,
    Though the constable is waiting in his car.
    And the husband shifts his shambles And rails against the generation that m-m-m-m-made them what they are!!!!

    Get away! Oh, dear, get away!
    Get away!
    I don’t think, think, think, they’re gonna, gonna get away…

    Dottie is being taken away in their car.
    Dottie is being taken away in their car.
    Dottie is being taken away in their car.

    Richard, you’re lost and bleeding! … And punches through…
    Richard, you’re lost and bleeding! … Black falcons, bringing its claws out in hell…

    Richard, you’re lost and bleeding!
    Richard, you’re lost and bleeding!

  8. I hear that tautologies are tautological.

  9. Peter, I get you channeled Bond during the drinking-live blog game but who played Pussy?

  10. Aside from promises to get out of Iraq and let gays serve openly in the military, he staked out very little new, interesting, or prov[o]cative ground.

    Why not create a special ops division called the “Leonidas Division” populated entirely by gays – I am sure they would just love that! They would be the first to invade, the last to pull out, the forlorn hope, plus they could serve openly!

    1. The Sacred Band was Thebes’ greatest fighting force for quite some time. Just sayin’.

      1. Gorgidas for the win!

    2. I remember watching SNL as a grade school kid in the 70’s with my dad. He was a veteran of the 82nd Airborne, and at that time in the late 70’s, a steamfitter. One skit had him in total stitches, ‘The Gay Berets’. Of course, from his point of view, it was a slam on an arch nemesis, The Green Berets.

    3. “They would be the first to invade…”
      with mighty thrusts?
      “the last to pull out…”
      Maybe it would be more tactilly efficient to thrust, pull out, but not all the way, thrust mightily, pull out, but not all the way…
      until victory is ours! Or we cum…to our senses and pull out…for good.

  11. What does he think this is?the campaign trail?

    Apparently so. As I’ve said before, mostly all he’s done since he campaigned for the Senate is to continue to campaign. Perhaps that’s all he knows how to do.

  12. Yesterday I was somewhat surprised to learn that people still watch the SoTU. Tonight I got several hour’s worth of work done on my truck, while ya’ll…what? Watched a vapid political speech created by very smart people who spent a very long time making sure it didn’t actually mean anything?
    I think I chose…wisely.

    1. The snarkfest made it extremely entertaining.

      1. One doesn’t watch the SOTU. One does other shit while checking in on the H&R comments.

        1. I watched it… and for a while, I forgot Obama was black.

          Of course, I had to apologize for this, but I am a stupid sack of shit who says things that get me in trouble all the time. I have to do a LOT of groveling to keep MediaMatters off my ass.

          Besides, my hundreds of loyal MSNBC viewers expect me to be bipartisan, fair, and even-handed when interviewing Democrats.

          1. But did you get the tingle Chris?

            1. I can attest that Chris got the tingle.

              1. I thought tingleChris was the thrid day before Christmas is Germany, where more sausage and beer is consumed than in the 4th day before Christmas

    2. It was a good way to put myself to sleep…I have to get up early in the mornings.

      Hey, there’s a way Obama can reduce the deficit: sell copies of his speech as an insomnia cure.

  13. Most SOTU speeches are platitudes – 60% of what Obama said could be said by Bush or Clinton – its what the speech is for.

  14. WHAAAAAAT! We’re going to stop the war just as we’re going to fill the military with gays to get killed!

    1. Oh, no… Don’t worry, gays can still be killed in Afghanistan.

  15. How are getting out of Iraq and allowing Gays to serve openly “new”? Weren’t these positions Obama had supposedly staked out 2 years ago?

    1. Limey, he really means it this time!

    2. Not to mention that getting out of Iraq is actually Bush’s plan, as memorialized in rather ambitious agreements with Iraq signed before he left office.

  16. As Obama psuedo-epics go, it was thoroughly underwhelming?Troy rather than Braveheart.

    Oh, come on, Peter. It wasn’t that bad.

    1. I thought Troy was pretty good.

      “Immortality! Take it! It’s yours!”

  17. No matter what promises a President makes, it is up to each individual assume responsibility. Honestly choosing to improve life makes it so. Relying on anyone else will not make it so, as you are a follower and not a self leader. Money thrown to poor past decisions does not change the outcome. Allowing “Gays” into military, to be part of yet another loyalty gathering social good program? Military to protect us built strong and proud should never separate individuals. Yet, do many join military now to get the benefits or be the benefit to society?

    When we start to ask “Why?” of more of the programs that a President changes we may see that it is to gain loyalty from voters rather than taken as a Protective Measure for the Country, which is the President’s sole focus.

    When the President returns to the sole role of Government, to protect the people, their properties, and contracts, then our Country will operate like a ship sailing on smooth waters without resistance.

    Jill Reed

  18. has anyone taken a moment to realize

    that everyone is an expertise at complaining about PRESIDENT OBAMA but
    given the opportunity to turn things around they would be less than a tease

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