Reason Morning Links: Obama Wants Tax on High-End Health Plans, Holocaust Museum Shooter Dies, Cell Phones Prevent Alzheimer's?


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  1. Holocaust Museum shooter dies in prison.

    I wonder what he’ll think when he meets Hitler in hell and the Furher tells him, “The Holocaust isn’t a hoax! I totally pulled that shit off.”

    1. Now bend over, here comes Satan for our 10 o’clock raping!

  2. L.A. the latest bit city to see 40-year low in violent crime.

    You mean “big,” Radley? It’s hard to type when your hands are all sweaty from global warming.

  3. L.A. the latest bit city to see…

    did you mean biG city?

    1. I’m all hyped up on donuts and honeybuns and still slower than a gender confused diabetic. Sheesh

      1. Donuts and honeybuns? Well, you do already have the gender-confused part down. Now to destroy your pancreas.

      2. “donuts and honeybuns”

        Very fattening. Dude, what’re you, married?

        1. I like to think that my diet is like bodybuilding for my pancreas. Oh, and yes, yes I am.

  4. Border enforcement officials say they discovered Christmas Day bomber’s extremist links while he was in the air.

    They also have a super hot girlfriend. But she lives in Canada.

    1. “I met her at Niagara Falls. You won’t know her.”

      1. Niagra Falls! Slowly I turn. Step by step. Inch by inch…

    2. Max: Missed it by that much. [Corresponding hand gesture to demonstrate by how little he’d missed it].

      1. I was going to use that. But they are lying through their teeth and missed it by days.

  5. Two-bit city?

  6. The NY Times today has an article about a medical story showing that women who are married tend to gain more weight than women are unmarried.

    They claim to be mystified as to why this would be so.

    They actually have the gall to quote someone who says that it’s possible that married women go out to dinner with their husbands more often, and that the portion size in restaurants is to blame.

    They actually wrote this entire article and managed to refuse to offer the real explanation and the obvious explanation – when some women get married, they feel like they don’t have to try to be attractive any more so they get fat.

    1. That reminded me of seeing Marie Osmond and Valerie Bertinelli in the Nutri-System’s ads. Didn’t they both dump the lard about the time they got divorced?

      (a pre-emptive “eat shit” for all you feministing gashes that jump my ass over this)

    2. That is a profoundly stupid article. I mean I’m betting single women when dating probably go out to dinner more than married women. I think it’s plain fluffy’s reason is the correct one…

    3. Maybe they should just investigate the observed similarities to a wedding ring that that ring on inflatable liferafts.

      1. A recent study has shown (i’m lookin for the linky) that wedding cake shuts down leptin production in women.

        1. I always thought wedding cake was an aphrodisiac. At least for all the single women. Or is that just the wedding?

          1. If it is, it’s a fucking short active lifespan.

            1. You gotta be quick to catch the gazelles. The water buffalo have a little less stamina and speed. You can lay back and enjoy a cocktail or two before making a move on them.

              I think the cake has the opposite effect on the married.

              1. I thought the wedding cake was a form birth control?

    4. On a serious note I wonder if there is a biological link to mating or child bearing.

      The Oprah couch link has already been established.

    5. Choice quotes:

      This does not explain the still larger weight gain in women who became pregnant.

      Wow. That’s a real head-scratcher.

      “Think of going to a restaurant,” Dr. Murtaugh said. “They serve a 6-foot man the same amount as they serve me, even though I’m 5 feet 5 inches and 60 pounds lighter.”

      Yes, because you are forced, often a gunpoint, to eat everything you are served. Gall is right, Fluffy.

      Dr. Dobson said the finding of weight gain among all the women, with families or without, was troubling.

      Yes, the fucking obvious is often “troubling.”

      I can’t wait for the femi-blogs to howl about this.


      1. Dr. Murtaugh later said, “I’m gettin’ too old for this shit.”

        1. That is awesome, I can’t wait to show my girlfriend that.

    6. As a narcissistic and shallow bastard, this is one of the things thats terrified me about marriage. See, this is why competition is a good thing!

      1. Oh god

        beg to differ.

        Since I got dirvoced 4 years ago, and started to be single again, my appetite grows like weeds. You simply can’t resist the temptation of food. Everything you eat is so tasty. I have been wondering maybe when one sense of your is deprived off, the other sense would be heightened. When you have no sexual intercourse, then your sense of enjoying food is highly acute. I don’t know. Maybe it needs more sicentific evidence to prove what I have been going through. But this is the case with me.

        ? Teresa Zhu

        Anyone want to take one for the team… Warty?

    7. I saw that story too, and thought basically exactly the same thing.

    8. I see a lot of really fat couples in Texas. I think they’ve had that meaningful glance at each other over so many face-stuffing meals that means: “I don’t care anymore, do you?”

  7. Someone got paid government funds in Australia to conduct a study to find out if married women gain more weight than unmarried women.

    Can I get paid to do the American version of this study, please?

    1. Yes, but the US version will exploring why men get fat.

      1. And why their husbands don’t find them as attractive as they did previously.

        Wait, that’s a whole new study. Ka-ching!

    2. Sure. Get a job, get married, and and see if your wife gets fat. You’ll be being paid to conduct the study. Viola.

      Unfortunately for you, and them, there are already millions of dudes performing this study already.

      1. My wife lost weight after we got married. I, on the other hand, have packed on a few more pounds. I am the exception that proves the rule, I think.

    3. Yes, really, why is everyone talking about thw women getting fat. I see more fat middle aged guys married to skinny women than fat, middle aged women married to skinny guys.

      Fat guys don’t get laid or married at all. But that doesn’t stop them from bloating.

      1. Sure they do. It doesn’t take looks to get laid. It takes a sense of humor and deep pockets. Right? Especially when it comes to marriage.

  8. Who chooses the morning of a 5″ snow storm in a city that really never sees a lot of snow to go postal at work? Poorly planned disgruntled worker postal spree.

    he also has, AN ASSAULT RIFLE!!!

    1. not just any assault rifle. He has a LARGE assault rifle!

      1. I noticed that, too. WTF is a “large” assault rifle. Aren’t they all the same size, within a few inches here and there?

        1. Is a Tesla cannon an assault rifle? I fear I may have been carrying one in the Pitt to deal with slavers and raiders.

          1. Wait. There’s a Tesla cannon in Fallout 3? When do I come across that? The biggest thing I have is a missile launcher.

            1. It’s in one of the expansions. It’s not pleasant. . .to be shot by it.

            2. Broken Steel adds it.

              1. Excellent. I shall install it tonight.

        2. The large ones are more scary.

          1. Legally they are all at least over 16″ without an NFA stamp.

        3. And why are they always initially reported as an AK-47? Don’t the reporters know that there is more than one model of semi-automatic rifle?

          1. Letters and numbers sound scary, and lots of AKs in movies.

            1. Best gun to use in Left 4 Dead 2.

    2. Now at 7 shot three dead.

      And Fox News can’t Google Map to see that Webster Groves is not in North Saint Louis and is not inner city.

  9. TSA agent arrested at LAX after declaring: ‘I am God, I’m in charge’…..58482.html

    1. FTA: He had just gotten off duty and was behaving erratically, saying, “I am god, I’m in charge.” The agent was arrested.

      Man, they really will arrest people for anything now, even one of their own. No explanation what his actual crime was. The part about drugs at a party did not seem related…or the journalist who wrote the article is terrible at their job. Strong possibility there.

    2. He was only arrested for blowing the TSA’s cover.

      “SHHHHH! Not yet!”

  10. “Think of going to a restaurant,” Dr. Murtaugh said. “They serve a 6-foot man the same amount as they serve me, even though I’m 5 feet 5 inches and 60 pounds lighter.”

    This is precisely why I am 50% vegetarian. The first course is always steak, the second is some bunny food crap my wife didn’t finish.

  11. you are forced, often a gunpoint, to eat everything you are served.

    “Children are starving in Africa!”

        1. Is the ! a click?

            1. I’m hungry. Got any leftovers, wealthy American?

              Bono was here, but he just gave me an old U2 shirt. From the Zooropa tour, wtf?

      1. THATS MY LINE…and it was “Name Three!”


  12. A recent study has shown (i’m lookin for the linky) that wedding cake shuts down leptin production in women.

    Could be true. My wife and i did not have a wedding, and thus no wedding cake, and she’s very much in shape.

    1. Wait, The Wife and I had a wedding, but no cake either (just a 14-hour bar crawl through LES.) And she’s still thin, maybe even thinner than when we got married.

      Could brotherben finally be right about something?

      1. Well now that had a little sting to it.

        1. Rub a honeybun in it. The glaze is very soothing.

      2. I dunno- my wife and I had wedding cake, and she’s still hot. Thank God she became a runner…

  13. Mobile phones could offer protection from Alzheimer’s.

    Cool. Who’s doing a similar study about airport scans?

  14. No mention of the Global Warming-induced blizzard and record cold temps covering 2/3 of the country?

    1. Our “impartial” media is busy ginning up a story about how the cold weather is all the fault of SUV owners.

  15. Vaginaphobia and Video Games

    More recently, EA released b-roll footage of the Lust level in Dante’s Inferno, featuring a female enemy that has a retractable spike emerge from the vaginal folds of her crotch. A boss later in the stage is a topless giant who shoots a stream of demonic wasps from her nipples.

    1. That fits with how all the video game developers I know perceive women. A very different and scary species that may eat a man’s soul on a whim. You dont get normal sitting in front of a computer thinking in code for 16 hrs a day.

      1. A very different and scary species that may eat a man’s soul on a whim.

        I’m not a video game developer, but . . . .

    2. I wonder if Penn and Teller are going to do another video game Bullshit. Based on nipple wasps and vagina spikes.

    3. And they managed to work in the ultimate scare phrase, “male gaze”, into the video game article.

    4. JC, i can’t even read that drivel. but from the image “the ballad of gay tony”. can be seen as a soundtrack item. i wonder if he harrasses those poor bitches over there too…

    5. Having seen all the Developer Diaries for Dante’s Inferno, this is hilarious. Are we really stuck in that primitive view of video game developers?

      1. The few I know and the one I know at EA are all married. Some with kids. I gave up on trying to correct the basement troll image.

    6. Have the Jezebel folks ever seen Zardoz?

    7. A friend of mine, author of a NYT #1 best-selling “urban fantasy” series, had a lot of problems with the first artist assigned to her series by the Dabel Brothers. He was a very young 20-something, and all his women (including the main character) were drawn as young-naive-man fetishistic objects, nothing like they were described as being in either the books or the short story she’d written for the comic series. After she’d confronted him regarding a cover painting he’d done with serious camel toe and giant breast issues with the phrase “She. Is. Not. A. Slut.” he couldn’t or wouldn’t understand her problem with it, and finally got fed up enough with adult supervision he left. A female artist (with a much finer line and better design sense, to my reckoning) took over, and there have been no problems since.

      This looks like the same sort of sheltered-gamer-boy syndrome, to me.

      1. Blame Rob Liefeld. He warped a generation of young male artists with his complete inability to draw women as anything other than improbable sex toys.

      2. a very young 20-something

        ie, a 20 year old.

      3. She shoulda got Boris Karloff.

        1. Er, Vallejo.

  16. I took the liberty of sending the married women getting fat link to the ladies at Feministing. I am waiting for the outrage.

    1. Serves them right for getting married and forfeiting their freedom to a man…I’m guessing.

    2. Oh shit. I forgot to give fluffy the HatTip. Should I have given fluff the credit when I sent the link? I am ignorant of the protocol in these matters.

  17. “L.A. the latest bit city to see 40-year low in violent crime.”

    It’s the poverty, stupid.

  18. Feministing wants our female soldiers to look terrible, smell bad and be ignorant of at least 8 of the things a man notices instantly.

    LoveKrystal said:

    This makes me want to barf.
    I get the gesture.. but its disgusting..
    Its like sending the guys maxim and condoms and hair gel.. its pretty gross.

    I would like to see what the ladies getting the packages reactions are. and come on.. a pink camouflage makeup bag? why not just send some pink camouflage thongs that say. “Hi, I’m dumb!”

    1. Sorry. That link should have a trigger warning.

      If you go there, you will see Nancy Pelosi and Jill Biden stuffing their bags.

    2. “Sex in videogames is either the product of being good, getting lucky, or an exchange of money.”

      In other words, just like in real life.

      1. I’m trying to remember if I had to pay the doorman in the first Leisure Suit Larry game.

    3. why not just send some pink camouflage thongs that say. “Hi, I’m dumb!”

      Probably no need for the text if I got far enough to see the thong.

    4. pink camouflage thongs that say. “Hi, I’m dumb!”

      Hmm. The lack of such a product on the market has market failure written all over it.

      1. If I didn’t think they would just delete it I’d be tempted to post well hell, send them condoms and Maxim. Nothing a marine loves more than a chick into chicks and not having to tote around his own condoms.

        1. Why are you cruising a feminist board?

          1. are you asking yourself? miss your new troll or something?

            1. I just fail at threaded links. One of the many things I fail at.

              1. Yeah. Just one. Of the many.

                1. brutal..

                2. DAMN IT HONEY. That was only once!

                  1. If a tree falls does a woman hear it?

                    1. So your impotence is now supposed to be some mighty oak crashing to the ground?

                      I think you can’t see the forest for the flaccidity.

                    2. What the fuck is a tree doing in the kitchen?

                    3. That’s a whole quarter for the swear jar.

                      And stop listening to me pee. I know it’s you, I can hear you breathing.

                    4. How can I not listen, It’s like a fucking track horse. Plus keeping the intercom open doesn’t help freak.

                    5. That’s what she said!

      2. I’m sure you could make millions on it.

      3. I’m just wondering what sort of environment would require camouflage with pink in it. Mars, maybe?

    5. 13 years in the Navy and never once did I receive a “care package” with Maxims, condoms or pink thongs embroidered with, “Hi, I’m dumb!” But then again, the link attached to “Navy” nicely sums up my lack of angst on the issue.

    6. Personally, I’d get pissed if I were a female soldier and someone sent me Cosmo. It’s like they’re reinforcing that “stupid soldier” stereotype.

  19. Am I the only one who isn’t comforted by the cell phone story? I understood that cellphone radiation had NO effect on body tissue.
    Do tinfoil hats reflect the radiation? One of my, uh, friends, wants to know.

  20. Could brotherben finally be right about something?

    These ARE strange times.

  21. Re: taxing “cadillac” plans: Catch this quote from our fearless leadler in the Atlanta Journal Constitution this morning.

    “‘I’m on record as saying that taxing Cadillac plans that don’t make people healthier but just take more money out of their pockets because they’re paying more for insurance than they need to, that’s actually a good idea and that helps bend the cost curve,’ the president said in an interview with National Public Radio just before Christmas.”

    This one line strips bare all the empty rhetoric about choice. This is not about choice, it’s about control. Obama and the other supporters of this monstrosity think they know better than you what type of insurance you should and should not have, and they are pulling out all the stops to achieve their grand vision regardless of what we the people want.

  22. I’m on record as saying that taxing Cadillac plans that don’t make people healthier but just take more money out of their pockets because they’re paying more for insurance than they need to

    So, I presume there is some kind of exemption for unions in the Cadillac tax?

    What’s that? Nobody knows if there is or not, because nobody has any fucking idea what’s in the bill?

    1. As I understand, the Senate version taxes such plans and the House version does not. Such plans aren’t uncommon among union workers, often having been negotiated for in lieu of higher wages.

      1. Or should I say “even higher wages.”

  23. Calling it a Lincoln Tax would have been more truthful.

  24. Why the hell would the POTUS say that a major American brand is wasteful? I’m not a fan of Cadillacs, but the Prez is saying they are wasteful. Give GM billions, then call its flagship brand a waste.

      1. ackchewry it’s Shel Silverstein’s fault. but close.

        1. Giving boys feminine birth names was Shel Silverstein’s fault. Building a car from stolen factory parts was Wayne Kemp’s fault.

          1. oops.

            thanks Lamar.

            now i’m a jackass for sure.

            1. “since there ain’t no zero on a scale of 10, i give me a one…”

          2. Damn Jews ruined country music and Christmas music. Burn ’em all I say.

        2. Where the Sidewalk Ends has been edited since it’s original 1974 publishing. It used to have a poem titled “The Gypsies are Coming.” Now it is titled “The Googies are Coming.” Our world has gone off the PC deep end.

          1. wow. that sucks. i wonder was it done posthumously…

    1. You’re right but I’ve given up on Obama saying anything that makes sense. You know, he’s not interested in running car companies, but the CEO of GM has to go. We need more preventive medicine, but health care reform has to reduce duplicative and unnecessary care. The financial crisis was caused by reckless lending, but banks need to loan money to more people now.

  25. The graying of America is a significant factor,” said James Alan Fox, Lipman Professor of Criminal Justice at Northeastern University in Boston. “The largest and fastest growing segment of the population is people over 50. People over 50 also happen to be the age group that is the least likely to commit crimes. As the group grows, crime rates do decline.”

    Did he compare the rates to the number of people in the common law breaking ages? If the crime rate of 18 to 30 year olds is less than it was in the past then this is a real drop.

    But no, it’s always about the boomers.

    If crime is so low does that mean we can now fire the hundreds of thousands of cops living off the public teat? And the criminal justice professors?

  26. Seems yet again the SHeeple will get the short end of the stick! LOL


  27. Of the multitude of things which piss me off, the rhetorical interchangeability of “health CARE” and health INSURANCE” might possibly be the thing which pisses me off the most.

    1. The increasing difficulty of finding unscented trashbags really steams my hams.

      1. Hot dogs in packages of 10 and buns in bags of 8.

        That and the stupidly high price of bongwater at the local head shop.

        1. I used to hate that until I discovered that you could improvise a low-carb hot dog by using two Stackers pickles [one on either side of the hot dog] as a replacement roll.

          Yes, I am gross. Sue me.

          1. That sounds good.

            And less awkward than my friend Jon eating a bunless bratwurst with corn holders.

            1. coffee, nose, exit, ouch.

            2. I always found the rigidity of a hot dog to be lacking and unable to support the corn holder method. Limiting you to only bratwurst. The only other option was a single corn holder method with the hot dog, and well that just made most men uncomfortable and a few rather excited.

              1. Natural casing hot dogs are the answer to your problem. They crisp up fairly rigid on the grill.

                1. I’m a little hesitant to ask what natural casing hot dogs are.

              2. Jesus Christ you guys really need to stop subconsciously talking about your dicks. I really don’t need to hear how your dicks are lacking in rigidity and that you need to put “corn holders” in the ends. Who the hell are you, Mapplethorpe? Or that NutraSweet likes his dogs rigid and “with natural casing”. That either means he likes uncircumcised penises or he prefers goat intestine condoms.

                Way to ruin my Thursday morning, you sick fucks.

                1. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the futon this morning.

                  1. You still haven’t clarified whether it’s uncircumcised penises or goat condoms that you prefer.

                    1. You sure spend a lot of time thinking about uncircumcised goat penises.

                    2. Well, I see your screen name and BOOM, that’s what pops into my head. I assume that’s because of when you told me about when you were raped by that uncircumcised goat.

                    3. That was no goat. God, how I wish is was just a goat. [sob]

                    4. So, Warty, or…gulp…Steve Smith?

                    5. I’m told both.

                    6. You can just eat them really early in the morning. They tend to be more rigid early in the day.

                2. This only makes me wonder what Epi has been doing with his dick lately that he’s so ashamed about it and has to project his shame on everyone else.

                  It’s OK, Epi. You’re among sick, twisted friends here. We don’t judge. Much.

                  1. I have no shame in banging on my erect penis with a hammer. It’s you twisted goons who stick corn holders in your urethras while listening to “Poker Face” that disgust me.

                    1. “If you liked it, you should have put a cock ring on it.”

            3. Who needs holders for a hot dog? Once it’s cooled enough, just dunk it in the mayonnaise jar and eat it in two bites. A one-napkin-wipe deposit of juice on your hand at the most.

    2. If that is the case, you need to read Radley’s blog daily.

      My list of things that piss me off worse than that has to be broken down into individual states and cities to not be too unwieldy to manage. “Radley’s Column – Mississippi”; “Radley’s Column – Chicago”; etc.

      1. Radley opens my inner anger

  28. Send your extra buns to Chony. He has a use for them.

  29. Send your extra buns to Chony. He has a use for them.

    He… eats them?

    Also, what is the deal with airline food?

  30. I had to Google what a “Cadillac insurance plan” is. The first hit is from the Kaiser Foundation, where they define it as a plan to costs more than $8,000 per year for an individual and $21,000 per year for a family.

    So OK, those are pretty expensive plans. But you add another 40% in price to them, and what do you think will happen? People will start dumping those plans for cheaper ones (or ones one dollar short of the threshhold). Then where will the revenue for all those goodies come from? Oh that’s right, Congress will just redefine what “Cadillac” means and start taxing cheaper plans.

    1. So what do they do with Fortune 500 companies that self-insure?

      1. Take them over.

        Its the only way to be sure.

    2. I’ve had that discussion with statists many times. They truly can’t understand the point you’re making, simple as it is. I guess the gubermint skools have done their homeverk vell.

    3. thats the problem with this… they want it both ways… they want the tax to disincentivize these plans to reduce healthcare expendatures but at the same time use them as a source of tax revenue. It can’t do both.

  31. We need more class warfare.

  32. And fairness.

    Lots of fairnesses, as defined by patrician millionaire politicians.

    1. Well that seems fair, or at least reasonable.

  33. Google:
    Christianity is
    Hinduism is
    Buddhism is

    Finally Google:
    Islam is

    Hmm, chicken shit coding?

      1. Sorry, should have looked at the link before my last post.

    1. I don’t get it. It says “Islamabad is the capital of what country”. Is the correct answer Pakistan?

      1. I thought “Islamisbad” was the capital of Israel.

        BA DUM DUM

        1. Way, way better than my failed Cadillac joke (one spot below).

  34. “I had to Google what a “Cadillac insurance plan” is. The first hit is from the Kaiser Foundation, where they define it as a plan to costs more than $8,000 per year for an individual….”

    It’s only worth $3,500 the second you drive it off the lot.

  35. But what about Tila Tequila?

    If only someone would explain it to me…

    Explain, that is, why there are hundreds thousands of stories about whatever the fuck she has been up to, lately.

    Is she a diversionary tactic, to mask what’s happening in the health-insurance-giveaway wars?

  36. And what will become of the dogs?

    1. After the global warming bill is passed, your dogs (and the rest of your pets) will be lunch.

  37. “That’s not my dog.”

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