Nanny State

Pourable Fat in NYC, Now on Video!

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New York City really, really doesn't want you to drink soda, you fat slob. The folks at the Big Apple heath department know the stakes are high—the next coke might be your last!—so they are willing to take risks. They don't mind risking your computer keyboard, that nice new tie, or the sweater grandma knitted for you.

After failing to push through a tax on soda, Gov. David Paterson decided to switch to a hearts-and-minds campaign to win New Yorkers back from demon cola. Offering nauseating photos of pourable fat to morning commuters on the subway—developing those ads cost $277,000 and took three years—was just the first step. Now there's equally grotesque video (it's SWF but not safe for lunchtime):

The campaign continues. I'm sure the two comments on DrinkingFat's YouTube channel page from mostly inactive users are totally spontaneous and definitely not seeded by the people who made the video:

OMG,? so gross…sooooo gross!! But now I'll think twice about drinking soda.

This makes me cringe… Who? knew soda could do all that?

So those hundreds of thousands in taxpayer dollars were definitely well spent.

A link on the YouTube page redirects to a city government site with a survey designed to gauge whether or not the ad is working. Why not hop over and let 'em know your race, household income, soda drinking habits, and what you think about the video!

Lots more on soda taxes here.

NEXT: Chicago's Thick Blue Wall

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  1. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between ‘because I care’ and ‘because I can.’

  2. I can’t find it online, but there’s a Far Side cartoon where a scout leader is sitting at a campfire with some kids, saying something like, “…And slowly…he raised the bucket of lard to his lips…and began to drink!” And the caption says, “Gross Stories”.

    And beside the plagarism, there’s the pesky issue that ingesting fat doesn’t make you fat. Money well spent, New York.

    1. Ummm, if you take in calories, and don’t burn them off, they stay on your body.

      So, yes, ingesting an incredibly calorie-dense substance like pure fat will tend to pack on the pounds.

      1. Not really. The calories don’t get put into your fat cells without insulin, and your pancreas doesn’t produce (much) insulin unless you eat carbohydrates. I think the biggest effect of drinking glasses of lard would be to give you the world’s best-lubricated shits.

          1. Are we nitpicking, or is it safe to say that drinking 5 cokes a day while sitting on your ass will cause you to be more fat than if you drank water and sat on your ass all day?

            1. 5 cans of pourable fat are even worse for you than 5 cans of Coke.

              1. Actually, fats that are liquid at room temperature (monounsaturated) are considered to be better for you, Art. Do some homework before you make a joke, OK?

                1. Oh, oops. I meant 5 cans of HFCS. :p

                  1. Wait a sec. Drinking 60 ounces of fat in a day is better than 60 ounces of Coca Cola? (We’re going under the dubious assumption that you eat no carbohydrates)

                    1. 5 cans of regular Coke is a LOT of sugar, dude. Fuck yeah, you’d be better off drinking the lard. That’s not so different from the traditional Inuit diet, after all.

                      Try it yourself. Then sell it in shake form, call it “MegaSuperAtkins2000”, pitch it in late-night informericals, and make millions. Just make sure to credit me.

                    2. Although, to be honest, there’s no way you would be able to force yourself to eat that much fat, and if you did, you’d make yourself ill. Have you ever tried eating no carbohydrates for a while? Your body only allows you to eat so much fat at a time.

                    3. Also, I’m pretty sure drinking that much fat would give you wicked diarrhea.

                    4. Have you ever tried eating no carbohydrates for a while?

                      I forgot to finish this thought that I left dangling.

                      To really gorge yourself, you need to eat carbohydrates to get the ol’ insulin going. Then you’re hungry no matter what.

                    5. Actually, I did do the all meat thing for about a day because of a medical test. You get really, really sick of meat fast, and crave carbs.

                      So, technically, yes, if you drank glasses of pure fat AND ATE NO CARBS AT ALL, you’d just suffer a lot of diarrhea — but the not eating carbs bit is harder to pull off than you might think.

                      Your body knows not to waste incoming calories, and will fight you if you try to trick it like this.

                    6. The cravings go away after a while if you ignore them. That’s the point of the induction phase of the Atkinsy diets.

                      Or so I’ve been told. I’ve never had bad carb cravings, and I’ve eaten meat three times a day my whole life.

                  2. Notably, the “Drinking Fat Video Survey” asks whether or not you are more or less likely to drink sugar-sweetened soda. Someone should let them know that high-fructose corn syrup is their real problem.

  3. Does wanting to see Michael Bloomberg boiled in hot spattering animal fat make me a terrorist?

    1. No, but wanting to see him boiled in soda pop might.

    2. Just deprive that hypocrite of salt and enjoy his torture.

  4. deep fried bloomberg. mmmmmmmmm

  5. Who knew that fat was a monosaccharide? And that it comes in soft drinks? I’d better check that government mandated nutrition label from now on.

  6. Comrades,

    The health of all workers in our socialist state is a top concern. Good health in the work force is necessary for the success of our various 5 year plans. Therefore, the state will now be strictly regulating our diets, and soda and other bourgeois drinks will soon be removed from the store shelves.

    Next step: introduction of mandatory morning calisthenics, starting in the collective farms and then working down the chain from cities to towns to small villages.

    Because that’s what we signed up for in America. Right?

    1. Stop talking and get back to work, comrade.

  7. But… but… it’s…. for the CHILDREN!!!

    OMG, you heartless bastards!!

  8. I can’t believe someone put Warty’s sex tape on YouTube.

    1. The Warty vagina is seven feet wide and lined with razor-sharp knives. Do you really expect me to have sex with that?

      1. The best way to annoy a Vogon is to feed his grandmother to the Ravenous Wartygina Beast of Hit & Run.

  9. Dr. Melik: This morning for breakfast he requested something called “wheat germ, organic honey and tiger’s milk.”

    Dr. Aragon: [chuckling] Oh, yes. Those are the charmed substances that some years ago were thought to contain life-preserving properties.

    Dr. Melik: You mean there was no deep fat? No steak or cream pies or… hot fudge?

    Dr. Aragon: Those were thought to be unhealthy… precisely the opposite of what we now know to be true.

    Dr. Melik: Incredible.

  10. Why not hop over and let ’em know your race, household income, soda drinking habits, and what you think about the video

    Excellent idea! A “bi-transgender-rodent” who makes over $68,000 a year but only graduated from kindergarten and who drinks more than 11 cans of soda a week but is in “excellent” health just had some fun with it.

  11. Here I am cashing in my 401k to buy a large soda and popcorn while viewing a thought-provoking epic movie trailer like 2012, only to find out it’s not healthy eatin’. I knew there was something to my pissing snot and my skin crawling post consumption. I thought it was all part of the special effects. Next time I’m not getting any extra “butter” and I’m gonna get a cherry coke. I figure the fruit will offset the soda. Also, it would have been nice if someone told me about the switch from analogue to digital. Now I am scrambling to find one of those government converter boxes. Turns out digital tv’s cost tens of dollars.

  12. I would post with a reference to BASEketball, but I’m not sure if the other 4 people in the country to have seen it also read reason.

    1. Surely you are not implying that drinking fat liposuctioned from Marlon Brando’s ass is unhealthy.

      1. Seeing as how Brando has been dead for a long time, yes, that would be really unhealthy.

    2. At least 25% of us do.

    3. Four people in my household alone have seen BASEketball and we all count it as one of the all time great American movies.

      1. OK, well, I’m glad to see this much love for it. I went to see this in the theater, and it opened the same weekend as one of the big horror franchises. So there’s this huge ass line that I get stuck on, fully knowing that everyone was there to see something else. When my friend and I finally got in, we were the only 2 people in the place until about 1 minute to showtime, when another 4 dudes rolled in. And that was it.

        I laughed at the empty theater for a good 5 minutes. It was also perfect because we could smoke bowls and cigarettes without any objections. That alone was worth the admission price.

      2. Word. Sometimes I even watch that Comedy Central animated series the guys from BASEketball made. While not in the same league, its pretty good.

        1. TEAM AMERICA – FUCK YEA!

  13. Threadjack!!

    Copenhagen climate summit negotiations ‘suspended’
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/sci…..411898.stm

    Breaking: Copenhagen climate summit negotiations ‘suspended’
    http://wattsupwiththat.com/200…..suspended/

    1. Gloat gloat gloat.

    2. My Danish cousins are making me proud. It’s an extra helping of lefsa & meatballs on Christmas Eve for me in celebration of my Danish heritage.
      Fuck a bunch of warmist nonsense!

    3. Copenhagen climate summit: Tony Blair calls on world leaders to ‘get moving’
      http://www.telegraph.co.uk/ear…..oving.html

      Following the ‘climategate scandal’, Mr Blair said the science may not be “as certain as its proponents allege”.

      But he said the world should act as a precaution against floods, droughts and mass extinction caused by climate change, in fact it would be “grossly irresponsible” not to. …

  14. NYC seems to be increasingly filled with ads (almost all government-run) that hector you about how to live your life. Don’t smoke, don’t drink soda, talk to your children, exercise more. It’s depressing. You want to know what a real nanny state looks like, look over here… (And yes, I am toying with the idea of escaping to a different state.)

    1. Just read an article as to how NYC is raising the penalties for toy guns. Come on down to Texas. We play with the real thing.

      And our local fast food places are competing with humongaburger ads.

      Civilization at its finest.

    1. Who knew Stockholm Syndrome was a inheritable disease?

      1. It’s not. You get it from drinking fat.

    2. That is a little strange, yes. I can understand African-Americans’ being proud of their “Southern heritage,” but I don’t get the Confederacy thing.

      1. Hoookay, I clicked through to Edgerton’s Facebook page and simply going off that photo alone, I’m assuming the guy’s some kind of eccentric. And I’m a little odd myself, but I think Edgerton may be a cartoon character.

        1. H.K. Edgerton and Southern Heritage 411 strive to illuminate the truth as it pertains to the relationships and experiences of blacks and whites in the South as they have struggled together to maintain the principles of a limited, democratic and representative government as espoused by America’s founding fathers.

          This does not conform to the version of events I am accustomed to hearing.

          1. This does not conform to the version of events I am accustomed to hearing.

            While the history of the American South in most textbooks is overly simplistic, Edgerton’s take isn’t realistic at all. I’m also predisposed to skepticism of Edgerton’s views due to his quotation in the Morning Links.

      2. I’ve been reading a lot of Civil War history lately, and the craziest fact I came across is that Nathan Bedford Forrest–thought to be the first Grand Wizard of the KKK–employed at least 8 of his slaves as part of his elite calvary corps, promising their freedom if they rendered faithful service.

        1. Which they should have known was bullshit, considering Forrest personally executed and ordered the execution of free blacks that surrendered to him.

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Fort_Pillow

          1. Course, if they refused to fight after seeing that, he would have then executed them for disobeying orders, so they were pretty much screwed.

            1. And if he ordered them to sign up for his cavalry, and they declined — well, bad things would also have happened to them.

              So fighting seems to have been their least worst option.

              1. Agreed. Hobson’s Choice.

          2. I found it interesting considering that even in the North there was some debate over whether black men could make decent soldiers or were too cowardly by nature.

            1. Northerners tended to distance themselves from freed slaves, and so didn’t understand them all that well.

              Southerners tended to live in much closer proximity, but counterbalanced that by regarding slaves as subhuman cattle.

              So neither side generally had a good handle on the fact that people with high levels of skin melanin could, in fact, fight courageously.

    3. The South is pretty awesome, isn’t it?

      1. This tent is much bigger than it apears from outside.

        1. Are you coming on to me?

          1. Hey, you’re the one pitching a tent, apparently.

            1. +1. LOL.

  15. Another waste of money from Feudal Lord Bloomberg. (sigh)

  16. It looks more like a Coke float, heavy on the ice cream. It’s a commercial on TV, nothing is as it appears.

  17. This makes me cringe… Who? knew soda could do all that?

    SODA WILL STEAL YOUR SOUL

    1. No, you’re thinking of Shang Tsung.

  18. Don’t worry comrades. You can still get your ration of Victory Gin.
    [drink responsibly]

  19. Threadjack

    resident Obama reiterated his call Monday for the nation’s banks to increase lending, saying that he was getting too many letters from small businesses unable to borrow money.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..01464.html

  20. Attention comrades: your rations of Victory gin have just been raised from 1 liter a week to 3 liters a month.

    1. LOL. Good one.

  21. Obama is such a dumbass. He expects bankers to listen to him even though he has never operated a bank. He thinks everything is a political favor, so the money banks received must have been a payoff rather than be used for actual solvency. Now he wants return for the payoff, but that was not what the money was for. What a maroon.

  22. If Obama is a dumbass, what does that say about the bankers that took the dumbass’s strings attached money?

    1. They’re dumber-asser.

  23. New York Department of Health and Mental Hygiene?

    How do we go from preventing outbreaks of yellow fever to shit like this?

    1. That is definitely the kicker… Dont forget to floss your brain!

  24. My 7-year-old daughter rolls her eyes at the story on NPR about the “War on Chocolate Milk”. Seven years old and she knows this shit is stupid in a way that gives a bad name to all things stupid.

  25. If only Coca-Cola had been allowed to buy Dr Pepper (and Pepsi had been allowed to buy 7-Up) back in the ’80s (more here)… 😉

    1. Dude, you are the greatest soft drink historian I’ve ever encountered.

  26. Last time I checked, non-fat milk has 80 calories per serving. Two percent has something more like 100. I’m fairly certain that’s pretty close to what coke has. Granted, milk has beneficial stuff in it, but the ads are talking only about the ability of something to make you fat. Milk will. And they recommend it.

  27. Hey, love your website I’ve been reading about this subject all night. Fat Burner Reviews.

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