Sports

Why All Living Congressmen Should Be Sent on the Slow Boat to Mauritius, Forever

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If you ever see me on TV, being led away in handcuffs with a glazed look in my eye, as bewildered friends and neighbors explain that I always seemed like a nice guy, it will be after something like this:

A House subcommittee approved legislation Wednesday aimed at forcing college football to switch to a playoff system to determine a national champion, over the objections of some lawmakers who said Congress had more pressing matters.

Not enough of a college football fan, probably

The bill, which faces long odds of becoming law, would ban the promotion of a postseason NCAA Division I football game as a national championship unless that title contest is the result of a playoff.

The measure passed by voice vote in a House Energy and Commerce Committee subcommittee, with one audible "no," from Rep. John Barrow, D-Ga.

"With all due respect, I really think we have more important things to spend our time on," Barrow said before the vote, although he stressed he didn't like the current Bowl Championship Series, either. […]

The subcommittee chairman, Rep. Bobby Rush, an Illinois Democrat who co-sponsored the bill, said, "We can walk and chew gum at the same time."

The only salve on this particular wound is that when I conducted a Google Image search on Rep. "Bobby Rush" (not pictured above), for the purposes of making fun of him, well, go see for yourself.