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Eggo-Tripping at the Gates of Hell

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We may see less waffling in Washington over the next year—at least of the frozen kind. The Washington Post notes the coming Eggo drought, and demonstrates, once again, the amazing levels of brand-loyalty in America:

Because of a flood in the Kellogs's bakery in Atlanta and ongoing repairs at their Tennessee waffle factory, Eggo waffles will be out of production until sometime next year, the company announced recently.

So of course, America reacts appropriately: A case of Eggos is going for $60 on eBay.

No doubt this will please fans of Tyler Cowen's "markets in everything" approach to the world, but clearly, some of those desperate for a frozen-waffle fix aren't happy: 

A Facebook page has folks posting eulogies to the American toaster breakfast, and wafflers trade their tales of woe.

"OH MY GODDD!!!!!!!! EGGO WAFFLES ARE GOING TO HAVE A SHORTAGE UNTIL MID 2010!!!!! I am gonna go CRAZY if I don't get my waffles!!!" one wrote.

A terrible accident? An insidious corporate conspiracy? Given the current president's prominent history of waffle eating, how long till we see the creation of an independent commission to investigate the failures of the brand-name waffle market?  

Jacob Sullum wrote about why Kellogg exempted Eggo waffles from policies restricting food-marketing to children here

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65 responses to “Eggo-Tripping at the Gates of Hell

  1. And here I thought the increase in global temperatures was responsible for the shortage of frozen waffles.

  2. Nice Flaming Lips reference.

    1. AAaaaaraghhh you beat me to it! Do you realize?

      1. Is that gash in your leg the reason why you have stopped?

  3. This Christmas, Eggo Waffles are the new Tickle-Me-Elmo.

    1. Tickle-Me-Eggo

    1. We need a Food waffle Czar.

      Don’t bite off more than you can chew.

      1. We need a Food waffle Czar.

        That’s Obama’s job.

  4. Because of a flood in the Kellogs’s bakery in Atlanta and ongoing repairs at their Tennessee waffle factory, Eggo waffles will be out of production until sometime next year, the company announced recently.

    Ok, NOW we have a clearly-identified crisis due to Global Warming – an Eggo shortage. The science IS settled!

  5. ….how long till we see the creation of an independent commission to investigate the failures of the brand-name waffle market?

    Hours.

  6. Stimulate the wafflers.

    We must have a Waffle Czar working diligently on a plan to convert the Saturn plant from cars to waffles.

    Spare no expense!

  7. I think we can skip the commission and go straight to the great waffle bailout, with special focus on people who bought waffles at $60 a case and expected to sell them at $120 a case next year.

    Due to Kellog’s obvious greed and mismanagement they will be declared bankrupt whether they like it or not, and control of the company will be given to the SEIU. We will be told that this is a pro-market development.

    1. How waffle that will be.

    2. This threadwinner is full of awesome and win.

  8. No American should be deprived of his/her/its God-given right to toasted waffles. It wouldn’t be fair.

  9. Wafflegate?

  10. Only jerks eat waffles anyway. Screw them and the toaster they rode in on. Carbs for breakfast? You people disgust me. Especially Ska.

    1. Every goddamn food thread we have here, you feel the need to butt in and announce how whatever everyone is talking about makes you sick. WTF do you eat anyway? Plankton?

    2. Something has to be the side to my half pound of bacon, 3 eggs, hash browns and biscuits. Might as well be a pair of rather ordinary frozen waffles.

      What’s so bad about carbs in the morning? That’s probably the best time for them.

  11. The real danger herre is the likelihood that fly-by-night unlicensed opportunist will try to fob off substandard waffles as the real the. What if they import waffles from Belgium?

    The HORROR…

  12. Nobody else makes crappy frozen waffles?

    Fresh waffles are so much better tasting.

    And then there’s always this for an alternative (a rare safe for work prolefeed link!):

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_dlLj…..6804.0.jpg

    1. I have had those. If I had to, I would happily kill a family to get some more.

    2. I think I’m going to be sick. And because of that food and not Warty’s stench–I’ve grown used to that. Fond of it, even, in a twisted way.

      But that’s not food, it’s…a toy.

      1. It’s not so much food as an opportunity for Jon Stewart to make jokes about from time to time. Not sure if it’s a subtle form of product placement masquerading as mockery. Wonder if he’s getting paid for showing their product?

        On Stewart’s show, pancake-and-waffles-on-a-stick is the new NAMBLA.

        1. S/B

          pancake-and-sausage-on-a-stick

  13. stupid keyboard

  14. Oh Noes! Crappy waffles that taste like rubber won’t be available for 6 months!

    Seriously, does anyone over the age of 13 still eat these?

    1. Fucking waffle elitist.

      1. Look at this gestapo goon calling people elitists, after taking all the stroopwaffel in Holland.

        1. As a waffle elitist, I must point out that the plural of stroopwaffel is stroopwaffeln.

          I think.

          Also, I want me some.

      2. I AM a waffle elitist and not afraid to say so! My parents used to eat the disgusting Oat Grain Eggos in the 80s and when I tried one, I was outraged at how horrible it was!

    2. Wait, before I answer, I must qualify it – when you say “over the age of 13,” do you mean developmentally, or chronologically?

  15. Has Bin Laden released a video yet taking responsibility?

  16. A case of Eggos is going for $60 on eBay.

    No, there’s no case of Eggos “going for” $60. None are going for $250, either, though people have asked those prices without buyers. One DID go for $14.50, “for charity,” though others aren’t “going for” a mere $9.99.

    And I believe everything I read.

  17. I bought a box at my local Harris Teeter yesterday for $2.99. The “shortage” appears to not have hit my market yet.

    And sorry, but Eggo’s are the best, no other frozen waffle is in the same league.

    1. I though Harris Teeter was bought out by Publix years ago. Do Harris Teeters store still exist?

      1. They do in the D.C. area. The primary McSudleman grocery store is a Harris-Teeter.

      2. Insert lewd joke about Warty’s “Harris Teeters” HIER …

  18. Any man who would willingly put an Eggo into his mouth is not a man, but a ravening beast. He must be destroyed for his own good.

  19. We need Powdered Toast Man now more than ever!

  20. WTF? Who can’t get up the ten minutes earlier it would take to fix a real breakfast?

    1. Who eats breakfast?

    2. Get up ten minutes earlier? Impossible.

    3. What is this “morning” and “breakfast” stuff that you speak of?

      1. In fact, I rarely even have time for an Eggo. Mmm, sleeeep.

      2. Are you saying you’re someone’s morning breakfast, Jordan?

        NTTAWWT

    4. Word.

      Rubbery stale frozen “waffles” or

      Delicious freshly made waffles with cinnamon, allspice, molasses, and vanilla flavoring — mmmm, must have waffles …

    5. i roll out of bed at 8:20 and get to work at 8:30. there is no time for breakfast, only cigarettes and coffee at 7-11

  21. Future Bernanke quote in testifying to Congress concerning the rise in CPI:

    “It should be noted that the alarming rise in the CPI core-inflation index is a direct result of the disproportionate weighting of Eggo waffles in the basket of goods utilized in the calculation. Therefore, it is our assertion that all of this observed ‘inflation’ is from the shortage of quality waffles. We will continue our policy of quantitative easing.”

    1. But, according to Bernanke, the Fed has no leverage to negotiate with counter-parties and they must be given 100 Eggos on the dollar for any and all faulty swaps.

  22. I had an Eggo waffle on which the syrup made an image made an image of our blessed Virgin Mother Mary holding baby Jesus. I was going to put it on eBay and sell it for $23,000, but I was pretty hungry. So I ate it.

  23. Twatwaffle.

  24. Used to like Eggos until I got married and my wife makes Bisquick waffles on a real waffle iron. When we stayed with friends on vacation, eating Eggos was like driving a Neon after a decade in a Mercedez.

    1. Eating anything made out of Bisquick is like driving a rusted-out Chevy after getting pampered by a Lexus.

      While Eggo waffles would be the Yugo of the breakfast waffle category.

      1. What’s wrong with Bisquick. All it is, is flour and leavening.

    2. Nick, have her make some bacon, too, and crumble it into the waffle batter. Heaven!

      And there’s nothing wrong with Bisquick waffles (that a little bacon can’t fix, at least).

  25. Another failure of the free market system. Eating waffles is an entitlement and the current shortage will obviously affect minorities and women the most. How about a public option in which the government steps in and provides waffles at cost for the middle class, free waffles for the disadvantaged, and covers the cost of this entitlement by taxing the rich making them pay their fair share.

  26. This doesn’t affect the supply of Aunt Jemima frozen waffles does it? They are better and less PC.

  27. I though Harris Teeter was bought out by Publix years ago. Do Harris [Teeter stores] still exist?

    They’re still completely unrelated chains; Publix is a lot larger, but HT may cover a larger area of the country.

  28. 2 eggos with ice cream inbetween
    That’s good eatin

  29. There has to be a generic brand waffle.

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