Finally, a Freedom Tray That Holds Freedom Fries and Freedom Nachos
Meet the Freedom Tray:
According to the Freedom Tray website FAQ, it is both a "patriotic tray" (the largest print of the website proclaims "Made in America * Used Everywhere * GOD BLESS AMERICA) and "stadium friendly." Alas, those other defenders of American freedom—stadium security guards—probably wouldn't let the thing in.
The list of prohibited items at the Nationals ballpark, for instance, makes it pretty clear that there's no way your hard plastic, 17" freedom tray loaded with freedom fries and freedom nachos is getting past the freedom cavity search.
- Metal, plastic or glass containers of any kind (except for factory-sealed, plastic water bottles, no larger than 1 liter and juice boxes). Only one bottle of water per person will be permitted.
- Food items not in adherence to the following policy: All food items must be contained in single serving bags within a soft-sided container or cooler, that does not exceed 16" x 16" x 8".
Which is too bad, because the concept is otherwise brilliant. More FAQ:
How much weight can the Freedom Tray hold?
Be assured that the Freedom Tray is designed to hold all you can load in it. The Freedom Tray can hold up to 75 lbs. of weight in the center of the tray, with the legs deployed. This is one tough tray!
God Bless America, indeed.
Via Garrett Quinn.
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Looks like I have a new nickname for my ass.
This is America - 75 pounds? That's just a "snack tray" at a Packers game.
* Metal, plastic or glass containers of any kind (except for factory-sealed, plastic water bottles, no larger than 1 liter and juice boxes). Only one bottle of water per person will be permitted.
* Food items not in adherence to the following policy: All food items must be contained in single serving bags within a soft-sided container or cooler, that does not exceed 16" x 16" x 8".
If the team can't force you to buy *their* food, from *their* concessionaires, the terrorists have won.
Freedom Tray isn't free.
I can just see an unsuspecting Brit get his fingers caught in any number of those folding parts.
Those who trade security for Freedom Tray deserve neither.
They can take our fries, but they will never take our Freedom Tray!
your hard plastic, 17" freedom tray loaded can hold up to 75 lbs. of weight in the center of the tray, with the legs deployed
All Americans should be free from the danger and inconvenience of precariously balancing snacks on their laps. Universal Tray Care now!
Are ALL the parts Made in America? Because if not, Nick is going to make a video of some bikini babes smashing one.
I like how the site uses phrases like "deploy" and "fully engaged" to describe the Freedom Tray. Are we witnessing the militarization of the snack-management industry?
DO NOT TAUNT FREEDOM TRAY.
You are just collateral damage in Operation Snacktime Freedom.
Caution: Freedom Tray may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
Do not get Freedom Tray wet. Keep children away from Freedom Tray. If Freedom Tray begins to smoke, cover your mouth, place it in an open area and get away. Freedom Tray contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer. If you get dizzy or nauseous while handling Freedom Tray, do not touch Freedom Tray.
Heh, I like the "in the car" suggested use. And the "Exciting Features" promised in the "accessories" section.
I wonder if all those plastic parts are made from American oil?
Of Course They Are, and the legs are made of metal from the World Trade Center, you questioning friend-of-binLaden! go USA! Go USA!! Go USA!!!
But is there a Tyranny Tray? One that clips to my driver side window like the one's they used at A&W back in the day? That way I could keep my suicide bombs on it.
The Tyranny Tray proved the "Broken Window" Fallacy ala Clark W. Griswold.
"He's a genius with food additives and a failure as a father..."
The video embedded in this article is the best Transformers movie yet.
+1
FuknA, right?
Those movies are shit from a dog's ass.
DID YOU MENTION THE FREEDOM COOZIES? HOW YOU COULD YOU LEAVE OUT THEIR FREEDOM COOZIES? REASON HATES THE FREEDOM COOZIES.
Racist.
Fully compatible with The Snuggie.
Don't forget to download the Freedom Tray app for your iPhone.
Does a tray really qualify as a container? Put some padding on it, call it a seat cushion and there you go!
They may take our lives, but they will never take...OUR FREEDOM TRAY!!!
I, for one, would argue that the Freedom Tray is not a "container" subject to the ban. A Coke bottle is a container. The counter you put it on is not.
Its interesting! I would use freedom tray along with wrist water bottle. Now the I can give myself a complete freedom treat.