Conspiracy

Remember That Census-Worker Murder, the One Michele Bachmann Was Supposed to Apologize For?

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According to local authorities as quoted by The Associated Press, it was a suicide. I eagerly await mea culpas from those who jumped to conclusions.

Hat tip to commenter John.

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  1. But he coulda been killed by you wingnuts!

    1. and Tawanna Brawley coulda been raped by white cops. She was however a lyin bitch. Sparkman was a dip-shit trying to commit insurance fraud.

      1. Racist.

        1. Sing it, my brother! Down with the evil white man!

          1. Yeah… white people suck!

            1. Shut the fuck up, white boy.

            2. Again: This isn’t Craigslist.

  2. We may, in the words of Chris Matthews, never know the real motivation behind Hassan shooting those people at Fort Hood. But, they all immediately knew that Michelle Malkin and Glen Beck as good as hung this guy.

    1. Um… Hassan DID it. No grassy-knoll-mounted shooter in this assassination scenario.

      Of course, he should still get a trial. But the piece of shit murdered a bakers’ dozen of human beings.

      1. A baker’s dozen of human beings who would have gone and killed scores of human beings themselves. I’d say he saved lives.

        1. You can’t be serious. This is the kind of thinking that drives unhinged “Christians” to murder abortion doctors.

          Very seldom does that happen, but once is too many.

  3. My “self-hating bureaucrat dies in crazed auto-S/M swing-jackin’ accident” fantasy is ruined.

  4. Is it really jumping to conclusions to think that a person bound with duct tape and gagged was a murder victim?

    1. No its not. It is jumping to conclusions that he was murdered by someone inspired by your political enemies. Thinking it was murder was not jumping to conclusions. Thinking that talk radio was responsible was.

      1. I for one withheld judgment pending further evidence (before forgetting about it entirely).

        Just like you do with ACORN, right?

        1. Just like you do with ACORN, right?

          Except than in ACORN’s case there’s been “further evidence” for ten years. This is the same organization that refused to pay its workers minimum wage when they were working as phone solicitors on a minimum wage campaign. This is the same organization that has been accused with mistreating its employees in many states, and engaged in union-busting that most companies would shudder at, while at the same time fighting for tough union shop rules applied to other businesses. This is the same organization that has suffered from funds being embezzled.

          ACORN has been indefensible for years. They’ve been a poster child for hypocritical leftists. Those on the left should want them shut down more than on the right, because they’re such an easy target and have been for years.

          1. Glad to hear you’d never jump to conclusions about ACORN.

            1. do you get paid to troll websites and say ridiculous things and transparent talking points? and not in the sense that you are at work and being useless.

              1. Tony gets paid by the load.

                Besides, he’s protein-deficient. Side benefit of turning tricks for the liberal team.

            2. Did you jump to conclusions over the Duke case?

              Did you blame the OKC bombing on non-left-wing radio?

              Did you jump to conclusions on the cause of “global climate change”?

              Did you – eh, fuck it. You’re a lost cause.

            3. Glad to hear you’d never jump to conclusions about ACORN.

              I’m speaking about incidents that they’ve been convicted and fined for, depending on whether they were criminal or administrative law violations.

              There’s a difference, Tony, in commenting on something the day it’s been out and commenting on something that’s been investigated by the legal system.

              Then again, since Tony makes respectable and intelligent liberals look bad, I suppose he doesn’t see the problem with ACORN either.

              1. Of course he doesn’t see a problem. If it’s liberal, he’s all for it – I’d bet ten bucks if David Axelrod fucked a puppy on a live TV feed, he’d defend him, too.

            4. I refuse to jump to the conclusion that ACORN workers know what “underage prostitutes” even means.

  5. Now they’ll say that “wingnuts” drove him to suicide with their “mean-spirited” criticisms of teh Good Government.

    1. I’d like to see if we can expand this trend to Congress.

  6. I eagerly await mea culpas from those who jumped to conclusions.

    You better sit down for this one… and, don’t hold your breath, wait until hell freezes over and watch out for those flying pigs while you’re at it…

    1. And get in line behind the Duke lacrosse players.

      1. Good point.

        Hey, Tony… did YOU jump to conclusions on the Duke case?

        I’ll bet five bucks you did.

  7. We need to determine why he killed himself, and then see if similar measures can be applied to the rest of the federal government.

    1. He was despondent over lack of health care coverage for the poor.

      1. There is a constituency for that explanation among HuffPo and DU commenters.

        1. Well, yeah… HuffPo and DU contributors, for the most part, are insane.

          Fairness interlude: So are most Freepers.

  8. Now they’ll say that “wingnuts” drove him to suicide with their “mean-spirited” criticisms of teh Good Government.

    Wouldn’t it be awesome if that worked?

  9. The question now is what drove him to suicide?

    The answer: lack of universal health care… you heartless tea-baggin’ bastards!

  10. At first I found it hard to believe that he acted alone in making his suicide look like a murder… I was stuck on the difficulties inherent in taping yourself with duct tape after your kill yourself. Then I thought that perhaps he taped himself and slipped the rope over his head with his taped hands and kicked the chair (or whatever) away…. It’s still odd but if that’s what happened. Whatever.

    But the wingnuts have made themselves suspicious and the most likely of all suspects in this case and they should consider that some of the things they say and do are a bit extreme. In other words: the reasons all eyes were on you to begin with are your own fault.

    1. Yes, anyone who disagrees with you politically is immediately to be considered capable of murder or at the very least inspiring murder.

      STFU troll.

    2. In other words: the reasons all eyes were on you to begin with are your own fault.

      I, Kahn O’Clast, I’m sure you say that to black people and Muslims when they’re the first suspected, too, right? Just as you’d be first in line saying that even though the Nazis were wrong, those dirty Jews made themselves targets with their usury and their wealthy department stores, jewelers, and banks.

      1. When I hear about truck bombs going off in most of the world I assume first that it’s radical muslims… except when it is in Ireland and maybe London then I assume it’s me wee cousins starting trouble. When I pass a black man hanging from a tree South of the Mason Dixon line I tend to suspect White Supremacists or even the Klan…. When Abortion doctors are shot I almost never think that it’s Buddhists but rather Christians — and generally white Christians at that. A bunch of Hutu’s? Tutsis!

        So forgive me if when a government worker (census no less) is found apparently murdered (and it did look like that at the time with FED written on his body (and this all happening in a right of center area)) I might just think that it was radicalized conservatives first, rather than say some Maoist front.

        When Lefties protested Bush with signs they were placed in pens for Bush’s protection. You teabaggers and birthers show up at rallies with firearms and nothing is done to you. But when you do protest Obama with guns and signs going on about watering the tree of liberty with the blood of tyrants and when your favorite talking heads go on their tin-foil hat warnings about Left-Wing-Fascism! in America and the need to defend ourselves from evil government don’t be surprised that you are suspects when shit like this happens.

        And you call me a troll. Gnomes!

        1. Kahn, you’re buying into the bullshit that, upon hearing mere words, a person committing violent acts is absolved of all personal responsibility.

          BTW, where did the Unabomber get his ideas… hmm? Was it from one of Limbaugh’s books? Neal Boortz’s radio show? An issue of The American Spectator?

          1. The Unabomber is an odd choice to pick as a reference as he was/is clearly deranged. You might as well have picked Manson and listed the Beatles as a damning influence.

            I am not buying into that “fact” (that one is absolved of personal responsibility) at all, however I assume you believe that radicalized Muslim suicide bombers, while also personally responsible for their actions, may well have been motivated by the words of their leaders — be they “clerics” or otherwise.

            This bullshit nonsense that “people on my side of the aisle” do not have bad apples is ridiculous. In the 60’s 70’s the Left had asshole politically motivated murderers (e.g. Weather Underground) and the Right has had its fringe groups as well who have done bad things. I am not picking a side and think the “Bush is Satan” crowd was every bit as wrong as the “Obama is the Anti-Christ” one.

            Either way words affect people. If you doubt that those who assassinate abortion doctors are motivated by what they’ve been told, you need to do some more thinking.

            Calling Obama a dictator and a tyrant is inflammatory and a bit over the top.

        2. it did look like that at the time

          Bullshit. From the very beginning, the investigators suspected suicide.

      1. The gnome in all of this is the repugnant opportunistic bastard Andrew Sullivan. From Neocon to faux libertarian to Obama idolator all in the space of a few years.

  11. Mr. O’Clast, may i buy drugs from you?

    1. Don’t do it, man. He is obviously mixing shit together from beneath his kitchen sink.

  12. Radio Equalizer has video and transcript of left-wing radio loon Stephanie Miller blaming the Tea Party movement.

    Darn it – just when the left was about to make this guy their personal Horst Wessel… the authorities had to spoil the party for them.

  13. An apology? From progressives?

    Hah!

  14. Re: I, Kahn O’Clast,

    But the wingnuts have made themselves suspicious and the most likely of all suspects in this case and they should consider that some of the things they say and do are a bit extreme.

    This is your conclusion only. The fact that you do not agree with the so-called “wingnuts” (a totally subjective term from your part) does not mean the suspicions were warranted nor should it be a reasonable call for their speech to be subdued.

    1. Trouble is, liberals want radio (regular and satellite-flavored), TV (over-the-air and cable), and the internet to be filtered by the FCC.

      That way, the only news and/or views we get will be left… or far-left.

  15. Look what the disgusting David Weigel posted today: Michele Bachmann Catches a Break

    For background read this.

    1. I’m still trying to figure out how a lefty partisan statist like Weigel ever got any kind of position at Reason. What an embarrassment.

      1. I’m sure Weigel was A-OK with you back when he was smearing antiwar people (up until about 2007).

        1. Vintage Weigel: “In short, this ‘anti-war movement,’ piloted by hardline communists and populated by walking, talking stoner stereotypes, is a p.r. goldmine for the Bush campaign. He must be doing something right if he’s got these people against him.”

          1. You get the feeling Weigel isn’t the kind of guy you want to turn your back on.

      2. He didn’t seem half bad when he was here. Maybe he’s adjusting to his new audience.

      3. I should have read before I posted. I don’t think this is an unreasonable comment on Weigel’s part at all:

        Coming as it did the day of the taxpayer march on Washington, days after Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) became the most prominent Republican to urge non-compliance with the census, it’s good news for conservatives that Sparkman’s death was not a politically-motivated homicide.

        I’m curious to know what, specifically, you disagree with in this comment.

        1. Read this for background: http://washingtonindependent.c…..d-currency

          1. So? Bachman is a fool who sang a very different tune about federal power during the Bush years. Indeed, we’ve even seen some Reason writers savage her on this here blog.

            1. Bachmann sucks generally, but that’s beside the point. Weigel is now saying she “caught a break” it was suicide — when he was the one who implied she was to blame! From the linked article:

              “After the speech, Bachmann had only a few minutes to sign autographs and collect a stack of CDs and books from fans who’d followed her into the lobby. I caught up to her as she headed outside and asked if she had any response to the murder of a Kentucky census worker, having noticed that the Census, a constant target for Bachmann, did not figure into her speech.”

              WTF response was she supposed to have?

              1. “WTF response was she supposed to have?”

                She’d been hammering the issue; before an extremely friendly crowd of social conservatives, she didn’t mention it. I asked about it. I didn’t know what she’d say, and was a little surprised that she blew me off instead of offering some pro forma comment about what a tragedy it was — or that she hadn’t heard about it! Really, anything would have been interesting.

                Before this incident, there was a fascinating rise in anti-Census rhetoric and cries for non-compliance. This incident put a stop to that. That’s the context I was covering.

                1. So she didn’t mention an incident she had no reason to mention; she didn’t treat you with the respect you thought you deserved for asking about it; and now she has “caught a break” for having nothing to do with a suicide that no rational person thought she had anything to do with in the first place.

                  Thanks for clearing that up!

                  1. No, I wasn’t surprised that she didn’t mention this incident. She didn’t mention the census at all. And this was at a conference that featured a panel on the danger of the census.

                    Years ago, there was a fairly funny blogger named Jim Treacher. Wonder what happened to him…

                    1. You are so full of shit.

                    2. Years ago there was a fairly slimy reporter named Weigel. Not much has changed.

                2. What’s wrong with anti-Census rhetoric or non-compliance?

                  As long as it’s just verbal, of course.

                  Not necessarily aiming the ? at you, but at the usual suspects.

        2. How in the hell do you conclude that someone who had not a damned single thing to do with a murder suddenly “catches a break” when the thing they hadn’t a damned single thing to do with was not a murder but a suicide?

          Does Ron Paul “catch a break” if the Fed blows up tomorrow and in the course of the investigation it’s determined it was caused by a gas leak and not a Mises Institute splinter group?

          It’s a stupid thing to say.

          1. Oh, man, I’d give a years’ pay to see that explosion.

          2. Is this really so confusing? Bachmann started making loud comments about how invasive the census was, and how she wouldn’t participate in it, days before this incident. I noticed that she had clammed up about it; when we were at the same event, I asked her about it, and she blew me off. She didn’t say anything about it after that. And this struck me as interesting because Bachmann, who has found a niche in speaking plain and driving liberals crazy, rarely goes silent.

            It turns out that the census worker killed himself — a doubly horrible act, considering that a child depended on him. In cold political terms, yes, this is good for Bachmann et al. Should she brush off her talking points and tell fellow citizens not to participate in the census? I don’t think so, but it seems like she’s moved on anyway.

            I’ve covered fake hate crimes before — this was definitely a fake hate crime directed at white rural critics of the government.

            1. “I noticed that she had clammed up about it; when we were at the same event, I asked her about it, and she blew me off.”

              Of course she did. That’s the proper response to “do you still beat your wife?” type questions. She had nothing to do with it before, and she sure as hell has nothing to do with it now and somehow she’s escaped by the skin of her teeth?

              If I comment on the news that I think Barack Obama is a bad president, and then someone else who thinks Barack Obama is a bad president kills him while scraeming “Barack Obama is a bad president”…

              …I’d punch you in the teeth if you asked me a question regarding my culpability in that action. If we have to start censoring our political opinions on the off chance some deranged lunatic with similar opinions decides to start thinning the herd, then nobody will say much of anything.

              1. But you’re not an elected official. I’m thinking more along the lines of “When Clinton was president, and that shitbag Jesse Helms made vaguely threatening remarks about how Clinton better avoid North Carolina military bases if he knows what’s good for him, and then an Army private from No’Ca’lina tries to assassinate Bill Clinton while yelling ‘Jesse Helms was right!’ then yeah, I’d say Helms would be fair game for questions.”

  16. My goodness, that was a really-really-really long time ago! And the Council For Transgender Self-Awareness has not disproven that teabaggers did not fund that murderous act!

  17. If what the investigators are saying is true, there should be apologies all around. But…

    As someone who has read a Balko article (and at the risk of being labeled a conspiracy nut), I will seldom take things local authorities declare at face value. Kentucky wasn’t looking too good in the national eye when this was a murder, and pressure from above can sway conclusions. Just sayin’.

    1. It was never a murder.

      1. I think you may have missed my point.

  18. So…the whole staff at “reason” is in on this petty monitoring of journalists’ work. How sad that is.

    1. Yeah, sort of like the ending of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, sad. BTW, your violin is a bit out of tune.

  19. I’m thinking more along the lines of “When Clinton was president, and that shitbag Jesse Helms made vaguely threatening remarks about how Clinton better avoid North Carolina military bases if he knows what’s good for him

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