Terrorism

Verily, 72 Virgins Await You At the Cheesequake Rest Stop (Mile 123) on the Garden State Parkway…

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More signs that New Jersey is absolutely the greatest state in the nation, and not simply because it was the stamping grounds at some point of virtually all great past, present, and future libertarians (well, at least Milton Friedman, Virginia Postrel, Tyler Cowen, Peter Boettke, Karol Boudreaux, English Tim Cavanaugh, Gene Healy, and others too numerous to mention, including one who proudly [read: ashamedly] called Garden State Parkway exit 114 something close to home):

In a television interview [aired yesterday] on the CBS show 60 Minutes, [kidnapped] reporter Maziar Bahari, an Iranian-Canadian, recounts the Revolutionary Guard's obsession with the Garden State.

[His] guard seemed to believe sex and alcohol can be enjoyed easily in New Jersey.

"I think the words 'New Jersey' sounded to him like the most American place that you can be in your life," said Bahari, who was held captive for 118 days in an Iranian prison.

"He hated me and he was jealous of me at the same time because I had been to New Jersey."

More, including video, here. Move over, "NJ & You, Perfect Together," the Garden State has a new tourism slogan: "He hated me and he was jealous of me at the same time because I had been to New Jersey."

Headline allusions explained here and here.

Hat tip: Chris Ruzich.

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  1. And now they even have a Republican governor!

  2. So all that New Jersey-bashing is actually rooted in jealousy?

    Sweet.

    (NJ native here, though not currently a resident.)

  3. ‘Journalist detained in Iran says interrogator thought New Jersey was ‘paradise”

    When Bruce Springsteen and Bon Jovi are away on tour, maybe.

    And I’ve always been very fond of downtown Newark.

  4. What, still no word from Reason on Climategate? I am looking forward to Ron Bailey’s comments…

      1. Oops.

      2. Reason’s blog post was the first blog post that showed up in Google News search, in fact.

  5. Q: Are there that many virgins in the state of New Jersey?

    A: Doubtful.

  6. “I think the words ‘New Jersey’ sounded to him like the most American place that you can be in your life,” said Bahari

    I have never felt sadder for a Revolutionary Guard.

  7. Jersey Shore, born and raised, and counting the minutes until I get back for a Thanksgiving visit. Brooklyn has lately been sucking the life out of me.

  8. Charlie: “I got myself outta Beirut once, I think I can get outta New Jersey.”

    Mitch: “Yeah? Well, don’t be so sure. Others have tried and failed. The entire population, in fact.”

  9. New Jersey? Meh. The Mississippi of the North.

  10. “He hated me and he was jealous of me at the same time because I had been to New Jersey.”

    God dammit, there’s nothing left to say.

  11. “He hated me and he was jealous of me at the same time because I had been to New Jersey.”

    If the New Jersey Tourist Bureau has a wisp of intelligence, this will be on a T-shirt by the weekend.

  12. What exit is Tehran?

  13. The official song of the youth of New Jersey is “Born to Run”, a song about getting the fuck out of New Jersey. I think that says everything that needs to be said about the Garbage Garden State.

  14. So the guard had a secret inner douche? We should start airlifting orange tanner, white rimmed sunglasses, and hair gel to Iran.

    1. You forgot the pink shirts.

      1. Also, Jaegerbombs, energy bars, whey protein, and HGH.

        1. Popped collars. Don’t forget the popped collars.

          1. For the mecca of all of the above, see: Long Island.

  15. The Mississippi of the North.

    In Mississippi, people can still accidentally get left alone when they’re not being railroaded into prison. It’s libertopia compared to Jersey: the shitty part of Massachusetts they let Fredo run.

  16. As a resident of Mississippi, I can assure you that is untrue.

  17. [His] guard seemed to believe sex and alcohol can be enjoyed easily in New Jersey.

    It’s apparently all that makes living there bearable, and I have a sister as proof.

    Personally, I find sex and alcohol are easily enjoyed pretty much anywhere. How easily are they obtained is always the question…

  18. New Jersey: Come for the virgins, stay for the Guidos

    1. Watch it, fella!

  19. I don’t know the origin of the term guido, but the Italian verb guidare means “to drive.” Guido is the conjugation for “I drive”.

    Coincidence, or something more?

    1. What is “I drive IROC Z.” in Italian.

    2. they all drive bitchin camaros

  20. Ah, the old days, when New Jersey was, for Shiite fanatics, not paradise but Satan’s own warship (see highlight quote, page 2) (seriouly wonder if there isn’t some twisted connection):

    http://www-personal.umich.edu/…..812/14.pdf

  21. Growing up in the Philadelphia suburbs, you find many people who are convinced that they have obtained paradise when they get a shore rental in Ocean City, or Wildwood, or wherever. I’ve met a self-made millionaire who built his palatial dreamhouse on the Shore, and can’t understand why others in his tax bracket waste their time going to Europe, or the Caribbean, or anywhere else.

    What a sorry poor bunch of bastards they are.

  22. Jersey, like all other states, has places you wouldn’t want to visit and lovely places you would. Save for the
    northeastern corner of NJ, there’s lots of scenic spots.

    1. The nude beach is quite nice.

  23. All that has to be done is actually invite the entire Revolutionary Guard to actually visit New Jersey.

    Then they’ll feel sorry for Americans.

  24. This story makes me swell with patriotic pride.

    The USA is so much better than Mideastern hellholes that the people over there are even jealous of New Jersey. Our worst state is exponentially better than their best province.

    USA! USA! USA!

  25. This story makes me swell with patriotic pride.

    The USA is so much better than Mideastern hellholes that the people over there are even jealous of New Jersey. Our worst state is exponentially better than their best province.

    USA! USA! USA!

  26. You ain’t never been to Cheesequake?
    Don’t ever come to Cheesequake.
    Cuz you wouldn’t understand Cheesequake.
    Stay the fuck outta there.

    Quick, name the reference.

  27. Ever been to Flint?

  28. Tyler Cowen loves him some “Paulson Bailout Plan”…

  29. New Jersey
    Each day your beauty shines from farmland to the shore.
    New Jersey
    In this great land there is no place that offers more.
    Together
    We’ll see the dreams you’ve dared to dream all coming true.
    They’re my dreams, too.

    New Jersey
    Your cities help to make this nation strong and free.
    New Jersey
    Your courage comes alive in every face I see.
    Together
    We’ll build tomorrow from the challenge of today.
    Now we’re on the way.

    Positively New Jersey!
    You stand for liberty!
    Positively New Jersey!
    Your people hold the key!
    Your spirit makes us everything a state could hope to be.
    Positively New Jersey…and me.

  30. I took a shit…

    Eh, nevermind.

    1. And it smelled like New Jersey

  31. even Alice figured out that its better to be from NJ than in NJ. Going thru life with blinders on…its tough to see.

  32. Maybe I should have watched that, instead of the first piece on last night’s 60 Minutes, which was part of the current drip, drip, drip (like the reports on mammograms and cervical cancer screening) about how it’s wicked when insurance company workers make health-care decisions for you, but it suddenly, magically becomes virtuous if it’s a government worker doing it.

  33. There’s a sign by one of the Turnpike state trooper barracks that reads
    “INFORMATION
    POLICE”

    Aside from my foreboding, I thought it was nice that they’re at least upfront about their philosophy.

    I saw some pictures of turnpike signs that say “Carrying extra gas in containers is prohibited.”
    What’s up with that? I thought not being allowed to pump your own was already a touch paternalistic. Someone tell me this is really about safety and not revenue.

  34. I didn’t know there were 72 virgins in NJ.

  35. I posted something positive about the nude beach at Sandy Hook and it was marked as “spam”. Hm….

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