Government Spending

Lame Lobsters Cause Bad Loan Policy

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Olympia Snowe, is that you?

Remember 2008 when congressional Democrats really, really, really wanted to pass the stimulus? At the time, they needed to snag a few Republicans to get the bill through. Meanwhile, Sen. Olympia Snowe (R-Maine) really, really wanted federal money to give to lobstermen in her state, since lobsters aren't big sellers when everyone feels poor.

Thus the American Recovery Capital program was born. The $255 million loan program for small businesses has an expected 60 percent default rate. That's largely because the program is explicitly targeted at businessmen who can't pay back loans.

From today's Washington Post under the bleak headline "SBA bailouts draw little notice," the details of a loan plan that only makes sense in a world gone mad:

The loan program offers an unprecedented 100 percent guarantee to banks, vs. the SBA's standard 75 percent. The loans' anticipated default rate is 60 percent, compared with the agency's average 10 percent. And all of the funds must be used to repay other delinquent loans—another first for the SBA.

"Logic tells you this is a bad idea. By definition these businesses are already failing, but we are lacking standards right now; our world has been turned upside down," said Barry Bosworth, an economist with the Brookings Institution.

The WaPo piece wraps up by pointing out that programs like this are almost impossible to kill once they exist, so we should probably just get used to Snowe's lobster pork.*

*Wow, "lobster pork" is pretty much the ultimate in treif.

NEXT: Social Science in the Drug War Zone

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    1. First sideboob post!

      1. Does that turn you on? Well, it shouldn’t, because it’s my sideboob.

    2. Man-made breasts aside, I would quibble with the photo, as that’s a spiny lobster, whose habitat is warm waters, not the cold North Atlantic where Ms. Snowe resides, shivering.

  1. Can’t tell if the photo makes me hungry, horny, or both…

    1. Is there a difference?

  2. Excellent side boob.

  3. That’s some nice side boob.

  4. ***shakes fist****

  5. Real?

    Eh, who cares?

  6. I hope KMW got the URKOBOLD’S (hallowed be his name) permission to post that photo of the Weibskobold in her lobster girl guise. If not, she ought to put on her taintgard.

    1. KMW revealed Lobster Girl (now the Weibskobold) to the Urkobold, actually.

  7. Ah, lobster girl has returned!

    I am not so foolish this time…directly into Fap Folder she goes.

    I like workin’ it to crustaceans.

    I’ll read the article later. I have more…pressing things to deal with now…

  8. Lobster pork is the most amazing idea ever. What makes it better is that one third of humanity is forbidden to eat it.

  9. So is more of this what Snowe was angling for when she voted yes on Obamacare in committee?

    Sorry to interrupt the LobsterGirl pantathon for all those missing out on really good pr0n.

  10. Why can’t you get a picture of a hot chick kissing a real Maine lobster instead of that spiny nasty thing from parts unknown (to us Downeasters).

    1. How often are there bikini photo ops in Maine?

    2. That is a lovely warm-water lobster – arguably better than Maine bugs unless you really love the claws.

  11. Woot! Lobster girl for Friday!

    Someone needs to use their 1337 skills and find out more about this girl.

  12. Eating Lobster: You’re doing it wrong.

  13. That’s some good side boob.

  14. Oh nooo…Lobster girl is back and all I get is a big blank square where the photo is supposed to be. Help!

  15. Has anyone mentioned the awesome sideboob?

  16. That is a tremendous photo.

    Oh, and up here, it’s pronounced “wicked fackin lobstah”.

  17. I can’t believe you pervs haven’t noticed the awesome sideboob!! You’re letting me down…

  18. She can kiss my lobster any time.

    1. If any part of your body resembles a crustacean, perhaps you need medical help. Reconstructive surgery at least.

      Or maybe you just have a butter sauce fetish?

      1. Maybe he mistook his Jergens tanning cream for his Jergens hand lotion. I believe those two tubes are virtually identical.

      2. Maybe if I tie a bib around it and dip it in butter, she’ll give it the same kind of attention.

  19. You know, back when pictures of scantily clad women were hard to come by, guys sitting around hoo-hahing to each other to celebrate their appearance might have made sense beyond objectifying women.

    In the age of net.pr0n, the only possible interpretation is that you enjoy treating objects like women. Your fig leaf is gone, fellows.

    1. The only person here who treats an object like a woman is Warty. And he paid for that Fleshlight, goddammit

    2. Tulpa –

      News flash: heterosexual men like tits. Especially ones on hot women.

      Such has it ever been. No attempt towards further pussification of the American male will prevent it from continuing to be so, at least as long as I’m above ground.

      It has nothing to with “objectification.” It’s about teh titties.

      1. Yes, hetero men like tits. Me too.

        That doesn’t justify 90% of the posts in this thread looking like they were written by Beavis & Butthead in awe of “sideboob”.

        Lemme tell ya feller, I can see great sideboob, upboob, backboob, slantboob, interboob, transboob, or any other kind of boob projection there is, anytime I want. Act like you’ve been there before, son.

        1. LOOK AT ME I SENSITIVE

          I don’t think there’s any chicks here; you might as well stop.

          1. How we behave with no women around speaks far more about us than at other times.

            And this isn’t so much a sensitivity thing as a patheticness thing. The disdain you have for your loser nephew who runs around the house boasting about rubbing naked Barbie dolls doesn’t generally spring from sensitivity.

            1. That is all fine, but did you get a good look at the sideboob?

    3. Tulpa, did you forget to insert your meta-humor suppository today?

  20. Tulpa, a lot of women get naked on the internet. But this chick is showing some great side boob, and for that, we thank her.

    And she’s hot, which a lot of the naked women on the internet cannot claim with accuracy.

    And, she’s kissing a lobster.

    And, STFU.

  21. Whoa, check out the side boob! Re-register this site to reason4wood.com.

  22. Jeebus, Tulpa, I think you need to unpucker, just a little.

  23. Did i mention the sideboob earlier? Because that sideboob is badass.

  24. Der ist irgendein wundervoller seitlicher Boob, ja?

  25. C’mon guys…duh! Sideboob!!

  26. meh, she’s a bit too thin for my liking.

    1. We’re libertarians here and supposed to be open-minded but screw you. Actually, wait…I’ll take the thin ones off your hands so you never have to worry about them again.

      God, I love free market principles in action!

      1. I’m 6’3″ and 315#. The delicate ones tend to break. It’s a safety issue really.

        1. Reverse cowboy. Problem solved (and the ladies love the ride).

        2. You got arms, man! Prop yourself up!

        3. Or doggystyle. That works with all women.

  27. Somebody get that chick some Lobster Lover’s Beer!

  28. I have the sudden urge to get laid. In butter.

  29. what the fuck is up with the site not allowing hyperlinks?

    first, threaded comments, now, no hyperlinks?

    I’m cancelling my subscription!

  30. Forgive me, for I have threaded.

  31. Did I miss the meeting on the threaded comments boycott?

  32. Yes, you did. And it was your turn to bring the bagels!

    Adnotatiunculae bilicis delenda est.

  33. By the way, in posting about the Weibskobold over at Urkobold, we have uncovered a few facts about Lobster Girl.

    First, the photographer is some dude named Zuan. Second, the photograph appears to have been taken in the Miss Hawaiian Tropic Colombia model competition. Finally, the lobster and the model are just friends.

    1. Yeah, they tried foolin around, but the lobster pinches too hard.

      also…

      “How about this side boob. like it? well you shouldn’t cause it’s MY sideboob, hehehehe.”

  34. PL – I forgive you. Can’t say the same for Zod, though. I recommend kneeling.

    How did you get the hyperlink to work?

  35. Normal HTML coding. I got zapped yesterday when I tried to post a link to Lee Roy Selmon’s restaurant. Near as I could tell, the Hit & Run TSA didn’t like me including a bunch of periods between the menu item (which I posted in toto) and the price. Then I had issues with posting links for a while.

    This new system really is a dramatically inferior experience for me as a commenter.

  36. hmmm… I used normal html coding in an attempt to link back to your comment, to no avail. I detect a plot. or a pilot. not sure which.

    If the “reply to this” button either quoted the comment being replied to and/ or linked back to it, that would be far preferable to threaded comments, and actually useful.

  37. I suggested something like that in some thread. The real issue for some commenters is being able to easily quote the comment to which a reply or insult is directed. I think your solution sounds lovely.

  38. I suggested something like that in some thread. The real issue for some commenters is being able to easily quote the comment to which a reply or insult is directed. I think your solution sounds lovely.

    I agree.

  39. Do we have a quorum? Yes?

    The ayes have it!

  40. DEMAND KURVE!

    did I do that right?

    1. without the “e” on the end.

      to demonstrate how serious we are about that, Mr. Steven Crane shall beat the crap out of himself using himself.

      while soiling the blow-up Noam Chomsky doll and the leather-bound edition of “Heather Has Two Mommies” (the one with the sweaty pillow fight scene on page 69)

  41. OMG…. Instead of American Idol, I wish there was a side boob contest. The winner gets to sleep with me.

  42. I had to use the all knowing iPhone to the the picture…Vista/IE sucks. Nice picture. I missed that threaded comment meeting but am in full agreement. All future clich?s will be placed at the bottom.

    That face on Stewie when he realizes he is nursing off of Peter

    priceless

  43. Here’s my objection to the “ooh boobies!” pile-on that inevitably occurs here following a picture of a reasonably attractive woman. It makes for an annoying environment for any woman considering participating. And, if you hadn’t noticed, we’re kind of short on women around here.

    1. Listen, before you get all sexist sensitive, yesterday, several posters expressed concern about John Stossel’s apparent weight loss after viewing the pic Reason affixed to the article.

    2. Hey, the chicks are are free to ogle John Stossil and Ron Paul.

      hmmmm, ok, not quite fair…

    3. I don’t engage in the pile on, being happily married to a woman with endowments. Therefore, as one somewhat aloof to all of this, let me note that we’d be low on women regardless. There aren’t a crapload of female libertarians, period.

    4. also, i don’t think it’s so much a boobies pile-on as a quote-that-familyguy-episode pile-on

  44. The research on the model was done because she was declared the Urkobold’s mate back in 2007 (the Weibskobold). As such, it would’ve been nice to have had more photos of the model to reveal to the world in Urkobold postings.

    Sadly, we failed, as we are wont to do. Probably explains why the blog is bigger in Austria than in the U.S.

  45. Another Phil, I can’t speak for all of the ladies, but I at least find it illuminating to learn just how powerful a good side boob can be.

    To return the favor, I give you penis-enhancing jeans.

  46. I bet that lobster’s exoskeleton is really hard now.

  47. If anyone here is interested in something other than boobs, Trevor Corson — he of lobster and sushi fame — takes a look at the lobster problem in Maine from a non-political perspective. He is, in fact, identifying price crashes that have nothing to do with the recession and everything to do with how lobster merchants have conducted their affairs for the last couple of decades.

    I’m not sure if “since lobsters aren’t big sellers when everyone feels poor” is Mangu-Ward’s opinion or Olympia Snowe’s. In either case, it’s wrong. Lobster has never been cheaper and now’s the time to be scarfing it up like it’s ocean candy (unless you have gout or cholesterol problems).

    The article is called The Mystery of Cheap Lobster and it’s here: http://tinyurl.com/y9an6ob

  48. If anyone here is interested in something other than boobs

    I stopped reading right here.

    Stay on topic, man!

    1. {smacking my forehead}

  49. Hot damn! Those are some nice legs on that lobster! Look at the size of those things!

    Oh, and LobsterGirl looks nice too. Boob.

  50. contrary to what you may believe, i am not a boob man. i am an assman with a nipple fetish. i have no use for your side-boob or front boob unless i’m playing with his/her nips.

  51. None of you homos have noticed the bitchin’ sideboob.

  52. I loob this stoob so moob. I think I woob loob the stoob to my foobs.

  53. Very nice sideboob… Who was talking about loans?

  54. Wow.. very very nice lobster err. maine fishy loan. and boobs.

  55. Providing Personal Finance News like Insurance, Loan, Debt, Business, Pension, Payday Loan and other Debt Settlement Blog.

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