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Gerson Column Gets Meta-Godwin

Radley Balko | 9.25.2009 12:27 PM

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Stern warning from the ever-earnest, web-loathing Washington Post columnist Michael Gerson: You know who would have loved Internet comment threads? The Nazis.

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NEXT: Obama, Race, and Health Care

Radley Balko is a journalist at The Washington Post.

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  1. sage   16 years ago

    LOL! I got your column swingin' right here!

    ww.anonoturd.uk

  2. Warty   16 years ago

    User-driven content on the Internet often consists of bullying

    Shut the fuck up, Michael Gerson.

  3. Rich   16 years ago

    The least responsible contributors see their darkest tendencies legitimated and reinforced, while serious voices are driven away by the general ugliness.

    Yep, that's H&R, alright.

    Generally ugly, I mean.

  4. Xeones   16 years ago

    Yo, fuck Michael Gerson. He's probably racist, too.

  5. Joe M   16 years ago

    The absolute freedom of the medium paradoxically encourages authoritarian impulses to intimidate and silence others.

    That's rich. I didn't know that freedom encouraged authoritarianism. If that's true, we'd better restrict freedom as much as possible in order to prevent authoritarianism.

  6. Xeones   16 years ago

    Yep, that's H&R, alright.

    Generally ugly, I mean.

    I, for one, am a bronzed Adonis, so i don't know what you're- oh yeah. Warty.

  7. Kevin   16 years ago

    We've driven plenty of voices away, but I wouldn't exactly call them "serious."
    < Cue the joe/ACORN comment >

  8. Warty   16 years ago

    Lonewacko is pretty serious, and we haven't driven him away yet.

    Xeoenes, you are uglier than Hephaestus.

  9. Xeones   16 years ago

    10/17/08 NEVER FORGET

  10. lunchstealer   16 years ago

    Hey, no love for Bolshevik propaganda? I think they'd do a pretty good job of taking advantage of teh intarwebs, too.

  11. J sub D   16 years ago

    You want serious? Here's some goddan serious.

    NATURE, the art whereby God hath made and governs the world, is by the art of man so imitated that he can make an artificial animal. For by art is created that great leviathan called a commonwealth or state, which is but an artificial man; in which the sovereignty is an artificial soul, as giving life and motion; the magistrates and other officers the joints; reward and punishment the nerves; concord, health; discord, sickness; lastly, the pacts or covenants by which the parts were first set together resemble the fiat' of God at the Creation.

    To describe this artificial man, I will consider: First, the matter and the artificer, both which is man; secondly, how it is made; thirdly, what is a Christian commonwealth; lastly, what is the kingdom of darkness.

    And first, of man, The thoughts of man are, singly, every one a representation of some quality or accident of a body without us, called an object. There is no conception in the mind which has not first been begotten upon the organs of sense. The cause of sense is the eternal object which presseth upon the proper organ; not that, as hath been taught in the schools, the thing 'sendeth forth a visible or audible species.'

    yadda, yadda, yadda.

    How does one get to be as clueless as Michael Gerson, anyway.

  12. kc   16 years ago

    I'd found the "mask comes down, find out what I really think" aspect of internet blogs, particularly those on the left, to be wonderfully enlightening. Now I know what do-gooder liberals really think about, say, for example, people with Down Syndrome, by seeing how Trig Palin was treated by the left.
    So much for thinking that liberals are well-meaning but ignorant - now I know their true thoughts and motivations.
    Last thing we need is censorship of the net.

  13. Mad Max   16 years ago

    Gerson deplores the anonymity of many Internet postings - we are to believe that such anonymity is an unprecedented development which harms public discourse.

    This would undoubtedly come as a surprise to the authors of *The Federalist,* Letters from a Farmer in Philadelphia, and other literature from the Founding era. Of course, Gerson is a Bushevik and doesn't much care for the U.S. Constitution or the principles of the American Revolution, so it's understandable that he has little appreciation for these classics of pseudonymous literature.

    In contrast, (to pick up on Gerson's Godwinism), guess what book was not published anonymously - although the author had more reason to conceal his identity than did James Madison. After all, at least James Madison didn't compose the Federalist Papers in a prison where he was serving a sentence for treason against the country he professed to love.

    But Madison chose anonymity, and Hitler chose publicity.

  14. Michael   16 years ago

    Sunlight is the best disinfectant.

    Besides, I think Michael Gerson doesn't wike it when pweople pick on his cowwumns.

  15. Xeones   16 years ago

    Warty, frankly, the only average you don't bring down around here is the average number of man-on-sasquatch rapes.

  16. Paul   16 years ago

    Last thing we need is censorship of the net.

    The FCC is drafting a plan for that.

  17. Jimbo   16 years ago

    I think Michael Gerson is Bizarro world Gene Spafford.

    Spaf's great quotes are about UseNet, but they apply equally as well to the Web (and H&R).

    "Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it."

    Maybe someone could invent some sort of USB device that emits powerful peer pressure waves so that we can get back to enforcing the sort of conformity that Gerson seems to love.

  18. Paul   16 years ago

    This would undoubtedly come as a surprise to the authors of *The Federalist,* Letters from a Farmer in Philadelphia, and other literature from the Founding era.

    That was Benjamin Franklin writing in as JollyRancher291

  19. dhex   16 years ago

    what i find odd is that "democracy" in his world isn't an ugly, anarchic collection of insane voices vying for power, but somehow akin to a campfire sing-a-long.

  20. Mad Max   16 years ago

    Paul,

    I don't know about Franklin's Internet handle, but one of his jobs was as a printer who happily published anonymous works. Kind of like an 18th century ISP.

  21. P Brooks   16 years ago

    Goddammit.

    I thought this was going to be about Gina Gershon.

  22. Paul   16 years ago

    I thought this was going to be about Gina Gershon.

    It might as well be.

  23. Elemenope   16 years ago

    I didn't know that freedom encouraged authoritarianism.

    I know, for example, that the freedom of speech has led to a general increase in people wanting to slap the shit out of other people.

    Just for an example.

  24. Paul   16 years ago

    I don't know about Franklin's Internet handle, but one of his jobs was as a printer who happily published anonymous works. Kind of like an 18th century ISP.

    Yep. Interesting how works, bills and libels often had to be printed anonymously because the king would, you know, hang you if he found out who was doing the writing. Notice how modern progressives don't like the internet because it's anonymous?

    Coincidence? I think not.

  25. Paul   16 years ago

    I know, for example, that the freedom of speech has led to a general increase in people wanting to slap the shit out of other people.

    Slap, hang, put in front of firing squad...

  26. Warren   16 years ago

    You know who would have loved Internet comment threads? The Nazis.

    You know who liked to use hyperbole to demonize population subsets?

  27. Isaac Bartram   16 years ago

    In case anyone's interested Letters from a Farmer in Pennsylvania was written by John Dickinson.

  28. Paul   16 years ago

    In case anyone's interested Letters from a Farmer in Pennsylvania was written by John Dickinson.

    John Dickinson was a Glenn Beck viewer.

  29. Paul   16 years ago

    You know who liked to use hyperbole to demonize population subsets?

    You know who would have hated anonmymous, uncontrolled speech?

  30. BakedPenguin   16 years ago

    Frank Gerson is Underzoggy?

  31. Paul   16 years ago

    Gerson:

    The adaptive use of new technology was central to this achievement. The Nazis pioneered voice amplification at rallies, the distribution of recorded speeches and the sophisticated targeting of poster art toward groups and regions.

    This man is unhinged. Fucking unhinged.

  32. John   16 years ago

    "How does one get to be as clueless as Michael Gerson, anyway."

    Stupidity is a pretty common human condition. The question is how does someone as clueless as Gerson get a spot on an alledgedly serious OP/ED page. Honestly, I hear more intelligent and coherent thinking from crazy old ladies in laudrimats. What is even more pathetic is that Gerson no doubt thinks he is much smarter and more enlightened than the average person. I mean he does write for the Washington Post after all. If anyone is wondering why publications like the Post are going bankrupt, one need to look no farther than giving someone as clueless as Gerson a weekly spot for one of the reasons.

  33. Paul   16 years ago

    "If you tuned in," says Steve Luckert, curator of the exhibit, "you heard strangers' voices all the time. The style had a heavy emphasis on emotion, tapping into a mass psychology. You were bombarded by information that you were unable to verify or critically evaluate. It was the Internet of its time."

    Cue ominous music...

  34. John   16 years ago

    "The adaptive use of new technology was central to this achievement. The Nazis pioneered voice amplification at rallies, the distribution of recorded speeches and the sophisticated targeting of poster art toward groups and regions."

    Let's see, what politician today was a pioneer in using new technology like the internet and was last seen having his minions organize artists to use government money to propegandize for the cause?

  35. Xeones   16 years ago

    John, that's totally racist.

  36. JW   16 years ago

    Well, at least we now know the identity of one of our house liberal trolls. I just can't make up my mind as to which one.

    Did we make him wear flair too?

  37. highnumber   16 years ago

    How does he miss that the Nazis controlled the medium (radio) for a passive audience, quite unlike the interactive medium of the Internet? That shuts down his analogy.

  38. The Church Lady   16 years ago

    You know who would have loved Internet comment threads?

    I don't know ... Could it be ...

    SATAN?!

  39. John   16 years ago

    "sophisticated targeting of poster art toward groups and regions."

    He writes this in the same week Breitbart broke the NEA propeganda call story. If he posted this crap on H&R, we would call him out for being a performance artist.

  40. Paul   16 years ago

    How does he miss that the Nazis controlled the medium (radio) for a passive audience, quite unlike the interactive medium of the Internet? That shuts down his analogy.

    His analogy was shut down when he opened his copy of OpenOffice on his Powerbook to write the article.

  41. Elemenope   16 years ago

    You know who liked to use hyperbole to demonize population subsets?

    EVERYONE.

  42. Jimbo   16 years ago

    You know who would have loved Internet comment threads? The Nazis.

    You know who liked to use hyperbole to demonize population subsets?

    I'm guessing Doug Pirhana (around 2:50)?

    Vercotti Doug (takes a drink) I was terrified of him. Everyone was terrified of Doug. I've seen grown men pull their own heads off rather than see Doug. Even Dinsdale was frightened of Doug.

    Interviewer What did he do?

    Vercotti He used sarcasm. He knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire.

    Presenter (voice over) By a combination of violence and sarcasm, the Piranha brothers by February 1966 controlled London and the South East. In February, though, Dinsdale made a big mistake.

  43. CAPITAL LETTERS   16 years ago

    dude, that column is hitlerious!

  44. Rich   16 years ago

    Cue ominous music...

  45. fresno dan   16 years ago

    Big wet kiss to the Reason commentors for unusually hilarious comments. Gerson needs to bend over and meet my little friend "redwood"

  46. JW   16 years ago

    The Nazis were High School dropout losers living in their mothers basements cranking out web site and blog comments?

    And here I thought they were a violent and authoritarian state.

    Whodathunkit?

  47. Isaac Bartram   16 years ago

    Ethicist Clive Hamilton...

    Is it just me or do any of the rest of you just cringe whenever someone quotes an "ethicist"?

  48. John   16 years ago

    "Is it just me or do any of the rest of you just cringe whenever someone quotes an "ethicist"?"

    It is not just you. The term is usually followed by some school marm explaining that it is really okay to put Grandma on an iceberg or that you are a traitor to nature for using anything better than industrial grade toilet paper.

  49. Art-P.O.G.   16 years ago

    Gerson would probably be pissed that the most succinct and appropriate reaction to his column is one of those facepalm images that are used so liberally on internet message boards.

  50. Paul   16 years ago

    Is it just me or do any of the rest of you just cringe whenever someone quotes an "ethicist"?

    As a regular NPR listener, I am treated to no shortage of ethicists-- especially bioethicists. Everytime one of these self-appointed masters of our future opens his or her mouth, I'm tempted to stab my eardrums out with a dull phillips screwdriver.

  51. JB   16 years ago

    Yes, because Hitler just loved when people called him a cock-sucking little bitch.

  52. Guy of Gisbourne   16 years ago

    Why a dull screwdriver cousin?

  53. JW   16 years ago

    I want to be an unethicist. Do the same online cert mills sell those too?

  54. duster   16 years ago

    2 friday funnies in one day! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

  55. scape   16 years ago

    the challenge of this technology is not merely an isolated subculture of hatred. It is a disorienting atmosphere in which information is difficult to verify or critically evaluate

    Try this: File > New > Window > Google.com > washington+post+gerson+truth

  56. mike   16 years ago

    a sharp phillips screwdriver is an ice pick

  57. MNG   16 years ago

    I cringe too, but for different reasons. Ethics has long been a subfield of philosophy, and some great fairly apolitical stuff goes on in academic philosophy departments.

    But then there are these inter-disciplinary positions where some MD becomes a "bio-ethicist" or something. The quality of those guys thoughts are usually very low.

  58. John   16 years ago

    That is true MNG. Most ethicists' work is apolitical philosophy. But, like any other field, getting called for a media interview tends to attract and bring out the worst.

  59. Johnny Longtorso   16 years ago

    John Dickinson was a Glenn Beck viewer.

    http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0030764/quotes

    Ben Franklin: Calling me an Englishman is like calling a cow a bull--he's thankful for the honor, but he'd rather have restored to him what was rightfully his.

    John Dickinson: When did you notice they were missing?

    ---

    Thomson: [reading Washington's letter] The situation is most desperate at the New Jersey training ground in New Brunswick, where every able bodied whore in the co... "WHORE?"... in the colonies has assembled. There are constant reports of drunkenness, desertion, foul language, naked bathing in the Raritan river, and an epidemic of the "French disease." I beg the congress to send some representatives to restore order, before I am completely overwhelmed. Your obedient...
    [drumroll]
    Thomson: G. Washington.
    Col. Thomas McKean: That man would depress a hyena.
    Hancock: Well, Mr. Adams, you're chairman of the war committee. Do you feel up to drunkenness, desertion, and New Brunswick?
    Rev. John Witherspoon: There must be some mistake, I have an aunt who lives in New Brunswick.
    John Dickinson: You must tell her to keep up the good work.

  60. robc   16 years ago

    Madison and Hamilton were just spoofing Jay with that Publius handle.

  61. Isaac Bartram   16 years ago

    But then there are these inter-disciplinary positions where some MD becomes a "bio-ethicist" or something.

    Yep, them's are the fellers what really makes me grind me teeth.

  62. robc   16 years ago

    Longtorso,

    I assume you know this, but 1776 isnt exactly historically accurate. (For example, Dickinson had only been in the colonies for a few years, he moved from Scotland to be president of Princeton, so it is unlike he had an aunt in New Brunswick).

  63. robc   16 years ago

    Witherspoon in my previous post, not Dickinson. Sigh.

  64. Paul   16 years ago

    The problem with the ethics industry is that it's completely unregulated. Anyone can become an ethicist. For instance, I'm a Free Speech ethicist. And I say anything anyone says is good for free speech. Even if I disagree with it.

  65. Johnny Longtorso   16 years ago

    I assume you know this, but 1776 isnt exactly historically accurate.

    What!!! WHAT!!!! Next you'll tell me the Continental Congress didn't ever sing. That's a racist thought.

  66. Paul   16 years ago

    Michael Gerson is bigot and a pig, but he's still my brother.

  67. John   16 years ago

    Robc,

    My entire impression of the founders is based on watching 1776 as a child. Don't even think of telling me that it is anything but the gospel truth.

  68. John   16 years ago

    "What!!! WHAT!!!! Next you'll tell me the Continental Congress didn't ever sing. That's a racist thought."

    Or that John Adams wasn't obnoxious and disliked.

  69. Alan Rickman   16 years ago

    Why a dull screwdriver cousin?

    Because it's dull! It will hurt more!

  70. Johnny Longtorso   16 years ago

    Or that John Adams wasn't obnoxious and disliked.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1776_%28musical%29#Historical_accuracy

  71. MattXIV   16 years ago

    The adaptive use of new technology was central to this achievement. The Nazis pioneered voice amplification at rallies, the distribution of recorded speeches and the sophisticated targeting of poster art toward groups and regions.

    If Gerson were slightly saner, he'd look at this and reach the obvious conclusion that Nazis invented rock and roll.

  72. John   16 years ago

    Your shattering my innocence Longtorso.

  73. Paul   16 years ago

    MattXIV wins the thread.

  74. Enjoy Every Sandwich   16 years ago

    Why would anyone be intimidated by pixels on a monitor?

    In any case, Gerson has it backwards. The reason that many people are so nasty on the Internet is that they're anonymous. It's harder (for a decent person, anyway) to be that nasty to others face-to-face. Also they might just bitch-slap you, and your PC won't do that.

  75. Johnny Longtorso   16 years ago

    It's harder (for a decent person, anyway) to be that nasty to others face-to-face.

    Harder, but much more satisfying.

  76. nobody special   16 years ago

    So the internets are bad because people have to decide on their own what is true instead of having the truth told to them by pundits?

  77. Talking Head   16 years ago

    So the internets are bad because people have to decide on their own what is true instead of having the truth told to them by pundits?

    Well.....yeah!

  78. CatoTheElder   16 years ago

    So the internets are bad because people have to decide on their own what is true instead of having the truth told to them by pundits?

    Yeah ... and they also let the unwashed masses the opportunity to call "Bullshit!" and unfashionable experts to explain why they are correct. (E.g., Rathergate.)

  79. The Libertarian Guy   16 years ago

    The Piranha Brothers had nothing on Ron Decline:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdjZSb0S7ZU

  80. MattXIV   16 years ago

    I want to be an unethicist. Do the same online cert mills sell those too?

    I think all you need to be a biounethicist is a super-soaker full of stem cells.

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