Alcohol

Drink Yourself Fit

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Speaking of drinking yourself fat, a new study, based on data from the Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System, finds that drinkers are more likely to exercise than teetotalers are. And the more they drink, the more exercise they get:

Among women, those currently using alcohol exercised 7.2 minutes more per week than those who abstained. Relative to abstainers, the more alcohol used, the longer the person exercised. Specifically, light, moderate and heavy drinkers exercised 5.7, 10.1 and 19.9 minutes more per week. Overall, drinking was associated with a 10.1 percent increase in the probability of engaging in vigorous physical activity. The results for men were similar.

The study's lead author, University of Miami health economist Michael French, warns that "these results do not suggest that people should use alcohol to boost their exercise programs." Frankly, that interpretation did not occur to me. It seems much more plausible, as French goes on to suggest, that drinkers exercise more to compensate for extra caloric intake:

While those who are at risk for problem drinking should minimize or curtail their consumption of alcohol, light to moderate drinking may be health-enhancing for some people. If responsible drinkers are using exercise to partially counteract the caloric intake from alcohol, that is not such as bad thing.

Presumably French is alluding to the impact of moderate drinking on heart disease risk. That factor, together with the additional exercise, may help account for a finding of an earlier study by French: "Adults who drink moderately have the highest odds of reporting above-average health status compared with lifetime alcohol abstainers, former drinkers and all other current drinking groups."

The new study, published by the American Journal of Health Promotion, is available here (PDF).

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  1. Did the study control for marital status?

    Because if it didn’t, there’s your explanation right there.

    Single people exercise more, and then go out and go out to try to get laid at social events that involve drinking.

    Mystery solved.

  2. Good news to hear as I head out to gym followed by happy hour.

  3. Especially chicks, since the study talks about women who drink exercising 7.2 minutes more than those who abstained.

    Chicks get married, stop going out drinking, and quit the gym.

    Mystery solved.

  4. Does sustained bouts of dry-heaving and/or vomiting count as exercise? Because that could explain it, too.

  5. Chicks get married, stop going out drinking, and quit the gym.

    Someone should tell them that it’s a wedding ring, not a ripcord on an emergency life raft.

  6. Does sustained bouts of dry-heaving and/or vomiting count as exercise?

    Doesn’t burn a lot of calories, but it builds fantastic abs.

  7. Adults who drink moderately have the highest odds of reporting above-average health status compared with lifetime alcohol abstainers, former drinkers and all other current drinking groups.

    I would guess that is because tee-totallers tend to be uptight, leading stressful lives with few outlets, whereas if you drink you are more likely to enjoy life. Enjoying life is good for your health.

  8. Doesn’t burn a lot of calories, but it builds fantastic abs.

    So that’s where the phrase “six-pack abs” comes from.

  9. Yes, it was shortened from “six-pack of warm Natural Ice abs.”

  10. Enjoying life is good for your health.

    This is so often overlooked, especially when talking about what we consume.

  11. Variables that matter here: age, marital status, and (especially) the presence/absence of children.

    Even though I’m married and in my 30’s, I get a HELL of a lot more bar and gym time than anyone I know with children.

  12. So that’s where the phrase “six-pack abs” comes from.

    More like “half-rack” abs, and “fifth-of-Jack” abs.

    Speaking of drinking and exercise, I’ve found that if you add a little whiskey to that water bottle your workout goes by faster and is more enjoyable.

  13. That seems about right, actually. At the bar around 2AM, strap on the ol’ beer goggles and find a lovely to take home for about 7.2 minutes of “exercize”.

    (7.2 minutes if she’s lucky; am I right, fellas?)

  14. I can attest to the results. It takes me about 8 minutes longer to crawl back from the local bar than to walk, so I guess I’m among the above-average exercisers…

  15. Well being plastered is the only way I’ll ever set foot on a treadmill.

  16. “(7.2 minutes if she’s lucky; am I right, fellas?)”

    7.2 minutes? There’s something wrong with you.

    A real man can manage at least 7.3 minutes!

  17. (7.2 minutes if she’s lucky; am I right, fellas?)

    Sounds like a lot of work.

  18. Drunken dancing at the club, and the drunken fucking that ensues afterwards surely counts as exercise.

    However, I wonder if this drinking/exercise correlation is true for gays? They’re the only ones with a realistic possibility of sex at the gym, so maybe there’s less need to go out drinking afterwards?

  19. I used to enjoy drinking beer before lifting weights. In hindsight, drunk clean&jerks might not have been wise.

  20. Dagny,

    You’re assuming the gays haven’t already been drunk at least once pre-gym and have no intention of finding someone else to fuck at the afterparty.

  21. So that’s where the phrase “six-pack abs” comes from.

    Well, that explains my 40 oz abs.

    Fluff–It’s not so much marriage as kids that kills your gym time. DINKs are the same as single people to me.

    I manage 2-3 times per week if I’m lucky. I’m at about once per week now. Fortunately, I’m blessed with a moderately high metabolism that seems to be happy at 225 lb. Still could stand to lose the space-saver tire I’ve grown.

  22. Dag,

    They dance far more than any hetero guys, so it evens out. As for lesbians, well, they are less concerned with their figures. Complaining doesn’t burn the calories you might think.

  23. JW – get one of these fuckers and play with it in the back yard.

  24. Warty,

    It that some sort of primitive Sybian?

  25. “Is” stupid fingers, “IS”. Gah. Fuck!

  26. That is one of its many awesome uses, yes. It also makes a handy club.

  27. You’re assuming the gays haven’t already been drunk at least once pre-gym and have no intention of finding someone else to fuck at the afterparty.

    This is a good point. There are no glory hole mazes at the gym (that I know of), but there is one at a gay club in Seattle.

    As for lesbians, well, they are less concerned with their figures. Complaining doesn’t burn the calories you might think.

    And as an additional disadvantage, eating pussy probably burns a lot fewer calories than sucking dick.

  28. Re the French study mentioned: teetotalers in France are likely to be Muslims, hence have a different genetic profile and different culinary habits. Just a thought…

  29. Dagny, what’s the worst part about sucking dick – the taste of jizz, or getting crabs in your eyebrows?

  30. And as an additional disadvantage, eating pussy probably burns a lot fewer calories than sucking dick.

    This is reliable data coming from a skinny chick.

  31. Warty, the best part is that I don’t have to look at your face.

  32. the taste of jizz

    So. Diabetes comes from the Greek meaning sweet urine. This is because excess sugar that cannot be utilized is stripped off by the kidneys and flushed out through urine.

    Urine is not the only bodily fluid that the sugar is flushed out with.

  33. And as an additional disadvantage, eating pussy probably burns a lot fewer calories than sucking dick.

    But who will be our control groups for this grand experiment?

  34. I usually wear a plastic bag over my head anyway, Dagny.

  35. It seems much more plausible… that drinkers exercise more to compensate for extra caloric intake

    When I used to play racquetball regularly, I’d hear that a lot.

    After one extended rally left my opponent gasping on the floor, he looked up and said, “You know, I only do this so I can drink…”

  36. SugarFree, is that why we’re supposed to eat pineapple before getting a blowie?

  37. I usually wear a plastic bag over my head

    Don’t do that when you’re alone, dude. Call your batin-buddy. I’m sure Epi will rush right over.

  38. Urine is not the only bodily fluid that the sugar is flushed out with.

    I guess we’d have to ask Episiarch to confirm this.

  39. Havent these researchers ever had a mild hangover? The best remedies are going out for a run or swimming a few laps in a cold pool.

    Then once you’ve purged the aftereffects, you’re ready to start drinking all over again.

  40. batin-buddy

    Fuck no, only the finest Thai hookers for me.

  41. is that why we’re supposed to eat pineapple before getting a blowie?

    Supposedly. I’d like to see Mythbusters tackle this one.

  42. Re the French study mentioned: teetotalers in France are likely to be Muslims, hence have a different genetic profile and different culinary habits. Just a thought…

    The guys name is French. It is an American Study.

  43. Supposedly. I’d like to see Mythbusters tackle this one.

    With our luck, we’ll get the Time Warp guys.

  44. I do not want to see Grant making an “O” face.

  45. Dag,

    Your constant fantasy to see me and Epi go at it will never happen. I am all about the sculch.


  46. SugarFree | September 1, 2009, 3:22pm | #

    Chicks get married, stop going out drinking, and quit the gym.

    Someone should tell them that it’s a wedding ring, not a ripcord on an emergency life raft.

    kool aide, nose, exit

  47. “So that’s where the phrase “six-pack abs” comes from.”

    A can brag at being the proud owner of twelve-pack abs. 😉

  48. SF – he’s asian, hence he’s always making the O face.

  49. “Urine is not the only bodily fluid that the sugar is flushed out with.”

    I love it when you speak of yourself using first-person.

  50. Wow, I go to a meeting for a few hours and you’re all talking about me. I LOOM LARGE

    joe jokes aside,

    Your constant fantasy to see me and Epi go at it will never happen

    No shit. NutraSweet wants to dress up in chipmunk costumes, and, well, that’s just not cool.

  51. That’s not real Tony, is it?

  52. There’s a “real” Tony?

    Real holographic simulated evil Tony is BACK!!!

  53. So I was gone for a while, and I haven’t seen Tony since I got back to the Internet. Did Cesar come clean or something?

  54. No, Tony has just not been making much of an appearance as of late. I assume his creator has been busy with other projects.

  55. Well that’s a shame. After all, he looms pretty large around here.

  56. Where the hell is Cesar, anyway? I’ve been assuming he’s gone full time into mock trolling (it pays well), but I don’t actually know that.

    Maybe there was a real Tony once, but I tend to think he was a Cylon all along.

  57. Large Loomer is available as a cognomen.

  58. “It’s not a loomer!”

  59. No shit. NutraSweet wants to dress up in chipmunk costumes, and, well, that’s just not cool.

    For guys, no it isn’t.

    But for girls oh yes! How I loved Gadget from Rescue Rangers. Almost as much as Riff-
    Raff’s girlfriend Cleo (1 min in):
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5yxTkR5fZE&feature=PlayList&p=6BA07C49DE5244F3&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=29

  60. Everything Fluffy said is right…if they did not take into account marital status the study means nothing – and if you think marriage has an impact one excercsing and drinking wait till the kids arrive. Nothing stops exercised like a school age child. I managed – just took her along – until she went to school…then I had to be home for her to do homework and make dinner etc every night… no exercise for years – I took to riding my bike to work – that worked somewhat.

  61. Oh! and had about one beer while making dinner.
    – good micro brews by the way.

  62. Real voice of truth about six pack abs . really appreciative theory .

  63. really apprecitive like to make pack through this theory .

    http://trrill.com/truth-about-six-pack-abs/

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