Corporate Welfare

Mayor Bloomberg's Eight-Point Plan to Magically Transform New York into…a Media Capital?

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What was I saying about damn-fool ideas for governments to use our tax dollars on media? Here's a press release for ya: "Mayor Bloomberg announces eight initiatives to strengthen the media industry in New York City."

Reading the whole thing is like dunking your eyeballs in boiling vinegar; here's a semi-random selection of price-tagless bureaucratic barfola:

How'd that whole thing work out for ya, Time?

"Providing media and tech entrepreneurs and the academic and not-for-profit communities with access to companies looking to conduct innovative research, will ensure that New York City maintains its role as a leader in the global media and technology industries. Creating a Media Lab will enable the City's businesses to capture the growth in the digital and new media marketplaces," said WPP's Chief Executive Sir Martin Sorrell. […]

NYCEDC has created the Media Tech Bond Program to help companies purchase new manufacturing, research or production facilities, retrofit existing building to accommodate hi-tech servers, or make large IT purchases. […]

To increase opportunities for successful start-up companies in new media and encourage innovation in emerging sub-sectors, NYCEDC has established the Media and Tech Fellowship to be awarded to approximately 20 "rising star" media and technology entrepreneurs on an annual basis. Fellows will be provided with training, mentoring, networking opportunities with venture capital firms, and support services such as legal aid. […]

I vill sock your subsidies!

The Department of Information Technology and Telecommunications will encourage local start-ups and established firms to team up on bidding for City IT contracts, and promote other City contracting opportunities for start-ups. The Department of Small Business Services will administer a "Prepare for Success" program which is a package of services to assist and encourage start-ups companies to expand through government contracting. […]

"New York City has a wealth of independent media and tech talent that will benefit from access to resources that otherwise may have been prohibitively expensive or inaccessible," said Huffington Post Chief Executive Officer Eric Hippeau. "By creating new 'freelancer hives' targeted to specific sub-sectors within the industry, the City has created an environment where that community will have an opportunity to thrive, in spite of the difficult economic climate." […]

Totally rolling in his grave

"Making sure that our talented workforce has the tools necessary to keep pace with new media technology is one of the key challenges that traditional media outlets face," said Hearst Magazines President Cathie Black. "The City is taking an important step in addressing those needs through programs like JumpStart New Media, to retrain workers to provide them with new skills necessary to succeed in today's marketplace." […]

To keep it competitive within the global marketplace, and to increase representation among emerging international and domestic media players, the City, along with executives from New York City-based media enterprises, is embarking on a recruitment campaign in emerging markets across Asia and the Middle East, and in Silicon Valley and the greater Boston area.

You can start applying for all those government contracts and social-network loft spaces and retraining sessions and rising-star fellowships and tax-free bonds–or at least submit a username and password to a ghost site–here. You can also cry in the night.

Link via Romenesko. Reason on corporate welfare here.

NEXT: What Kind of Libertarian Are You?

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  1. In watching assorted morning newscasts it it clear that the women who report traffic conditions are drawn from the ranks of porn stars. That is the only possible explanation for the amount of collogen and cleavage available that early in the morning.

  2. Jeff P,

    There is no discernible difference between porn stars and news readers. None at all.

  3. I am so glad I got out of NYC just shortly into Bloomberg’s term.

  4. Funny, but I guess Seattle does seem like a libertarian paradise compared to New York City.

  5. That comma separating the subject from its predicate in the first quote was enough for me.

  6. . . .but with fewer porn stars.

  7. I always wanted to work in a hive. As long as it has the word “free” on it somwhere.

  8. Funny, but I guess Seattle does seem like a libertarian paradise compared to New York City.

    Not really, but it does feel much less…controlled. I saw shit at the gay pride parade a few weeks ago that the NYPD would never let slide.

  9. NYCEDC has created the Media Tech Bond Program to help companies purchase new manufacturing, research or production facilities, retrofit existing building to accommodate hi-tech servers, or make large IT purchases.

    Then I’m sure the surplus comma in this sentence also drove you crazy, Mr. JOYnalist.

  10. Less power, less abuse. It’s as simple as that. And Washington retains some fading vestiges of crazy Western individualism. Unlike the collectivist simplicity of the Northeast.

  11. Seems like all these new NYC services will help Bloomberg Media Services.

  12. encourage start-ups companies

    His grammars are fails.

    . . .but with fewer porn stars.

    Listen, ProL, I’m only one girl. I’m doing my best over here.

  13. Epi: I’ve always thought the microphone glut you see at a press conference always looks suspiciously like a lot of bukakke…

  14. I’ve been a freelance editor for several years. The publishing industry is leaving NYC for Austin and Boston/Worcester because doing anything in NYC is too expensive. Offers for freelance work have declined much in the past year. This year, I decided to start writing and to publish my own zine and website. It’s adult oriented, because my market research (based on the hits my videos got on youtube and xtube) showed that people would rather watch me masterbate than hear me talk about politics by a margin of 11,000 to 300. The local police in my suburb of NYC declined my application for a peddler’s license. That means I have to mail my zine to customers instead of hand delivering it. This in turn doubles the cost of making a print addition. If local politicians want encourage media development in NYC, they should stop dictating what content is allowed where. I mean, Montreal is 1/4 the size of New York City, and its thriving porn industry puts NYC to shame.

  15. “I saw shit at the gay pride parade a few weeks ago that the NYPD would never let slide.”

  16. As a purely job related note… that is a really shitty scan of that Hearst image. C- hack work. I’d beat my students with a garden hose if they tried to serve such shoddy product to a patron.

  17. Is that Danny DeVito next to the Terminator?

  18. You know that NYC is too expensive when media companies avoid the place.

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