Reason Morning Links

- Talks with creditors break down, Chrysler expected to file for bankruptcy.

- Federal Appeals Court Judge Bybee defends his signing of the torture memos.

- Britain ends combat operations in Iraq.

- DOJ calls for end to crack/powder cocaine sentencing disparity.

- War in Afghanistan moves to the poppy fields.

- Is the Internet running out of bandwidth?

Comments

[High Every Body]

Talks with creditors break down, Chrysler expected to file for bankruptcy.

So, we could have skipped all of that other crap and gone straight to this anyway? Unamazed.

[MNG]

In the interests of combining the news items, maybe Chrysler could save itself by including a year's supply of Afghan opium with every PT Cruiser?

[Randolph Carter]

Gee, I have this great idea... let's destroy the economic base of a teetering, failing totalitarian regime in the ass of nowhere! Then they'll thank us for ridding them of the scourge of drugs!

[Vines & Cattle]

So Chrysler gets bankruptcy and GM is owned by the government? What does GM have that Chrysler doesn't?

OnStar.

I'm officially into Dale Gribble territory.

[hmm]

Looks like we win the Iraq musical chair game and get the last seat and the privilege of staying. Weren't we supposed to be out of there soon? I swear someone said we were leaving Iraq in like say 6 months?

Chrysler should have gone bankrupt when Iacocca saved it the first time. We should have skipped the last 30 years and gotten rid of the company in 1979.

It's good to see we have decided to share the war on drugs with another country. We get a triple benefit with this expansion. We get to stop those nasty drugs, starve the locals thus pissing them off, and adding to the ranks of the people we are fighting. Fucking brilliant. Maybe they can grow corn for bio-fuels or plant windmills. Lets send Al Gore over to coordinate that effort, hell lets send Congress since they are doing such a great job of coordinating such things here. Of course they shouldn't take assault rifles since they are not police and not military, and we don't want to export such evil and vile things to those poor people.

You all need to work on more up beat morning links. Puppies, kittens, stupid memes, shit like that.

[hmm]

So Chrysler gets bankruptcy and GM is owned by the government? What does GM have that Chrysler doesn't?

More government contracts.

[brotherben]

If they used normal sized men for porn, bandwidth usage would be much less.

[SugarFree]

Fake boobies use up three times the bandwidth of a big penis.

Amateur porn will save the Internet.

[ed]

Is the Internet running out of bandwidth?

I hope not. How will I know if Britain's got talent?

[waddums]

But if the internet didn't have the huge, really huge, dripping throbbing penis... who would watch it?

[hmm]

Al Gore will make more tubes using bio fuel and wind power. There is no reason to fear, he has it covered.

[catMoze]

Wimax. Average speeds of 2-4 Mbps and peak speeds much faster. Move the tubes out of the wires into the air. Just get the govt out of the way.

[Xeones]

Vines & Cattle, you gave me a possibly awesome idea: Who Is Dale Gribble? t-shirts. On the back is a large, dead insect.

[T]

An analysis I read t'other day suggested some of Chrysler's bondholders did the math and figured out they would get more from a liquidation than the deal they were offered. If that's the case, why would they agree to a deal?

[Bob]

Peak Oil I can live with, but Peak Internet?! Oh crap.

[hmm]

That's exactly what the bond holders did. The risk of them getting paid period was also weighed. Better to let the company fail and enter court where the bond holders have definite position in line than risk another arrangement when the "other" category has a metric ton of unknowns.

Congress should pass legislation limiting the penis and breast size to save band width.

[shecky]

T,

Who is Randy Shackleford?

[P Brooks]

To offer an alternative to poppy farming, the American military is setting aside $250 million for agriculture projects like irrigation improvements and wheat cultivation.

Crop supports.

WooHoo!

[Vines & Cattle]

That's Rusty Shackleford, shecky.

[Pro Libertate]

Hey, off topic, but I ran across (on io9) a Star Trek promotion called "Trek Yourself", where you can upload photos and morph them into several Star Trek characters. You can also add speech and backgrounds.

I messed with it and posted a Mr. Spitz (He's a Vulcan steamroller), Captain Gillespie, and Mr. TechnoVulcan. I though Captain Gillespie would be of particular interest hereabouts, which is why I'm mentioning it.

One thing they screwed up on--no Orion Slave Girl character. Tsk, tsk.

[troy]

Bored, wired, and tired soldiers surround by large amounts of opium poppies. What could go wrong?

[P Brooks]

There is a story running around that bondholders who have CDS protection on their bonds need bankruptcy to collect.

The question I have is why would you do a debt for equity swap when there is a larger than zero chance that equity will end up worthless, eventually? Your chances in banruptcy court are better.

CNBC is running this story hard, but nobody has asked why we should be helping Chrysler and GM put Ford in the ditch.

[P Brooks]

Pro lib-

No Borg Geithner?

[Internet blowhard]

My understanding is that GM's bonds were covered by AIG issued credit default swaps and so there was no desire on the part of the bond holders to do a deal because if GM went bankrupt, they would receive the full face value of their bonds via CDS. I wonder if chrystler is the same way?

[Pro Libertate]

P Brooks,

Good point--the Borg would've been a nice addition, too. I guess there aren't any Borg in this stupid reboot, so no Borg option. I think it's just Kirk, Spock, Uhura, and that Romulan dude.

Disappointed!

[tekende]

no Orion Slave Girl character. Tsk, tsk.

I believe you're thinking of Star Wars.

[tekende]

I guess there aren't any Borg in this stupid reboot

Well, there wouldn't be. The Borg were first encountered on Next Generation, not the original series.

[High Every Body]

The Borg were first encountered on Next Generation, not the original series.

That's just what the writers want you to think.

[Pro Libertate]

tekende,

You are in error. First, Orion Slave Girls come from the first Star Trek pilot.

Second, the Borg made an appearance on Enterprise. In any case, I assumed there weren't any Borg in the new movie; I was just disappointed that I could make some custom Borgs based on various political figures.

[FrBunny]

Pro Lib is here to know Trek and chew bubblegum.

I don't see no more bubblegum.

[Pro Libertate]

Ah, FrBunny, the obligatory They Live reference. Well done.

[Don Mynack]

So, we've gone from negotiating with the Taliban to hand over Bin Laden before 9/11 (which they were willing to do), to going to war with the Taliban, which leads to war with tribes in Northern Pakistan, which leads to going to war with drug traffickers that may or may not be Taliban. Do we even freaking care about Bin Laden anymore?

[Hugh Akston]

Gee, I have this great idea... let's destroy the economic base of a teetering, failing totalitarian regime in the ass of nowhere!

A clarification if I may, Randolph. Are you referring here to the Afghanistan story or the Chrysler story?

[P Brooks]

Do we even freaking care about Bin Laden anymore?

Bin Laden's old news, man; unless you can convince the President he invented credit default swaps....

[P Brooks]

Actually, Paulson would be a better borg; considering the way he assimilated Ken Lewis.

And he *is* a product of the Hive Mind Goldman Sachs.

[tekende]

Second, the Borg made an appearance on Enterprise. In any case, I assumed there weren't any Borg in the new movie; I was just disappointed that I could make some custom Borgs based on various political figures.

Really? Huh. What bullshit. When the Enterprise-D crew first encountered the Borg, no one had any idea what they were, so that doesn't make sense. Eh, whatever, I personally don't consider Enterprise canon anyhow; I stopped watching that show after the second or third episode, due to the fact that it sucked. A lot.

[Pro Libertate]

tekende,

Canon? I don't like what they did with Enterprise or what they're about to do with the movie, but it is what it is.

All I wanted was a Borg character, canon be damned!

[Naga Sadow]

Pro Lib,

Resistence is futile! Accept the canon!

[R C Dean]

I got your canon right here.

[tugs self. swaggers off.]

[bubba]

Britain ends combat operations in Iraq.

I thought Obama was going to make Europe more cooperative.

[Nathan Callahan]

Re: Is the Internet running out of bandwidth?

"The term 'exaflood,' created by the same PR tank that crafted the term 'intelligent design,' is part of a sophisticated campaign aimed at convincing the press, public and lawmakers that without giving carriers what they want (less regulation, no net neutrality laws, no price controls, huge subsidies and tax credits, less consumer protection), the world will simply run out of bandwidth and we'll all be weeping over our clogged tubes."
- Karl Bode, Broadband
http://wapurl.co.uk/?Z0CML41

[hmm]

The US. Facilitating and supporting European (cough UN, cough NATO) nation building since, well for a long fucking time.

Come on. Someone has to do it. You know the EU isn't going to do it themselves. And those poor people can't run their own country, that would just be cruel.

[T]

And those poor people can't run their own country, that would just be cruel.

Do we have to pick up the white man's burden? I mean, 51% of us are women and we've got a black guy in charge now. Surely it's time for some other country to take this on.

[juris imprudent]

The Internet running out of bandwidth? The HORROR! 'baters will have to fall back to stills from streaming videos.

[TrickyVic]

"""To offer an alternative to poppy farming, the American military is setting aside $250 million for agriculture projects like irrigation improvements and wheat cultivation."""

That's a nice piece of pork barrel spending. Helps explain why defense spending is a trillion dollars every two years.