Oscars

Oscar Roundup '09: Nixon's Got Gams!

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Jerry Lewis finally got an Oscar—for his telethons? Every surviving auterist just threw up a little in his mouth.

Also, while I'm as pleased as anyone that Heath Ledger won Best Supporting Actor, surely he deserved a chance to pair it with the Academy's grandest prize: the Most Applause During The Death Montage award. You win, Paul Newman. But you won by forfeit.

Update: Yes yes yes, I know that Ledger was in the montage last year. In other news, I'm not really mad at Paul Newman.

The real reason I'm posting this update: to direct you all to the ineffable Oscar-night liveblog at the right-wing film site Big Hollywood, where you'll find this post from someone named Brett Joshpe:

Hmmm….why did Mickey Rourke win Best Actor in every other award ceremony besides this one? As I said, the Academy punished Mickey for his gratitude towards President Bush for keeping our country safe from Islamo-facist [sic] terrorism. Instead, it chose to award its biggest donkey, Sean Penn. I would looooove to debate Sean Penn and explain to him why his [sic] such an insufferable idiot and jackass.

I was cheering for Rourke too. The Wrestler is a great movie, and Rourke's performance was the best thing in it. But Hollywood conservatives have reached a new level of self-congratulatory victimization—we're talking The Ancient Egyptians Were Black Men Who Invented Airplanes levels of crazy—if they need a theory like that to explain why an orthodox biopic with a tamely liberal message beat an unconventional film made outside the studio system. (Meanwhile, another Big Hollywood contributor seems to believe The Dark Knight didn't get a Best Picture nomination because of its alleged pro-Bush politics, and not, say, because the middlebrows at the Academy felt insecure about honoring a superhero movie.)

Note: Joshpe headlined his comment "Sean Penn Makes Me Puke In My Mouth," which lends support to Graphite's charge that my post's opening paragraph concludes with an overplayed cliché. Chastened, I promise to throw that phrase under the bus, to kick it to the curb, or, if all else fails, to lose it in a perfect storm.

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  1. Surely I can’t be the only person who wished that Hugh Jackman would have brandished his Wolverine blades and ravaged the first few rows.

  2. 1) Ledger was in last year’s montage.

    2) I was hoping Jerry would do the bit where he can’t pronounce Jean Hersholt.

  3. Penn won for a movie I cannot stomach. Good for him.

  4. Penn won for a movie I cannot stomach. Good for him.

    I thought he went home empty handed on I Am Sam?

  5. Best comment of the night came from Dave Weigel: “Sean Penn’s two Oscars came at the expense of Mickey Rourke and Bill Murray. He is history’s greatest monster.”

  6. IMO the “threw up a little in my mouth” thing is played out. Honestly, who really does that?

  7. Best line of the night went to Will Smith who managed to get in “boom goes the dynamite”.

  8. Paul,

    Refer to Tropic Thunder’s Kirk Lazarus for answer to that.

  9. Graphite, agreed.

    Funniest/weirdest line of the night: “I’m proud to live in a country that has elected an elegant man for President”. – Sean Penn

    Is “elegant” a euphemism for “black”, or is Sean Penn excited about Obama’s fashion sense?

  10. IMO the “threw up a little in my mouth” thing is played out. Honestly, who really does that?

    That’s what she said.

  11. the Most Applause During The Death Montage award. You win, Paul Newman. But you won by forfeit.

    Ledger won it last year.

  12. Frak, the Captain beat me to it.

    Generally the broadcast sucked. Too many miscues, too many just simply bad ideas. The opening montage, however, was brilliantly conceived and executed. And damn funny.

    “I”M WOLVERINE!”

  13. unfortunately, I missed the ceremonies. I was somewhat displeased that out of the 6 awards for which it was nominated, Wall-E only won the Best Animated Feature award they pulled from a cracker jack box. Well, I’m sure the other movies that won awards were also triumphs of the human spirit and all that sort of thing. And yes, Sean Penn sure learned his lesson: “you never go full retard.” Good for you, Sean Penn. Whenever I see a commercial for “Milk” I always think it’s funny that they show him saying “I am here to recruit you!” I’m usually concerned that some paranoid homophobe will see that and misinterpret it somehow: “See? What did I tell you? I knew it all along!”

  14. I’m surprised “Got Milk?” has not yet been utilized.

  15. I’ve always thought Heath Ledger was an intolerable pretty boy douchebag. I’m glad he’s dead.

  16. Is bukkake Japanese for “Milk mustache”?

    Sorry.

  17. Kunio Kato – you are welcome sir, very welcome indeed.

  18. The Milk Oscar feels like Hollywood congratulating itself for getting a black elegant man elected president.

  19. Ben Stiller as Joaquin was the funniest moment of the show.

  20. I’ve always thought Heath Ledger was an intolerable pretty boy douchebag. I’m glad he’s dead.

    Why so serious?

  21. Ledger was in last year’s montage.

    I know! In other news, I’m not really mad at Paul Newman.

  22. “I’m proud to live in a country that has elected an elegant man for President”. – Sean Penn

    The lesson here is, if you oppose gay marriage as elegantly as Barack Obama, your grandchildren will not be ashamed.

  23. I’m perfectly happy having no idea what ya’ll are talking about. It might as well be BSG for all I care.

  24. If I knew nothing about BHO, but knew about all the movies and saw Sean Penn’s speech, I would have totally thought that elegant was a euphemism for gay. Is it just me?

  25. El Guas?n | February 23, 2009, 9:01am | #

    I’ve always thought Heath Ledger was an intolerable pretty boy douchebag. I’m glad he’s dead.

    Why so serious?

    Ok:

    I’ve always thought Heath Ledger was an intolerable pretty boy douchebag. I’m seriously glad he’s dead.

  26. As good as The Wrestler and Mickey Rourke were, he wasn’t really acting. He was essentially playing himself. Especially when judged by his Dog the Bounty Hunter goes to the ball outfit that he wore. Sean Penn and Frank Langella, in contrast, were acting as characters unlike themselves.

    The biggest ripoff of the Oscars is that comedies are never honored in any way. Action movies win the technical awards, but comedies get bupkus. IMHO, it’s harder to do a good comedy than the Very Serious Movies? that usually wins Oscars.

  27. Who is this “Oscar” of whom you speak?

  28. Is “elegant” a euphemism for “black”, or is Sean Penn excited about Obama’s fashion sense?

    There was a funny little montage awhile back demonstrating that Obama dresses exactly like Bush – dark suits, white shirts, and you can’t even tell their ties apart.

    So it must be the black thing.

  29. Mo,

    you sure Penn was ‘acting’ in roles unlike him? he looks like a semi-gayish retard when he is speaking in real life.

  30. Penn did an exceptional job as Harvey Milk. It was different sort of role than he usually plays, and he became the character. He richly deserves the award, much more than he did for “Mystic River,” which I always thought was at least part a “Let’s give Sean Penn an Oscar already” award.

  31. Not only is President Obama elegant, but he’s also clean and articulate.

  32. I thought the revisions to the Oscar telecast were dreadful, particularly the presentations of the nominees. Rather than a bunch of testimonials, how about showing a clip of the nominee in action? It seemed to me that if you didn’t know anything about the movies in question before the telecast, you weren’t any better informed at the end. Doesn’t seem like very good business sense to me.

    As far as I can tell, the only reason Sean Penn won was because “Slumdog” didn’t have a nominee in that category. I haven’t seen the movie yet–is it really as good as all that?

  33. Q: What’s got 6,000 legs and can’t walk?

    A: Jerry’s Kids.

  34. Head, you are so unconventional and hardcore! Gosh! Usually, one has to go to TMZ to encounter such levels of insight. Thanks for saving us all the trip.

    Jesse, a superb update.

  35. Can someone please tell me why conservatives believe ‘The Dark Knight’ compliments Bush politics? I’ve looked all over and still can’t find out why.
    Thanks in advance to those kind enough to tell me.

    Cheers.

    p.s.
    I haven’t seen any of those movies, so I guess now I’ll have to. Dammit.

  36. Can someone please tell me why conservatives believe ‘The Dark Knight’ compliments Bush politics?

    The argument is here. (Note: Linking to an argument does not constitute an endorsement of it…)

  37. Thank you, Mr. Walker.

    The argument is here. (Note: Linking to an argument does not constitute an endorsement of it…)
    Thanks for the link. And I hope no rational thinking individual would endorse the argument.

    This is horseshit!
    Like W, Batman is vilified and despised for confronting terrorists in the only terms they understand.
    Like a lot of Marvel comic book heroes, their misunderstood and vilified for being vigilante. This, as any clear thinking individual would understand, is a marketing theme to comic book nerds everywhere. Who are often misunderstood and “vilified” by their piers. Stan Lee wanted the stories to be relate to those who would buy the books. And making them unsung heroes who are often persecuted and vilified. It has nothing to do with GWB. Idiots.
    Like W, Batman sometimes has to push the boundaries of civil rights to deal with an emergency, certain that he will re-establish those boundaries when the emergency is past.
    Yeah, and in the film, Batman knew it was wrong and promised to destroy the privacy invading machine that he used. If conservatives, who constantly rail against the abuses of government, think that for one minute the government would roll back any civil rights violations, then they are dumber than I thought.

    And this takes it, That’s real moral complexity. And when our artistic community is ready to show that sometimes men must kill in order to preserve life;
    Only to find in the comments over at PJM we have this, The importance of life. Batman can’t take a life, which is also part of the message of Batman Begins, “Have you finally learned to do what is necessary?”. This is big struggle for Batman in The Dark Knight. However, at the end, Batman realizes that he can clean Gotham City without killing. Of course this is a bit of a naive message, but the larger point is that Batman values ALL life.
    Couldn’t a “naive” leftist find similarity by pointing out that Batman doesn’t have to kill to fight evil?

    And again, this is a common comic book hero theme. Superheroes usually don’t kill people. Even the bad guys.

    Seems to me that their just looking for something that isn’t there.
    I would invite them to look in my toilet, maybe they could see the future in my droppings from last nights tacos.

    Cheers.

  38. You know what, come to think of it… I do see a similarity between the WSJ’s image of GWB and Batman…

    Only that they are both the product of someone’s imagination.

    Cheers.

  39. What I thought was the most annoying is when Alicia Keyes kept pronouncing A.R. Rahman’s last name as Rockman. She did it at least twice. I guess celebrities can be elegant but not literate.

  40. Is it my imagination, or can I not comment on your personal Blogger blog?

    Anyway, consider yourself officially tagged for this:

    http://and-so-forth.blogspot.com/2009/02/15-most-significant-albums-in-my-life.html

    but preferably on the other blog…

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