Announcing the Reason Personal Stimulus Generator! You May Qualify For Up To $350 Billion!

As the government gets set to spend nearly $800 billion to stimulate the economy, make sure to get your fair share of the plunder by participating in Reason's Personal Stimulus Generator™.

It only takes a minute and will be worth billions! Share with friends, family, complete strangers, and members of Congress!

Answer a few simple questions and you'll get a specific earmark—the only one in the whole bill, we promise!—written directly into the legislation. Suitable for framing, it also makes a wonderful gift for you grandchildren, your grandchildren's grandchildren, and everyone else who will be paying off the cost of the stimulus.

Click here to get in on the spoils!

Comments

[R C Dean]

As the government gets set to spend nearly $800 billion to stimulate the economy,

Bzzt. Wrong. This is a $3.2T bill, according to the Congressional Budget Office.

C'mon, Reason, don't make me threaten to ask questions and post them on YouTube.

[Pro Libertate]

Cute. If only we weren't doomed by this bill and its many successors to come.

[Xeones]

That picture is terrifying.

[Curious George]

RC Dean is right. Why notget the numbers right. And how about describing how this compares to the drunken spending spee of Bush's last year so the readers get to see how crazy these viagara bills really are. No wonder Obama needs them so.

[Naga Sadow]

But Pro Lib, this bill will stimulate the economy to new heights. Surely we can pay for it with the profits generated.

[Naga Sadow]

Curious George,

Quit smokin doobies! Druggie!

[RL]

If the government is so committed to spending money, wouldn't the simplest way to return to the boom of fall 2007 be to simply have each person send the government documentation as to what he was worth then and what he's worth now, and have the government cut them a check for the difference?

[Pro Libertate]

I'm adequately stimulated without the federal government's help, thank you very much.

[Naga Sadow]

Pro Lib,

What if your congressman threw in some pork to create clones of Mrs. Liberate? Could you sign off on the bill then?

[Pro Libertate]

One Mrs. Libertate is great--I don't need any more.

You'd think that with this fiscal crisis (the crisis is the government's, not the economy's--we'd be past this recession before too much longer if the government would stop messing with everything and may be despite it), we'd be dramatically cutting spending, reducing taxes, and rationalizing the regulatory framework. Only a power-hungry buffoon would claim that all of the federal regulations are necessary, consistent, or not needlessly burdensome.

We're in real danger of having a default or some other kind of entirely governmentally created disaster. Real reform is needed. Not this bullshit Hope and Change? crap, but real reform. If we had anyone with character and real concern about America's future in the White House, we'd be hearing about that. But we don't, and we haven't.

[Mark]

Wow! My dog Heather just secured $350B for treats! Think I'll take tomorrow off!

[Orange Line Special]

That's cute! Let's look at the ways Reason has tried to stop a trillion dollar theft:
1. They made a cute video.
2. They made a cute form.
3. They posted a few dozen blog posts that few outside their circle read.

Meanwhile, Reason has not interest in highly effective way to block or modify the stimulus.

If they were actually getting a cash payment directly from Obama to act as part of his feckless opposition, would Reason have done things any differently?

[John]

No one scorns goldbugs more than me. But for the first time in my life, I am actually starting to think things are going to get bad enough for the gold bugs to have a point. The end result of all of this is going to be inflation and the destruction of the dollar.

[Gustav]

Orange Line Special,

Why do you keep coming here?

[domoarrigato]

Yet another sign of the Apocalypse

[Urkobold?]

THERE ARE ALTERNATIVE TYPES OF ECONOMIC STIMULUS.

[Warty]

Lonewacko, did you see Jesse's question to you yesterday? I'd love to hear YourAnswer.

Oh, and shut the fuck up.

[Dan O]

"THERE ARE ALTERNATIVE TYPES OF ECONOMIC STIMULUS."

To reiterate, go crawl back into the third-world sewer you crawled out of you taintless bottom-bitch.

[Esoomnier]

Reason is always so down on Obama and the Democrats, but you never heard a peep out of them about GW Bushitler or the runaway Republican congress! They and their readers are really just Republican shills in libertard clothing!

[Reinmoose]

Sorry, that was me. I just thought I needed a drink.

[Lamar]

What do you think of Judd Gregg removing himself from the Commerce Secretary nomination?

[Xeones]

Reinmoose, Dan O needs the drink.

[Yellow Line Special]

Reason articles on stimulus and bailouts for Orange Line Special

[Tim Cavanaugh]

FWIW, here's LoneWacko's highly effective anti-stimulus strategy, followed by the spewing-out-the-lukewarm clause you always get with the LoneWacko:

If you want to stop the stimulus plan, the most effective way is to publicly embarrass one of its nationally-known supporters on video by asking them a series of tough, "prosecutorial-style" questions. When uploaded to Youtube and similar sites, that video would get hundreds of thousands or millions of views. It would have an impact on the career of the person who was asked those questions, and it would send a message to the others.

[snip]

UPDATE: Unfortunately, those who get enough traffic to make something like this work are just paper tigers (e.g., Glenn Reynolds), or do things in the wrong way (e.g., Melanie Morgan). Please take the time to write a major blogger, such as Instapundit, and suggest that they actually do something for a change.

It's not a bad idea, but it's not going to stop the stimulus. El Juaquo Solo would do better to hire actual flacks and lobbyists than to keep pestering bloggers. If the majority of Americans can't stop the Stim, I don't see why he thinks bloggers can.

[Abner McGillicuddy]

Meanwhile, Reason has not interest in highly effective way to block or modify the stimulus.

No, I don't think STOPTHEMEXICANS is going to help right now.

If you're so effective at askingtherightquestions how come I've necver heard of you anywhere but here?

[Orange Line Special]

1. I just responded to Jesse Walker here.

2. If Julio had asked BHO a real question about the stimulus - one like the first one in the comment at the previous link - it would have shown that BHO hasn't thought through the plan, and it would have been linked by Drudge. It would cost the plan several points of support and would at the least have forced a few changes. The problem is that the only people who ask questions are like Julio, while those who can come up with real questions are hiding under their desks.

[Abner McGillicuddy]

Gee willickers, El Solo Loco, this is the evil Kenyan genius who fooled everyone into believing that he's a NATURALBORNCITIZEN.

Why, that's way more genius than anything Darth Cheney ever did.

Goddamn pussy wimp republicans got nothing on Lord Obama.

Bow before your leader, pitiful minions.

Bwahahahahahahaha

[Doctor C]

I'd much rather see you ask JimRob over at Free Republic some questions regarding that site's funding, OLS. Not holding my breath, though ...

[J sub D]

LoneWhackoff,
STFU!

[FrBunny]

Unfortunately, those who get enough traffic to make something like this work are just paper tigers

How does site traffic have anything to do with it? If it would be so viral once it hits YouTube (it wouldn't), then why does it need to be backed by Big Blogger?

[Tim Cavanaugh]

What do you think of Judd Gregg removing himself from the Commerce Secretary nomination?

Using El Juaquo Solo's yardstick, it's worthless because it won't stop the stimulus. I also don't know what new principle he's discovered, given his role in the previous $700 billion home invasion by thugs. But at least he's not going along any further, I guess.

[Basement Dweller]

When you generate the HTML page, you seem to have forgotten to call stripSlashes($str). My favorite show America's Next Top Model appeared as America\\'s Next Top Model.

[John Thacker]

So, both Rasmussen and Gallup seem to confirm-- Obama's personal popularity is helping to sell the stimulus. Both show about a 7 point jump in support for the bill since he started his charm offensive. Granted, he is spending a little bit of his personal capital already, as his personal ratings are bit down too from people who voted for him but aren't convinced about the stimulus. (Perhaps a few Reason staffers and contributors on that list, hmm?)

[Paul]

Special Oranges make my head hurt.

[Marc]

Chris Kelly, STFU!

[Douglas Gray]

At 3.2 Trillion, that is almost $11,000 per person.

Why not just send everyone a check for $10,000-$11,000 and let them spend it the way they want to?

Even at around $900,000,000 we'd still all get about $3,000.

Even if we save a portion, that gives banks some money to lend out.

[Doctor C]

Nah, that means campaign donors wouldn't get any more than the rest of us.

[P Brooks]

What if we ask the ObamaGurl questions about Keynesianism and post it on youtube?

[jcrue]

Is dissent still patriotic?

[BDB]

STFU Chris Kelly!

[Pro Libertate]

jcrue,

Depends who you're dissenting against. I believe it's still okay to hate Citizen Bush.

[Sweating Through Fog]

Near as I can tell, almost all provisions of the bill are designed to aid "families" like Nadya Suleman's. This bill needs a name.
The Octomom Stimulus Bill of 2009

[Naga Sadow]

What's up with Dan O?

[Pro Libertate]

He's a regular trying to pick a fight with the Urkobold. That's where my money is. Maybe it's joe, snapping after one of Obama's daily betrayals, taking on the identity of Danno from Hawaii Five-O. He must desire to be taint free, I guess.

[Chad]

Douglas Gray | February 12, 2009, 5:57pm | #

At 3.2 Trillion, that is almost $11,000 per person.

Why not just send everyone a check for $10,000-$11,000 and let them spend it the way they want to?

Even at around $900,000,000 we'd still all get about $3,000.

Even if we save a portion, that gives banks some money to lend out.

The portion going to the banks is a loan, and 40% of the 800 billion is tax cuts. So it is more like:

Giving everyone an $8000 loan
Giving everyone $1200
Spending $1800 per person

The other day, Republicans put out a list of the worst "pork" in the Senate bill, totaling around $30 billion, or $100 per person. After looking at it for a few minutes, I decided that I would over-whelmingly prefer to have the things on that list rather than a new pair of shoes and a dvd, which is what I would buy if you gave me a hundred bucks and told me to spend it tomorrow on something other than necessities. I think the Republican conception of "pork" has been pretty much reduced to "anything the government could or should provide".

[Douglas Gray]

Hey everyone!! Get a load of Putins comments about State intervention in the economy and how useless it is!! This guy sounds like he knows what he is talking about. Maybe amend the Constitution so he can be our Pres.

"Russian Prime Minister Vladamir Putin has said the US should take a lesson from the pages of Russian history and not exercise "excessive intervention in economic activity and blind faith in the state's omnipotence".
"In the 20th century, the Soviet Union made the state's role absolute," Putin said during a speech at the opening ceremony of the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland. "In the long run, this made the Soviet economy totally uncompetitive. This lesson cost us dearly. I am sure nobody wants to see it repeated."
Sounding more like Barry Goldwater than the former head of the KGB, Putin said, "Nor should we turn a blind eye to the fact that the spirit of free enterprise, including the principle of personal responsibility of businesspeople, investors, and shareholders for their decisions, is being eroded in the last few months. There is no reason to believe that we can achieve better results by shifting responsibility onto the state."

[Mik Robertson]

Go Putin!

[Craig]

If only the part about my "Representative" being thrown out of the House of "Representatives" were true....

He voted for the first stimulus/ripoff, even after his constituents asked him not to at a rate of 8 to 1.

What's the point of complaining to him again?

And why did the clueless residents of my district reelect him anyway?

[The Wine Commonsewer (you can]

Bzzt. Wrong. This is a $3.2T bill, according to the Congressional Budget Office.

Bzzt. Wrong.

That brings the total obligation of the combined bailout to 9.7 Trillion, per Bloomberg.

Enough to pay off 90% of the mortgages in the US or to pay 1400.00 samolians to every living person on the planet.

And you wonder why I drink?

[Naga Sadow]

FUCK!!! The goddamn fucking Commies get it and our representatives in Congress don't get it? FUCK!!!

doooom!

DooooooooM!!

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Inspired by Warren

[LarryA]

Meanwhile the City Council of Kerrville, Texas, (pop 20K) and the County Court of Kerr County (another 15K) are dusting off all the old wouldn't-it-be-nice projects no one local wants to pay for. "We don't think the stimulus is a good idea, but we'd be stupid to pass up our cut."

"Our cut," at a couple K per, is $70 million. Let the good times roll.

I decided that I would over-whelmingly prefer to have the things on that list rather than a new pair of shoes and a dvd, which is what I would buy if you gave me a hundred bucks and told me to spend it tomorrow on something other than necessities.

I presume you're counting another case of ammo as a "necessity."

[Isaac Bartram]

But Pro Lib, this bill will stimulate the economy to new heights. Surely we can pay for it with the profits generated.

Of course, growth will pay for it. Just like it will pay for Social Security and Medicare. I know, some Blue booster told me.

You libertarians just aren't taking the long view. 🙂

[Pro Libertate]

lib?er?tar?i?an /?l?b?r?t??ri?n/

-noun
1. a person who advocates liberty, esp. with regard to thought or conduct.
2. a person from the only political class that doesn't want to take your money to pay for stuff you don't want or need.

[James Ard]

Lamar, The Gregg nomination was an attempt to get another Democratic senator. When Gregg secured a Republican replacement, Obama/Clinton changed his mind.

[.netninja]

Obama's brother finally get's his LOL

[Kant feel Pietzsche]

@Douglas Gray | February 12, 2009, 10:53pm

The main problem with your theory is that immediately after Putin's upbraiding of "western" leaders for interventionism, the news broke that the FSB (successor to KGB)would be placing functionaries in all major Russian corporations and financial institutions(in order to "monitor" and "observe").

BTW, I intend to spend my stimulus earmark of $37B for the best use of taxpayer money I could think of: bribing Congressmen to ignore lobbyists and party lines, and actually adhere to the Constitution.

[Kolohe]

I'm a little disappointed; I thought this would keep a running list of everyone's contributions.

I'm a little disappointed too;I thought there would be comments after 4:35pm.

Are you homos all celebrating Valentine's Day with your "life partners" or something?

[zoltan]

If there are any homos here they would surely be doing something far more fabulous than this on Valentin's Day.

[Ben]

Go left wingers! 🙂

[Ron]

Larry A: Unlike the hypocrites in the town of Kerrville, where I seriously doubt more than two people voted for Obama, my little town of 900 in Vermont (name withheld) appears to be in line for $500,000 worth of "civic improvements". We may be thieves, but we're not hypocrites: Vermont went 67% for Obama. To the victor belong the spoils!

[economist]

"To the victor belong the spoils!"

I just love democracy in action, don't you?

[zoltan]

You should see how many people in Kerr County voted for Huckabee.

[bruce]

the judd gregg thing was planned in advance by senator gregg. it's like when a teacher asks a question in class, and a hand goes up...

"yes, mr. gregg?"

"i have no idea what the answer is, but i love hearing you talk, and i'm trying to stall the lesson long enough so that my party can undermine you and eventually regain control."

[TG]

The fix is in. People voted for anything but more of the same and now we will see what even worse looks and feels like. The feds are now printing up a lot of dollars to hand out for free to all who are deserving. And the chumps can continue to work fulltime or even two jobs producing all the goods and services that the deserving will buy with their freshly-printed dollars. This is how we get to the utopia of the future where 99% of people will have a life of leisure and relaxation (if low expectations) and 1% of people work like crazy to support everybody else in return for a slightly nicer lifestyle when they aren't working. Yes, that is surely genius!

[jersey]

don't make me threaten to ask questions and post them on YouTube.

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