Friday Funnies

A closer look at the stimulus bill

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  1. I didn’t think this one was bad, but I have an alternative anyway.

  2. So the stimulus package feels stimulated? Is that it? Stantis needs a refresher in meta-comedy.

  3. yo, baked penguin is funnier than all the friday funnies put together.

  4. OMGosh thank God its Friday! Its about time!

    RT
    http://www.internet-privacy.us.tc

  5. Even Anonymity Guy is funnier than the Friday Funnies. Unintentionally, but there you have it.

  6. Stantis needs a refresher in meta-comedy.

    No, you fool! If you give him a refresher, he might make more!

    Besides, does it get more succinct than this?

  7. Thank goodness for the dialogue!

    I would have been totally lost if that pig on the left hadn’t said that.

    I’d be all, like, “Huh? Why are those two giant pigs drooling on the Capitol?”

  8. So the stimulus package feels stimulated? Is that it?

    That’s what I got out of it. And then there’s another unidentified pig standing next to it.

    I know what the message is SUPPOSED to be (the stimulus package is full of pork), but it’s not communicated by the comic

    FAIL!

  9. Big, long, extended LoL, Baked Penguin!

  10. You Said “big, long, and extended”.

  11. Funny as a fresh case of herpes.

  12. You know, LMNOP, you remind me of my father.

  13. -Okay, here’s your setup-

    Giant drooling pig.

    Taxpayer (pants around ankles).

    Obama (in Uncle Sam suit).

    GWB (operating hand-crank movie camera).

    *****

    Write me some dialogue.

  14. You know, LMNOP, you remind me of my father.

    I’m not quite sure how to take that.

  15. Write me some dialogue.

    [Uncle Sam Obama screwing the Taxpayer]

    [GWB turns to Giant Drooling Pig and says]: Patience – it will be your turn soon enough.

  16. I’m not quite sure how to take that.

    My father was…a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn’t like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. Turns to me and he says “Why so serious?” Comes at me with the knife,”Why so serious?” He sticks the blade in my mouth. “Let’s put a smile on that face!” And…why so serious?

  17. I subscribe to the dead tree version of Reason. I got a solicitation in the mail this week. Apparently Reason is operating at a loss, and they need to fine $200k+ per issue or close their doors for ever.

    I’m not sending you any more money, but here’s a way you can find some. Stop paying for the Friday Funnies and Steve Chapman. You can replace them with pictures of dead kittens.

    Your welcome

  18. Write me some dialogue.

    The taxpayer looks back at the pig and says, “You know, you remind me of my father.”

  19. Your welcome

    You’re Welcome

  20. The Pig says “My wife is a slut”

  21. And…why so serious?

    You know what I’ve noticed? Nobody panics so long as everything goes according to plan. Even if the plan is horrific…

  22. Nobody panics so long as everything goes according to plan.

    Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just…do things. The mob has plans, the cops have plans, Congress’ got plans. You know, they’re schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I’m not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are.

  23. I love plans!


  24. Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars.

    You know, on a meta note (heh), that speech got me thinking last time I saw TDK about the possible levels of veracity in that statement.

    I mean, after all the Joker *obviously* plans things. He plans his capture and escape from the holding block with diabolical precision, among other things. However, most of his plans can be classified as merely clever inversions of other people’s plans (such as the police’s plan to incarcerate him, in the above example). Are we to understand his point to be that he doesn’t have a meta-plan? Or doesn’t have an original plan? Or that he’s a nutball spouting neat-sounding gibberish? After all, that scene is a crucial point of psychological manipulation of another major character. But then again, that manipulation is *part of his plan* too, as he says later.

  25. LMNOP, The Joker says whatever he needs to to achieve his ends. We know he is a pathological liar, as evidenced by his differing versions of how he got his scars. While his aim seems to be the creation of chaos, that doesn’t necessarily mean he can’t use planning to achieve that.

    So when he claims to not have a plan, we can pretty much ignore that just like we ignore the claims of how he got his scars. It’s all about manipulation.

  26. I think you can interpret the Joker’s words to mean that he has no plan for order. The government, the mob, etc. all have plans that involve a certain order to things. The Joker’s plans don’t revolve around a preferred alternative order, but rather no order.

  27. Epi —

    It’s a tempting conclusion, but I tend to think it’s a little more substantial than “he’s lying”. With the exception of his lies about the scars, all of the verifiable lies he tells in the movie are inversions rather than fabrications. I personally prefer to take “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are” at face value, because it doesn’t exclude the notion of planning in a tactical sense, but seems to best match his actions of inverting and subverting the structures and plans of others.

  28. at first i’m like “oh man they’re talking about comics again” but then i think “at least it’s not another seven hundred comments about battlestar galactica.”

    seriously you guys watch too much tv.

  29. seriously you guys watch too much tv.

    Well, not for nothing, but TV has gotten quite a bit better lately.

    BSG, Lie to Me, Damages, Lost, etc.. They didn’t *have* shit this good when I was growing up.

    I mean, even escapist fluff like The Legend of the Seeker knows how to lay on the fan-service.

  30. I personally prefer to take “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are” at face value, because it doesn’t exclude the notion of planning in a tactical sense, but seems to best match his actions of inverting and subverting the structures and plans of others.

    I think he says whatever he feels like saying that gets him what he wants and entertains him. He’s more of a force than a person. Think of Loki as an inspiration for him.

  31. OK, I gave TDK a second chance this week, and I still give it only one lazy thumb up.

    It completely deflates at the point when the Joker is arrested by Gordon, then takes its sweet-ass time pumping back up.

    Better than most action movies and this year’s Oscar-bait? Yes. Better than Iron Man? No sir.

    And two major distractions: Can someone please get the Batman a lozenge, and why on earth are Gotham’s two most eligible bachelors fighting over a girl who looks like Droopy Dog?

  32. and TDK isn’t TV, duh.

    Elemenope –
    I watched Lie to Me this week and thought it was week. It felt a lot like a mixture of Numbers and NCIS. Network TV just keeps up with the formula that’s worked for them for years: Bones, NCIS, CSI, Lie to Me, Cold Case, Numbers… they’re all the same show.

    Damages, on the other hand, is brilliant.
    But don’t talk about this week’s episode because I’m watching on Hulu and am therefore a week delayed.

  33. Anyone seen Nancy Pelosi lately? She’s positively giddy with stimulation.
    Somebody got the Queen-Size Stimulato Plus? (double-ended!) for Christmas.

  34. Can someone please get the Batman a lozenge

    He’s disguising his voice…it being a recognizable one and all.

    …and why on earth are Gotham’s two most eligible bachelors fighting over a girl who looks like Droopy Dog?

    And now he takes gratuitous shots at Maggie G. “Man, commenters used to have standards here. They used to believe in things…”

    I watched Lie to Me this week and thought it was weak. It felt a lot like a mixture of Numbers and NCIS.

    I get that. I like it more for the characterizations. The stuff about lying is just gravy. Kind of like House is interesting because of Dr. House; if you watch it for the medicine, you’re better off just doing ER.

    Damages, on the other hand, is brilliant.
    But don’t talk about this week’s episode because I’m watching on Hulu and am therefore a week delayed.

    Oh, me too. You’re safe there.

  35. He’s disguising his voice…it being a recognizable one and all.

    So you would defend it equally if he disguised it by doing a Gilbert Godfrey impression? I get the why; that doesn’t change the fact that it was distractingly ridiculous.

  36. Better than Iron Man? No sir.

    Is this a joke? Iron Man, while not terrible, was completely mediocre. It gave you nothing to think about whatsoever.

    …and why on earth are Gotham’s two most eligible bachelors fighting over a girl who looks like Droopy Dog?

    And now he takes gratuitous shots at Maggie G. “Man, commenters used to have standards here. They used to believe in things…”

    First of all, I think FrBunny is a she, and secondly, FrBunny is right.

    Bones, NCIS, CSI, Lie to Me, Cold Case, Numbers… they’re all the same show.

    They’re called “police procedurals” and they are a scourge. Boring beyond belief, and they glorify pigs on top of it. The only cop show worth a damn is The Shield.

  37. I think I’ve concluded that Bale makes for an excellent Bruce Wayne, but a very silly Batman.

    Yes, the voice is really distracting, but I’m not sure how else they could accomplish it.

  38. The only cop show worth a damn is The Shield.

    Life is pretty damn good.

  39. [Iron Man] gave you nothing to think about whatsoever.

    I agree with you 100% and still say it was one of the best movies of the year. Pure fun for two hours, which is what I want from a theater. I’ll keep watching The Reader or Doubt on the couch.

    I think I’ve concluded that Bale makes for an excellent Bruce Wayne, but a very silly Batman.

    Well put. As Bruce, he’s great.

  40. Pure fun for two hours, which is what I want from a theater. I’ll keep watching The Reader or Doubt on the couch.

    It wasn’t even that fun. Jon Favreau should stick to mildly entertaining shit like Swingers.

  41. It wasn’t even that fun.

    That’s it. I’m officially not inviting you to go see Wolverine with me. 🙂

    Meh. To each his own. I’d watch IM ten times before I ever sat through anything by Kubric, Kevin Smith, or Guy Richie again.

    And if I watch one more goddamn biopic, it better be about me.

  42. Not even Lock, Stock, et c?

    *winces*

  43. I was one of the few that didn’t see Iron Man in the theaters, but I thought it was a pretty good film. I expected more from it given its box office receipts though. Jeff Bridges, toward the end of it, was hilarious though.

  44. um,

    The Wire is also a good police show.

    The Joker plans better than anyone could ever really plan.

    I just saw ‘Lie to Me’, it was crap.

    The batman girl, while not a stunner, is not ugly, and she is interesting. Batman is attracted to her because of their history. So is the other dude. It happens.

    That this thread is 39 comments about batman, is better than this thread being 39 comments about how much the cartoon sucks.

    The joker poster about the bailout is the awesome.

  45. Jeff Bridges is so much better as a bad guy, or as a comic. As a good guy he is a self righteous prick, and a misguided one to boot.

  46. I’d watch IM ten times before I ever sat through anything by Kubric

    You can’t be serious. Kubrick is a fantastic filmmaker. Not all his movies are great but he was extremely talented.

    Kevin Smith sucks ass.

  47. I thought Full Metal Jacket had its moments (“That word is poon-tang.”), but 2001 was mind-numbingly terrible, as was Eyes Wide Shut. Clockwork was utterly forgettable.

    I realize how much I’m in the minority on this, so I’ll agree that if the quality of art can be assumed through a consensus of informed observers, I’m wrong about Kubric.

    Except that I’m not. 🙂 At least we agree on Smith.

  48. And here I thought that Katie Holmes had just let herself go. So, she’s still hot? She didn’t go through with the jowl transplant surgery?

  49. I can’t stand Kubrick. Full Metal Jacket was the only thing he ever made worth anything and I watched half his shit in film class for free. My professor was sucking his cock the whole semester. So I had to sit through every three hour long piece of mind-numbing shit or fail the class. It was torture just like the eyes held open scene from A Clockwork Orange.

    Conversely, we only watched clips of other really well made movies like The Color Purple and Jaws.

    And fuck all of you. Mallrats is a classic.

  50. Mallrats was funny once. Then Smith made Mallrats like five more times. That level of hackery retroactively taints the original.

    And to be more specific in my Smith vitriol: If you removed the names from the script, there would be absolutely no way to even guess who was saying what. Every character makes the exact same jokes in the exact same way in the exact same voice, a la The West Wing.

  51. Oh, come on, Kubrick was great. Paths of Glory, Dr. Strangeglove, 2001, The Shining, A Clockwork Orange–all good. I also liked Full Metal Jacket and–though it was only partially Kubrick–Spartacus.

    Kevin Smith is a joke.

  52. So is BakedPenguin the official Friday Funnies cartoonist for Hit & Run? If not, why?

  53. Every character makes the exact same jokes in the exact same way in the exact same voice, a la The West Wing.

    Or NYPD Blue. I swear, the baby, the gay guy, and the kid from Silver Spoons all talked exactly like Sipowitz.

  54. I mean, even escapist fluff like The Legend of the Seeker knows how to lay on the fan-service.

    Have you ever read the books that show is based on? They’re a series called “The Sword of Truth.” Their author, Terry Goodkind, is an objectivist, and that comes through a lot, especially in the later books.

    They’re exceptional books, with great, Randian philosophical undertones. Highly recommended.

    Of course I should add that, as these things usually go, I can’t even watch the shows. Not only do they butcher the storyline, they completely omit Goodkind’s philosophy. Which is the thing that made them great, rather than just good.

  55. Something new in my heart.

    I’m going to
    believe that
    everything shines
    in the light
    of a footprint,
    with a loving
    desire, in the
    sound of the
    darkness…..

    Francesco Sinibaldi

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