I Pledge…


"….to be a servant to our president"?  Really?

The creep factor climaxes at the 3:54 mark.

Via Will Wilkinson.

NEXT: Inauguration Open Thread

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  1. I got no time today Radley. Unless breatfeeding is going to happen at 3:54. Then I’ll make time. In about two hours from now that is.

  2. Holy crap. “servant”?

    With thunderous applause….

  3. I pledge to spend the next 4 or 8 years drunk and non-productive, only taking a booze break to drink water out of a plastic bottle, which I carried home from the grocery store in a plastic bag, made by slave labor.

  4. I pledge I will stop the motor of the world.

  5. I swear this shit is going to make me physically ill.

  6. I’m amused by the guy who promises to stop flushing the toilet after he pees.

    Of course, he does not live with me. If he did, I’d give him a swirlie in the smelly, unhygenic messes he created.

  7. I couldn’t stand to watch the whole thing all the way through.

  8. I pledge to put more squirrels in my ass than any other man would dare to dream. That’s change you can count on, libtards!

  9. Who is Johnathan Reale?

  10. I plan to only have my gas guzzling, smog belching ’72 El Camino fixed with parts I buy from WalMart, made by slave labor.

  11. I pledge…to read newspapers, and repeat what I read on TV as if it’s my own opinion!

  12. Was that Alyssa Milano promising to love more and be of service to mankind? YES SHE CAN!

  13. As long as Bush was president I had to kick puppies and steal food from poor children. Now that there is a president I like I can finally be a good person.

  14. I pledge to buy a few guns and learn how to use them.

  15. Caudill- icious!

    That part where we find that Obama’s picture is made up of little boxes of celebrities is like the cover to my paperback of Hobbes’s Leviathan.

  16. I pledge daily…and that’s why my home is dust free!

  17. Nice motion design.

    However, Hollywood can just jump up its own ass and die.

    Especially P-Diddy and his fucking turning the lights off.

    I’ve been doing that my whole life, you fucking bitch.

  18. If I do decide to pledge, do I have to bounce around, shuffle my feet and tilt my head back and forth. Watching the first half with the mute on, I thought it was a celebrity hokey-pokey.

  19. I pledge to place freedom ahead of rhetoric, liberty before politics, and defiance ahead of blind adherence.

  20. I pledge to be greedy, gun owning bastard, that pollutes the environment, kicks puppies, advocates unpopular ideas like personal responsibility, and does anything else possible to piss-off throngs of mindless Obamabots.

  21. Isn’t the President supposed to be OUR servant?

  22. “Ask not what Obama can do for you–ask what you can do for Obama.”

  23. Polluting the environment isn’t a libertarian position you reactionary fucks, neither is advocating “slave labor.”

    Personally I pledge to keep doing what I’ve been doing; looking out for myself and my friends, working to improve my own life and hopefully have a positive impact on people that I come in contact with.

    Seriously, defining your own viewpoints as the opposite of the other guy is for partisan hacks.

  24. “Isn’t the President supposed to be OUR servant?”

    Not when he is black, that would be racist.

  25. Hmm, not a single one of them pledged to give someone a job.

    “Weeble wobble, weeble wobble, one of us, one of us.”

  26. Bingo – since you’re apparently too retarded to get it, please either grow a sense of humor or a brain.

  27. I promise to kick a puppy every day until we have national health care.
    I was already doing this, but now at least I have a reason.

  28. I pledge that celebrities are full of shit.

  29. Personally I pledge to keep doing what I’ve been doing; looking out for myself and my friends, working to improve my own life and hopefully have a positive impact on people that I come in contact with.

    Yep — bingo, Bingo. What’s wrong with these people? Why do they so desperately need self-validation via some distant fellow human being, in the form of a president?

    A serious pathology has overtaken a great chunk of this country. It’s infuriating, because these numbskulls’ pathetic clinginess is ultimately a threat to MY freedoms. This kind of “dear leader” shit empowers our politicians in a way that can only erode our liberty in the long run.

    But if it weren’t infuriating, it would be simply sad. The naivete and helplessness on display in this video, and on the Washington Mall today, is awkward and embarrassing.

    For fuck’s sake, when you see somebody bowing to Jesus or Mohammed, at least you can figure they got saddled with the whole thing as kids, and they’re pushed by the momentum of thousands of years’ worth of tradition. But this — this is naked human acquiescence on parade, bare and rearing its head for all to see. It’s just so yucky and lame and humiliating. Why aren’t they ashamed to appear so dependent? Where and how did they cross the line into assuring themselves that it’s OK to look so enthralled to another human being?

  30. Why couldn’t they have done these things with Bush as president???

  31. That was one of the most distressing things I’ve ever seen. Thank goodness none of them are sincere.

  32. FYI: The video was removed from YouTube at 1:16 p.m. “by the user.”

  33. I pledge to buy a few guns

    Me, too. I’m thinking a Kahr .45 for carry, and a Fulton Armory SOPMOD .308 for, well, why the hell not? I’m giving better than even odds that we’ll see another assault weapon ban, so I’ll probably not get another chance.

  34. Good investment, RC.

    I have 3 AK-74s (plus an AR in the same caliber), with 25,000+ rounds (half of it in sealed cans). They can ban any goddamned thing they want to. I am covered for the foreseeable future unless we get into Dawn of the Dead territory.

    Also a Fal, a semi-auto FN police shotgun (with a pump as a spare), 3 .45s, 3 9mms, some other hand guns, some mil-surp rifles and some rimfires. Plenty of ammo and mags all around.

    All the pre-Obama hype has just driven up the value of my collection substantially. Thanks, Obama!

  35. The video is still up on MySpace here.

  36. And it made “The Hater” over at avclub.com

  37. “Me, too. I’m thinking a Kahr .45 for carry, and a Fulton Armory SOPMOD .308 for, well, why the hell not? I’m giving better than even odds that we’ll see another assault weapon ban, so I’ll probably not get another chance.”

    RCD – If you’re just thinking of buying now, you’re probably screwed. Ever since a couple weeks before the election there has been a huge demand for “assault rifles”, handguns, and ammo. Most guns are either 6-10 months backlogged on production or 2-3 times the normal price if you’re lucky enough to find it. Decent surplus 308 ammo is over $500/k. Fortunately I stocked up on assault rifles and ammo years ago when they were cheap and available.

  38. I pledge to oppose Obama’s escalation of the war in Afghanistan.

  39. From Hitler Youth to Obama Mamas.

  40. As long as Bush was president I had to kick puppies and steal food from poor children. Now that there is a president I like I can finally be a good person.

    If I’m a good person no matter who is in office, that reflects well on me as an individual, and thus reflects well on individuals. If I’m only a good person when the Right One holds govt office, that reflects on the power of govt and the wonderfulness of The Leader. It is only with Him that I can be good.

  41. OMG. That last chanting part is totally group think. Collectivism. The Borg. Resistance is futile; you will be assimilated.


    I pledge to fight group think and fascism and to avoid watching any of Demi Moore and Ashton Kucher’s stupidity.

  42. RCD – If you’re just thinking of buying now, you’re probably screwed.

    Exactly. We’re in a “gun bubble” right now. Lay off for awhile and let the hysteria die down. Besides, “Illegal use of a legal weapon” isn’t any more noble than “illegal use of an illegal weapon”.

  43. I pledge to give the considerable fortune I’ve made in our capitalistic system to the impoverished in not just our country, but every other country that’s not as well-off as mine. I pledge to sell the mansions, summer homes, sports cars, yachts and personal jets and live in a monastery, donating all of the proceeds from the products of my labor to accomplish these goals.

    Damn. I can’t go on. I want to keep all of my possessions. I only want to spend a tiny fraction of my income helping those dirty, smelly poor people. I want to spend a tiny fraction of my income on green energy so that I can feel comfortable moralizing to others that they should be doing the same, though they can’t afford it. What can I do?

    I’ve got it!

    I pledge to tell everyone in America what to do with the fruits of their labor, but I’ll still keep mine. I pledge to be a true sycophant for the one man who might make that happen for me. I pledge to convince myself that this really is better for everyone. I pledge that I’ll try to convince everyone else to believe what I now believe and to convince them that there is no other way to help people except to redistribute the wealth they’ve earned (except mine) among one another. Welcome to my dream, comrade!

  44. I have absolutely nothing against talking about my beliefs. But I do so much more. We live in a world where people are on drugs forever. Where even children get drugged. Where crimes against humanity are so extreme that most people turn away in horror and dismay. Those are the things that I care about. I don’t care what someone believes. I don’t care what nationality they are. But if someone wants to get off drugs, I can help them. If someone wants to learn how to read, I can help them. If someone doesn’t want to be a criminal anymore, I can give them tools that can better their life. You have no idea how many people want to know what Scientology is. (Spiegel interview, April 27, 2005)

    I’m a helper. For instance, I myself have helped hundreds of people get off drugs. In Scientology, we have the only successful drug rehabilitation program in the world. It’s called Narconon. (Spiegel interview, April 27, 2005)

    Who are those people that say those things [about Scientology’s alleged heavy-handed recruitment tactics, steep membership fees, etc.]? Because I promise you, it isnt everybody. But I look at those people and I say, ‘Bring it. I’m a Scientologist, man. What do you want to know?’ I don’t mind answering questions. (Rolling Stone interview, August 24, 2004)

    Some people, well, if they don’t like Scientology, well, then, f*** you. Really. F*** you. Period. (Rolling Stone interview, August 24, 2004)

    From Thetan Sevens for Obama

  45. Video gone. “removed by user”


  46. WE uncovered a libertarian plot to destroy the video, but Thetan technology has revived it here

  47. Uhh, no P-Diddy, you can turn off your bank of 10,000 lights in your mansion, but I’ll leave my three lights on, thank you very much.

  48. “It’s so much better here with intellectuals, isn’t it boys?”


  49. I wanna give this new president a chance, but hollywood keeps opening up it’s fucking collective mouth. Someone make them stop.

  50. Vid link dead now; but when I heard that ‘servant’ crap last evening I damn near spit my pizza clear across the room. The truth is free; the nitnats can now acknowledge the pols are our masters and we their serfs…but I never signed on to servitude and am unlikely to volunteer.

  51. Is this like when I first pledged a fraternity back in college, where I have some time to see if it works out, and can join another fraternity (don’t know how the analogy works here) if it doesn’t work out?

  52. “I pledge to be a good mother.”
    Yes, now that that evil Bush is gone, you can finally stop letting your kids play “put the fork in the light socket”.

  53. Invisible Finger,
    What makes you think the current rise in gun prices is based on unrealistic expectations about the future? I for one fully believe that Obama was BSing when he claimed that gun rights were safe under him.

  54. Barack Obama… the new L. Ron Hubbard

  55. Okay, let’s say, just for the sake of argument, that most of the things these ObamaZombies pledge to do are good ideas … and others decide to do them too … then I guess we won’t be NEEDING Obama, the govt, and all those taxes to do them, will we???

  56. Bingo – while I agree with your second and third paragraphs, consider that the “environmental” movement has been pushing to have carbon dioxide treated as a pollutant, which makes breathing an act of pollution.

    Meanwhile, I pledge to work on trying to end electricity shortages by converting the kinetic energy of Ayn Rand spinning in her grave into useful energy.

  57. I pledge to always respond with:

    Pound Salt.

    As a willing servant, Bruce Willis’ ex and her Hubbie should donate their accumulate millions to the government. Think how much starvation in Africa could be alleviated.

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