Politics

Just About the Worst—Or Is That the Best?—Obama Tchotchke I've Seen So Far

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Washington, D.C. is unsurprisingly awash in Obama merchandise. My vote for the worst (or possibly best) item (so far) is this Obama-shirt-wearing dancing bear that I captured with terrible video quality from my cell phone:

Update: This Obama item, sent to me by Denver Post columnist and Reason contributor David Harsanyi, might be far, far worse (or is that better?).

NEXT: Obameter: Keeping Track of Our New President's Promises

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  1. If somebody creates a Ron Paul-shirt-wearing dancing bear, it could trigger mass vomiting.

  2. I can’t explain it, but dancing bears turn me on.

  3. Oh for the love of..

  4. Good thing it wasn’t a monkey.

  5. Good god. It’s like what happened to the Superbowl. It use to be a big game, but now even the commercials are bigger than the game. And the pregame goes on for twice as long as the actual game which is stretched out to three times as long as it should be.

    I personally don’t get it. If you think Obama is The One, that’s great. Get on the bus and head over to DC. Come early and bring cash. Or just invite all your Obamamaniac friends over and put on CSPAN. Or whatever waves your flag. But I don’t see why the inauguration has to ooze out of every pore of the media. I have no interest in All Obama All the time.

    I don’t want to hear about it till after he’s sworn in and he dons the strapon and bends over the country. Then let me know when it all becomes his fault and I can start blaming him for shit.

  6. UPS sent me an email the other day explaining that, although they were very sorry about it, do not expect any packages to be delivered in DC during the coronation.

  7. Obama is prom king, amongst a high school class composed of politicians and media people. Winning prom king is a big deal, people! At least to the people who give a shit about the prom. You know, like the people who do the yearbook and stuff.

  8. Outside the Foggy Bottom metro yesterday there was a guy selling Obama condoms….

  9. Instead of going to my senior prom, I went to see Road Trip, then I got hammered. I had a much better time, I think.

  10. I really, really think that teddy bear should have played one of James Brown’s other, more appropriate songs….

    I’m going to hell.

  11. Outside the Foggy Bottom metro yesterday there was a guy selling Obama condoms….

    Looks like we’re going to be in for an Obama baby boom. Perfect–it’ll fix Social Security!

    Instead of going to my senior prom, I went to see Road Trip, then I got hammered. I had a much better time, I think.

    But did you do some hammering of your own?

  12. I FEEL GOOD
    James Brown
    Whoa-oa-oa! I feel good, I knew that I would, now
    I feel good, I knew that I would, now
    So good, so good, I got you

    Whoa! I feel nice, like sugar and spice
    I feel nice, like sugar and spice
    So nice, so nice, I got you

    { sax, two licks to bridge }

    When I hold you in my arms
    I know that I can’t do no wrong
    and when I hold you in my arms
    My love won’t do you no harm

    and I feel nice, like sugar and spice
    I feel nice, like sugar and spice
    So nice, so nice, I got you

    { sax, two licks to bridge }

    When I hold you in my arms
    I know that I can’t do no wrong
    and when I hold you in my arms
    My love can’t do me no harm

    and I feel nice, like sugar and spice
    I feel nice, like sugar and spice
    So nice, so nice, well I got you

    Whoa! I feel good, I knew that I would, now
    I feel good, I knew that I would
    So good, so good, ’cause I got you
    So good, so good, ’cause I got you
    So good, so good, ’cause I got you

  13. Obama is prom king, amongst a high school class composed of politicians and media people.

    Oof. You stuck the landing on that one, Ep.

  14. Why do I get the feeling the bear was hastily converted from “Washington Nationals: NL East Champions 2008!”

  15. O-bama!
    Well, you came and you gave without taking
    And I sent you away, O-bama
    When you kissed me and stopped me from shaking

    Christ, I can’t wait until the Inauguration is over – then Barry can start fucking up and we can dump on him for his mistakes as we have done with every president before him.

  16. But did you do some hammering of your own?

    Yeah, I finished roofing a shed earlier. Why do you ask?

  17. On the news this morning the reporters were all talking rapturous about the upcoming inauguration. Like schoolgirls with moist panties at a boyband concert.

  18. Yeah, I finished roofing a shed earlier. Why do you ask?

    I am trying desperately to figure out a way to turn “roof a shed” into something obscene, but I’m drawing a blank. Did you at least roof that shed so hard that it was sore for 3 days?

    Like schoolgirls with moist panties at a boyband concert.

    He’s bringing sexy back.

    YEAH

  19. Have the riots John was predicting started yet?

  20. God, Malkin is a dimwit.

    She gets a perfectly good set-up – an American flag redesigned with Obama’s logo and picture – just begging for an Obama as Messiah putdown, and where does she go with it?

    Flag desecration. “But don’t question their patriotism.”

    If that woman had gained 35 pounds in college, she’d be working the fry station because she can’t figure out the register.

  21. I am trying desperately to figure out a way to turn “roof a shed” into something obscene, but I’m drawing a blank. Did you at least roof that shed so hard that it was sore for 3 days?

    OK, OK, you got me. I was actually trying to sodomize a goat, but I couldn’t get the angle right.

  22. You wake up, you’re in McDonald’s–working there 3 years, STILL not assistant manager. You want to quit, but you can’t ’cause you’re banging the slow girl on the fry-a-lator. They say she’s retarded, but those titties ain’t retarded!

  23. Clearly, you haven’t seen the new fingernail art being hawked here in Texas: a miniature pic of Obama on the nails of all ten digits.

    That’s not merely tchotchke; it’s gaucherie.

    Gag me with a spoon.

  24. OK, OK, you got me. I was actually trying to sodomize a goat, but I couldn’t get the angle right.

    Was this before or after getting hammered? Maybe you had whiskey dick.

  25. Warren: “Or just invite all your Obamamaniac friends over and put on CSPAN.”
    An inauguration superbowl-type party? Sounds absurd but I have no doubt that its going to happen. Complete with beer, big screen, pizza, party favors and high-fives.

  26. go steelers

  27. And the auto-ad to the right just drives the post home: The Stylin’ on-line Super-Obama t-shirt, with the familiar S replaced with an O, on hyper-masculine Obama tearing off his Clark Kent suit.

    God, I love this country.

  28. The bear is bad, but the other thing will scar my brain. Compared to that, the Barack-y Road gelato at Zingerman’s seems subtle.

  29. “If that woman had gained 35 pounds in college, she’d be working the fry station because she can’t figure out the register”

    And I’m sure since you have a master’s degree, which means you have to be just fucking brilliant, you are more successful than she is, right?

  30. She has a better rack.

  31. If we’re talking about things that sound dirty:

    You can stimulate the economy all you want, but if your tax code discourages investment and productivity, you’ll never get it up.

  32. I have a masters degree *sniffs fart*.

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