Bush Says Buh-Bye
Last night, George W. Bush gave his farewell address on the TV. From a USA Today account:
President Bush used his farewell address Thursday to stress that the nation has not suffered a major terrorist attack since Sept. 11, 2001. But the threat remains, he said, and will be President-elect Barack Obama's biggest challenge.
"Our enemies are patient and determined to strike again," Bush said in a nationally televised address from the White House.
Bush, who listed the Iraq war as one of his efforts to combat terrorism, said he understands disagreement with some "tough decisions" he made, "but I hope you can agree that I was willing to make the tough decisions."
Full text and video of Bush's remarks are here.
So whaddya think? Are you happy, sad, or whatever to see him go?
Reason magazine on Bush's Exit, Stage Left.
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Wait...that guy is still the president? I had no idea!
(Seriously, though, don't let door hit your ass on the way out.)
(Children)
So long, farewell
Auf Wiedersehen, goodnight
(Marta)
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight
(Children)
So long, farewell
Auf Wiedersehen, adieu
(Fredrick)
Adieu, adieu
To you and you and you
(Children)
So long, farewell
Au revoir, Auf Weidersehen
(Leisel)
I'd like to stay
And taste my first champagne
(talking to the captain) yes?
(Captain) no!
(children)
So long, farewell
Auf Weidersehen, goodbye
(Kurt)
I leave and heave
A sigh and say goodbye
Goodbye
(Brigitta)
I'm glad to go
I cannot tell a lie
(Louisa)
I flit, I float
I fleetly flee, I fly
(Gretel)
The sun has gone
To bed and so must I
(Children)So long, farewell
Auf Weidersehen, goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
(guests)
Goodbye
"You ungrateful motherfuckers! If it wasn't for my magic rock, the terrorists would have turned this country into a wasteland!"
He was willing to make the tough decisions, it's true. He mostly decided wrong, but hey, he decided.
Can i be relieved to see him go and also sad to see Obama arrive?
(Seriously, though, don't let door hit your ass on the way out.)
You fucker...I was going to say exactly that. Instead I will say "here's your hat...what's your hurry?"
""Our enemies are patient and determined to strike again," Bush said in a nationally televised address from the White House."
So George, maybe it was the patience of "the enemy" that is the reason we haven't been attacked again? And not anything in particular that you've done.
By his standard, Clinton was just as succesful in deterring attacks on the homeland after an initial one.
Which is the tougher decision to make?
To decide to stick with an earlier decision that has gone wrong, but which it will embarrass and damage you to admit was wrong -
Or to decide to abandon an earlier decision once it has soured, even though your opponents will use it against you if you admit you were wrong?
"but I hope you can agree that I was willing to make the tough decisions."
Actually, he was not willing to make the tough decisions. That's my fundamental problem with his administration. For instance, a person who was willing to make tough decisions would have at least used 'soft power' to curtail some of the obvious excesses in the financial sector that was giving a false sense of prosperity. True, doing so in 2004 may have imperiled one's reelection chances as the economy trimmed it's growth, but that's why it's a tough decision. And doing so in 2005 or 2006 would have hurt the midterms - but that's what happened anyway. No, instead of becoming a profile in courage, his administration tried to ride the unsustainable growth as long as possible. Granted, he wasn't the only one, but he was one of the most important.
I'm sorry, joe, but the hills are not alive with the sounds of music.
Even disregarding the Iraq war, I would say he's the worst president so far in my lifetime. I'm 35, btw.
And I really want to stress the "so far." We can, and might, see much worse.
I can remember the day after he was sworn in. I was in a carpool with a bunch of Navy folks, and they were so happy to have a new leader. Ugh.
Now we will be more free.
Can i be relieved to see him go and also sad to see Obama arrive?
Fatalism is a symptom. The cure is more weed.
Put me in the "Bush was the worst since FDR" column. I can't believe we had to suffer a second term of this monster.
I'd feel a lot better about his leaving if I wasn't so afraid of what's moving in.
We are SO fucked.
The cure is more weed.
That'll just give you the munchies, and you'll get fat. A little coke will perk us all right up, and no appetite.
Uh...anthrax?
What about the birds that were murdered by that USAIRWAYS polution machine yesterday?
The pilot was probably part of the RightWingWarMachine.
And now begins the sickening revisionism of his presidency into something quasi-benign.
It's something like relief, but really I wish we replaced the admin the day after the election like some other countries do. Having these shitheads linger in office has only given them time to prolong the effects of their shithead-ery.
I'm sorry, joe, but the hills are not alive with the sounds of music.
Well, shit, why don't you blow your little whistle and alert all the other Nazis?
I always wanted to see "The Sound of Music II," where that kid loses his fingers to frostbite outside of Moscow while wearing women's clothes.
Uh...anthrax?
No, just the check. Thanks.
Having these shitheads linger in office has only given them time to prolong the effects of their shithead-ery.
That is why Obama got to take over early. He is really President now. He already almost has a secretary fo state.
'but I hope you can agree that I was willing to make the tough decisions.'
Then I'm sorry to disappoint your hopes, you [person with with an extreme Oedipal complex].
You could have vetoed the Bipartisan McCain-Feingold Free Speech Abolition Act, but you signed it so that you could fob off the issue onto the Supreme Court. Nice way of not ducking the tough issues!
You proposed a couple of Band-Aids for the looming federal entitlements crisis - that is, when you weren't adding to the problem with extra entitlements. You probably figured that later Presidents and Congresses could deal with the issue.
You took a low profile on abortion, which you supposedly believe to be a moral crisis. So much for your 'values voters.'
You courageously decided you didn't have to obey the laws against torture, and against locking up American citizens without Congressional approval. To show your willingness to make such tough decisions, you emitted a cloud of legal ink, squid-like, to conceal the reality of what you were doing.
Thank God for the 22nd Amendment, but in your case I doubt that Amendment would be necessary to prevent you from having a third term.
Well, shit, why don't you blow your little whistle and alert all the other Nazis?
Sure are a lot of them around here.
I feel like celebrating.
It's an incredibly beautiful dismal day. The (big) sky is a fabulous shade of blue grey. I feel an overpowering urge to go skiing clean my bathroom.
I think I hear New Hampshire calling you.
I'm with KT.
Obama should propose that now. He could accurately say that the only way this change could even effect him personally would be to shorten his term, since he's never going to be PEOTUS again.
Uh...anthrax?
They should definitely play the inauguration.
Can we get rid of the 22nd amendment now?
I'm still holding out for Ministry. Hell, they're from Chicago!
whatever.
fatalism is a bitch.
joe,
I thought the happiest moment in The Sound of Music was when Christopher Plummer blew the whistle, and the kids lined up, in uniform, and stood at attention. I get a tear in my eye just thinking about it.
I actually like that movie--I even sing songs from it to my daughter, who can sing "Do, Re, Me" with some prompting. We need leaders like Baron von Trapp today!
So what will Bush do next, write a book, hit the speakers' circuit, get tenure at devry?
I wouldn't look to Christopher the Plummer for child-rearing advice, Pro Lib.
"If any of you fucking pricks move, I'll execute every last motherfucking one of you!"
joe,
I too would love an Obama administration to usher in a new age of industrial music.
But I kinda doubt it...
Does that podium make his butt look big?
He's going to be the next president of Russia. He looked in Putin's eyes or something.
Baron von Trapp was an excellent father. . .until that Maria tramp showed up and ruined everything. Oh, the joy of order in a home with many children.
Alain Jourgensen for Secretary of Jesus Building Hotrods!
So what will Bush do next
He'll decide after the lengthy process of cleaning the shit off his cock. It's got quite a build-up after fucking America in the ass for 8 years.
SugarFree,
"This next song is presented in honor of the outgoing President..."
Minds are empty heads are hollow
You might find out the truth is hard to swallow
There's a place down there where heads are square...
If Bush had made the following speech, I'd demand that he stay in office as dictator for the next ten years:
"If any of you fucking pricks move, I'll execute every last motherfucking one of you!"
That's just shows he knew how to empower his daughter. See, she knew how to make the tough decisions - like don't shoot Samuel L Jackson.
Pro Libertate | January 16, 2009, 11:16am | #
Baron von Trapp was an excellent father. . .until that Maria tramp showed up and ruined everything. Oh, the joy of order in a home with many children./i>
This is the most awesome take on a movie since my four year old nephew rooted for the tornado in The Wizard of Oz.
"Go tomoatoe! Blow! And...." stomps around, waving arms.
"...but I hope you can agree that I was willing to make the tough decisions."
The Road To Hell is paved with good intentions.
Cue AC/DC.
Episiarch,
That's a faith-based initiative we can all get behind.
Ding dang dong a rama long ding dong!
I've always thought the tornado in Oz got a bum rap. Everyone seems to forget that it killed an evil witch. And cured Dorothy's colorblindness.
Italics-Challenged joe,
Hard to watch that movie when you have four kids and not think that way.
I need a whistle.
If Bush had made the following speech, I'd demand that he stay in office as dictator for the next ten years:
I would say the closest he got to that was the G8 summit in July 2008. As he left he was pumping his fist and almost sorta-proudly declaring the USA to be the world's biggest polluter. This is my favorite moment of his entire presidency.
See, now I want to listen to Ministry, but that really, really doesn't fly at work.
You could probably get away with a little Front 242.
Italics-Challenged joe,
*snaps on Saf-T-Taint*
Which begs the question, what should be the official band of the Bush administration/years? Now that he's leaving, I think this can be assessed.
The most obvious choice is Toby Keith. But I think we could do better.
Limp Bizkit.
They capture perfectly that "How the hell did I ever think these guys didn't suck?" vibe really well.
ProL, obviously it would be The Scissor Girls.
I was thinking more David Soul (who wasn't a band, of course) singing, "Don't Give Up on Us, Baby." Gosh, my stomach hurts just typing that title.
Miley Cyrus. Inexplicably popular with a certain segment of the public, wholly manufactured and cynically empty, and complete fucking torture to listen to.
He's not gone yet. He still has a laundry list of pardons to give.
I thought it was funny how Obama, who for two years insisted we must catch Osama bin Laden, is suddenly saying "Oh, well, as long as he's forced to live in hiding, that's the important thing" now that it's going to be his responsibility in a few days.
Bush's official soundtrack absolutely has to include the mutant banjo-picker from Deliverance.
Pro Lib,
You've convinced me: I think they should remake the Sound of Music as a tragedy, with Maria as the villain who destroys the happy Von Trapp home and denies the Captain the chance to avenge his humailiation with martial glory, rips him away from his friends, and ruins his chances at happiness as the husband of a super-rich countess. In the end, their ship is torpedoed by a Wold Pack and goes down with all hands.
Yes, yes, there are pro-Nazi overtones, but sometimes you have to sacrificae for art.
In place of the Baron's neo-pagan awe at nature and deference to natural authority, the tramp brings her self-abnegating popery!
This stuff writes itself!
You guys are nitpicking on the "tough decisions" bit. It was just another Bushism. He meant to say that he made decisions on the tough questions. They just weren't the tough decisions (or the right ones, or even rational ones). But he was the decider.
And when those tough questions came along, he wasn't afraid to screw it up.
Fatalism is a symptom. The cure is more weed.
That is excellent advice.
Simply making a big decision isn't enough. To paraphrase a well-respected Admiral, "I need your judgment! You're competence!"
joe,
I'm totally on board. It doesn't have to be pro-Nazi as much as pro-Germanic valor.
Damned meddling nun.
Yeah, because nothing cures "Whatever" like a deep toke.
In the climactic scene, young Rolfe valiantly tries to appeal to the Baron's honor while impoloring him not to abandon his homeland, and Maria STABS HIM IN THE BACK.
I have the official song of the Bush administration right here. With any luck, we can squeeze it into our Sound of Music remake.
True, Maria has none of the German virtues. I understand that aside from being a papist, she was also a communist.
and Maria STABS HIM IN THE BACK.
You're on your A game today, joe. Get a new coke supplier?
(I typed that as "cock supplier" at first. I was really conflicted on whether I should fix the typo.)
Good riddance!
Maria needs to be recast, of course.
I'm thinking the Snapple Lady.
Open with a scene of a very nordic looking prostitute leaving her on the doorstep of the abby.
Will anybody miss anything about him?
Anybody?
Will anybody miss anything about him?
Ask the late night comedy shows after about 6 months of tip-toeing around Obama.
I don't recall them tip-toeing around Clinton. Then again, Clinton was a much easier target.
THE URKOBOLD IS INTRIGUED AND MAY REQUIRE AMATEUR MINIONTATE TO ADD THIS REMAKE TO THE URKOBOLD'S PLANNED TELEVISION AND FILM PRODUCTIONS FOR 2009. HOWEVER, THE URKOBOLD HAS ALREADY SELECTED THE ACTRESS TO PLAY THE ROLE OF MARIA.
NUN SHALL PASS.
Bush was funny. Clinton was funny. Poppy was funny. Even Reagan offered some pretty good opportunities for humor.
Barack Obama is just not a funny subject. There's the ears, and then what?
I tell you what: Joe Biden.
"Come on, stand up! Let everyone see you! Come on, stand up!"
I think Biden will cause him some headaches for years to come. The only reason it didn't hurt him more in 2008 was because Palin sucked all the gaffe oxygen out of the room. Everytime Biden said something stupid, Palin would say something ten times as stupid the very next day.
My money is on him being off the ticket in 2012, though.
I'm pretty sure Leno and his ilk are secretly hoping the two girls are going to be fuck-ups. But that's a long way off. Biden might help a bit, but he'll probably fade into the background, like Gore.
The late night comedy industry's going to ask for a bailout any day now.
SF, they still have Blago for a few more months.
SNL could probably get a couple of years worth of skits about Hillary trying to bump him off.
I guess the humor in Obama will come from his more fanatical supporters thinking he will solve everything with a magic wand. That's really the best angle to go on, but that's still more about his fawning supporters than him.
Comedians with any balls (that would NOT be SNL, Leno, or Letterman) would do some hero-worship stuff or race-based stuff from an unexpected angle. Maybe MadTV will step up. They are generally by far the most offensive of the major programs.
BDB | January 16, 2009, 12:49pm | #
I guess the humor in Obama will come from his more fanatical supporters thinking he will solve everything with a magic wand. That's really the best angle to go on, but that's still more about his fawning supporters than him.
Something along the lines of the Shat telling the Star Trek groupies to get a life? I can see that.
I don't think the Daily Show is going to be very good anymore, though. They still don't know how to deal with it (they still talk about Bush mostly).
Well, Bush is still the president.
And he's a lot funnier than B. Hussein Obama.
They were good during the Clinton presidency. Ever see the interview with Joycelyn Elders?
Opening question: "So...you grew up on a cucumber farm..."
I actually think Obama will be mocked quite thoroughly. The big problem with him is that he's still, to a large degree, a cipher. That'll end shortly.
Yeah they were good when Clinton was in, but again, Clinton is such an easy target. His weight, his womanizing, his general sleaziness, his pathological lying, his relationship with Hillary...the list goes on.
I mean, how could a political comedy show NOT be good during Monicagate?
Whoa. The boss sure has an eye for young talent. Wonder if she can sing?
Whoa.
Totally rewriting "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria."
The only words from the origninal "These Are a Few of My Favorite Things" that will remain:
...tied up...
I'm just trying to imagine her spinning around on that mountain top. I don't think it's physically possible.
Is that a typical nun?
Whoever is doing Obama on MADTV, he's the first one to actually capture how the new prez speaks. I'm sure material will be forthcoming. And the conceit of that particular sketch wasn't all that bad. (And if SNL takes risks like what they allowed whatshisface to do to the NY Gov, Obama will be a target shortly enough)
As for the Daily Show and Colbert, to be sure Bush was low hanging fruit, but their main thrust was always how much in general the media sucks. That's a target that's not going away anytime soon.
Obama doesn't even talk like "the Rock" anymore.
Do you SMELLA what BARACK'S a-COOKIN?
I don't know why (he doesn't REALLY look like him and is way too tall) but Will Ferrell will always be the best George W. Bush.
Obama doesn't even talk like "the Rock" anymore.
I consider that a bug, not a feature. ;-(
I mean, I always thought nuns were old and ugly, like the Penguin. And is that an authorized habit?
That's a bad habit, lad. A very bad habit.
I would have thrown a lot more spitballs in high school if the women with the rulers looked like that.
I'm just trying to imagine her spinning around on that mountain top. I don't think it's physically possible.
It is possible: I did it. As did all of my my drunken fellow exchange students.
If you're still dubious, I dare you: Go to Southern Germany, climb to the top of a beautiful alpine hill and just try to keep yourself from spinning like a gorgeous englishwoman.
You'll spin till you puke, guaranteed.
Matthew,
Sure, you, me, joe, Julie Andrews, we can all spin and spin on Swiss/Austrian mountaintops, no problem. However, I don't think the nun pictured in the link posted by the Urkobold above could. I'm pretty sure that would violate a law of physics or create some sort of bosomy singularity.
Since 5 people died in the anthrax attacks, Bush's claim that no one died as a result of terrorism after 9/11 is false.
The guy can't even make a fairwell address without either lying or just getting the facts wrong [hard to know if his error there is deliberate or just stupidity].
Pro Lib's right. There would massive centrifugal forces produced if the good Sister in that photo were to spint around on a mountain. There would need to be something to provide a centripetal force to counter it.
I believe such a position is known in the film world as a "Key Grip."
I'd just like to say that I'm feeling a little verklempt over how you boys have come together this day. It's so heartwarming to see you all in agreement on something.
I love you guys! *snif*
Also, I think the mountaintop spinning shouldn't be too much of a problem. So long as she's wearing a bra with decent support. I am similarly endowed, and am pretty sure I could manage the spin, so long as I'm wearing comfortable shoes 🙂
Those defy gripping, I'd say.
I imagine, actually, that less support may be better... as the breasts spin out, they may provide a stabilizing effect...
Who has a high-speed camera? Should we get the Mythbusters to check this one out?
Huh. First linguist, now Bronwyn. What is it with libertarian women and their impossibly large mammalian indicators? I'd pursue this more rigorously, but I'm happily married and don't want my wife to beat me with her large bosoms.
Yes, the Mythbusters crew should handle this.
Those defy gripping, I'd say.
Many hands make short work?
THE URKOBOLD PRESENTS TO YOU A LITTLE-KNOWN FACT: KEY GRIPS WERE ORIGINALLY DESIGNATED KEY FONDLES.
GET ME TO A NUNNERY!
Obama will be worse. Mark my words.
joe at 11:22 HOLY CRAP! Jesus, he built my car, it's a love affair. mainly Jesus. and my hot rod. Yeah fuck it.
awesome reference.
What? Pat him on the back for 'making tough decisions?" You've gotta be kidding me! Given Bush's repeated blatant violations of constitutional civil liberties, his corporate welfare bailout policies, and his lying about the reasons to go to war against Iraq (all at the expense of the poor and middle class taxpayers), I have thought often, "How does she (Laura) live with him, much less sleep with him?"
To GWB,
"So long George, don't let the door hit your arse on the way out!"
To BHO,
"Wtf are you doing here?"
Thanks, Head.
I wanna love ya.
McCain, had he been elected in 2000, would have been worse.
Funny, I thought we had just re-elected him.
I predict that Bush will be a wonderful ex-President, and pretty much just shut the fuck up, unlike these endless windbags and totalitarian ass-kissers the Democrats give us for their ex-Presidents.
No, I'm not calling you an ex-President, joe.