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Economics

"If You Love America, You Throw Money In Its Hole"

Katherine Mangu-Ward | 11.14.2008 12:02 PM

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Exploring one of the vital issues of our day: "Should the government stop dumping money into a giant hole?"


In The Know: Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?

For more on the bailout, go here.

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NEXT: The Schnorrer State

Katherine Mangu-Ward is editor in chief of Reason.

EconomicsCapital Markets
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  1. Citizen Nothing   16 years ago

    Best.
    Onion.
    Video.
    Ever.

  2. Abdul   16 years ago

    This won't go over well here. Folks around these parts are pretty anti-hole.

  3. Warren   16 years ago

    AWSOME!
    Thanks KMW, I've been looking for that for weeks.

  4. Pro Libertate   16 years ago

    That's exactly the problem with the real-life debate--they don't argue about whether we should have the hole, just about how we throw our money in it. Great stuff.

  5. Rationalitate   16 years ago

    The black lady is by far the best.

    "America needs the money hole!"
    "My father worked two jobs so he'd have money to put in the money hole, and he never complained!"
    "I love the money fires!"
    "Don't close the money hole!"
    "If you love America, you throw money in its hole!"

  6. Pro Libertate   16 years ago

    I love the money fires, too.

  7. SugarFree   16 years ago

    Wouldn't money fires be deflationary?

  8. Naga Sadow   16 years ago

    Wise of you, SugarFree. After all, "we live in inflationary times. I remember when you could have people killed for 10 bucks."

  9. Lefiti   16 years ago

    How about the libertarian stupid dogmatic fixation hole? It's the surrender-your-god-given-intelligence-to-a few-cultish-principles-so-you-never-have-to-think-again hole!

  10. Pro Libertate   16 years ago

    If you're not part of the hole, you're part of the problem.

  11. Hazel Meade   16 years ago

    Some of the other comments are pretty funny to:

    "Let the market decide what the best way to destroy money is!"

    "There's no way to guarentee that it won't get lost... some of the money might blow away! Thats why the government pours gasoline on it before setting it on fire, to make sure ALL of the money is destroyed!"

  12. SugarFree   16 years ago

    You've made your hole, now fall in it.

    (Let's have more folk wisdom about America's Hole.)

  13. Pro Libertate   16 years ago

    Hazel,

    "Let the market decide what the best way to destroy money is!" sums up the Republican Party in a nutshell.

  14. Hazel Meade   16 years ago

    How about the libertarian stupid dogmatic fixation hole?

    How about a Lefiti libertarian obsession hole? How else are you going to efficiently destroy productive working hours?

  15. Lefiti   16 years ago

    The hole was dug by free-market fundamentalism and out of control deregulation. It's going to be filled up by government intervention and tighter regulation, and you fucking free-market fundamentalists are going to be further marginalized. Alas, you will have access to the same universal health care as everyone else. Why not take your guns and flee to the hills. Good riddance!

  16. Pro Libertate   16 years ago

    Libertarians are crazy, questioning the need for a hole. We've got the hole, and we must fill it!

  17. Pro Libertate   16 years ago

    I daresay that government does a much better job of taking and wasting our money than the rest of us do. In that sense, it is very efficient.

  18. Hazel Meade   16 years ago

    Leftiti: If we're so marginalized, why are you bothering to argue with us? Surely we are beneath your notice now that your glorious utopian future of central planning is becoming a reality.

    Or are you scared that your victory will be short-lived? Afraid that you haven't really won the battle of ideas?

  19. Salvius   16 years ago

    We can't close the hole, think of the unemployment! All of those shovelers employed at the hole, for example...

    Besides, over time, the hole will pay for itself through "hole dividends", anyway.

  20. Mister DNA   16 years ago

    In Soviet Russia, money throws you in hole.

  21. damon   16 years ago

    You know, I'm not a big fan of Malkin, but she just posted an article at Townhall that is sort of appropriate:

    http://townhall.com/columnists/MichelleMalkin/2008/11/14/hank_paulson,_naked_emperor

  22. Salvius   16 years ago

    And you know, we've all benefited from the new technologies developed as part of the hole program. Why, the very intertubes on which we're posting wouldn't even exist without the hole!

  23. SIV   16 years ago

    The Onion money hole piece is sponsored by GM.

  24. SIV   16 years ago

    GM should die for what they did to the SAAB marque alone.Someone else will pick up the Corvette and Cadillac pieces.

  25. Sam Grove   16 years ago

    The hole was dug by free-market fundamentalism and out of control deregulation.

    When did you start taking Republicans at their word? Only when it suits your agenda?

  26. fresno dan   16 years ago

    "The government should pay people to dig holes in the ground and then fill them up (with money)."
    John Maynard Keynes.
    Cool Hand Luke "Not so much"

  27. Lefiti   16 years ago

    FDR lives. Long live Krugman! Barack Obama! Fuck free-market fundamentalist reaganite fucks everywhere!

  28. Strangel   16 years ago

    The money fires would be deflationary only if you assume that the fed is not going to print more. Don't ever assume that...

  29. JW   16 years ago

    Folks around these parts are pretty anti-hole.

    Hey! Just because I'm pro-choice, doesn't mean I'm pro-landfill!

  30. Xeones   16 years ago

    FDR lives. Long live Krugman! Barack Obama! Fuck free-market fundamentalist reaganite fucks everywhere!

    CESAR?!?

  31. Famous Mortimer   16 years ago

    Wait, Libertarians have a sense of humor?

  32. No Name Guy   16 years ago

    Excellent piece. Thanks KMW for pointing it out.

    Sometimes, it just takes over the top paraody to point out the obvious (at least, obvious to those with functioning neurons) to dipshits, like Lefiti.

  33. Nino Savate   16 years ago

    As the Holy Book says, in the Book of Holes, Chapter 1:
    "And they knew not their holes from an ass on the ground."

  34. Hazel Meade   16 years ago

    FDR lives. Long live Krugman! Barack Obama! Fuck free-market fundamentalist reaganite fucks everywhere!

    I can't decide which ones are the real Lefitis and which are the fake ones anymore.

  35. Salvius   16 years ago

    Incidentally, they've followed this up with the also-brilliant headline, "Supreme Court Upholds Bill of Rights in 5-4 Decision".

  36. Courtney Love   16 years ago

    Wait, what?

  37. penxv   16 years ago

    FDR lives. Long live Krugman! Barack Obama! Fuck free-market fundamentalist reaganite fucks everywhere!

    It takes a corrupted worldview to witness what is going on these days and be at peace with it intellectually. I'd suggest that you reevaluate the way you look at the world, but you would probably take offense.

  38. Famous Mortimer   16 years ago

    "It takes a corrupted worldview to witness what is going on these days and be at peace with it intellectually. I'd suggest that you reevaluate the way you look at the world, but you would probably take offense."

    Libertarians will never be intellectually at piece because at heart, they're anti-intellectual.

    It's not apart of their code.

  39. Famous Mortimer   16 years ago

    There's blood when I wipe.

  40. Pro Libertate   16 years ago

    Libertarians are anti-intellectual? What?

  41. Smart Ass   16 years ago

    Actually, I am a "peace" with myself and find it's "a part" of my code.

    But then, I'm anti-intellectual.

  42. R C Dean   16 years ago

    Libertarians will never be intellectually at piece because at heart, they're anti-intellectual.

    Uh-huh. People who came to politics through Ayn Rand (as many did), who argue the merits of von Mises, who study the ratification of the Constitution, who quarrel over the utilitarian argument for libertarianism v. the moral argument v. the natural rights argument, they're the anti-intellectuals in politics these days.

    The problem with libertarians as a whole isn't that they are anti-intellectual, its that they're too intellectual about politics to be effective at it.

  43. P Brooks   16 years ago

    The problem with libertarians as a whole isn't that they are anti-intellectual, its that they're too intellectual about politics to be effective at it.

    The problem with libertarians is they're not real Amerrikins.

  44. Mike Laursen   16 years ago

    It's going to be filled up by government intervention...

    Yes, exactly, like The Onion said, with money. Very good, Lefiti, you got the joke!

  45. Jim Greenleaf   16 years ago

    If you love America, you throw money at its trolls.

    Seriously. Don't feed the trolls.

  46. Brian Sorgatz   16 years ago

    America's behavior around holes is no wiser than that of the traveling salesman in this rock opera from Mr. Show. Jack Black for president in 2012!

  47. Eric Evans   16 years ago

    I can't believe the lack of patriotic duty I'm sensing on this thread. After I watched this video, I took $100,000 out of my account and personally dumped it in the money hole. The money fire from that wad of cash was awesome!

    The rest of you should be ashamed of yourselves. The least you could do is put a few bucks in the soldier hole or the energy hole, Jesus!

  48. Aresen   16 years ago

    Eric Evans | November 16, 2008, 2:40pm | #

    I can't believe the lack of patriotic duty I'm sensing on this thread. After I watched this video, I took $100,000 out of my account and personally dumped it in the money hole. The money fire from that wad of cash was awesome!

    The rest of you should be ashamed of yourselves. The least you could do is put a few bucks in the soldier hole or the energy hole, Jesus!

    Eric: The next time you feel so patriotic, just call me. You can pull the $100,000 out of your account and give it to me.

    I promise I'd put it in the money hole for you.

    Trust me.

    Really.

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