Capital Markets

"If You Love America, You Throw Money In Its Hole"

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Exploring one of the vital issues of our day: "Should the government stop dumping money into a giant hole?"


In The Know: Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?

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Katherine Mangu-Ward is editor in chief of Reason.

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  1. Best.
    Onion.
    Video.
    Ever.

  2. Abdul

    This won’t go over well here. Folks around these parts are pretty anti-hole.

  3. Warren

    AWSOME!
    Thanks KMW, I’ve been looking for that for weeks.

  4. Pro Libertate

    That’s exactly the problem with the real-life debate–they don’t argue about whether we should have the hole, just about how we throw our money in it. Great stuff.

  5. The black lady is by far the best.

    “America needs the money hole!”
    “My father worked two jobs so he’d have money to put in the money hole, and he never complained!”
    “I love the money fires!”
    “Don’t close the money hole!”
    “If you love America, you throw money in its hole!”

  6. Pro Libertate

    I love the money fires, too.

  7. SugarFree

    Wouldn’t money fires be deflationary?

  8. Naga Sadow

    Wise of you, SugarFree. After all, “we live in inflationary times. I remember when you could have people killed for 10 bucks.”

  9. Lefiti

    How about the libertarian stupid dogmatic fixation hole? It’s the surrender-your-god-given-intelligence-to-a few-cultish-principles-so-you-never-have-to-think-again hole!

  10. Pro Libertate

    If you’re not part of the hole, you’re part of the problem.

  11. Hazel Meade

    Some of the other comments are pretty funny to:

    “Let the market decide what the best way to destroy money is!”

    “There’s no way to guarentee that it won’t get lost… some of the money might blow away! Thats why the government pours gasoline on it before setting it on fire, to make sure ALL of the money is destroyed!”

  12. SugarFree

    You’ve made your hole, now fall in it.

    (Let’s have more folk wisdom about America’s Hole.)

  13. Pro Libertate

    Hazel,

    “Let the market decide what the best way to destroy money is!” sums up the Republican Party in a nutshell.

  14. Hazel Meade

    How about the libertarian stupid dogmatic fixation hole?

    How about a Lefiti libertarian obsession hole? How else are you going to efficiently destroy productive working hours?

  15. Lefiti

    The hole was dug by free-market fundamentalism and out of control deregulation. It’s going to be filled up by government intervention and tighter regulation, and you fucking free-market fundamentalists are going to be further marginalized. Alas, you will have access to the same universal health care as everyone else. Why not take your guns and flee to the hills. Good riddance!

  16. Pro Libertate

    Libertarians are crazy, questioning the need for a hole. We’ve got the hole, and we must fill it!

  17. Pro Libertate

    I daresay that government does a much better job of taking and wasting our money than the rest of us do. In that sense, it is very efficient.

  18. Hazel Meade

    Leftiti: If we’re so marginalized, why are you bothering to argue with us? Surely we are beneath your notice now that your glorious utopian future of central planning is becoming a reality.

    Or are you scared that your victory will be short-lived? Afraid that you haven’t really won the battle of ideas?

  19. We can’t close the hole, think of the unemployment! All of those shovelers employed at the hole, for example…

    Besides, over time, the hole will pay for itself through “hole dividends”, anyway.

  20. Mister DNA

    In Soviet Russia, money throws you in hole.

  21. damon

    You know, I’m not a big fan of Malkin, but she just posted an article at Townhall that is sort of appropriate:

    http://townhall.com/columnists/MichelleMalkin/2008/11/14/hank_paulson,_naked_emperor

  22. And you know, we’ve all benefited from the new technologies developed as part of the hole program. Why, the very intertubes on which we’re posting wouldn’t even exist without the hole!

  23. SIV

    The Onion money hole piece is sponsored by GM.

  24. SIV

    GM should die for what they did to the SAAB marque alone.Someone else will pick up the Corvette and Cadillac pieces.

  25. The hole was dug by free-market fundamentalism and out of control deregulation.

    When did you start taking Republicans at their word? Only when it suits your agenda?

  26. fresno dan

    “The government should pay people to dig holes in the ground and then fill them up (with money).”
    John Maynard Keynes.
    Cool Hand Luke “Not so much”

  27. Lefiti

    FDR lives. Long live Krugman! Barack Obama! Fuck free-market fundamentalist reaganite fucks everywhere!

  28. Strangel

    The money fires would be deflationary only if you assume that the fed is not going to print more. Don’t ever assume that…

  29. JW

    Folks around these parts are pretty anti-hole.

    Hey! Just because I’m pro-choice, doesn’t mean I’m pro-landfill!

  30. Xeones

    FDR lives. Long live Krugman! Barack Obama! Fuck free-market fundamentalist reaganite fucks everywhere!

    CESAR?!?

  31. Famous Mortimer

    Wait, Libertarians have a sense of humor?

  32. No Name Guy

    Excellent piece. Thanks KMW for pointing it out.

    Sometimes, it just takes over the top paraody to point out the obvious (at least, obvious to those with functioning neurons) to dipshits, like Lefiti.

  33. As the Holy Book says, in the Book of Holes, Chapter 1:
    “And they knew not their holes from an ass on the ground.”

  34. Hazel Meade

    FDR lives. Long live Krugman! Barack Obama! Fuck free-market fundamentalist reaganite fucks everywhere!

    I can’t decide which ones are the real Lefitis and which are the fake ones anymore.

  35. Incidentally, they’ve followed this up with the also-brilliant headline, “Supreme Court Upholds Bill of Rights in 5-4 Decision“.

  36. Courtney Love

    Wait, what?

  37. FDR lives. Long live Krugman! Barack Obama! Fuck free-market fundamentalist reaganite fucks everywhere!

    It takes a corrupted worldview to witness what is going on these days and be at peace with it intellectually. I’d suggest that you reevaluate the way you look at the world, but you would probably take offense.

  38. Famous Mortimer

    “It takes a corrupted worldview to witness what is going on these days and be at peace with it intellectually. I’d suggest that you reevaluate the way you look at the world, but you would probably take offense.”

    Libertarians will never be intellectually at piece because at heart, they’re anti-intellectual.

    It’s not apart of their code.

  39. Famous Mortimer

    There’s blood when I wipe.

  40. Pro Libertate

    Libertarians are anti-intellectual? What?

  41. Smart Ass

    Actually, I am a “peace” with myself and find it’s “a part” of my code.

    But then, I’m anti-intellectual.

  42. R C Dean

    Libertarians will never be intellectually at piece because at heart, they’re anti-intellectual.

    Uh-huh. People who came to politics through Ayn Rand (as many did), who argue the merits of von Mises, who study the ratification of the Constitution, who quarrel over the utilitarian argument for libertarianism v. the moral argument v. the natural rights argument, they’re the anti-intellectuals in politics these days.

    The problem with libertarians as a whole isn’t that they are anti-intellectual, its that they’re too intellectual about politics to be effective at it.

  43. P Brooks

    The problem with libertarians as a whole isn’t that they are anti-intellectual, its that they’re too intellectual about politics to be effective at it.

    The problem with libertarians is they’re not real Amerrikins.

  44. It’s going to be filled up by government intervention…

    Yes, exactly, like The Onion said, with money. Very good, Lefiti, you got the joke!

  45. Jim Greenleaf

    If you love America, you throw money at its trolls.

    Seriously. Don’t feed the trolls.

  46. America’s behavior around holes is no wiser than that of the traveling salesman in this rock opera from Mr. Show. Jack Black for president in 2012!

  47. I can’t believe the lack of patriotic duty I’m sensing on this thread. After I watched this video, I took $100,000 out of my account and personally dumped it in the money hole. The money fire from that wad of cash was awesome!

    The rest of you should be ashamed of yourselves. The least you could do is put a few bucks in the soldier hole or the energy hole, Jesus!

  48. Aresen

    Eric Evans | November 16, 2008, 2:40pm | #

    I can’t believe the lack of patriotic duty I’m sensing on this thread. After I watched this video, I took $100,000 out of my account and personally dumped it in the money hole. The money fire from that wad of cash was awesome!

    The rest of you should be ashamed of yourselves. The least you could do is put a few bucks in the soldier hole or the energy hole, Jesus!

    Eric: The next time you feel so patriotic, just call me. You can pull the $100,000 out of your account and give it to me.

    I promise I’d put it in the money hole for you.

    Trust me.

    Really.

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