Third Parties

Ralph Nader, Performance Artist

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From a press release I received this morning:

Special One-hour Press Conference. For the first half of the Press Conference, Mr. Nader will answer all questions with just a one-word response. For the second half of the press conference, foreign press credentialed media will be given priority.

NEXT: Update from an Accidental Swing State

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  1. Poor guy. He’s getting senile (this coming from someone who voted for him this election).

    I think its about time for Nader to hang ’em up after this go-around. He’s older than McCain!

  2. Well, you didn’t think he was a candidate, did you? It’s just nice to see someone still has an appreciation for Dada in this late day and age. I never thought it would be Ralph, though.

  3. Mr. Nader will answer all questions with just a one-word response

    I might have gone with two words, to allow me to respond to questions that call for a more thoughtful and nuanced “Fuck you”.

  4. I might have gone with two words, to allow me to respond to questions that call for a more thoughtful and nuanced “Fuck you”.

    I might have gone with two words just so that became an option.

  5. I might have gone with two words, to allow me to respond to questions that call for a more thoughtful and nuanced “Fuck you”.

    Does a hand gesture count as a word?

  6. Mr. Nader will answer all questions with just a one-word response

    A word that answers all questions must be a pretty versatile word.

  7. Poor Ralph. He is now officially beyond parody. It used to be kinda funt to ridicule him, now it feels like making fun of the mentally disabled.

    Ralph, go home and rest on your laurels.

  8. A word that answers all questions must be a pretty versatile word.

    The all encompassing JEESUS! works for some.

  9. Transcript

    “No.”

    “Yes.”

    “Rooster.”

    “No.”

    “Onomatopoeia.”

    [unintelligible]

    “Imperative.”

    “Escarole.”

    “Yes.”

    [audible sigh] “Poop.”

  10. I might have gone with two words, to allow me to respond to questions that call for a more thoughtful and nuanced “Fuck you”.

    But you have to say it exactly the way Arnold says it to Richard Dawson when he asks him to appear on the next episode of The Running Man. That would be perfect.

  11. “Shazzam!”

  12. P Brooks,

    What if Nader turns into Black Adam? We’d all be fucked then.

  13. Special One-hour Press Conference. For the first half of the Press Conference, Mr. Nader will answer all questions with just a one-word response.

    That is for the American media.

    For the second half of the press conference, foreign press credentialed media will be given priority.

    The rest of the world is able to cope with polysyllables.

    ducks

  14. Aresen,

    I wouldn’t cast stones–America has four syllables; Canada has a mere three. Losers.

  15. Pro Libertate – USA! USA! USA!

    Oh, wait.

  16. The rest of the world is able to cope with polysyllables.

    “I moved here from Canada, and they think I’m slow, eh?”

  17. For the first half of the Press Conference, Mr. Nader will answer all questions with just a one-word response.

    Allen Ludden may be rolling over in his grave concerning this.

  18. I wouldn’t cast stones–America has four syllables; Canada has a mere three. Losers.

    Except, of course, that Canada is part of America. As are Mexico, Venesuela, and the United States.

    Mr. Nader will answer all questions with just a one-word response.

    Unfortunately, we will still have to put up with typical MSM 250-word questions.

  19. LarryA,

    I was being nice, because I like Aresen. It’s actually “United States of America” vs. plain “Canada”. Nine syllables to three.

  20. PL,

    Erm, perhaps that is the big marketing term for the only 3rd world ‘country’ to have a World Series winner, but the real name is KKKnadia.

  21. Dude.

    Dude!

    Dude?

    Dude

    DUDE

    Duuuuuuuuuuuuude.

  22. Worked

  23. for

  24. me.

  25. One word answers? He’d have been better off going with no-word answers, but playing charades, or miming, or interpretive dance.

    Or he could have an old fashioned car horn under his trenchcoat like Harpo Marx did.

    Reporter: “Mr. Nader, what would your policy on immigration be?”
    Nader: waggles eyebrows, A-HOOOOOGA!, looks bashful, winks.

  26. Nader is a great fighter for American civil and consumer rights, as he has always been. He’s also the only candidate who would be a truly democratic president..but if you want to throw away your vote on corporate red or corporate blue, don’t bitch and whine when the future comes and smacks you in the head.

    Stupid, stupid people.

  27. Apparently Nader proposed doing this some time ago and, during a recent “lightning” Q&A in Santa Cruz, he mentioned it might be fun. You can see that in this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnjQz4pp0FY (approximately the 8min mark)

    Yep. That’s the word. Fun!

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