Campaigns/Elections

Bozos On & Off the Bus

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The neocon columnist Charles Krauthammer's endorsement of John McCain today is neither remotely surprising nor remotely persuasive. But I have to admit I got a chuckle out of his lede:

Contrarian that I am, I'm voting for John McCain. I'm not talking about bucking the polls or the media consensus that it's over before it's over. I'm talking about bucking the rush of wet-fingered conservatives leaping to Barack Obama before they're left out in the cold without a single state dinner for the next four years.

I stand athwart the rush of conservative ship-jumpers of every stripe—neo (Ken Adelman), moderate (Colin Powell), genetic/ironic (Christopher Buckley) and socialist/atheist (Christopher Hitchens)—yelling "Stop!" I shall have no part of this motley crew. I will go down with the McCain ship.

On a related note, former Massachusetts governor William Weld has just endorsed Obama. Because of his tolerant stances on abortion, gay rights, and medical marijuana, Weld was hyped in the early '90s as a libertarian Republican. As he swelled the state budget and passed new regulations, he started to look more like an old-fashioned liberal Republican instead. Nonetheless, a couple years ago he nearly served as the New York Libertarian Party's gubernatorial candidate. Maybe Obama will give him an ambassadorship.

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  1. wet-fingered conservatives

    Do I even want to know what that means?

  2. Really, is there much doubt that many of the inside-the-beltway types now backing Obama are doing so for just the reasons stated by Krauthammer – their principles are no match for their fear of being left on the outside?

  3. Do I even want to know what that means?

    Think of licking your finger and holding it up to see which way the wind is blowing.

  4. But I was having so much more fun thinking of lesbians. Conservative lesbians. Dressed like librarians and students at an all girl’s college.

  5. or think about Andrew Sullivan.

  6. It’s tough to decide which candidate is the lesser of two evils. On the one hand, Obama and a Democratic congress will basically turn this country into the former USSR. On the other hand, McCain will get us annihilated in a nuclear war. I think I’m gonna go with Obama, because we at least have a chance to form underground resistance movements and shit. Tough to do that when you’re dead.

  7. These are Republicans, wet-fingered likely has something to do with wetsuits or wide stances…

  8. Ohhhhhhhhh, well that’s not dirty at all.

  9. Ska,

    Self-hating ones, looking for an outlet for their rage.

    I like this thread.

  10. Really, is there much doubt that many of the inside-the-beltway types now backing Obama are doing so for just the reasons stated by Krauthammer – their principles are no match for their fear of being left on the outside?

    Why didn’t the same thing happen during the Clinton Dole election? Did liberals jump ship and start endorsing Bush over Dukakis or Reagan over Mondale?

  11. I will go down with the McCain ship.

    Hopefully that ship will have the rest of the GOP on it.

  12. Today’s economic crisis, like every other in our history, will in time pass. But the barbarians will still be at the gates. Whom do you want on the parapet? I’m for the guy who can tell the lion from the lamb.

    By the way, this is a terrible argument. History has not been kind to presidents that are primarily focused on foreign affairs to the detriment of domestic ones. Exhibit A is Nixon.

  13. I’ll cut you all!

  14. Now that Reason is all but endorsing the pro-wealth-redistribution anti-free-trade candidate Obama, I propose the Reason motto be changed to “Free Lunch, Freedom From Foreign Competition.”

  15. ObamaSupporter,

    Now, now, “B” calm.

  16. Give it, Tawana.

    Another Epic Fail from the race-baiters.

  17. I’m so depressed over this election, I just might cut myself!

  18. Is the headline a Firesign Theater reference?

  19. Did someone say race-baiter?

    It’s those white executives keeping the black man down!

    I’m Barack Obama, and I approved this race-baiting message.

  20. Re William Weld:

    “Maybe Obama will give him an ambassadorship.”

    Or at least a drink. I hear he’s a damn lush. Not that that’s a bad thing.

  21. “””I’m so depressed over this election, I just might cut myself!”””

    Just remember the mirror is the reverse of what people will see. That way you won’t make a backwards B. And don’t cut shallow like you know it will hurt. Cut deep like you were being attack.

  22. I’ll stick with joe’s modification of ska’s interpretation.

    With Baby Oil.

  23. Is the headline a Firesign Theater reference?

    Yep.

  24. I will go down with the McCain ship.

    Please do.

  25. Thanks small fry, you just saved me a lot of investigative work!

    PS: “Box of Danger” just released! See firesigntheatre.com for details.

    End of shameless plug.

  26. I will go down with the McCain ship.

    If only that were not a metaphor.

  27. Today’s economic crisis, like every other in our history, will in time pass. But the barbarians will still be at the gates. Whom do you want on the parapet? I’m for the guy who can tell the lion from the lamb.

    Some who have just returned from the border say
    there are no barbarians any longer. And now, what’s going to happen to us without barbarians? They were, those people, a kind of solution.

  28. I will go down with the McCain ship.

    Please accept this bag of anvils, as a token of my esteem.

  29. Ah, the magic words theory of racial discourse.

    Barack Obama noticed that the suburbs are whiter than the inner city. That’s exactly the same thing as cutting yourself and blaming it on a big, black guy to try to make people scared of black people.

    Cuz they both, like, involve knowing that there are black and white people.

    It must be very frustrating to keep pulling the race-baiting trigger, and have it keep going click.

    Best. Election. Ever.

  30. Of course, when it’s October 24, and you’re trying to find the silver bullet to save John McCain, magic words are all you’ve got.

    Keep up with the Big Story That Will Sink Obama spamming, TallDave.

    Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.

    Best. Election. Ever.

  31. “The financial crisis has made us forget, or just blindly deny, how dangerous the world out there is. . . .

    “Today’s economic crisis, like every other in our history, will in time pass. But the barbarians will still be at the gates. Whom do you want on the parapet? I’m for the guy who can tell the lion from the lamb.”

    What a genius Krauthammer must be! He knows better than all those eggheads who think that the “financial crisis” has nothing to do with the “world out there.”

    For one thing, the world economy is, like, interconnected, man, so that it’s not just the U.S. that’s affected. Iceland is looking for a bailout – *Iceland!*

    Like Obama, McCain voted to postpone the shocks from the crisis by incurring additional debt to nationalize part of the economy. A “world out there” angle is provided by the fact that the bondholders of much of this new debt will be foreign. Many of them will be from China, which (according to McCainiac logic) is one of the barbarians at our gates.

    It seems that Krauthammer, like McCain, is an economic ignoramus who wants very expensive wars and military buildups but who believes that only eggheads need to worry about the mundane details of getting the money needed to finance all this.

    It also seems that straight-talking, country-first, we-must-all-sacrifice McCain isn’t talking about what sacrifices will be needed from the people. What domestic programs should be cut, what degree of inflation would be acceptable, so we’ll have the money to fight all these foreign monsters? I suppose Senator Straight Talk doesn’t want to discuss this, or maybe he’s too stupid to realize that his policies will actually require these kinds of choices.

    Yes, let’s go and Fight Honorable, for Honor and Virtue. Don’t confuse us with a lot of mumbo-jumbo economics about how this has to all be paid for. We are noble warriors who disdain to dirty our hands with such considerations.

  32. Correction: In the third paragraph, “nothing to do” should of course be “something to do.”

  33. The other problem with the story, Bloomfield has the least scary black people of all of pittsburgh. There are far scarier neighborhoods.

    There is no silver bullet to save this one. I, although I won’t love the consequences, will enjoy seeing the GOP go down in flames. Is this the end of race-baiting politics? Will the GOP learn that carhart and pickup truck nation is no more “real” than prius and awareness-loving America? How much more shit-flinging will happen in the next two weeks? What will America look like on Novermber 5th?

    Tune in to find out! Only two weeks until the season finale!

  34. Will no one have enough bad taste to make a joke about Krauthammer saying he was going to “stand athwart” anything?

  35. No, but I will coin the term “ODS” in Krauthammer’s honor.

  36. Is this the end of race-baiting politics?

    Gosh, I sure hope not.

    http://gatewaypundit.blogspot.com/2008/10/obama-race-baiting-video-discovered.html

  37. Sad.

    This is not the whitey-hating Barack Obama I knew.

  38. The black man is stealing my show!

  39. William Weld has just endorsed Obama.

    Jesus Chrysler.

  40. To paraphrase a client

    I feel like I’m at a football game where it’s fourth quarter, forty below, and starting to snow. I don’t really give a shit who wins, I am just tired and cold and want to go home.

  41. Is Reason actually tacitly endorsing Obama because it hates non-isolationism that much? What a joke this magazine has become.

  42. It takes a special sort of illiteracy to interpret Charles Krauthammer’s endorsement of McCain is not persuasive as The magazine I work for is endorsing Obama. Especially when the unpersuasiveness of Krauthammer’s column isn’t the point of the post.

    I do believe that Obama is the lesser evil in this election. But I’m not endorsing him, tacitly or otherwise; if my absentee ballot arrives on time, I’ll be voting for Bob Barr. And even if I were endorsing Obama, I wouldn’t be speaking for reason, which does not make political endorsements and whose staffers and contributors plan to vote for a variety of candidates.

    I apologize to the 99% of our readers who are bright enough not to need this explanation.

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