Large Hadron Collider Live—Presidential Campaign Drones On

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As scheduled, physicists at the European Center for Nuclear Research (CERN) switched on the Large Hadron Collider today, sending a beam of protons into its 17-mile track and the world didn't get swallowed by a black hole or ripped apart by a vacuum bubble. But those who are inclined to worry about such things will correctly point out that those phenomena aren't supposed to happen until CERN researchers smash the protons together later this year. On the bright side, the end of the world would at least cut short our drearily stupid presidential election campaign.

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  1. I’ll bet all of you fools who had end-of-the-world sex last night are feeling pretty stupid.

    Ha ha. Suckers.

  2. Not so fast, Ron. Our “drearily stupid presidential election campaign” is the long-feared vacuum bubble, which will shortly swallow your jaded ass. So long!

  3. the world didn’t get swallowed by a black hole or ripped apart by a vacuum bubble

    Not in this particular universe it didn’t.

  4. http://www.physorg.com/news140161003.html
    “The LHC will increase the energy at which we can study particle interactions by a factor of four. According to present thinking, this should be enough to discover the Higgs particle,” Hawking told BBC radio.

    “I think it will be much more exciting if we don’t find the Higgs. That will show something is wrong, and we need to think again. I have a bet of 100 dollars that we won’t find the Higgs,” added Hawking,

  5. I like the link to the H&R article directly below the one the link is in. I know it’s probably for once it is archived, but it just struck me as funny.

  6. I’ll bet all of you fools who had end-of-the-world sex last night are feeling pretty stupid.

    Side note: best excuse for getting to fifth base. Thanks science!

  7. I’ll bet all of you fools who had end-of-the-world sex last night are feeling pretty stupid.

    So, Joe, good sex isn’t its own reward, or worthwhile solely on its own merits?

    Glad I don’t share your defeatist worldview.

  8. Side note: best excuse for getting to fifth base. Thanks science!

    My day is never complete without a Hershey Highway reference. Thanks, dude. I’m going to ask my boss if I can leave work early because I am done.

  9. Ohai, Tonio.

    joke Audio Help /d?o?k/ [johk] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, joked, jok?ing.
    -noun 1. something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act: He tells very funny jokes. She played a joke on him.
    2. something that is amusing or ridiculous, esp. because of being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation, or person laughed at rather than taken seriously; farce: Their pretense of generosity is a joke. An officer with no ability to command is a joke.
    3. a matter that need not be taken very seriously; trifling matter: The loss was no joke.
    4. something that does not present the expected challenge; something very easy: The test was a joke for the whole class.
    5. practical joke.
    -verb (used without object) 6. to speak or act in a playful or merry way: He was always joking with us.
    7. to say something in fun or teasing rather than in earnest; be facetious: He didn’t really mean it, he was only joking.
    -verb (used with object) 8. to subject to jokes; make fun of; tease.
    9. to obtain by joking: The comedian joked coins from the audience.

    ——————————————————————————–

    [Origin: 1660-70; < L jocus jest]

    -Related forms
    jokeless, adjective
    jok?ing?ly, adverb

    -Synonyms 1. wisecrack, gag, jape, prank, quip, quirk, sally, raillery. Joke, jest refer to something said (or done) in sport, or to cause amusement. A joke is something said or done for the sake of exciting laughter; it may be raillery, a witty remark, or a prank or trick: to tell a joke. Jest, today a more formal word, nearly always refers to joking language and is more suggestive of scoffing or ridicule than is joke: to speak in jest.

    K, bai.

  10. On the subject of last night on Earth sex.

  11. Oh Epi, while you’re here, I caught the season opener of Sarah Connor Chronicles, and I must admit it is much better than last season.

  12. 9. to obtain by joking: The comedian joked coins from the audience.

    I’ve never heard it used that way. Huh.

  13. I’ve never heard of the word “jape.”

  14. I caught the season opener of Sarah Connor Chronicles, and I must admit it is much better than last season

    SPOILER

    Cameron trying to kill John is moderately cool. His loyalty to a machine is creating some interesting dynamics.

  15. Fifth base? Where I come from, we call it an inside the park home run.

    A lot harder to get and a lot more fun to watch.

  16. Cameron trying to kill John is moderately cool. His loyalty to a machine is creating some interesting dynamics.

    SPOILER

    Yah. Also, the creepy mimetic model robot with the scarily human feelings played by a British rock star (methinks David Bowie started a trend). I particularly liked how the comments that her co-workers made indicated that she is attempting to study the wilder, counter-intuitive side of human nature (faith, religion, etc.).

    Also, WTF is up with Cromartie not killing the surprisingly compelling hapless FBI agent? Again and again and again? Is he, like, future-important and thus not to be fucked with?

  17. Also, WTF is up with Cromartie not killing the surprisingly compelling hapless FBI agent? Again and again and again? Is he, like, future-important and thus not to be fucked with?

    I don’t know. Seeing as Cromartie kills pretty much everyone he deals with for more than a minute, it’s either sloppy writing (which has not been a hallmark of this show) or there’s a reason.

  18. “I’ll bet all of you fools who had end-of-the-world sex last night are feeling pretty stupid.”

    Feeling stupid? Nope, it felt great. But if you think sex feels stupid, you’re probably doing it all wrong.

  19. I think for fun they should wait until 2012 and have Mayan flip the switch.

  20. Countries collaborating in the LHC project are Armenia, Australia, Austria, Azerbaijan Republic, Belarus, Belgium, Brazil, Bulgaria, Canada, China, Croatia, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Georgia, Germany, Greece, Hungary, India, Israel, Italy, Japan, Korea, Morocco, Netherlands, Norway, Pakistan, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Russia, Slovak Republic, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Turkey, Ukraine, United Kingdom, United States, Uzbekistan.

    From here.

    For the budget nerds

    The Energy Department and the National Science Foundation said the U.S. contribution — $531 million in several key components, including two particle detectors — was completed on budget and ahead of schedule.

    From here.

    I don’t know about all of you, but I’m certainly looking forward to future experimental results.

  21. But those who are inclined to worry about such things will correctly point out that those phenomena aren’t supposed to happen until CERN researchers smash the protons together later this year.

    On the upside, this bodes well for “later this year.” Yee-haw!

  22. Bailey, you should have transposed two letters of your title so I could do a little Beavis and Butt-head laugh.

  23. Strange, but when the LHC started operating, a bunch of hobbits appeared in my backyard. And an elf, which now lives in the oak tree.

  24. Warty: taint funny!

    uhuhuhuhuhuh…

  25. Hey, everyone, we’ve had a breaktthrough! Joe made a joke. No, Epi, it wasn’t funny, but that’s not the point. He tried.

    Group hug!

  26. You have to start somewhere, Tonio.

  27. Warty:

    Thanks, dude- I LOL’d. 🙂

  28. Joe’s joke was funny – thread winning funny actually.

    That he loves Hitler and hangs out with dog-molesting satanic Muslim communist Democrats does not affect that.

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