Natural Resources

Just When I Wonder If I'm Too Hard on Treehuggers

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…they pull something like this.


Emotional Hippies—Crying Over Dead Trees—Watch more free videos

I love trees, too. But my goodness.

I was very skeptical of the authenticity of this video, and remain mildly so. But Syndee L'ome Grace is real. She's been around the movement for a long time, doing things—like leading "rap sessions" at the 1996 World Vegetarian Conference on "Loving and Coping with Our Meat Eating Friends and Family," getting thanked in The Vegan Sourcebook—which make sitting in the forest mourning dead trees a plausible followup activity.

This cry-in seems to have been sponsored by Earth First! (or some faction thereof), a group known for taking things too far—like car-bombs-and-puke-ins too far. A little wailing in the woods is nothing to these guys.

Via The Chilling Effect

NEXT: More Adventures of the Keystone KGB

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  1. “He gives water to the dead!”

    [Gasp!]

    “Muad’dib!”

  2. His name is a killing word!

  3. Thank God somebody is reporting on this stuff.

  4. I hate hippies as much as the next guy, but isn’t this just shooting fish in a barrel?

    Which come to think of it, is totally not a vegan activity.

    Anyway, KMW, maybe this is too easy? Like showing redneck snake handlers to criticize Christians.

    There are much more insidious things going on with the greens than obviously fringe stuff like this. And I’d say the same thing about the Christ fundies.

    But I understand, it’s so hard not to mock the hippies.

  5. For shame! Epi, quoting the corrupted David Lynch version!

  6. Oh, oh, I just cut down about 10 trees today for firewood. Don’t cry for me, Mother Earth. I’m saving the U.S. by using renewable fuel. I’m on the side of T.Bone, Barack and Johnnie. Now if we could all do this we’d be energy independent.

  7. I’m fickle about those things of which I am a purist. ;0

  8. Oh, oh, I just cut down about 10 trees today for firewood. Don’t cry for me, Mother Earth. I’m saving the U.S. by using renewable fuel. I’m on the side of T.Bone, Barack and Johnnie. Now if we could all do this we’d be energy independent.

    So long as you plant 11 for every 10 you cut down, I’m with you old timer.

  9. Not even in the normal case of mental retardation does the subject seem to enjoy more than anything playing with rocks in the forest and crying over cut down trees. No. It takes a special kind of retardation. It takes a hippie.

  10. We need these guys here in So Cal to mourn the lost trees in the paved creek beds. I ain’t no tree hugger, but why is it that the goal here is to pave over every last riparian environment with concrete? Makes me crazy. The only place we got trees is in the creek bottoms. Stop paving the got dam things.

    Evidence you say?

    See: Grease, the original. That race scene takes place in the concrete LA River.

    I might add that it IS the government doing the paving.

  11. I might add that it IS the government doing the paving.

    To be fair, the last *green* government I’ve seen was playing fucking *Alpha Centauri*.

  12. I’m sorry, but it clearly says in our by-laws that quotes from Dune can only be from the books.

    And no Brian Herbert quotes, either!

  13. I’m always amazed at how those who weep over an ex-tree or refuse to eat a chicken’s egg think little of destroying a fertilized human embryo at any point during its gestation.

  14. That’s because a tree’s got *soul*, while a fetus is just a fucking vegetable. Come on, armchair, groove with the new moral equivalence brigade!

  15. You know, it’s the tinge of Maoist self-grinding that gets me the most, I think. It’s this element of group prostration that gives it a flavor of… I dunno; show-biz.

    Did anybody notice that these assholes are talking to trees? You know: house-bits and toothpicks-to-be.

    That’s the damndest thing.

  16. There is a time for planting and a time for harvesting. Even trees have a shelf life. Left to themselves they will grow crowded, diseased and less useful. They renew themselves, if they have room to grow and we take the time to weed them, much like a garden.

  17. armchair: you’d probably be amazed to learn that they’re rarely the same person. The militant abortionists are rarely the tree hugging types. And the tree hugging types are usually the 23 year old hippie mommas with 4 dirty little kids in tow.

  18. I don’t know about rarely. Do you really think even half of self-identified vegans are on the pro-life side of the spectrum?

  19. Fer fukssakes… is that for real?

  20. So long as you plant 11 for every 10 you cut down, I’m with you old timer.

    Nope, trees are like other forms of life in that many will not live to reach maturity. Plant about 30 of them suckers if you want to cover your ass.

  21. Hmmm … small bunch of eco-terrorists in the mountains.

    15 rounds in my Sig that I carry when I go hiking.

    Coincidence?

  22. Oh, oh, I just cut down about 10 trees today for firewood.

    Damn, if that’s one season, either you burn a hell of a lot of wood or we have a radically different definition of the word “tree.” Burning a good sized tree at a rate of 10/yr, what kind of acreage is your sustainable point?

    Even trees have a shelf life. Left to themselves they will grow crowded, diseased and less useful.

    That’s kind of true across species ::ahem:: “Old” timer. (relax, it’s a joke)

    Seriously, though, it’s fine to say “if more people…” but I don’t think it’s realistic. Take locust, for example, which grows at 1.5′ yr through the general US ave and is a good firewood tree. To me a “tree” is probably 30′, meaning 20 years from plant to harvest. Using an average spread of 20′, that means you’ll get somewhere around 75-100/ac if you’re jamming them together. That means you need to have two acres under “woodlot” with no mortality, so say three with mortality, disease, etc, and cut 10 and plant 10 every year. I guess that’s not so bad to do, I just can’t envision a large number of people maintaining 3 acre woodlots. You’ll need at least an acre of access, house, etc, on top of that, so you’re looking at “mini farms” in urban areas. Not really realistic to think that people in general would do that.

    Please don’t think I’m opposed to what you’re doing, I’m about six months from off grid myself, just pointing out it’s not realistic to think that people on the whole would do it.

    15 rounds in my Sig that I carry when I go hiking.

    Neither of my “woods guns” (10mm and 454 Casull) hold that many, darn it.

  23. [Meat is Murder] [I’m Pro-Choice and I Vote]

  24. Other Matt

    I’m not hiking with those hoglegs

    3-4″ barelled alloy j-frame revolver at most

  25. Leave Chloro alone!

  26. Omigodomigod! Please, somebody, tell me that clip was a hoax! Please!

  27. Curse you, Saruman . . . many of those trees were my friends!

    The Ents are going to war!

  28. Omigodomigod! Please, somebody, tell me that clip was a hoax! Please!

    If not, somebody has been neglecting to take their Thorazine.

  29. Nope, trees are like other forms of life in that many will not live to reach maturity. Plant about 30 of them suckers if you want to cover your ass.

    Fucking A. I was trying to go easy on the old-timer. But, you are right, as usual…;-d

  30. It was real taken from a documentary about extreme earth movements

  31. Whether this particular video is real or not, I have known people like this. I consider myself pro-conservation, but I hate those people.

    Episiarch:

    I believe you meant to write:

    His word shall carry death eternal to those who stand against righteousness.

  32. Winter here comes early, heating season is about 7 months with Dec-Feb being robust heating. The trees I cut today were small, culls if you will. Altogether I’ll use about 5-6 cords in my home furnace. The problem is not re-generation but over generation. The stumps will produce several new trees, 5-6 more each in fact, that will be re-harvested in about 15 years or so (but not by me, in all likelihood).

    I was being facetious, re:more people doing what I do. BTW, I’ll be carrying a .270 Weatherby, come November. They shall not pass.

  33. Other Matt | September 4, 2008, 7:30pm | #
    Neither of my “woods guns” (10mm and 454 Casull) hold that many, darn it.

    Heh … All you .45 and 10mm guy stalk about knockdown power, and it’s true … but nothing like a pile of 9mm rounds for multiple target engagement.

    /SIG 226 by the way

  34. It takes a special kind of retardation. It takes a hippie.

    This is my new favorite line which I will use to annoy friends and family for a while. Unfortunately (ok, fortunately) there are no hippies among my friends and family, so it’s kind of wasted. I work with a semi-hippie, but I like her so I try not to tease her too much. We dared to discuss guns and concealed carry permits a few days ago and she almost cried, so I’m going to leave her be for a while. (It wasn’t me, honestly. It was just the subject in general. Guns really freak her out.) (We live in Texas.)

    anyway. I haven’t watched the clip, but it can’t upset me any more than Harrison Ford’s chest-hair-ripping-as-deforestation-metaphor clip did. Han Solo, the guy who helped kickstart me into puberty (even at 12, Mark Hamill was too sissy for me), letting his saggy man-boobs be de-furred for the sake of Teh Trees. A part of me died when I watched that.

  35. My lame-o-meter just pegged.

  36. Heh … All you .45 and 10mm guy stalk about knockdown power, and it’s true … but nothing like a pile of 9mm rounds for multiple target engagement.

    Dude, a 9 will do some serious damage. You put full house hollow points in your weapon and you are on par with the bigger calibers. And you can use +p stuff and have super fast bullets to boot.

    I’ve shot saw blades with 45s and 9s and they are quite comparable.

  37. So long as you plant 11 for every 10 you cut down, I’m with you old timer.

    No freakin way. If you cut down ten hippies you don’t try to replace them. That’s just crazy talk!

  38. No freakin way. If you cut down ten hippies you don’t try to replace them. That’s just crazy talk!

    There’s no need to replace them, just let nature take it’s course: hippiedom is what happens when normal people are mean to their kids.

    We get a new crop with every generation. It’s like goth, except that they don’t wake up and realize it’s silly after ten years.

  39. sage:

    9mm may be sufficient for your needs, and it has many advantages, but in terms of power it can’t touch the .45 ACP.

    A fully expanded 9mm is hardly bigger and perhaps smaller than a non-expanded .45, and the .45 carries something like 40% more momentum. This may be unnecessary, but it’s disingenuous to suggest that they’re all that similar.

  40. We get a new crop with every generation. It’s like goth, except that they don’t wake up and realize it’s silly after ten years.

    If trees were goth, they’d cut themselves.

  41. Did anybody notice that these assholes are talking to trees? You know: house-bits and toothpicks-to-be.

    That’s the damndest thing.

    Hardly remarkable. I’m sure the sanest among us would have quite a bit to say to the more stubborn trees as we flail away at them with axe and chainsaw. The trouble is when one expects a response.

  42. Oh these people would go absolutely ape shit if they seen what goes on in my woods. Cutting down trees for firewood, furniture, building materials and for – PROFIT. The yearly killing of numerous forest creatures for food. Deer, turkeys, pheasants, quail, rabbits, squirrels, groundhogs and even doves go in the larder. The trapping of fur bearers like raccoons, mink, coyote, bobcats, skunks, badgers, beavers and muskrats in the winter with leghold and body grip traps and even snares. All killed and skinned and sold at the fur auction or kept by me for apparel, blankets or simple decoration. In the spring and summer berries and fruits ripped from the trees and mushrooms torn from the ground. The earth ripped and torn apart so I can plant crops. Evil fertilizers and pesticides are sprayed. Some of them even are applied with evil gas guzzling airplanes or helicopters.

    I tell you it’s a damned holocaust out there. These nuts would totally lose their mud.

  43. having spent most of my 37 years between Santa Monica, Berkeley and Santa Barbara, I can say that this video is 100% legit. funny as shit but definitely not fake.

  44. I ain’t no tree hugger, but why is it that the goal here is to pave over every last riparian environment with concrete?

    I have the same visceral reaction, but it’s tempered a bit by having seen a section of downtown San Jose flooded, and reading some early Los Angeles history.

    The L.A. River had no fixed course — it took a different path to the sea every winter, wiping out a new section of town. You’d think the engineers would have given even the slightest nod to aesthetics or nature, but nobody cared about that stuff back then.

  45. That’s got to be a hoax. If not, then shame on whoever shot this footage for taking advantage of nutcases off their meds.

    -jcr

  46. John Muir would kick those hippies’ asses.

    -jcr

  47. Cactus,

    What part of the country do you live in? I’m scouting around for a nice wooded lot to build house on, and I’d like to use my own trees for it.

    -jcr

  48. I was being facetious, re:more people doing what I do. BTW, I’ll be carrying a .270 Weatherby, come November. They shall not pass.

    Ok, thanks for clarification.

    9mm may be sufficient for your needs, and it has many advantages, but in terms of power it can’t touch the .45 ACP.

    Fist, that’s kind of pretty much crap, though the 45 ACP is a fine military round. A whole bunch of people can attest, or can’t attest, to being on the wrong end of a 9mm. If you do your job, the bullet will do its job, and all the rest of the discussion is just background noise. Second, if you want power, compare the 45ACP with my aforementioned 454 Casull (not a hogleg, more like a hog foot, btw) or even the 10mm (also compact). A 45 might register your complaint with the bear, as might a 40SW, but not near so much as a 44Mag, which in turn is less than the 454Casull. On the flip side, I run 45LC most of the time when not in the wild as I do have some arthritis (Sucks getting older) in my shooting wrist. 9mm is fine for two legged interference.

    What part of the country do you live in? I’m scouting around for a nice wooded lot to build house on, and I’d like to use my own trees for it.

    It’s a nice idea, I’m not good enough with a saw to reduce the timbers. I’d end up with one hell of a sawdust pile and not much usable wood I fear.

  49. I’m not good enough with a saw to reduce the timbers

    Eh, it’s not brain surgery. A couple of hours of practice, and you’d be able to cut a straight line.

    -jcr

  50. C’mon,

    That has to be a fake…..

    Is Lebowski a hippy or not? I was having an argument with my buddy about this. He said yes, I said nope. A hippy doesn’t roadie for Metallica…..

  51. That’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen for years. Thanks.

  52. Ahahaha, that crying is so contrived. Ridiculous shit.

  53. I don’t know why they’re so upset. That tree was a complete asshole.

  54. Urban trees are liability hazards! Blame our lawsuit happy lawyers.
    link (note: the trees are safe for now)

  55. For the trees, every day is 9-11.

  56. And the tree hugging types are usually the 23 year old hippie mommas with 4 dirty little kids in tow.

    Being to stupid to use contraception and too lazy to get an abortion is not the same a being pro-life.

  57. This post makes me think of this.

  58. “The cries of the carrots! You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day, and to them…it is the Holocaust!

  59. A fully expanded 9mm is hardly bigger and perhaps smaller than a non-expanded .45, and the .45 carries something like 40% more momentum. This may be unnecessary,

    Two rule of thumb for choosing handgun calibers:

    (a) Shoot the most powerful one that doesn’t make you flinch. There is no such thing as “overkill” in self-defense.

    (b) If you are going to carry, choose a gun small enough that you will actually carry it.

    Needless to say, these two rules can cut in different directions, leading to compromises. A 9 is a fine compromise, but you shouldn’t use a 9 if there’s a heavier round that you will (a) carry and (b) not flinch.

  60. Wait. Vegans are mourning the deaths of plants? Don’t they exist solely on the slaughter of plants?

  61. Cactus: people eat groundhogs?! That’s hard core.

  62. Points to LMNOP for the Tool reference.

  63. Yay! I get points!

  64. …and-puke-ins…

    Ah, I remember that. What a great time!

    Wait…..that was for a cause?

  65. Yay! I get points!

    They’re redeemable for great prizes, like…uh…posts by Weigel?

  66. If I save up all my points, I can get a jacket just like Gillespie’s!

  67. (b) If you are going to carry, choose a gun small enough that you will actually carry it.

    This advise works for digital cameras too. Also, don’t spend so much money on the thing you are afraid to bang it around while hiking, fishing, picnicing, and on drug binges. A thousand dollar camera (gun, camcorder, etc) is worthless sitting in your closet.

    Is it OK if I laugh at you guys a little? We’re talking about hippies, and yous guys are talking take-down power. Isn’t a .22 overkill for a dirty smelly hippy? By .22, I mean a .22 caliber pellet gun. Empty. Waved around in the air just to show them the wood stock. Maybe it’s too easy for me to be all internet-tough-guy. I’ve never got caught up in a drum circle before.

  68. Redeem points for:

    1. Gillespie’s Jacket
    2. Welch’s Sunglasses
    3. Jesse’s Lisp
    4. Ron’s Monsanto Stock
    5. Weigel’s Hair

  69. the authenticity of this video

    It’s a win regardless. In fact I think it’s better if it is a satire.

  70. Wooooh right there Winthorpe.

    The DUDE is NOT a hippy.

    He’s a slacker, a stoner, an alcaholic and a reprobate — but his is NOT A HIPPY.

  71. Cactus: people eat groundhogs?! That’s hard core.

    Dude. That’s nothin.

    Check it out.

  72. Err. Lets try that one more time.

    Cactus: people eat groundhogs?! That’s hard core.

    Dude. That’s nothin.

    Check it out.

  73. 5. Weigel’s Hair

    I’d rather have Gillespie’s hair. I could use it in lieu of a helmet when I’m on my bike.

  74. Wait, she’s a veggetarian? So she thinks killing trees is evil but killing carrots is OK? That is so speciesist.

  75. I’m praying these fine folks went straight home from their tree-mourning rites and wrote in their journals…made of paper from the very trees they mourned…

  76. …and not only that, SOME OF THEM MADE MEAN COMMENTS IN BLOGS!

    Oh sorry, wrong pseudo-journalism thread. There’s been an awful lot of fluff lately.

  77. I’m not hiking with those hoglegs

    Years ago the kids wanted to climb up to this huge cave way up on the side of a cliff in the Superstitions. There’s big cats around there and the kids were small and I worry a little about the depraved among us.

    It’s tough enough to climb mountain goat trails on loose shale with a three year old and a five year old. Shove an unholstered Ruger .44 mag down the front of your pants and it gets really dicey. Tighty Whiteys do not make a good holster.

    We clambered up. A couple of hikers looked askance as they passed me holding a cherub in one hand and Dirty Harry’s pet handgun in the other. But it ended up being pretty cool.

    I’ll never do that again, guaranteed.

  78. “people eat groundhogs?! That’s hard core.”DaveT:

    Not really. Nice herbivore diet, nice sweet tasting meat. Not too gamy. Really quite good. Had it last week after I whacked a groundhog trying to raid my salad patch. Stealing my arugula and raddicchio is simply unacceptable conduct by a lower species on the food chain. Half of him ended up roasting in the oven along with potatoes, onions, cabbage and leeks and the other half went on the BBQ. Tough skin though which can make them a bit of a challenge for a novice prepare. Probably would make wonderful leather.

    Now eating possum that’s pretty hardcore. Nasty scavenger with a noxious odor alive let alone dead. Yuck.

  79. My dad used to tell me that when I was but a wee thing, I ate possum stew – it was supposedly one of my grandmother’s specialties. I know my dad’s family falls just to the wrong side of the white trash/redneck fault line, but I swear my mother would never have allowed me to eat possum. I’m pretty sure I ate squirrel, tho – one of the old man’s favorite dishes.

    Hub loves to tell stories of his boyhood, hanging out by the neighborhood creek shooting squirrels and frying them – with grubs – for dinner. He and his best friend did this many weekends, to hear them tell it. I always thought squirrels and grubs were what you ate when you were lost in the wilderness, not when you were a 10 minutes walk from your home in suburban Houston, but whatever. Eeeuw.

    The husband really needs to read this blog.

  80. as a former vegan of 7 years, i can tell you there is a large contingent of anti-abortion enviromentalists. those that take the stance of defending “all innocent life” to the next logical step. in fact, the pro-life vegans were way more prevelant amongst the more militant vegans….the hardline movement and all their “natural law” pseudo-religious stuff.

  81. Eat the trees!

  82. I have a big oak out back. After watching this video I am going to cut it down and make a wood car out of it that gets 5 mpg and burns wood for fuel.

  83. A few years ago some wackos held a funeral for a dead tree they even went and read JOYCE KILMERS poeom TREES over it and at the same time they care not for the unborn murdered each year by the prochoice population bomb wackos

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