This is My American Nightmare

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Doing his part to support hope and change, Dave Stewart (the Eurythmics guitar player, not the A's pitcher) lined up his favorite B-list celebrities to record the "Super Bowl Shuffle" of political anthems. "My American Prayer," an embarrassingly dumb paean to the healing powers of Barack Obama, features such notables as Perez Hilton, that guy who played Mobutu Sese Seko Idi Amin Dada, Whoopi Goldberg, Barry Manilow, Margret Cho, George Costanza, and Joan Baez (though, upon closer inspection, it might actually be Camille Paglia). Bruce Vilanch, it seems, is voting McCain. They join in prayer, karaoke to a Martin Luther King speech, and sing one of the worst "celebrity" songs recorded since the sultans of hair metal battled the disasterous economic policies of Mengistu. It's a skin-crawling, wretch-inducing festival of crappiness. And it must be view to be believed:

Over at the Huffington Post, Stewart explains that the songs lyrics were co-written by Bono, which provides some insight into why they are so god-awful.

The eagle-eyed dance hall music fan will note that the song also features the vocal stylings of Jamaican homophobe Buju Banton, whose song "Boom Bye Bye" advocates shooting gay men in the back of the head because "Rude bwoy no promote no batty man."

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  1. Forrest Whitaker played Idi Amin. Did I miss the joke maybe?

  2. Little known fact: Obama’s real father is none other than former Ugandan dictator, Idi Amin.

  3. Perez Hilton, that guy who played Mobutu Sese Seko, Whoopi Goldberg, Barry Manilow, Margret Cho, George Costanza, and Joan Baez

    I already hate it. I don’t need to see no stinkin’ video.

    Life’s too short to subject one’s self to that kind of abuse.

  4. I lasted 19 seconds through that “Hear n Aid’ song. Nineteen.

    “My American Prayer” is a certainly a crappy pop song, but not especially so.

  5. Little known fact: Hit & Run commenter joe is none other than former Ugandan dictator, Idi Amin.

  6. “Rude bwoy no promote no batty man.”

    It’s like Elmer Fudd gone bloodclot gansta.

  7. “My American Prayer” is a certainly a crappy pop song, but not especially so.

    Except that it is about a presidential candidate, which makes it especially sickening.

  8. Jamacian homophobe

    I think you meant “Jamaican homophobe,” or for brevity, “Jamaican.”

  9. I’m with JW. Even joe agrees. Not that I intend to listen to it like him. I was watching that X files episode with the sound that causes horrible pain before your head explodes the other week or so. (shivers)

  10. I can buy that, Marcvs.

    If there was no video or background, it would just sound like ordinary radio pap. That’s what I mean.

    If you’re going to go overtly political, you need to hit a home run.

  11. “Life’s too short to subject one’s self to that kind of abuse.”

    I wish I was as wise as you.

  12. If you’re going to go overtly political, you need to hit a home run.

    See the Gorbachev video from a few weeks back.

  13. I’m not going to watch any “Gorbachev video” that doesn’t include a Reagan impersonator Windex-ing that thing off his head.

  14. *spray spray spray*

    *er-ee er-ee er-ee*

  15. “I was watching that X files episode with the sound that causes horrible pain before your head explodes the other week or so.”

    If only that would happen to me right now.

    Watching that video is worse than being waterboarded.

  16. An example of: 1) The fact that explicitly political art usually sucks. 2) Why it’s a bad idea to take political advice from celebrities. 3) The odd fact that those on the left, so upset over those on the right mixing politics and religion, can get all spiritually gooey over their candidate of the moment.

    And it looks like Baez to me.

  17. Joe,

    Watch it! Stalinist zombies, insanely hot women, and hilarious product placements! You’re gonna want a handjob, some vodka, and a box of twinkies all at the same time.

  18. PapayaSF,

    What about Barbara Streisand? Didn’t she hire her own political advisor in the 00′ election?

  19. Buju Banton is illustrative of a major problem the Democrats have. They are a party of special, often conflicting interests. Black activists such as Louis Farrakhan are often in conflict with feminists and there is a very strong anti-gay sentiment in the African-American community. Yet Democrat politicians always seem to speak as if there is a unity among blacks, women, gays, the handicapped, etc. when there apparently is not.

  20. Fans of ear-defying music will also enjoy The Onion’s list of horrific celebrity charity acts. Oh, and Terence Howard has a new album coming. Warning: yuck.

  21. homophobe Buju Banton, whose song “Boom Bye Bye”

    I thought this was an example of onomatopoeia.

  22. I haven’t seen a worse celebrity endorsement since “Working Out with Whoopi.”

    In fact, I think that’s where Whoopi got her moves for this little number.

  23. Make that “Terrence” Howard. Two R’s, and two very tin ears.

  24. Joss Stone. Pity.

  25. I was waiting for Reason to getting around to discussing this, and it appears they forgot about PamelaAnderson. They also forgot the shot of windfarms. They also forgot to point out the little girl with the sign, and how it’s from an IllegalImmigrationMarch. I guess DaveStewart and Reason have something in common!

  26. OK, I watched the whole thing. At the end, a bunch of rich stars sing “When you get to the top of the mountain, remeber me.”

    Isn’t this the very “Pay for Access” issue I hear complained about so much, or is that not what they meant?

  27. Thanks for the excellent link, Jim Anderson!

    From the description of the 1985 Canadian suckfest, Northern Lights’ “Tears Are Not Enough”:

    “So many mullets. So many moustaches. So much heart.”

  28. I though Barry Manilow was a Ron Paul supporter? Is he a big-gummit liberaltarian now?

  29. Not a bad song, actually. Well, so long as you don’t pay any attention to the lyric. I can see it as an album track on a Dave Stewart solo album. But that video-who are those people?

  30. 1. Is Macy Gray’s Black Sabbath shirt some sort of sly commentary?

    2. Did Barry Manilow have, like, 15 face lifts or something? He seems to have trouble moving his mouth.

  31. One minute and 8 seconds. I almost threw my wife’s laptop out of the window because it wouldn’t pause fast enough.

  32. Not Buju Banton!
    I hope Cutty Ranks is supporting McCain.

  33. Ugh – tried twice now to watch that and extreme nausea overtakes me about 30 seconds in each time. I know candidates can’t always take the blame for the crap their supporters put out, but if Barry-O doesn’t stop getting “endorsements” like this, I think he’s hosed. Bad as America’s become, I don’t think we’re ready to see a presidential election become the anointing of our new god-king.

    Well, the people in this video are, but there’s only so many votes they can buy.

  34. I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth…

    Definitely in need of some Prog Death Metal Rehab after that.

    *fires up Opeth on iTunes*

    Ahhhhh much better.

  35. Dude, WTF. I am was a huge Forrest Whitaker fan (his IA detective in The Shield was fucking great, and let’s not forget his short but excellent role in The Crying Game). And then he goes and does something this ball-punchingly stupid.

  36. Music: not bad! Lyrics are worthless, but aren’t they all. If you don’t watch the video, and turn off the vocals track with your mind, I could totally listen to this while I get a haircut.

    Plus, it’s worth it just glad to know that Dave Stewart, the, who? The gee-tar player for the Sweet Memories are made of Deez band? ..isn’t petting homeless men for a day’s worth of aluminum cans for a living. Oh, good. Gosh, what a nice, full beard.

  37. Well, the pwogglers love it. . God bless them. Lift your hands up.

  38. Margret Cho? I can’t really imagine that hateful bitch getting on the love train.

  39. Dude, Forrest Whitaker is NOT “B List.” You are talking about Bird, Ghost Dog, Charles Jefferson in Fast Times, Amos in Color of Money, Vision Quest, Platoon, Good Morning Vietnam, Crying Game, Species, Twilight Zone host, The Shield, ER, Idi Amin.

    The dudes been doing quality work 25+ years with A list directors and talent.

    This Superbowl Shuffle may be shit, but Forrest is no slouch.

    And I would think most people would know who Dave Stewart is, even if it’s only as “that guy in the group with Annie Lennox.” he’s stayed around.

  40. Jesus Christ…. John McCain should be spreading this shit everywhere!!

  41. Dude, Forrest Whitaker is NOT “B List.” You are talking about Bird, Ghost Dog, Charles Jefferson in Fast Times, Amos in Color of Money, Vision Quest, Platoon, Good Morning Vietnam, Crying Game, Species, Twilight Zone host, The Shield, ER, Idi Amin.

    Don’t forget Panic Room.

  42. And I would think most people would know who Dave Stewart is, even if it’s only as “that guy in the group with Annie Lennox.” he’s stayed around.

    I think not, cosmotarian.

  43. Forrest Whitaker is too good for something like this — when we get to the bottom of this it is likely he was forced to do this with a gun pointed at him. Maybe, that crabby ass bitch who looks like a syphilis zit in motion, Margret Cho, is the one holding the gun on him.

  44. However, you are right, John, Forrest and Oprah are top shelf celebrities. By way of contrast, does anyone know who any of those white people are? Maybe that one thing is Cyndi Lauper?

    In which case, the guy who couldn’t fucking out-riff “uh-huh!” from Missionary Man should set about finding better white friends than Cyndi Lauper. Why not Tiffany of Mall concert fame? Was she too busy?

  45. Just a seemingly forgotten factoid here. This song was not written for Obama. Nor was it written for American Idol as was reported last year. It was written in 2002 by Bono and Dave as a wake up call to the American church about the AIDS epidemic. Bono performed an early version on the Heart of America Tour that he did through the midwest trying to get support for Aids issues. It was also performed by Dave, Beyonce and Bono at the 46664 concert in 2003 (I think).

  46. Typical corporate mainstream trash.

  47. I don’t think the older woman toward the end is Camille Paglia – I have “Break, Blow, Burn,” her latest book, here with me, and the author pic doesn’t match the video at all. Paglia has said in her recent Salon.com columns that she’s pro-Obama, but she has also said in various writings of hers that she’s anti-sappy things, so I can’t imagine she would have gotten involved with something like this.

  48. Air violin. George Costanza “praise hands.” And the whole steaming pile of faunch was long enough to embarrass Michael Bay. Holy shit that was fucking horrible.

  49. Yuck, how distasteful it is when liberals get all gooey and sincere on you.

    The Seinfeld guy doing prayer hands: Yuck. The guy has been a shrill, one-dimensional clown on our screens for years and now he wants us to swallow his sincerity about politics? It’s so funny it’s not even funny.

    And Forest Whitaker: I share the disappointment other commenters have expressed. I loved ‘Ghost Dog’. Why did he do this?

    By the way, if I’m not mistaken Dave Stewart is a Brit and Bono is Irish. So what are they doing writing an “American prayer”? Fuck their smarmy arrogant asses.

  50. heh heh heh heh he said Bono

    heh heh

  51. If the Fairness Doctrine were imposed on Jamaican radio, would some rude bwoy have to promote batty men?

  52. Dude, WTF. I am was a huge Forrest Whitaker fan (his IA detective in The Shield was fucking great, and let’s not forget his short but excellent role in The Crying Game). And then he goes and does something this ball-punchingly stupid.

  53. “Stewart explains that the songs lyrics were co-written by Bono, which provides some insight into why they are so god-awful. ”

    yay!

  54. The Seinfeld guy doing prayer hands: Yuck.
    The guy has been a shrill, one-dimensional clown on our screens for years

    Jason Alexander was by far the most talented actor on Seinfeld. But like most actors he is, evidently, politically retarded. When actors are acting they can be remarkably effective tools of propaganda, regardless of their own personal political philosophies. But oddly, when they’re being themselves, they often come across as inept, naive, uneducated stooges.

  55. SILLY, BOAT-DWELLING PROGLIB. joe IS NOT IDI AMIN. I AM IDI AMIN. AND SO IS JOHN WINGER, AT LEAST WHEN HE’S RESCUING HIS PLATOON.

  56. ? We’re sending our love down a well… ?

  57. BAKED!

    naughty. go nibble thyself upon thine taint.

  58. Dave Stewart. What, was Thomas Dolby unavailable?

    BTW, don’t be hatin’ on Dio, man. “Stars” might not be his best moment, but he’s the real deal, not some hair metal fake.

  59. For people who ostensibly are so tuned into culture and imaging, the folks in this video are clueless.

    Do they not realize how temporal and ephemeral something like this is? Don’t they get how silly and dated and disposable a video like this is going to look down the road? How it’s custom-made for future mocking, held up for ridicule as kitsch?

    God almighty, their lives are so empty and shallow they are willing to sacrifice their own judgment just to pretend like they’re absorbing the sensation of “believing” in something. The whole spectacle is so pathetic, it’s uncomfortable to even think about it for very long.

  60. Does anybody know if a wire brush will cause permenant damage to my eyes and /or ears? actually I think I will take my chances …..

  61. “Joan Baez (though, upon closer inspection, it might actually be Camille Paglia)”. I larfed an’ larfed!

    On a more serious note, there ought to be “a unity among blacks, women, gays, the handicapped, etc”, in that they have solid firsthand experience of cultural secondclassness an’ all; but sadly the oppressed can often be conned into helping with oppression…

  62. Thanks for the link. I forgot what an excellent look afro-mullet with fu-manchu ‘stache was. Now that Chevy is bringing back the Camaro, I expect that look to be back.

  63. WTF. I am was a huge Forrest Whitaker fan…

    Yeah, but if I researched the political leanings of every actor I watched, I’m pretty sure that I would be universally disappointed.

    Incidentally, what is it about acting that attracts politically intellectual imbeciles? A lot of them are smart people, but their politics are god-awful. I guess anyone can be mistaken (including myself), so maybe it’s a lack of expertise and not of intelligence.

  64. Incidentally, what is it about acting that attracts politically intellectual imbeciles?

    They tend to be intellectual imbeciles across the board, not just in politics.

    I think it’s because a) it’s such a difficult industry to break into, emotionally and physically and in every other way, that only the most single-minded of people, committed to the point of obsession and willing to suffer endless personal torment, pursue it, and such people tend not to have a lot of intellectual interests outside of their “craft.” Well-balanced, emotionally stable, secure people with a variety of talents and interests tend not to become actors, and b) once an actor has achieved a certain degree of success, he or she is pampered and indulged and allowed to live in a bubble of such complete narcissism that intellectual development of any kind is all but impossible.

    In other words, only fucked up people tend to pursue acting stardom and if they weren’t fucked up before they became stars, they are almost sure to be afterwards, so it’s not surprising that they are so intellectually shallow.

    Why the left side of the political spectrum appeals to so many of these intellectually crippled and emotionally fucked up wrecks, I leave to someone else to figure out.

  65. Incidentally, what is it about acting that attracts politically intellectual imbeciles? A lot of them are smart people, but their politics are god-awful. I guess anyone can be mistaken (including myself), so maybe it’s a lack of expertise and not of intelligence.

    “I’m not an actor. I’m a movie star!”

  66. In other words, only fucked up people tend to pursue acting stardom and if they weren’t fucked up before they became stars, they are almost sure to be afterwards, so it’s not surprising that they are so intellectually shallow.

    True enough. But sometimes I suspect that the entire artistic community is afflicted (the small sampling that I know has Obamamania in spades), famous or invisible.

    Perhaps its because the arts (performance, graphic, literary) are egocentric careers. There’s nothing wrong with that at all, but people who make money through emotional expression aren’t always the most objective thinkers. There are exceptions, of course.

    Anyway, the most stultified actor in existence should recognize the video above for the musical abortion that it is.

  67. Perhaps its because the arts (performance, graphic, literary) are egocentric careers. There’s nothing wrong with that at all, but people who make money through emotional expression aren’t always the most objective thinkers.

    Word. It’s all about feelings, and self-esteem; I think a lot of them choose their politics based on how it makes them feel about themselves – it really all comes down to them, them, them.

    Remember the “Smug” episode of South Park?

  68. That woman is definitely Joan Baez, not Paglia. I think the comparison might frighten *both* of them!

  69. Do celebs prefer worshiping themselves or Obama?

  70. What are you guys talking about? This song inlcudes the lines “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddles masses.” I thought the folks at Reason would eat that shit right up.

    Honestly, my first reaction to this video was that it *has* to be a parody.

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