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Puma, Puma, Burning Bright

David Weigel | 8.13.2008 11:42 AM

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Jason Horowitz discovers the shining real-life satire of Party Unity My Ass, the political dead-enders who want Hillary Clinton to take the Democratic nomination by coup and seek revenge for her blundering, mismanaged campaign that blew a 30-point lead the orchestrated sexism that denied America's grateful children a Clinton Restoration.

The mostly female collection of activists who continue to rally around the cause of a decommissioned White House bid can't exactly be described as an organized movement. There are the wealthy donors who work within official party channels and talk calmly about reforming the party's nominating process or protecting against gender bias in future elections. Their level of hostility toward the Obama campaign varies. And then there are the outright rejectionists: the raucous bloggers and founders of groups like PUMA (Party Unity My Ass) who plan to disrupt the convention and have declared all-out war against Mr. Obama and his supporters, who they accuse of making death threats and leaving dead bunny rabbits on doorsteps in the middle of the night.
…

Recently, several of them met privately with Senator Chuck Schumer, who runs the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee. According to a number of attendees and sources with direct knowledge of the meeting, their purpose was to lobby Mr. Schumer about introducing a new code of conduct for Democratic candidates that would officially declare gender bias as offensive as racism, and to encourage him to make it the official position of the party not to deal with media outlets perceived to be trafficking in misogyny. [ed-Which explains why they only get booked on Fox News, home of jokes about Obama's "baby mama."]

"It was productive," said one attendee.

I had to leave town for a wedding this weekend and, sadly, missed the first PUMA convention. You'll recall that this had been advertised as a pow-wow at a five-star hotel, and that only the first 250 attendees would get a discount—so act fast! Diane Tucker was there, though, and discovered that they'd left the hotel. Horowitz has the reason: Only 60 of them showed up, and they decamped to a disclosed location near Dulles.

The meeting was closed to the press, organizers said, to avoid infiltration by Obama sympathizers.

Still, that's a hell of a movement: All this media coverage and only able to draw 20 percent as many supporters as they asked for to a pre-convention strategy session. Meanwhile, Ron Paul supporters are still taking over state GOP conventions… but there's no silly Clinton conspiracy angle to cover, so, no Fox News interviews for them.

What other ways can we gauge PUMA strength? A month ago, I noticed that its Facebook group only had 456 members. Today it has: 572 members. That's less than 10 percent of the ticket sales (so far) for Ron Paul's Minneapolis rally.

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NEXT: His Royal Highness, the Dunce of Wales, Speaks Against Biotech Crops

David Weigel is a contributing editor at Reason.

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  1. Nigel Watt   17 years ago

    Hopefully fun things will result at the national GOP convention, but I doubt it. Still amusing to see local Republican machines get shocked.

  2. joe   17 years ago

    The head of the PUMAs was the woman who led the charge against letting Sally Hemmings' descendants attend the Thomas Jefferson Family Reunions.

    Which semms appropriate.

  3. Occam\'s toothbrush   17 years ago

    Isn't "puma" another name for a cougar?

    Just trying to figure out the connection between the acronym and Hillary.

  4. PC   17 years ago

    So Hillary is P.U.M.A. and Bill is A.D.I.D.A.S.?

  5. Citizen Nothing   17 years ago

    Occam,
    Yeah, I always made that puma/cougar connection too.

  6. I bet they didn\'t think of th   17 years ago

    Black panthers are pumas.

  7. Andonamuss   17 years ago

    Is it PUMA or COUGAR? Never mind, damn toothbrush.

  8. SugarFree   17 years ago

    I always made that puma/cougar connection

    Just make sure to wrap the tiny Citizen in his own little flag. Dry cooters can still carry diseases.

  9. Zombie Vince Foster   17 years ago

    Just make sure to wrap the tiny Citizen in his own little flag. Dry cooters can still carry diseases.

    Trust me, it's not worth it.

  10. Episiarch   17 years ago

    Isn't "puma" another name for a cougar?

    Yes, also mountain lion and painter too.

    I would bet big money the geniuses behind PUMA have no idea what a "cougar" is and how it might go PUMA -> cougar -> Hillary in people's minds.

  11. Naga Sadow   17 years ago

    Hillary is considered a cougar now? Standards have fallen in my time.

  12. Piet Mondrian   17 years ago

    "Yes, also mountain lion and painter too."

    Leave me out of this.

  13. R C Dean   17 years ago

    Hillary is considered a cougar now?

    Hey, I'm trying to eat my lunch here! Have a little consideration!

  14. Stevo Darkly   17 years ago

    Black panthers are pumas.

    Actually, this is incorrect. Animals called "black panthers" are usually just black leopards. Not a different species; leopards are just born black sometimes. The condition is known as melanism. It's like being an albino but in reverse, sort of.

    Jaguars are black sometimes, too, but I don't know if they are ever referred to as "panthers."

    However, while pumas are also known as cougars, panthers, mountain lions, painters, etc. etc. there has never been a documented case of a black (melanistic) puma.

  15. I bet they didn\'t think of th   17 years ago

    Now I know.

    Thanks Mr. Darkly.

  16. smacky   17 years ago

    declare gender bias as offensive as racism

    It isn't? Kind of seems like the same thing to me, really: judging a person on characteristics that they were born with.

    I personally consider them equally offensive.

  17. R C Dean   17 years ago

    there has never been a documented case of a black (melanistic) puma

    I could have sworn a saw a movie about black cougars. Something about Stella and her groove?

  18. Tharms   17 years ago

    This claim of victimization is laughable coming from people who, while carefully avoiding any outward appearance of being so themselves, explicitly targeted their campaign efforts to appeal to the (much larger than expected) last populations of racists in the Democratic party. They should be quashed quickly and decisively if the Democrats don't want to see their brand as tattered as the GOP's. (Not that I'll mind if it is left in shreds.)

  19. Episiarch   17 years ago

    Kind of seems like the same thing to me, really: judging a person on characteristics that they were born with.

    Yeah, but what if somebody is born with "666" somewhere on their body? Can we judge them then, Damien-lover?

  20. Notyoursweetie   17 years ago

    So, if PUMA is so insignificant, what does that make you, our trackers who lost our trail and still try to find us after we're gone?
    Sorry I couldn't see your faces as you hopped from place to place. if thinking we're unimportant gets you through the night, by all means stay with it.
    Just know - what we reject is stolen elections and abusive attitudes. Such as yours.

  21. kinnath   17 years ago

    Whenever I see an article on the PUMAs, I am reminded of the fake athletic shoe advertisements showing a women kneeling in front of a well-dressed man with an interesting substance spilled on her Pumas.

    I doubt that is the association these shrill feminists would like me to make. But, I'm a man, so I am already guilty of sexism.

  22. kinnath   17 years ago

    oh we're not gonna take it
    no, we ain't gonna take it
    oh we're not gonna take it anymorewe've got the right to choose and
    there ain't no way we'll lose it
    this is our life, this is our song
    we'll fight the powers that be just
    don't pick our destiny 'cause
    you don't know us, you don't belong

    oh we're not gonna take it
    no, we ain't gonna take it
    oh we're not gonna take it anymore

    oh you're so condescending
    your gall is never ending
    we don't want nothin', not a thing from you
    your life is trite and jaded
    boring and confiscated
    if that's your best, your best won't do

    That's just hilarious sweetie.

  23. John C Jax   17 years ago

    PUMA's members are 10% of Ron Paul's and they are 10 times as racist.

  24. zerg   17 years ago

    whoa, wait...
    hillary is trying to bone 17-25 year old ron paul supporters?

  25. prolefeed   17 years ago

    If they called for a COUGAR convention instead of a PUMA convention, they'd get way more attendees -- all guys (well, maybe a few lesbians).

  26. Red Sarge   17 years ago

    Aint no such thing as a puma!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sx_3m-FhAI&feature=user

  27. GILMORE   17 years ago

    seriously, these PUMA types really do justify the use of the phrase "dumb cunts" as common nomenclature

    and no, it's not like, equivalent to racism. you're just dumb cunts who deserve every bit of disdain you receive.

  28. bernard mahoney   17 years ago

    what are they not gonna take these puma suportors are they not gonna take a democraticly elected candidate . they are insane all 60 of them . bernard go obama 08 he better becouse mcain is a dummer version of george bush , he now wants to take on ruaaia and all their nukes lol lol lmao sadly the media says nothing.

  29. bernard mahoney   17 years ago

    dont worry we wont invade russia we dont take on other nations that could beat us up we are cowards and bullies we go to war with countrys that we cant loose two like iraq . mcain said civilized nations dont invade other nations in the 21 century who the hell is he kidding what was iraq what was afganastan that mcain was right behind . and the corpret owned mainstream media say nothing becouse they must obay their republican boses and their boses are told bye their republican owners what to print . a free and fair press in america dont kid your selves . the only reason mcain even hangs on against obama is becouse of the media .for example mcain moves up 2 points in the polls the media makes a big deal about it . obama has lead all but a hand full of the polls since the primaries there have been over 120 polls taken obama leads in them all except only about 5 . and the meain stream media say nothing if it was mcain leading all these polls they would make it front page news . so are they biased towards the gop hell yes . bernard.ps cnn , fox , cbs , etc can go to hell. thats why most now go to the net for election coverage .

  30. michael   17 years ago

    mcain says we are a civilized nation that civilized nations dont invade other nations in the 21 century . mcain civilized nations tont torture like the us and like you voted with bush to legalize torture , we keep people in concentration camps with no trial becouse we are civilized im gonna puke at this man . and bernard above is right why do you in the mainstream media say nothing . you say nothing when the gop pass un american laws like torture not giveing people a fair trial how un american is that . shame on the media shame on the gop and mcains hypocracy how uncivilized are they . michael sure .

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