Campaigns/Elections

Conventions!: Serving One Nation by Securing a Prosperous Future You Can Believe In

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balloons you can believe in

The Politico fills us in on daily themes for both parties' conventions. Enjoy the exercise in compare-and-contrast below:

MONDAY

Democrats: One Nation

Republicans: Service

TUESDAY

Democrats: Renewing America's Promise

Republicans: Reform

WEDNESDAY

Democrats: Securing America's Future

Republicans: Prosperity

THURSDAY

Democrats: Change You Can Believe In

Republicans: Peace

***

UPDATE: In the the spirit of the poly- versus monosyllabic showdown above, I offer you Matt Welch's in-depth analysis of the candidates in the 2000 election by way of their answers to questions about baseball. Sample exchange:

"What do you think of domed stadiums?"

"Gore: 'The design and construction of domed stadiums—in Seattle (the Kingdome was the first free-standing current dome ever built), Houston (the Astrodome was the first stadium to use astroturf) and Minnesota (the Metrodome is the only stadium in the USA whose roof is suspended without beams or rods—it's supported by air pressure), for example—have been feats of architectural and engineering excellence. But the real measure of any stadium, domed or otherwise, is how much fun you have inside.'

"Bush: 'I like to go to baseball games outside.'"

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  1. Friday:

    Democrats: Power to Unions
    Republicans: Faggot Stomping

  2. “Peace”? Really.

    Aside from that though, it is amusing how closely the agendas correlate.

  3. Andy,

    I don’t know. Even before I asphyxiated on Peace, I started chocking on Reform. Reform what exactly? And why start now?

  4. I give this one to the Republicans. One word themes are better than phrases.

    My four-day themes (if I could have a convention):

    Minimalism
    Reduction
    MYOB
    Cancelled … ’nuff said in days 1-3

  5. Warren-

    My bet is that’s the day McCain tries to salvage his former (totally BS) reputation as a reforming outsider.

  6. MONDAY

    Democrats: One Nation

    I guess John Edwards had nothing to do with the daily themes.

  7. As an aside, any one think “change we can believe in” is going to bite Obama in the ass once he’s actually President? He’s setting a higher standard for himself, and by association his party, and I don’t think either are going to be able to come any where close to meeting it. Or will he be another Teflon President, a la Reagan and Clinton?

    /Vote Libertarian!

  8. “balloons you can believe in”

    If that were the convention theme, and it included the kind of “balloons” that it should, the conventions would be a lot more interesting and popular.

  9. I’m assuming that a printing error caused the “War Is…” prefix to the Day 4 RNC Convention theme to be omitted.

  10. Wait. What?

    You guys are gonna have another election? And what is this I hear about two parties?
    I thought Barack Obama just won the Republocratic nomination for president, but Hillary McCain would not give up yet (though the media really don’t want to cover this case, all power to The Party)?

  11. FRIDAY

    Democrats: Performing Lobotomies With a Spoon

    Republicans: Preparing for the Apocalypse

  12. Andy Craig (or anyone) – What victorious candidates do we know who were damaged by failing to fulfill a campaign promise? (Sincere question.)

  13. I give this one to the Republicans. One word themes are better than phrases.

    …especially if your base has difficulties reading to begin with.

    **Former Republican

  14. FRIDAY

    Democrats: Dream of America

    Republicans: The Power of the American Spirt

    Libertarians: How to borrow your mom’s van so you can go to the Pok?mon tourney

  15. FRIDAY

    Democrats: Maintaining a Veneer of Non-Corruption
    Republicans: Corruption is Patriotic!

  16. Where is RainbowPuppyIsland . . How do I vote if I can’t find RainbowPuppyIsland?

  17. Andy Craig,

    The election isn’t until November. there is a %50 chance the only thing biting Obama in the ass is going to be the Clinton Machine screaming “We told you so!”.

    One word themes win hands down. I’m suprised the Dems didn’t fit “America’s Working Families” in there somewhere.

    If anyone ever has a legit transcript of Bob Barr saying “working families” before November please let me know so I can not vote.

  18. Sunday
    Democrats: We Got a Negro
    Republican: They Got a Negro

  19. Republicans talking about peace?

    WTF?

  20. MONDAY
    Democrats: One National Socialism
    Republicans: Selective Service

    TUESDAY
    Democrats: Renewing Breaking America’s Promise
    Republicans: Reformwriting the Constitution

    WEDNESDAY
    Democrats: SecurMortgaging America’s Future
    Republicans: ProspeShitty

    THURSDAY
    Democrats: ChangeIdentity Politics You Can Believe In
    Republicans: PeaceBomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran

    * fixed *

  21. Oh boy, a chance to use my word of the day.

    The Democrats are obviously more loquacious* than the Republicans.

    *Loquacious
    PRONUNCIATION:

    (lo-KWAY-shuhs)

    MEANING:
    adjective: Talkative; wordy.

    ETYMOLOGY:
    From Latin loqui (to speak). The word loquacious has a negative sense, but a positive word to come out of the same Latin root is eloquent.

  22. “Peace”? Are you serious?

  23. BTW, if the balloons fail to drop properly and on time after McCain’s speech, he loses the election badly.

    Happened to McGovern, Mondale, Dukakis, and Dole at their conventions. Some kind of curse, I guess.

  24. Monday: Grunt

    Tuesday: Fear

    Wednesday: Bomb

    Thursday: 9/11

  25. Monday: Class Warfare

    Tuesday: Tax Hikes

    Wednesday: Identity Politics

    Thursday: HOPE!

  26. I take it the party favors are comprised entirely of antacid.

  27. Between service and peace the Republicans did manage to come up with the only themes specific enough to be worthy of fear (I don’t trust anybody taking about serving unless they’ve got a drink menu with them.) or confusion (is the subtitle “And how to avoid it”?). I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing.

  28. Democrats: Wordy euphemisms for social engineering
    Republicans: One word ironies

  29. They could just put down “groupthink” for each session and be done with it.

  30. I think the republicans meant to say…

    Peace, through war.

  31. In keeping with the Republican idea of Peace, did anyone else laugh at GWB’s response to Costa’s question about the Russia/Georgia conflict?

    It was just interesting to me that here we are, you know trying to promote peace and harmony, and we’re witnessing a conflict take place.

    It’s not like the US is involved in any ourselves, the great, peaceful nation we are.

  32. Monday:
    How to balance a checkbook

    Tuesday:
    Stop whining

    Wednesday:
    Taking responsibility for your actions

    Thursday:
    Mind your own fucking business

    Friday:
    Tequila shots and wet tshirt contest

    Politicians and voters are equally welcome.

  33. At least the Dems agenda can be easily converted into a single slogan (or perhaps a subliminal message):

    “One nation, renewing America’s promise, securing America’s future (with) change you can believe in.”

  34. anarch-

    Read my lips, no new taxes.

  35. Gore’s making shit up again. The Astrodome was first by a decade.

  36. Strategery.

    Lockbox.

  37. The Astrodome was first by a decade.

  38. The Pantheon was first by a couple of millennia.

  39. first what? domed stadium?

  40. Monday: Grunt

    Tuesday: Fear

    Wednesday: Bomb

    Thursday: 9/11

    Monday: War
    Tuesday: Famine
    Wednesday: Pestilence
    Thursday: Death

    The question of which party I leave to the reader…

  41. Al Gore always was a long-winded SOB.

    -jcr

  42. I would love this :
    The Violent Femmes “Dance Motherfucker, Dance!” is used as the theme song at the Dems convention – after the final words of his accceptance speech, the song is struck and Obama starts to jig wildly on stage and the 50,000 plus starry-eyed onlookers follow suit.
    Meanwhile, Wolf Blitzer looks on and can only muster this response – “Amazing. Amazing.”

  43. The Republicans once again demonstrate why they are the party of ownage with pithy one word themes vs clunky phraseologies obviously made in commitee.

  44. Monday: Jealousy
    Tuesday: Envy
    Wednesday: Greed
    Thursday: Pride
    Friday: Sloth

    -jcr

  45. america elected the gritty one liner dude instead of the too-nerdy, over eager intellectual. how did that work out?

    morans get the government they deserve.

  46. Saturday evening:

    The Reverend Mike Huckabee will heal the sinful John Edwards by making him bob for apples at the bottom on an inflatable swimming pool furnish by the Karbunckle brothers of Peoria Illinois.

  47. anarch,

    What victorious candidates do we know who were damaged by failing to fulfill a campaign promise?

    Read my lips….

  48. Interesting how the republicans have adopted Paul’s rhetoric of Peace and Prosperity…and interesting how parties have ignored any topic connected to “Freedom.”

  49. the Rs would get more traction if they had Piece day.

  50. Oh boy, a chance to use my word of the day.

    The Democrats are obviously more loquacious* than the Republicans.

    “Yeah. Zoe’s terse. I can be terse. Once, in flight school, I was even laconic!”

  51. Gore’s making shit up again. The Astrodome was first by a decade.

    Plus the Metrodome isn’t the only domed stadium supported by air pressure. The Carrier Dome in Syracuse is the same way.

  52. Democrats: We will negate your liberties.
    Republicans: Negate your liberties we will.

  53. Way to prove your point by misspelling moron.

    Remember: Al Gore didn’t invent the internet, but he did make up global warming.

  54. Is Larry Craig doing the ‘service’ keynote speech?

  55. Also: I bet that the highlight of GOP nomination night will be a big SUV drop.

    Hell, why not? There’s plenty of unsold inventory to unload, and the GOP are so stupid the massive head injuries won’t be a problem.

  56. Time to get our hearts and minds right, and make today the best day ever, because it will never come again!

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