Friday Funnies

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  1. Does anyone have a link to the last funny Friday funny?

  2. Taxicab Passenger: (dejected) I draw political cartoons, but I can’t sell them.

    Judd Hirsch as Alex Rieger driving cab: (thinking he may have someone to give his donation to) I love political cartoons, can I see one? (pulls his cab over)

    (Passenger hands over portfolio)

    Hirsch: Ok… let’s see… It’s Uncle Sam and the Russian Bear…

    Passenger: …and??

    Hirsch: …and… they’re looking at each other…

    Passenger: …and??

    Hirsch: …a… they’re angry…

    Passenger: …AND??!!??

    Hirsch: …so… you’re saying the US and Russia don’t like each other?

    Passenger: (grabs back portfolio) There! Was *that* so hard?!?

    Hirsch: (drives away, knowing he won’t be giving his donation to this guy)

  3. Who is signing all this girlie man legislation?

  4. Rename “Friday Funnies” contest…

    How about: “Friday’s obvious observation, illustrated”

  5. I don’t get that kind of subtle humor.

  6. Two elephants were setting in a bathtub, and the first elephant said “Can you please pass the soap?”

  7. Ladies and Gentlemen,

    Mr. Foghorn Leghorn:

    Lookit here son, I say son, did ya see that hawk after those hens? He scared ’em! That Rhode Island Red turned white. Then blue. Rhode Island. Red, white, and blue. That’s a joke, son. A flag waver. You’re built too low. The fast ones go over your head. Ya got a hole in your glove. I keep pitchin’ ’em and you keep missin’ ’em. Ya gotta keep your eye on the ball. Eye. Ball. I almost had a gag, son. Joke, that is.

  8. …and the second elephant said, “No soap, radio!”


  9. If you put a duck in a joke, it becomes 15% funnier. It’s true. For example, “Why did the duck cross the road?” or “This duck walks into a bar…”

  10. Two ducks are sitting in a bathtub. The first duck says, “Can you please pass the soap?” And the second duck says, “No soap, radio!!!”

    I dunno, I think elephants are funnier.

  11. What did the snail say when he climbed on the turtle’s back?

  12. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

  13. What time is it when it’s time to go to the dentist?

  14. Tooth-hurty!

  15. Oh my god make it stop.

  16. …what do you call your act?

    “The Aristocrats!”

  17. Back when Rocky was guv, we used to like to call New York “The Vampire State.”


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