Government Spending

MOTHER-Mucking Senators

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As I noted in my column, one of the bills Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid included in the omnibus legislation that Republicans blocked on Monday was the MOTHERS Act. MOTHERS is supposed to stand for Mom's Opportunity to Access Health, Education, Research, and Support for Postpartum Depression. But it doesn't. The acronym for that would be MOAHERSPD, which is not quite as catchy. This is yet another illustration of a sad decline in legislative names, which seem to be getting lamer and lamer in recent years. 

Seven years ago, when the sponsors of a post-9/11 anti-terrorism bill dubbed it the Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act, I thought the name was ridiculously contrived. But at least the acronym actually fit. Likewise the PROTECT Our Children Act, also included in Reid's package; the bill's full name is the Providing Resources, Officers, and Technology to Eradicate Cyber Threats to Our Children Act. Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-Fla.) gets credit for putting some thought into her acronym, although she loses points for simply ditching an inconvenient word in the abbreviated name, which really should be the PROTECT to Our Children Act.

By contrast, with the Mom's Opportunity to Access Health, Education, Research, and Support for Postpartum Depression Act, introduced by Sens. Robert Menendez (D-N.J.) and Richard Durbin (D-Ill.), we've got an awful name that generates a terrible acronym. Still, at least their staffers made a half-assed attempt at a memorably demagogic name. Not so Rep. James Sensenbrenner (R-Wis.), whose REAL ID Act includes a completely bogus "acronym" that does not stand for anything except his desire to trick people into believing he came up with a ridiculously contrived name that generates an evocative acronym. REAL is a fake.

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  1. Actually Lol, Jacob.

    What a wonderfully ridiculous subject.

  2. Yeah the acronyms are bogus, but no more so than before they became fashionable. Bills would have some long dry title but everyone would call them by some pithy name. Like a bill require the execution of every first born male would be called “The Parental Assistance Bill”.

  3. Oh what fun we could have with a REASON Act. Any takers?

    Replace Every Asshat Senator On November 4?

  4. Why would my legislator even consider voting against patriots, mothers, real IDs and protecting our children.

    I’m going to write a strongly worded letter…

  5. Oh what fun we could have with a REASON Act. Any takers?

    Restore Every Amendment Since Obama’s Near Act…

  6. First Commandment: Thou shalt not strain at GNATS (Garish Name Acquisition Techniques)

  7. Jacob, are you saying you’re against mothers?

    I think it’s pretty clear that anyone who doesn’t like a bill called MOTHERS must hate mothers.

  8. Likewise the PROTECT Our Children Act,

    Won’t someone please think of the children??

  9. Ridiculous Egregious Acts Should Overwhelmingly (be) Negated

  10. I remeber reading about some legislative aides in the 60’s who used to pass the time by making up names for bills that no congressman could vote against. The winner was something like the “Christian Workingman’s Anti-Communist Act.”

    Thirty years later, a bill with that name could only get Sam Brownback’s support.

  11. Jacob,
    With this piece, you are mocking American mothers.

    Go to your room!

  12. Oh please. Everyone knows that if your against the Federal Uniform Cthulhu Kindergarten Offender Financial Freeze Act, you’re for raising children as devil worshipers!

    How could you be against the seizing of assets of Satanists? You’re not one of them, are you?

  13. It would be so much better if only the opponents of bills and ballot initiatives got to name them. The Pork Barrel and Iraq Quagmire Funding Act, the Internet Privacy Intrusion Act, the Bailing Out Congress’ Investment Portfolios Act, the Pandering to Unskilled Workers Act, the Pandering to Intolerant Fundamentalists Act, etc.

  14. Bipartisan Legislation Offering Wholesome Merchandise to Everyone.

  15. Oh what fun we could have with a REASON Act. Any takers?

    Really Egregious Acts of Silly Off-topic Nonsense

  16. Revenue Enhancers Are Socialism’s Omnipresent Need.

  17. Oh what fun we could have with a REASON Act. Any takers?

    Reason Suspended Using Certain Kinds of Substances Act

  18. Upon viewing this article, I intend to introduce the Retroactive Enabling Act to Stop Observant Newsmen to empower the President to clean the Internet of this seditious attack on the good name and reputation of the United States Congress.

  19. Reproductive Enhancement for Sexual Orgasm Needs

  20. Reason Suspended Using Certain Kinds of Substances Act

    That made my afternoon.

  21. Reproductive Enhancement for All Sexual Orgasm Needs

  22. Occam: I was about to suggest “Amazing”, but then I got a phone call.

  23. Randians Experience Awakenig; Scuttle Objectivist Nonsense.

    No offense to Ayn Randian.

  24. libertymike wins, for either @ 2:45 or @2:59.

  25. libertymike wins, for either @ 2:45 or @2:59.

    2:45, definitely.

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