Russia to Emo Kids: I'll Give You Something to Pine About

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My heart hurts

Driven to the brink of unhappiness by repeated listenings of "Sowing Season," by Brand New, the members of Russia's Duma are mulling over legislation to ban emo and gothic dress in public schools and government buildings. And the emo kids? Well, they're not gonna take it:

The weekend saw mass protests by Russian emo kids.

In Krasnoyarsk, Siberia, where laws are already being implemented, protestors in a march held signs saying "A Totalitarian State Encourages Stupidity".

Dmitry Gilevich of Russian emo band MAIO stepped in backing the protests, saying: "Expressing psychological emotions is not forbidden by law."

Why does the whole world hate psychological emotions?

Managing Editor Jesse Walker wrote about anti-emo pogroms here.

Hat tip to Emo Paul @ TFS blog. 

NEXT: This Week in Innocence

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  1. “My heart hurts”

    HAHAHA

  2. Will the provision be called “Cut your hair and get a job, hippie!” be used? That would be bitchin’!

  3. Without the emo kids, jocks will have nobody to beat on but geeks.

    And I’m not in favor of that.

  4. I’m with you LMNOP. If we protect the rights of emos, everybody’s rights will be protected.

  5. A Totalitarian State Encourages Stupidity

    Well, that’s true.

  6. You’ve opened my eyes Elemenope! I’ll start mass emailing the Duma.

  7. And we’ve got the “Find Your Russian Beauty” ad again, presumably because they can’t find any emo-oriented advertisements.

  8. I think we’ve found the area where the United States government does not have enough involvement in. Banning emos.

  9. A Totalitarian State Encourages Stupidity

    These emo brats either have a remarkable knowledge of Nietzsche (which is not, like, out of the realm of possibility), or are just super extra lucky.

    “One pays heavily for coming to power, for power makes stupid” (Twilight of the Idols)

  10. Without the emo kids, jocks will have nobody to beat on but geeks

    There are still the goths, nerds, and freaks. It’s a target-rich environment. However, when emos are outlawed, only outlaws will have Jimmy Eat World albums.

  11. Ah, tightly conforming non-conformists. As I get older, the funnier it becomes. Delicious.

  12. There are still the goths, nerds, and freaks.

    When and where I grew up, the goths were armed, the nerds were respected (!), and the freaks saved everyone the trouble by beating themselves up with razorblades.

    I guess different backgrounds leads to different perceptions.

  13. The “Emo” movement?! It’s shocking to think that this guy is the charismatic leader of troubled youth that Charles Manson was 40 years ago.

  14. What are “psychological emotions”? And how are they distinguished from non-psychological emotions?

  15. I have never seen an emo kid that looked that strange, but I doubt that one’s from Russia. What do emo kids from Russia look like?

  16. Isn’t this like mandating daily beatings for masochists? Don’t emo kids require institutional repression in order to function properly? Really, isn’t the government doing them a favor?

  17. Emo kids held a protest?
    What did they do, stand around and cry? Then threaten to cut themselves?

  18. As I get older, the funnier it becomes.

    These days, whenever I see an emo kid (or goth, or what have you), I have to fight the urge to run up to them, pinch their cheeks, and say in my best baby-talk voice “Awwww… look at the cute wittle emo! Idn’t he cute? Awwww!”

  19. Will the provision be called “Cut your hair and get a job, hippie!” be used? That would be bitchin’!

    Make them wear a tie, comb their hair, and sit in a cubicle for 40 hours a week to pay their mortgage.

    If they’re that depressed about high school life now, that oughta drive them to suicide in a week. Problem solved.

  20. Well we’re trying to ban hoods with our anti-saggy pants laws……..

  21. I don’t think emo kids are real, I’ve never even seen one.

  22. I propose banning angular haircuts.

  23. Is this really any more totalitarian than Florida public schools banning saggy pants?

  24. First they came for the Emo Kids, and I didn’t speak up, because I wasn’t fuckin’ emo boy.

    Then they came for the Goths, and I didn’t speak up, because I wasn’t a black #1 goth.

    Then they came for the Furries, and I didn’t speak up for I didn’t know what Yiffing was.

    Finally they came for the Geeks and we shut down the power grid.

  25. How do you tell the emo kids from the people who are just depressed because they live in Siberia?

  26. And we’ve got the “Find Your Russian Beauty” ad again, presumably because they can’t find any emo-oriented advertisements.

    Jesse’s earlier post is apparently including ads for both the Emo Quiz and Vampire Freaks.

  27. That’s really Prince, isn’t it?

  28. …the members of Russia’s Duma are mulling over legislation to ban emo and gothic dress in public schools and government buildings.

    If banning emo and gothic dress in government buildings and the schools is totalitarian, what does that make Flint, Michigan?

  29. Emo kids are just the goth kids other goth kids don’t like.

    This parallels the events 15 years ago when wavers who hated other wavers and called them goths.

  30. Then they came for the Furries, and I didn’t speak up for I didn’t know what Yiffing was.

    I just did a Google image search for “yiff.”

    I will never look at the internet in the same way again.

  31. It’s funny because he’s emo

    [the word “emo” constitutes a joke!]

  32. mulling over legislation to ban emo and gothic dress in public schools and government buildings.

    Russia is definitely learning the U.S. model. We know we can’t realistically ban it outright, but we can ban it on Public Property, which is almost as effective as an outright ban.

  33. What I wanna know is, why has pop-culture gotten to the place where it gives new names to shit that kids already did 10, 20, 30 years ago? I thought the idea of youthful rebellion was to shock your parents by doing something they hadn’t seen before. We’re getting so tight on the retro calendar, kids are rebelling in ways that I did three years ago.

  34. Emu is as tasty as ostrich, right? Tell Mother Russia that we have an overstock of Bright Eyes and Sunny Day Real Estate albums and we’ll take their unwanted in. For the slaughter.

    Mmm. Red avian meat.

  35. If banning emo and gothic dress in government buildings and the schools is totalitarian, what does that make Flint, Michigan?

    A shithole? Oh wait, it was already a shithole…

  36. The Monocular Kid.

  37. What I wanna know is, why has pop-culture gotten to the place where it gives new names to shit that kids already did 10, 20, 30 years ago?
    Because they’ve discovered that the only thing that drives your parents bonkerser than doing something really embarrassing is doing something they’re really embarrassed to have done themselves when they were your age. There’s nothing cringier than when your kid takes out a guitar and starts singing “Mr. Tambourine Man.”

  38. I love Russia now.

    Emos aren’t suffering from mental disorders, they’re suffering from stupidity.

  39. Most of you inbreeds don’t even know what real emo is. It’s a form of music with deep punk and indie roots.

    You wouldn’t praising Russia if they banned metal would you? If they said it caused people to worship Satan and eat babies you wouldn’t be bitching now would you?

    This kind of law is acenine and downright opressive.

  40. What an aswome idea. Why can’t england do the same ?.

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