Just Because You're Paranoid, Doesn't Mean the Post Office is Efficient

Eli Whitney's beard! Fighting anti-fascist fruitcake Naomi Wolf is far, far crazier than originally thought. I finally got around to watching Loopy de Loop's tent revival speech at last weekend's Ron Paul "Revolution March," and while I cover most of the her points in my review of The End of America, Wolf's user guide to the impending fascist takeover, there are a couple of fascinating new wrinkles in her terror tale. Turns out that her brave stand against the current regime has caught the attention of the American Gestapo (2:48 in):

"My daughter is 13 years-old. She's in summer camp right now. She's writing me letters. I'm not getting her letters. I'm not getting half of my mail. And when my mail arrives, it's ripped wide open. I showed it to the post office and they said 'That's not possible.'"

The Sgt. Schultz Brigade at the post office would say that, wouldn't they! Perhaps Wolf the Younger, likely sequestered for the summer at Camp Wo-Chi-Cha, is simply pretending to write letters home. Perhaps Wolf the Elder is only now realizing that the United States Postal Service has its share of lazy, incompetent federal employees. My plastic pith-helmeted mail carrier, for instance, routinely scatters my mail in mailboxes throughout the neighborhood. The stuff that actually arrives is helpfully ripped into small sections, which I reassemble during free weekends. Come to think of it, with that Afrikacorps headgear, he's probably a fascist too.

Other Naomi nuggets: Did you know that there is a real danger that New York Times editor Bill Keller will be executed like Nikolai Bukharin? (4:45) And Wolf provides this chilling, Gossip Girl-style recapitulation of Italian fascism running roughshod over a duly elected parliament (7:10): "Parliament kept saying, 'wait, we're parliament.' And Mussolini kept saying, you know what? Whatever!" And Giovanni Gentile was like, huh? And Marinetti was like, pffff.

Complete video here.