Politics

Jesse, We Hardly Knew Ye

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Former pro wrestler and Minnesota Gov. Jesse "The Mind" Ventura has issued a definitive statement that he's not going to run for the Senate seat being contested by Norm "Death Warmed Over" Coleman and Al "Whatever Happened to Davis?" Franken. Well, sort of:

"I'll tell you now I'm not going to run at this moment."

Spoken like a true, er, statesman? More here.

Background here.

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  1. “I’ll tell you now I’m not going to run at this moment.”

    “But tomorrow, watch out!

  2. I ain’t got time to run.

    errrr.

    bleed.

    whatevs. [tromps off]

  3. NOOOOOOOOOOO

    Jesse cannot deny me the amusement of running against these guys. It’s not fair. Plus, he could actually win.

  4. Episiarch, calm down. He used politician code for “of COURSE I’ll run. Duh!”. Surely you’ve hung out amongst the filthy ones long enough to decode their speech?

  5. “Whatever Happened to [Tom] Davis?”

    According to Al Franken, Tom had substance abuse problems, for which Al went to a support group. That is where Al met some otherwise-idiotic person who, nonetheless, said something brilliant, and thus became the inspiration for “Stuart Smalley”.

  6. OK, I breathed into a paper bag and I’m better now. Still, just because he used politician code doesn’t mean anything. He’s Jesse “The Body” Ventura and is completely unpredictable.

    “This is a sport of death and honor–code of the gladiators!”

    He’s Captain Freedom!

  7. Saw “Predator” a couple nights ago.

    Don’t blame me, I voted for Carl Weathers.

  8. I’ll tell you now I’m not going to run at this moment

    Reading between the lines, I think what he’s saying is nobody has put a suitably attractive offer on the table, yet. Sweeten the pot a little, and hey, who knows?

    Please, God, haven’t we suffered enough in this election season? Don’t we deserve the boon of a Franken v. Ventura throwdown?

  9. Brett Favre with a feather boa.

  10. Please, God, haven’t we suffered enough in this election season? Don’t we deserve the boon of a Franken v. Ventura throwdown?

    They both have significant wrestling experience, and they both are consummate entertainers. A cage match would be mid-way between awesome and side-splittingly hilarious.

    Norm Coleman is a wussy girlie-man, to paraphrase Predator star Schwartznegger.

  11. Don’t we deserve the boon of a Franken v. Ventura throwdown?

    I would do nearly anything to see Jesse in a cage death match just like his faked final battle with Arnold in The Running Man, but instead against Al and Norm. Him piercing them on the wall of spikes would be the ultimate finale.

  12. The guys at grudge-match.com should definitely pick up on the Franken v. Ventura throwdown.

  13. It would be worth coming out of retirement for.

  14. In the end…I’m bettin’ on Ventura to join in at the last moment. He strikes me as the type who sees no reason in getting real busy this early when he could feasibly relax, spend time with his family and friends, and stay out of the limelight for awhile longer. He knows that once the process is started it is full speed ahead for quite awhile. Raising money for a campaign and actually campaigning can wait in his case.

    IMHO

  15. Ventura is just following the wildly successful Fred Thompson strategy of waiting until the buzz has worn out. Bet he’s takin’ a lot of naps, too…

  16. And so I will tell you now, I am not going to run at this moment. But, if between now and 5:00, maybe God comes and speaks to me like he did the president, and tells me I should run, like he apparently told the president to invade Iraq, well, then maybe at 5:00 tomorrow, Larry, don’t call me a liar, just understand God sent me to file.

    It came down to … surfing versus the Senate. And I found surfing to be much more honorable than the Senate

    If he ever runs for President, I’ll vote for him just because of this.

  17. Ventura was a mediocre governor – not once during his 4 years could he put the state before himself. This “announcement” is additional proof its all about the Jesse. I’m glad he is staying out and I voted for him for governor.

  18. Mediocre. I consider that an improvement over the usual offerings.

  19. Jesse’s got a couple of hours to change his mind (again.) Dean Barkley (Jesse’s gov campaign manager, former U.S.Senator for a couple of months) has announced that he will file at 3:30pm CDT if Jesse hasn’t. So there may be a three-way squabble here anyway.

  20. Well this is making my birthday a little less special. (sigh)

  21. Jesse didn’t file and Dean did; Franken picked up a DFL primary challenge.

  22. Ventura was a mediocre governor – not once during his 4 years could he put the state before himself.

    Puhh-lease!

    Name one politico who has ever “put the state before himself”?

    You were kidding, right?

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