I Also Ain't Got Time to Bleed

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When can I stop blogging about human cartoon characters who finagle their ways into major Libertarian Party nominations? Not today, apparently. The Louisville Courier-Journal profiles ex-actor Sonny Landham, the LP's candidate in the (surprisingly close) Kentucky Senate race.

The bid includes some campaign baggage that seems scripted for Hollywood, instead of socially conservative Kentucky. Early in his acting career in the 1970s, Landham bared it all in adult films.

Asked whether that could hurt him politically, Landham replied, "What can I do? That was a part of my life you cannot call back."

But he does express regrets.

"If I was going to do it now — knowing that I'm going to have four children, knowing that I was going to run for office — no, I wouldn't make that choice," he said. "But at the time I made the choice of getting a paycheck, staying alive for your big break."

Landham also served more than 2½ years in federal prison after being convicted of making threatening and obscene phone calls to his ex-wife.

The conviction was thrown out by a federal appeals court that found he committed no crime.

Actually… I don't have a problem with either of those things. Thirty months for "obscene phone calls"?

Via Wonkette, who goes with the angle that Senator Landham would be the third actor from Predator to serve in public office, after Jesse Ventura (I-MN) and Arnold Schwarzenegger (R-CA). (Carl Weathers never got as close as some of us would have liked.)

UPDATE: From the comments:

NEXT: No Sir, Mr. Mugabe

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  1. Has anybody done an analysis, or at least made a list, of all of the people in Predator who ran for office? Were elected to office?

    Wondering what offices the off-screen crew runs for too.

    Thanks in advance!

  2. Carl Weathers’ best role was playing a cheapskate parody of himself in Arrested Development.

  3. David,

    1. Via wonkette instead of via fark? Okay, but that says something about you.

    2. surprisingly close? Lunsford with his money in a democrat controlled state (not like when I first registered to vote here 21 years ago, but the GOP is still the minor party), how could it not be close? It wasnt going to stay this close once McConnell got to remind voters of the Lunsford/Vencor connection. McConnell is too good at the game not to play hard (and dirty) against Lunsford. But, it doesnt shock me at all that the race is close right now.

  4. Now if we can only get the little weasely guy who was crushed by the tree trunk we’ll have a quorum!

  5. Wasn’t Landham the guy who during the filming of “Predator” had to be escorted around by a bodyguard? Allegedly the bodyguard’s role was to keep Landham from hurting people.

  6. Thirty months for “obscene phone calls”?

    Didn’t Kevin Mitnick stay locked up, without a trial, for a lot longer than that, partly for making crank calls to a NYT reporter? BTW, John Markoff(sp?) was not autographing “Free Kevin” stickers last I heard.

  7. More good stuff about Sonny. According to the “Trivia” page for Predator at the Internet Movie Data Base, during the shoot “the insurance company insisted on a round-the-clock bodyguard for Landham, not to protect the actor, but to protect everyone else from the actor (who was prone to bar fights, etc.).” Now that sounds like Kentucky! Maybe he will win after all!

  8. Arnold is a Montana Republican, Dave? Wouldn’t (R-PREY) be more accurate anyway?

    Don’t forget Bill Duke and Shane Black, either.

  9. Alan Vanneman,

    Doode, sometimes you are so one min. ago!

  10. Early in his acting career in the 1970s, Landham bared it all in adult films.

    I foresee matched campaign advertisements ala the Simpsons.

    Opposition Ad — A vote for Landham is a vote for pornography.

    Landham Ad (including snippets of prior work) — A vote for Landham is a vote for pornography.

  11. Carl Weathers is our most patriotic actor. Has anybody ever played more Sergeants, Colonels, Captains, Chiefs and Generals in one career? And that’s not even counting the bicentennial trunks.

  12. Tim Cavanaugh,

    Idunno. He may have the title by volume, but I think Fred Thompson has the greater rank average. CIA Director, NASCAR President, Admiral, other stuff, and stuff. Well, ATC guy may be a negative rank score.

  13. Actually… I don’t have a problem with either of those things. Thirty months for “obscene phone calls”?

    You forgot the “threatening” part. Repeated, unwanted phone calls of any type would constitute trespass at the least, I would think.

    That said, I sure don’t know if it even happened, and I don’t know that it would disqualify him from office if it did.

  14. That said, I sure don’t know if it even happened, and I don’t know that it would disqualify him from office if it did.

    Things can disqualify candidates from office in the Commonwealth of Kentucky?

  15. Things can disqualify candidates from office in the Commonwealth of Kentucky?

    Sure. Like being born in NY.

  16. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QArocEUp7xE

    Vote Carl Weathers, he was the black guy in Predator.

  17. Via Wonkette??

    I posted about this this morning

    Screw You Wonkette!! 🙂

  18. GOD… I… HATE… WONKETTE!!!111!1

    Seriously, I look at the comments there and wonder what fucked-up part of our population makes up their fanbase. Is the entire blog some kind of in-joke that I just don’t get, or is it something else?

  19. Actually… I don’t have a problem with either of those things. Thirty months for “obscene phone calls”?

    Actually, I think it was the “threatening” part that got him in trouble. Obscene phone calls with a consenting partner — phone sex — aren’t going to be reported to the authorities.

    Or so I’ve heard.

  20. Isnt Landham a known racist? Where is his “newsletter scandal”?

  21. That Carl Weathers SNL skit was terrible. Poor Carl, getting stuck with such worthless SNL writers.

  22. Vote Carl Weathers, he was the black guy in Predator.

    And he played two roles at the same time in the same movie! His SOF character seemed to hate his CIA character so much. It is amazing that an actor can do that.

  23. Seriously, I look at the comments there and wonder what fucked-up part of our population makes up their fanbase. Is the entire blog some kind of in-joke that I just don’t get, or is it something else?

    It’s what happens when a bunch of self-righteous asshats decide they’re “common people”.

  24. Well, obviously, I’m not a big guy. I’m not a Carl Weathers, par example

  25. Car Weathers was awsome when he stole a Cadillac from that annoying SCTV guy in Commando.

  26. Ok, I see his Wikipedia has been cleaned up. There used to be links to his racist rants and COCC stuff. Porno is alright though. LP should stop supporting racists and nutjobs, however.

  27. JCJ,

    So, your only “evidence” that it existed is that it is not there any more?

  28. Guy and Tim,

    I think Louis Gossett Jr. is in the running for that competition…

  29. KENTUCKY! WOO!

    More national news! From my hometown!

    90% of this state sucks.

  30. I’d like to toss R. Lee Ermey in the ring. Homicide dick (Seven) and a drill sarge about 100000 times.

  31. Well, Kentucky does have Keeneland, Blanton’s and Basil Hayden.

  32. We’re gonna have us some fun!

    *dryshaves head*

    We’re gonna have us some fun!

  33. I believe an America run entirely by the cast, crew, production company, and distributor of Predator would be a better America. Not, mind you, people associated with Predator II. Danny Glover, for instance, is untenable. Except maybe as Castro’s successor.

  34. Seems like a whole bunch of ya’ll missed this part:

    The conviction was thrown out by a federal appeals court that found he committed no crime.

  35. Early in his acting career in the 1970s, Landham bared it all in adult films.

    Whatever. This was the pre-AIDS 1970s, if you weren’t doing porn you were a nobody.

  36. Isn’t that the trouser stain who played the Indian in “48 Hours”?

  37. Blanton’s…ummm, good!

  38. I said 90%

    We do have Bourbon-Barrel Ale, which will sweep the nation once it stops being a local delicacy. A medium-bodied ale that is conditioned in used bourbon barrels. Sort of like the boilermaker of the gods.

    (Or is it showing up outside of KY? If it is, please don’t judge it by the bottled form, the draft version is vastly superior.)

  39. Hey, what about Bill Duke? He also was “the black guy” in “Predator”.

  40. “LP should stop supporting racists and nutjobs, however.”

    Not supporting racists I can understand, but without nutjobs, who would run for public office?

  41. 90% of this state sucks.

    When did Fayette County become 90% of KY?

  42. We do have Bourbon-Barrel Ale, which will sweep the nation once it stops being a local delicacy. A medium-bodied ale that is conditioned in used bourbon barrels. Sort of like the boilermaker of the gods.

    Its being made all over. I met some brewers from a Missouri brewery who were in town (they were staying in Louisville) to visit ummm, you know, that brewery that just slipped my mind. Anyway, that was where they get their barrels from.

    Personally, I think it sucks. I love beer. I love bourbon. They should never meet. I judged some bourbon barrel porters at last year’s state fair, and while the best were good, they would have been better as just a straight porter (and a shot of bourbon on the side).

  43. Buffalo Trace.

    My mind is like one of those things, you know with holes in it, used for draining pasta.

  44. “Carl Weathers never got as close as some of us would have liked.”

    No but he did play the sheriff in “Heat of the Night” for maybe a season or two.

  45. Personally, I think it sucks.

    You should have your tongue repossessed. This is what happens when your local bourbon is Early Times.

  46. Sorry Sonny but . . . I ain’t got time to vote!

    *ducks*

  47. Personally, I would like to see the Predator run for office. Even if he just wrecked his office and hunted down other politicians, that would be fine with me.

    As for actor who holds the most ranks, Gene Hackman might have a chance. President (2), Senator, Mayor, Captain, Admiral, Brigadier General, Major General, Colonel, Lt. Colonel, Major, Sergeant, Secretary of Defense, Sheriff, …not to mention head coach (2), Royal, and Lex Luthor.

  48. Who played the Predator?

  49. The Predator was played by a really tall (and also black) guy named Kevin Peter Hall.

  50. My buddy is submitting an article to theonion.com about this.

    If anyone wants to take a look before hand, email me. It is pretty damned funny.

  51. Given the large fanboy element of the LP is this Chicken? Egg? Some unholy combination of the two, a la Foghorn Leghorn (my choice for POTUS this year).

  52. Thought I read somewhere that Van Damme was the original Predator . . .

  53. The Winter Soldier,

    He was but due to the fact that he is a PUSSY, couldn’t hack the part. Apparently with the suit on, the actor is basically in an oven.

  54. I was hoping Carl Weathers would run for governor of Louisiana (his birth state) after Hurricane Katrina. Sadly, it was not to be.

  55. Hey, what about Bill Duke? He also was “the black guy” in “Predator”.

    They were different Black guys? Oh man!

    The Predator was played by a really tall (and also black) guy named Kevin Peter Hall.

    He is now deceased. IIRC from looking at the IMDB page, he also played a helicopter pilot (Rotary Wing Aviator) in the movie. Since they were using the UH-1, I could see maybe a 7′ 2″ guy fitting okay. I am 6′ 3″ and that is the smalles US helicopter that I fit in comfortably at the controls.

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