Religion

Messiah Watch

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I hope for the sake of both campaigns that Mark Morford is a McCain operative. Here's his argument for Obama in Friday's San Francisco Chronicle:

Many spiritually advanced people I know (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment. These kinds of people actually help us evolve. They are philosophers and peacemakers of a very high order, and they speak not just to reason or emotion, but to the soul.

Bonus link: Time to roll this tape again.

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  1. Sounds like Ezra Klein.

  2. See? My jokes about Obama = Jesus to his supporters seemed over the top, but here we are, one step closer. Awesome.

  3. I don’t know whether to despise this guy, or loathe him. It’s a tough call.

  4. Creepy. There is something a little weird about the really, really enthusiastic Obama supporters.

  5. Sounds like Steve Pavlina bullshit.

  6. As asinine as Morford’s comments are, he’s no worse than the Evangelical Christians who see Bush as God’s divine instrument.

  7. His midichlorians are off the chart.

    But do we really want someone with that many midichlorians in power?

  8. Those fainting people just realized how much their taxes would increase.

  9. What does spiritual actually mean? Do you see ghosts or something?

  10. As asinine as Morford’s comments are, he’s no worse than the Evangelical Christians who see Bush as God’s divine instrument.

    That’s the first thing I thought of as well
    (I’m related to some of these people)

  11. Well, he did promise to stop the tides, or something, at his victory speech.

    What I love about Obama is the way he straddles the fence on this country. Is it just me or is his message basically “America is the greatest country in the world, and the only person who can save it is me.”

  12. Away In a Manger

    Away in a manger,
    no crib for His bed,
    The little Lord Obama
    laid down His sweet head;
    The stars in the heavens
    looked down where He lay,
    The little Lord Obama
    asleep on the hay.

    The cattle are lowing,
    the poor Baby wakes,
    But little Lord Obama,
    no crying He makes.
    I love Thee, Lord Obama;
    look down from the sky
    And stay by my cradle
    till morning is nigh.

    Be near me, Lord Obama;
    I ask Thee to stay
    Close by me forever
    and love me I pray!
    Bless all the dear children
    in Thy tender care,
    And fit us for Heaven
    to live with Thee there.

    Away in a manger,
    no crib for His bed,
    The little Lord Obama
    laid down His sweet head;
    The stars in the heavens
    looked down where He lay,
    The little Lord Obama
    asleep on the hay.

  13. He replied: “Watch out that you are not deceived. For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am he,’ and, ‘The time is near.’ Do not follow them.

  14. But do we really want someone with that many midichlorians in power?

    To a dark place, this line of thinking takes us.

    Also, for bonus, he poops rainbows.

  15. “America is the greatest country in the world, and the only person who can save it is me.”

    Isn’t it always the politician that can sell that message the best generally the winner?

    “It’s morning in America”…etc.

  16. for those that believe the comments quoted reflect Mark Morford’s POV, please RTFA.

    poor choice of wording for the set-up, Mr. Walker.

  17. It’s exactly like how Bush was a magnet for the low vibrational energies of fear and war and oppression and aggression, but, you know, completely reversed. And different. And far, far better.

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    Oh man! I’ll never take the San Francisco Chronicle seriously again. Ha ha ha ha ha

  18. OK. Can I just get one of your mimeographed, handwritten, double-sided pages and leave the subway station?

    I supposed you get some of this surrounding any candidacy. I’m just glad it isn’t the candidate himself claiming to have been selected by Jesus this time.

  19. oso,

    I RTFAd, and I’d say he makes it pretty clear with his last paragraph that he’s on board with all that “Lightworker” bullshit.

  20. for those that believe the comments quoted reflect Mark Morford’s POV, please RTFA.

    I read it. Morford didn’t throw up on his keyboard unable to finish the thought. He is therefore part of the problem.

    As asinine as Morford’s comments are, he’s no worse than the Evangelical Christians who see Bush as God’s divine instrument.

    If you walked into this election thinking the left is no different than the right, this isn’t a surprise.

  21. Here’s Morford’s last two ‘graphs, just for the record:

    Don’t buy any of it? Think that’s all a bunch of tofu-sucking New Agey bulls– and Obama is really a dangerously elitist political salesman whose inexperience will lead us further into darkness because, when you’re talking national politics, nothing, really, ever changes? I understand. I get it. I often believe it myself.

    Not this time.

  22. That’s just goofy.

  23. I don’t know which is creepier, to be honest. This, or the Republican apotheosis of Ronald Reagan.

  24. Bush’s evangelical cronies merely think he was chosen by God to save America.
    Obama’s flaky spiritualist supporters think that he IS God.

  25. Yes, calling someone a “Lightworker” is a “bunch of tofu-sucking New Agey bullshit.”

  26. identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment.

    Not interested. I’ve already got a Messiah.

    What I want from a President is a realistic, pragmatic guy with respect for the law, the Constitution and the idea of co-equal branches of government, not a guy who has grand messianic plans to transform society.

    We’ve already had that for seven years, and I think we can all agree that was a really bad idea.

    As asinine as Morford’s comments are, he’s no worse than the Evangelical Christians who see Bush as God’s divine instrument.

    Which makes less sense to me, because one of the founding theological underpinings of orthodox Christianity (and one of the repeating themes of the Old Testament) is that no matter how good a person is, they are still corrupt and prone to error.

  27. You know, it seems to me that when someone seriously deploys terms like “lightworker” or “indigo children” or “high fructose corn syrup” or “chakra,” there’s a pretty good chance that they are not part of what one might call “the reality-based community.”

  28. I don’t know which is creepier, to be honest. This, or the Republican apotheosis of Ronald Reagan.

    Neither of them can touch the Jesus Churchill shtick that surrounded George W. Bush around 2002. We downplay it because it’s collapsed so dramatically, but that was a freaky cult action right there.

  29. Then theres the other side of the 2002-2004 period from the left.

    WE HATES DUBYA! YES WE HATES HIM MY PRECIOUS! WE HATES HIM FOREVER!!

  30. “indigo children”

    When that idea was taken seriously and earnestly on an episode of CSI, I couldn’t watch the show again for the rest of that season. It was even worse than the GLAD award bait show concerning a transvestite being killed while committing an act of heroism.
    I can tell when the writer of the killer indigo child episode is involved in the script by the ickiness factor of the dialog, otherwise it is a fairly well written show.

  31. Uh, yeah, remember all those people who thought George Bush was a lousy president?

    What a bunch of loons! Some of them thought so poorly of him that they didn’t trust him to invade Iraq!

  32. Actually, we’ve already had the John McCain is like Jesus quote:

    “Columbus – Georgia Republican Party chairwoman Sue Everhart said Saturday that the party’s presumed presidential nominee has a lot in common with Jesus Christ.

    “John McCain is kind of like Jesus Christ on the cross,” Everhart said as she began the second day of the state GOP convention. “He never denounced God, either.”

  33. Joe, theres a difference between disliking the mans policies or thinking hes a lousy President, and thinking hes Satan incarnate scheming with Cheney and Rove in the basement of the White House for the ultimate conquest of the globe in the name of Halliburton.

    Understand?

  34. I take Obama vs. McCain as proof there is no God.

  35. Then theres the other side of the 2002-2004 period from the left.

    WE HATES DUBYA! YES WE HATES HIM MY PRECIOUS! WE HATES HIM FOREVER!!

    Yeah, well, that’s because HE WAS THAT BAD! You’re telling me a little Gollum voice didn’t crawl up inside your throat every time GWB spoke?

  36. For the love of Ahura Mazda, the only vibrations that are resonating after reading that article are the ones picked up by my bullshit detector.

    One thing I miss about living in Berkeley: the weather
    One thing I don’t miss about living in Berkeley: people who believe this New Age twaddle

  37. I haven’t heard this term ‘lightworker’ before. Is it sort of like a daywalker? Sort of like they’re saying he plays both sides, or serves one side while walking the path of the other?

  38. Pinette,

    It means that he has all of the vampire’s strengths, and none of their weakness. I think the author wants to call Obama Blacula, but is stymied by Barry’s lack of a ‘fro.

    Although, I’d rather be Blacula than the Cryptkeeper any day. If McCain starts punning all the time, I’m going to get out those sunglasses a bum gave and see if his face is rotting off. “What’s the matter, baby?”

  39. here’s an interesting take on Obama’s faith. No it isn’t an anti muslim rant.

    http://foxforum.blogs.foxnews.com/2008/06/02/barack-obama-is-not-a-christian/

  40. Many spiritually advanced people I know (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment.

    Can I hire Mark Morford to stand in my garden and spew this stuff? Unadulterated bovine excrement.

  41. brotherben,

    If Cal Thomas is against him, Obama is on the right path as far as I’m concerned.

  42. I’m just glad it isn’t the candidate himself claiming to have been selected by Jesus this time.

    True.
    But when you watch an Obama rally — like I did here in Missoula, MT — there is an overwhelming sense that Rev. Jim Jones is speaking.
    But no, they weren’t serving Kool-Aid.

  43. Jamie Kelly,
    my youngest brother, (34 now) saw Obama at a rally in Boise a couple months ago. Said it was the most moving thing he ever experienced. “Church was never, ever that good,” he said.

  44. It doesn’t matter who it is, a presidential candidate that seductive is scarin the bejebus outta me.

  45. a presidential candidate that seductive is scarin the bejebus outta me.

    Wet panties galore. I could have fucked any chick in that crowd just by telling them I’m working on the campaign.

  46. Dunno if it’s any worse than those who still think W is the greatest president ever.

    Did you see Jesus Camp?

    All those little brainwashed fundy spawns standing arms outstretched worhipfully towards a life sized cardboard W.

  47. Ugh!

    worhipfully = worshipfully

  48. Ungodly

    Yeah, but show me the Repub equivalent of that column in a major newspaper like the SF Chronicle. Yikes.

  49. “Yes, calling someone a “Lightworker” is a “bunch of tofu-sucking New Agey bullshit.””

    Yes, it is. But it’s also not remotely newsworthy when it emanates from the SF Bay area.

    If this were printed in Houston, or was written by Henry Kissinger, it would be news. That an SF columnist knows some loopy hippies, this is not news.

  50. Drivel like this is precisely why I ran away screaming from California after living there for one year.

  51. “Yeah, but show me the Repub equivalent of that column in a major newspaper like the SF Chronicle.”

    Peggy Noonan writing about angels guiding dolphins to save Elian Gonzales in the Wall Street Journal

  52. Is it sort of like a daywalker?

    Ha ha – That was my thought too.

    And WTF is an “indigo child”? Perhaps similar to a “ginger”.

  53. Rhywun,

    Indigo Children

    Prepare to feel stupider for having read it…

  54. I grew up with a new-ager mother. This is just how they think about people they like. It’s never enough that you’re a good guy, you have to be a being of utter transcendence who is helping usher in the age of Aquarius or whatever the next millennial fad is.

    Think of it as the outward projection of the better-known phenomenon of people needing to believe they were Cleopatra or a Tibetan monk or Gandalf or whatever in a past life because their own middle-class existence just isn’t interesting enough for the expectations of the most idealistic of the already fever-pitched Boomer generation.

  55. I just love it when folks confuse things that are said about someone with the actual person.

    Ironic that so many of those folks show up here at http://www.REASON.com.

  56. Fuck Jesus, Fuck Bush, All Hail OBAMA!

  57. I just love it when folks confuse things that are said about someone with the actual person.

    Ironic that so many of those folks show up here at http://www.REASON.com.”

    Thank you, I was getting rather thirsty.

  58. From “Indigo Children”:

    They are empathic and can easily detect or are in tune with the thoughts of others, and are naturally drawn to matters concerning mysteries, spirituality, the paranormal and the occult, while opposing unquestioned authority and contradictory to convention. They allegedly possess wisdom and level of awareness “beyond their years.” They are also said to feel a strong sense of entitlement.

    Good LORD, they’ve rediscovered Generation Y!

  59. My kid’s chakra beat up your honor student’s chakra.

  60. Oh, how I loathe Mark Morford.

    WHY are you giving him free publicity?

  61. Ungodly,

    “As asinine as Morford’s comments are, he’s no worse than the Evangelical Christians who see Bush as God’s divine instrument.”

    Good call! We almost went ten comments about the actual topic without anyone saying “republicans are worse!”

  62. I think Obama himself believes he is some kind of Messiah.

    All that nonsense in his speech about future generations looking backing and saying this was the moment when we started to “heal the earth” and take care of people’s healthcare, etc. etc.

    He is starting to remind me of Xerxes in that movie “300” – except without all the metal piercings.

  63. Hmm. I went to Google to see if I could find references to Bill Clinton as a Lightworker, and discovered that Morford really hit the jackpot with this column.

    http://preview.tinyurl.com/6o2ue8

  64. Lightworkers.org – The Essence

    When we unite our focused intent and higher emotions we can together become a powerful catalyst for elevating the collective consciousness of our world. We unite Lightworkers from all around the world and become one in mind, heart and spirit. Lightworkers.org is a platform where Lightworkers can connect in an environment that is tolerant and loving. When we connect together in a unified thought we express our collective co-creative essence and allow the process of ascension to unfold for all life. As a Lightworker we simply mean a person who is co-creating a peaceful and loving world, and there are a many of us!. We know you will feel at home here and understand that you are a part of a world wide movement that is co-creating an alternative way of life for humanity and our loving world that we share. Lightworkers, we honor you. For we are ONE!

    http://lightworkers.org/about-lightworkers

  65. Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.

    Albert Einstein

  66. All your hateful comments about Barack Obama (our next president) just make the baby Jesus cry.

  67. I first read “Lightworker” as the opposite of hardworker. Thanks to Reason, I haved learned a new word. Now I won’t be embarrased, if I meet a new age person and assume they are talking about a slacker.

  68. That wiki article on “indigo children” is hilarious. I can’t say its stupider than any other religious belief though…

    I sure hope social evolution weeds out these nonsense beliefs like ‘new age’ and ‘Abrahamic faiths’ soon.

  69. For those who care to listen I think I have a unique perspective on this.

    Having pursued serious very traditional yogic training over the last decade or so I’ve come to a few conclusions covering this kind of thing.

    First, yogic training can increase the amount of subtle light a person projects around them. Most people pick this up as charisma or generic attraction. For anyone who has ever met a rock star or movie icon in real life it comes across as “just having to look at them.” Some people have this kind of charisma naturally without any kind of training. Although, public speakers and singers tend to have this more often than regular folks. People with this kind of charisma are often very emotional and the effect amplified in a crowd or as they get worked up.

    That said, with proper training you can learn to see this kind of thing with your own eyes.

    It is a very apparent phenomena that is hard to miss. Interestingly people who are color blind have a hard time with this.

    This is the part most new agers miss however. You can be a completely murderous heathen in your regular life and still do this. It has more to do with broadcasting emotion than anything else. Just take a look at all of the cult leaders out there who come across as really sincere in person.

  70. What I want from a President is a realistic, pragmatic guy with respect for the law, the Constitution and the idea of co-equal branches of government, not a guy who has grand messianic plans to transform society.

    Loser!

  71. He is starting to remind me of Xerxes in that movie “300” – except without all the metal piercings.

    This post is filled with so much win and I actually (mostly) like Obama.

  72. In reading over all of the comments, I was totally amazed how opened minded everyone is. It makes me truly sad that we as humans still want to see only with our eyes and can’t imagine the possibilities.

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