Insert Fawlty Towers Reference Here

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It is, without question, the greatest newspaper in the western hemisphere; a bottomless well of wit, wisdom, and gossip about "celebrities" (Jade Goody! Ulrika Jonsson! Kerry Katona!) unfamiliar to anyone outside of the greater Birmingham area. I am, of course, referring to everyone's favorite Little Englander tabloid, The Daily Mail. And browsing its pages today, I came across what might very well be the greatest headline of the year: "British holidaymaker wins compensation because his hotel was full of Germans."The lede paragraph explains:

When businessman David Barnish treated his family to a holiday at a luxury resort, he was soon dismayed to find their hotel dominated by Germans.

But it wasn't an abundance of beach towels on the sunbeds by breakfast time which was to spoil the family's fun—rather that the sports activities and entertainment were only offered in German.

Mr. Barnish was awarded £750 in damage for being set upon by brutish Hun holidaymakers. If European hotels full of Germans are grounds for financial compensation, someone owes me lots of Deutschmarks. 

And what issue of The Daily Mail would be complete without the requisite story of a sweet pensioner dying because of NHS neglect?  

NEXT: Friday Fun Link

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  1. That is the most fucked up poster I’ve ever seen! I must have one for my wall!

  2. Anyone who has ever set foot in southern European vacation spots knows of the German tourist scourge. Although it did benefit me in one peculiar instance, once. In Piran, on the Adriatic in what is now Croatia, a very cute blond waitress and I were able to communicate adequately in German, even though she didn’t speak much English, and I speak no Serbo-Croatian. But the German vacationers themselves? Cheapest bastards on Earth, though probably more attractive than the English variety.

  3. I always thought the Japanese ones were better.

    (The first link has a bonus song!)

  4. I have been informed by my Barcelona connection that the Germans are indeed the second most hated tourists there, beaten by a nose by the limeys. Cheap, drunk, and out of control. Plus they speak German which romance language speakers seem to hate the sound of. A lot.

  5. Cheapest bastards on Earth

    So they are the Canadians of Europe?

    (Don’t jump on me for that stereotype…)

  6. Michael, in the spirit of fairness, perhaps you could do an investigative piece on the number of elderly patients who die prematurely from neglect in privately run hospitals and nursing homes in the US. Trust me, you will have no shortage of cases to look at.

  7. my Barcelona connection

    Everyday on this board, I learn a new euphemism for “gay lover.”

  8. I worked in the service industry for many years. It’s hard to say which foreigners were the worst as almost all of them were similarly bad.

    Providing good service, and being tipped for it in return, are pretty much American concepts.

    In the context of the continent itself, everybody hates everyone else to begin with. So it is hard to tell how much of this has to do with the level of service or the cheapness of the served.

  9. I once stayed at an off-strip Vegas hotel/casino that was overrun by Ja…
    er, had an unusually large preponderance of Japanese tourists.

    Since they were also an Axis power where do I go for my money?

  10. I think I saw that poster used by a punk rock group (Cancerous Growth maybe?) promoting a concert in Kent, Ohio circa 1987.

  11. Don’t mention the war. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it.

  12. SugarFree | May 30, 2008, 2:17pm | #
    Cheapest bastards on Earth

    So they are the Canadians of Europe?

    (Don’t jump on me for that stereotype…)

    Ain’t necessarily a stereotype, but it can, in my opinion, qualify as a generalization.

    Canadian culture tends toward “cheap” because many of the country’s founding fathers came from Scotland. (Now there’s a stereotype.)

    In addition they believe that nobody should be rewarded for simply doing what they are supposed to do anyway.


    Providing good service, and being tipped for it in return, are pretty much American concepts.
    Yup, I agree.

    Canadians also have a sense that things are the way they should be, that the “authorities” know what they are doing, prices are set and controlled by some sort of logical process that is for the greater good, and the boat should not be rocked. They may (do) whine about costs, but rarely take any action.

    I have a great deal of fun when I am in Canada (I grew up there) haggling over prices of things. I rarely get a discount, but it is worth trying, and besides it is primarily to have some fun, and see what reactions I might get from store clerks etc.

    full disclosure – my background is Scottish/Jewish, born & raised in Canada – now happily live in the USA

  13. but it can, in my opinion, qualify as a generalization.

    I thought there might be a bit of truth to it.

    The wife and I had terrible service in Toronto restaurants. I experimented with dropping hits in the waitrons presence about being American, and low and behold, the service got immeasurably better.

  14. Canadian culture tends toward “cheap” because many of the country’s founding fathers came from Scotland. (Now there’s a stereotype.)

    It does seem to be the Quebecois, however, who get the worst rap among Canadian tourists. Maybe just because they are more noticeable?

    Generally speaking, rudeness does not know national boundaries.

  15. Ahh that explains a bit… Toronto is kinda like the Canuck NYC – they think their culture and values are the country. And American greenbacks tend to get attention (except recently when the $$ are pretty close to par).

    Try western Canada, they are much more likely to not resent Americans.

  16. I experimented with dropping hits in the waitrons presence about being American, and low and behold, the service got immeasurably better.

    I assume this was when the dollar had some value. Remember when we laughed at and mocked Canadian currency?

  17. Michael, in the spirit of fairness, perhaps you could do an investigative piece on the number of elderly patients who die prematurely from neglect in privately run hospitals and nursing homes in the US. Trust me, you will have no shortage of cases to look at.

    Fuck em. Not my fault their husband’s didn’t save for a higher quality nursing home over their lifetime…

  18. Quebecers (Quebecois) in general tend to be rude to everybody, even French-speaking Canadians from other regions of the country.

    A good friend of my emigrated to Quebec from France in the early ’60’s simply because he wanted to get out of France and move to a ‘civilized’ place. He lasted about a year before he moved to the Yukon Territory – and learned English!

    The Quebecois were, according to him, arrogant, rude, and self-centered; he figured he could have stayed in France for that.

    Again, this is only a sweeping generalization. Individual experiences may vary.

    Episiarch | May 30, 2008, 3:44pm | #
    I assume this was when the dollar had some value. Remember when we laughed at and mocked Canadian currency?

    Back in the days when the Yankee buck was king, and the Canuck loonie was worth .60, speaking with a y’all accent in most parts of Canada could have wait-staff and service folks lining up to kiss your star spangled butt!

    Nowadays, when the dollars are pretty much equal, your butt ain’t gonna get much attention – unless of course, you are bringing in cheap gas, cigarettes, or guns! And then the attention will likely come from the Queen’s Cowboys (i.e. Mounties).

  19. I guess they were disappointed that I always changed my money.

    Anyway, Toronto has both the Merrill Collection and some of the best used bookstores for science fiction I have ever found, so it is A-OK in my book.

    I also has the most absurd amount of meat in one sitting at a Greektown restaurant. It was this foot tall pile in the middle of the table.

  20. I have a great deal of fun … haggling over prices of things.

    my background is … Jewish

    Now there is a sterotype! Heh.

  21. Kwix | May 30, 2008, 4:27pm | #

    I have a great deal of fun … haggling over prices of things.

    my background is … Jewish

    Now there is a sterotype! Heh.

    Ya, but my stereotypes support each other – the other half is Scottish and thrrrrifty… Och!

  22. stupid site

  23. Again, this is only a sweeping generalization.

    But thanks anyway! (Been to Toronto many times and always treated well. But I live in–and enjoy!–Brooklyn so what do I know.)

    I experimented with dropping hits

    Yeah, I did that in college too.

  24. I have been informed by my Barcelona connection that the Germans are indeed the second most hated tourists there, beaten by a nose by the limeys.

    Having played the part of a German tourist myself in Tarragona (south of Barcelona) for several weeks, I can only disagree 🙂

    But yes, the English are right bastards.

  25. i’d love to rtfa, but the first link is not correct.

  26. Or Monty Python’s travel agency sketch:

    …and swimming pools full of fat German businessmen pretending they’re acrobats, barging in the queues, and frightening the children…

  27. Nothing to do with the original post, but per the thread digression:

    In their weight class, Halifax and Victoria are the two most awesome cities in the world.

    And have the friendliest people of anywhere.

  28. nd swimming pools full of fat German businessmen pretending they’re acrobats, barging in the queues, and frightening the children…

    The “Barging in queues” thing was a very big deal. Ski lifts were where I saw it play out the most. English people refused to get into the spirit of things and pile in. To the Americans credit (or not, to the English), all the Americans I saw just did what the Germans did.

  29. so… what’s with the “this is a stupid site” comments?

    *confused*

  30. So when did Britain move to the Western Hemisphere?

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