Alcohol

I'll Need to See Your Permit

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I don't know which is worse, that the city of Cleveland requires a "music permit" and a "pool table permit," or that failing to obtain one is a criminal offense.

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  1. That’s a weird either/or, Radley. It’s kinda like saying, I don’t know what’s worse, that he pointed a gun at an innocent man or that he pulled the trigger!

  2. Cleveland doesn’t rock?
    Drew Carey’s got some ‘splaining to do.

  3. Right here in River City.
    Trouble with a capital “T”
    And that rhymes with “P” and that stands for pool!

  4. Its like presidential candidates – I don’t know which is worse.

  5. Oh, we’ve got trouble.
    We’re in terrible, terrible trouble.
    That game with the fifteen numbered balls is a devil’s tool!
    Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble!
    With a “T”! Gotta rhyme it with “P”!
    And that stands for Pool!!!

  6. Isn’t the heart of rock ‘n’ roll in Cleveland?

  7. A-hem.

  8. “The Iranians are, even as we speak, preparing to flood this great land of ours with musical pool tables. We must strike now, and strike hard, to save ourselves. The bombers are one the runway, fueled and ready; it’s your call, Sir.”

  9. Anyway, like one of the commenters on the original blog noted, it’s surprising Cleveland doesn’t also require toilet permits.

  10. Friends, lemme tell you what I mean.
    Ya got one, two, three, four, five, six pockets in a table.
    Pockets that mark the diff’rence
    Between a gentlemen and a bum,
    With a capital “B,”
    And that rhymes with “P” and that stands for pool!

  11. ed,

    Same goes for The Presidents of the United States of America and Ian Hunter.

  12. Of course, some claim that Detroit is “Rock City”. But I don’t hold with that.

  13. IIRC you also technically need a permit to kill mice and rats…

    And the Heart of Rock and Roll is also not in Cleveland.

    Nephilium

  14. As a native Pittsburgher, I’ve been telling you all for years that Cleveland sucks.

    You can pick up your crow sandwich in the box outside my office…

  15. Of course, some claim that Detroit is “Rock City”. But I don’t hold with that.

    That’s only because you don’t know shit about Rock ‘n’ Roll. 😉

  16. As a native Clevelander, I’ve been telling you all for years that Cleveland sucks.

  17. It’s just another Sunday in a tired old street
    Police have got the choke hold, and we just lost the beat

  18. Taktix:

    At least our freeway system makes some kind of sense… and our entire downtown isn’t comprised of one way streets…

    Gods I hate driving in Pittsburg.

    Nephilium

  19. Detroit is “rock city” in the sense that most of the buildings are derelict and collapsing into rubble.

  20. CLEVELAND WAS MUCH COOLER BEFORE IT SHORTENED ITS NAME FROM THE ORIGINAL “CLEAVAGELAND.”

  21. Of course, some claim that Detroit is “Rock City”. But I don’t hold with that.

    Nah, that would be Chattanooga.

  22. Guy,

    On Lookout Mountain, you can See Seven States.

  23. See Seven States

    Another fine band!

  24. Nephilium | May 7, 2008, 2:23pm | #

    IIRC you also technically need a permit to kill mice and rats…

    I see IIRC a lot now and I finally looked it up, not knowing what it meant.
    The third one seems appropriate.

    If I Recall/Remember Correctly
    If I Read Correctly
    If I Really Cared
    If I Recollect Correctly
    If It Really Counts

  25. As a Cleveland native who escaped during the great Brain Drain of 1960-present, I can tell you that this news is about as surprising as the tides.

  26. Idunno, I think Baltimore might be running really close on the suck title.

  27. As a Cleveland native who escaped during the great Brain Drain of 1960-present, I can tell you that this news is about as surprising as the tides.

    Okay, okay… get off my back already!

  28. Goddammit. Stupid Remember Me button ruined my joke. I’ll try again.

  29. As a Cleveland native who escaped during the great Brain Drain of 1960-present, I can tell you that this news is about as surprising as the tides.

    Okay, okay… get off my back already!

    (Sigh.)

  30. LOL

  31. Dang. Look at the chronology:
    12:54 Item Posted
    1:01 First “Cleveland” comment
    1:02 First Music Man reference comment

    You gotta move fast (or have a very boring job) to keep up around here.

  32. I got no Cleveland jokes. ::sniff::

    Actually, what’s worse is that the Plain Dealer treats these things as if they’re perfectly normal.

    “Can you believe it? He didn’t have his glass frosting license!”

  33. You want to *sniff*, JW?

    I never got my hat tip. Unless Radley got this independently of the email I sent Reason about this story.

  34. Cleveland joke: the UNIVERSITY SCHOOL. ptttfff

    [inside joke]

  35. But do they require a bee license?

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