Family Issues

This Would Have Made Those Shitty Sgt. Rock Comics a Lot More Interesting…

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…and it would have rendered moot the drama behind the pop ballad "Billy Don't Be a Hero." But the times they are a-changin':

In a historic but little-noticed change in policy, the Army is allowing scores of husband-and-wife soldiers to live and sleep together in the war zone—a move aimed at preserving marriages, boosting morale and perhaps bolstering re-enlistment rates at a time when the military is struggling to fill its ranks five years into the fighting.

"It makes a lot of things easier," said Frazier, 33, a helicopter maintenance supervisor in the 3rd Infantry Division. "It really adds a lot of stress, being separated. Now you can sit face-to-face and try to work out things and comfort each other."

Long-standing Army rules barred soldiers of the opposite sex from sharing sleeping quarters in war zones. Even married troops lived only in all-male or all-female quarters and had no private living space.

But in May 2006, Army commanders in Iraq, with little fanfare, decided that it is in the military's interest to promote wedded bliss. In other words: What God has joined together, let no manual put asunder.

"It's better for the soldiers, which means overall it's better for the Army," said Command Sgt. Maj. Mark Thornton of the 3rd Infantry.

More here.

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  1. Maybe the Army got sick of their ridiculously high level of female soldiers getting pregnant while in theater (and not from their boyfriends or husbands) and having to be sent home. Last time I saw the figure it was something like 30%.

    Forced sterilization for some, American flag condoms for others!

  2. What the hell? Those Sgt. Rock comics were bitchin’!

  3. This is a horrible policy decision. My wife not being around to see what I was doing in theater is the only thing that saved my marriage.

    Just kidding, we couldn’t even drink a beer or sleep with a translator, that was reserved for the officers.

  4. Ooh! Ooh! Me first! Me first!

    MAKE LOVE – NOT WAR!!!

  5. Yeah, lay off Sgt. Rock. Those war comics had a more nuanced and serious portrayal of war than your typical John Wayne movie.

  6. Ok, at first I thought it would be the root-beer party story – esp with the ‘super-troopers’ that were investigating.

    But it is this story on which I’m calling shenanigans in celebration of today’s date.

  7. Quick – before this is exposed as an April Fool’s hoax – let’s do some tasteless jokes.

    “Honey, do these chamo pants make me look fat?”

  8. What’s that on your face soldier?

    I was cleanin his gun and it went off.

  9. Reminds me of “Brain Candy”, sort of.

  10. I admit it, I was a Sgt. Rock fan, sloggin’ with Easy Co. all the way from Anzio.

  11. HUSBANDS AND WIVES SERVING TOGETHER IS ALL WELL AND GOOD, BUT WHAT OF THE SINGLE SOLDIER? THE URKOBOLD SUBMITS THAT WHAT THE U.S. MILITARY NEEDS IS A CRACK CADRE OF PROSTITUTES. YES, AN EFFECTIVE RECRUITING INDUCEMENT.

  12. It seems to work pretty well on Battlestar Galactica, so why not?

  13. The advantages of being married in the military are great. Unless you love your spouse and family, in which case being in the military sucks ass. I wouldn’t be surprised if the military was responcible for more divorces than prison. But if you’re looking for more pay, better living quarters, and fewer working hours, getting hitched gets you more quicker than anything else.

    I’d expect we’ll see large numbers of female personnel getting married in theater and divorced the first month back in the states.

  14. Long-standing Army rules barred soldiers of the opposite sex from sharing sleeping quarters in war zones. Even married troops lived only in all-male or all-female quarters and had no private living space.

    The first policy is actually quite reasonable, the 2nd one is soooooooo not.

  15. Urkobold? | April 1, 2008, 12:28pm | #

    Too bad Eliot has his new job with the NYTimes, he could have continued his career as a public servant by heading the new DoD agency that you are calling for. Maybe the head of F1 Racing has an open schedule.

  16. PC,

    YOU ARE WISDOM INCARNATE. AS IT SO HAPPENS, THE ELIOT’S NEW WRITING GIG ISN’T THAT DEMANDING, SO HE’LL BE READY WHEN AMERICA CALLS. ONLY THE HIGHEST QUALITY WHORES FOR AMERICA’S FIGHTING MEN. . .AND WOMEN.

    THE URKOBOLD MUST GO TO HIS BUNK NOW.

  17. How does this decision effect “don’t ask, don’t tell”?

    If straight couples can have sex in Iraq, will they have to allow gay couples to do so as well?

  18. Make love, then war.

    I’m thinking a new motto here.

  19. so would that make them a hookcorps?

  20. How does this relate to the new findings that a large percentage of surrogates are military wives.

    http://www.newsweek.com/id/129594

  21. DEEM THEM THE MARINE WHORPS AND BE DONE WITH IT.

    N.B.THE “PS” IS SILENT.

    FOR THE OTHER BRANCHES IF THE MARINE WHORPS ARE INSUFFICIENT:

    * ARMY: ARMY BANGERS
    * NAVY: NAVY SQUEALS
    * AIR FORCE: BLUE ANGELS

  22. During the Revolutionary War, to prevent large numbers of both regular soldiers and militia from deserting, generals permitted wives and families to join their husbands in camp. Wives served as nurses and helped cook and sew uniforms, too. So this actually is restoring an old policy for the Army.

  23. Try again Urk. The highest skilled precision pilots known as the Blue Angels are Navy men. The Air Force barn stormers call themselves Thunderbirds.

  24. WARREN, YOU FOOL, THE URKOBOLD IS AWARE OF SUCH THINGS. HOWEVER, HE WAS DISTURBED BY THE IMPLICATIONS OF CALLING THE AIR FORCE WHORES “THUNDERBIRDS.” IT HAS. . .UNPLEASANT CONNOTATIONS.

  25. “Blue Angels are Navy men”

    There not all Navy, and there not all men.

    (Further pedant-Yes, currently the only female officer is a non-flying staff XO. But there have been female pilots in the squadron recently.)

  26. SEE, WARREN, KING OF FOLLY? THE URKOBOLD’S CONVERSION OF THE FLYING FOOLS INTO A CRACK SQUAD OF AIR FORCE WHORES HAS ALREADY BEGUN.

    FLEE, BEFORE THE URKOBOLD WITHERS YOUR TAINT A SECOND TIME!

  27. Phew, no taint impact for they’re/there; just a message from bob the angry flower.

  28. “Shitty”?

    Joe Kubert spits in your general direction.

    Otherwise, I claim this the advent of greater common sense in a maelstrom of inanity.

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