Streetlights, People, Aooowaaaaaugh!

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Let's say, hypothetically, that Hillary Clinton keeps lucking out, that Obama keeps slipping into rotten news cycles and scandals, and that the two candidates keep knocking coats of paint off each other as they head into the summer? Wither the Democrats?

Of course not. Salvation is out there, says an e-mailer to Jerid of Buckeye State Blog.

"…got a phonebank from john edwards' supporters last night. they are telling people that a vote for edwards will still count and he will get delegates if he pulls 5% in ohio. that would, they say, give him more bargaining power at the convention."

This is not actually true. He would need 15 percent in at least one congressional district to get any delegates; more likely than not this is some trick to cut Clinton or Obama's vote totals in central Ohio. But there is a Draft Edwards movement, and this one has scored an awesome 100 signatures for the cause of injecting him back into the race.

How many of you were listening when John gave his 'suspension speech'?

How many of you were shocked and dismayed and moved to tears?

"Why?"  You asked "Why?"

We may never know the complete answers to our question but we do know that the most dedicated and qualified person on this planet was 'taken' from us when we needed him most!

But then he only 'suspended' and not 'ended'!

Let's 'Stand by our Man'!

I don't want to hear any more jokes about Ron Paul backers.

NEXT: From Ridiculous to Revolutionary

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  1. I don’t want to hear any more jokes about Ron Paul backers.

    Damn! Talk about chumming the waters.

  2. This movement is surely being pushed by the Feministing crowd.

  3. As opposed to the typical movements they facilitate.

  4. reason sucks

  5. skcusn osaer

  6. Edwards offers at least something substantial in regard to policy. I’m not only getting tired of jokes about Ron Paul backers (I’m one), but I’m just as tired as the tired old pols that are trotted out as Presidential candidates… There’s not a dime’s worth of difference between Hillary and Obama (as the voting shows) and as to that crazy war-hungry McCain… awk! I’m a registered Republican and he won’t get my vote. The RNC really betrayed their base. The base is anti-war, small government, and is for fiscal responsibility. McCain is pro-war, big government, and hinting already about taxes — after all a 100 or so year war will need lots of money, even if we have to print it all up!)

  7. Why make jokes about Ron Paul supporters in reference to this? At least their candidate is still running…

  8. …yeah, he’s still running – backwards, if his steadily shrinking numbers are any indicator. Thank god there’s a trailer park resident wearing a tinfoil hat in West Possum who’s ready to keep Rep. Paul from sinking to absolute zero.

  9. Please stop making the 100 year war joke about McCain. It’s 2008. At most he’s only asking for a 92 year war.

  10. No no! John Kerry is the man for the job!

  11. What? You oppose the war, L. Step? You must HATE FREEDOM! fool.
    /sarcasm

  12. Where’s Mondale? He’s a sure winner.

  13. Is Mike Dukakis still around?

  14. Cesar, look under the helmet.

  15. Surely, were Adlai Stevenson alive, he would be the man for the job.

  16. I am sitting here watching Bernanke making a speech about subprime loans. What an orator!

  17. “Reducing preventable foreclosures”

    …is easier to do prior to closing.

  18. How many Ron Paul Backers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

  19. Resurrect Hubert Humphrey, Minnesota’s promise for the future.

  20. Maybe John Edwards is working on a proposal to mandate “progressive” interest rates on home loans; the more money you have, and the more likely it is that you will be able to repay, the higher your interest rate. That should get him some votes.

  21. As long as they are all consenting adults, who cares?

  22. How many Ron Paul Backers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Was the bulb purchased with fiat money? Because that changes the answer.

  23. The RNC really betrayed their base. The base is anti-war, small government, and is for fiscal responsibility.

    Who exactly were they supposed to choose out of such a sparkling cadre of candidates? I don’t like McCain in the slightest bit, but Romney? Huckabee? Giuliani? Thompson? Out of all the people who stood a chance, all of them strike me as “traitors to the base.” Whatever the hell that means–the base? Maybe if the RNC were shaped like an upside-down triangle, and the base were like, three people.

  24. Maybe John Edwards is working on a proposal to mandate “progressive” interest rates on home loans; the more money you have, and the more likely it is that you will be able to repay, the higher your interest rate. That should get him some votes.

    Shh! SHUT UP! Don’t give them any ideas!

  25. “The RNC betrayed their base. It is anti-war..” Really? So why did RP usually get less than double digits? I’ll support RP to the last (on the floor if I’m elected delegate) but let’s not pretend his supporters are more than a small minority in the GOP.

  26. How many Ron Paul Backers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    What’s a light bulb?

  27. if the RNC were shaped like an upside-down triangle, and the base were like, three people.

    The last three small-government, personal-responsibility Republicans on earth.

  28. Your blogs are becoming a bore, and sounding more like Wonkette more and more by the day..
    Got REASON?

  29. My wife says she’s still voting for Paul in today’s primary, but I went to the polls this morning, in a cold, driving rain, and just couldn’t declare myself an R.
    My nonpartisan ballot had just one local tax issue. I forget whether I voted against old people or the mentally retarded, but whichever, I felt warm inside.

  30. Plus, thanks to “jen”, I get to drink.

  31. How many Ron Paul Backers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    None. The Invisible Hand will do it.

    Kevin

  32. How many Ron Paul Backers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    1
    It’s just the same Ron Paul supporter over and over and over and over again

  33. How many Ron Paul Backers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    None… the constitution grants no authority to screw in light bulbs.

  34. SugarFree,

    Please stop making the 100 year war joke about McCain. It’s 2008. At most he’s only asking for a 92 year war.

    I hope the Congress extends the Mandatory Removal Dates for those of us who wish to stay in for a few years longer. I saw where the pay scale was extended from 28 years to 40 years, but still caps out at 28.

    Would be kinda cool to retire with 121 yrs of service, if that 92 year thing holds out
    🙂

  35. How many Ron Paul Backers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Was it purchased with gold, silver or salt?

  36. How many Ron Paul Backers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    The President of the Dallas chapter of the NAACP swears to God Almighty that Ron Paul can screw in a lightbulb by himself.

    What, do like the idea of dropping lightbulbs on brown people? I bet you live in city!!!

  37. You know, you THINK you’re crazy. You THINK you write batshit-insane things about the presidential race.

    You ain’t squat.

    http://althouse.blogspot.com/2008/03/why-are-letters-nig-on-childs-pajamas.html

  38. …yeah, he’s still running – backwards, if his steadily shrinking numbers are any indicator. Thank god there’s a trailer park resident wearing a tinfoil hat in West Possum who’s ready to keep Rep. Paul from sinking to absolute zero.

    Ahhh, best way to ‘win’ when you don’t have any intelligent criticism: bring out the words “tin foil,” “trailer park,”, or “wing nut.” Adam hit two out of three. Not bad going for an idiot.

  39. joe:

    wtf, I read the first paragraph and then saw there were 3 more pages written on it. Ann Althouse is nuts.

  40. joe,

    Feel free to observe the claws out on many other websites, where personal attacks on me take the place of any serious effort to engage on the merits. For example, the usually serious blogger Kevin Drum calls me harebrained and a glue sniffer. The vicious attack on the messenger bespeaks fear of the message and lack of a substantive argument against it.

    That reminds me of the chapter on lying in Peter Sagal’s Book of Vice. He gives a lesson on how to be a Massachusetts denier. I quoted it in the Urkobold comments once. To sum up, you say your batshit insane lie, then when people act like you’re crazy, you ask what are they hiding, why won’t they discuss the matter with you…

    Anyway, the point is, yeah, yer right. She is unbalanced, isn’t she?

  41. A Ron Paul supporter, a John Edwards supporter, and a Ralph Nader supporter walk into a bar to watch the election results…

    The Ron Paul supporter orders Cuervo Gold, the John Edwards supporter orders a mint Julep, and the Ralph Nader supporter orders a Midori…

    They get hammered and cry into their drinks as their candidates lose.

    Democracy bringing people together in misery.
    It is a beautiful thing.

  42. Neu Mejican,

    HERE’S A LITTLE TIP FROM YOUR UNCLE Urkobold?:

    JOKES ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE PUNCHLINES AND BE FUNNY.

  43. I think he was trying to write a circa 1987 SNL sketch.

  44. The vicious attack on the messenger bespeaks fear of the message and lack of a substantive argument against

    Of course, there ARE substantive arguments made against her delusional reading of the ad, in her own comment threat, which are responded to with “that’s just what they WANT you to think!” and “that just shows how deep this thing goes!”

    Ann Althouse is one of those people who thinks there are death’s heads in the ice cubes in liquor ads.

  45. A Ron Paul supporter, a John Edwards supporter, and a Ralph Nader supporter walk into a bar and the bartender says…

    GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!!!

  46. Joe, your link reminds me of the Democrat-RAT “subliminable” (mis-spelled on purpose for Bushism effect) ads in 2000.

  47. The base is anti-war, small government, and is for fiscal responsibility.

    Hell, *I’d* vote Republican if that were true, and I’ve never voted Republican in my life.

  48. I haven’t finished reading the comments on that Althouse piece yet, but this guy is in the front running for winning the thread:

    Gahrie said…

    Let us not be niggardly in our condemnation of this subtle attempt to interject the dark shadow of racism in this race. We can hardly be accused of attempting to blacken Hillary’s reputation by calling a spade a spade….she does play hardball politics.

    The jig should have been up on the Clintons long ago, but it’s spooky how they continue to dominate Democratic politics.

  49. That Althouse deal is pretty far out there.

  50. Cesar,

    At least “RATS” actually appeared on the screen in that ad, and somebody working for the campaign wrote the text. So it’s within the realm of the physically possible that some producer or editor could have made “RATS” flash on the screen on purpose.

    In this ad, NIG doesn’t even appear on the kid’s pajamas, and THEY’RE A PAIR OF KIDS PAJAMAS, bought in some store out of a package!

    The ‘RATS’ thing was just dumb. This is “my refidgerator keeps talking to me” insane.

  51. Trotting out Edwards is only slightly less ridiculous than the idea that some Republicans are putting out there to draft Gore.

  52. After I found this pair of weird sunglasses, all ads had things like “OBEY” and “MARRY AND REPRODUCE”. Weird, I tell you.

  53. Some people see the craziest things in ads. Some people even saw a cross once in a Huckabee ad.

  54. That was stupid, too. If Mike Huckabee wanted to put a cross in an ad, why would he do it subliminably? He talks openly in the ad about Christ, our Savior, but he has to work in the cross subliminably?

  55. I thought the cross stood out in the Huckabee ad. Not that it was a subliminal thing, just overkill with the Xtian crap.

  56. Flashing pictures on my screen
    Shown too quickly to be seen
    Does not register in my conscious mind
    Propaganda of another kind
    They’re fucking with me subliminally
    They’re fucking with me subliminally

    CHORUS
    Danger-nightmare
    Doomsday-nightmare
    Murder-nightmare
    Nightmare-nightmare

    Watching TV, I start to cry
    For no reason, I don’t know why
    Could it be from messages on my TV
    Which I’m getting subliminally?
    They’re fucking with me subliminally
    They’re fucking with me subliminally

    CHORUS

    Mind control the easiest way
    Sponsored by the CIA
    It’s a weapon you cannot see
    It’s propaganda subliminally
    They’re fucking with me subliminally
    They’re fucking with me subliminally

    CHORUS

  57. You mean the add where the lighting emphasis was on the crossing plain of a
    window frame and no where else? Yeah, nothing to see here folks.

    Trotting out Edwards is only slightly less ridiculous than the idea that some Republicans are putting out there to draft Gore.

    Damn, you exposed my plan.

  58. Again, Mike Huckabee talks about “Our Savior, Jesus Christ” in that ad. Why would he make the cross subliminal?

  59. This is politics. Joe, in a country where playing the victim wins you points.

    You put the subtle cross in there, people who are not fond of religionist complain, and your plausable denabilaty gains you traction. A Win/Win for the Huckabe and the Huckster, Pious man, and victim of secularist.

  60. It’s an ad about the War on Christmas, alan. He needs to gin up a reason to play the Christian victim?

  61. bleh,

    plausable denabilaty,

    plausible deniabilaty

    a stab in the dark, still haven’t had my second whisky this morning.

  62. It’s an ad about the War on Christmas, alan. He needs to gin up a reason to play the Christian victim?

    Lol. That is true! However, his men were likely also aware that the annual Christmas whiners complaining about ‘happy holidays’ have begun to rub a large segment of the public the wrong way.

    I’m just saying if I ran his campaign , that is how I would have done it. Got the secularist mad, got the pious on my side, and the indifferent to stay that way, or at least ask, ‘what
    are they attacking him for, he seems a descent guy?’

  63. Also, just being the professional artist I am, I have no doubt the emphasis on that crossing plane was put there with intention in mind.

  64. You, I’ve been wondering, how nuts does a Hillary Clinton conspiracy theory have to be before people will roll their eyes, instead of taking it seriously.

    I have my answer: this nuts.

  65. And on the next album, ST was telling us to “Join the Army.”

    Coincidence?

  66. It is not so much about the subliminal, it is about the meme, the message that gets passed around in the culture. I expect the politicians to understand this, the more crudely the message is played, the easier you can be roasted by a counter message. But, if you play it like a hand of Hearts, you anticipate your opponents move and already have the counter in mind before he makes it.

  67. Joe, your link reminds me of the Democrat-RAT “subliminable” (mis-spelled on purpose for Bushism effect) ads in 2000.

    My recollection is that the ad wasn’t mis-spelled. The word “Democrat” was reverse-zoomed into the screen, only the zoom was off-center, so that the letters R A T appeared first, followed by the rest of the word.

    Even so, it was pretty sophomoric. On all sides.

  68. Why would he make the cross subliminal?

    I dunno, but after I saw that ad I blanked out for a few minutes and when I came to I was wearing one of my old goth crosses.

  69. So there are no John Carpenter fans reading this thread, I guess. I don’t even know why I bother.

  70. Episiarch, do not despair. Why, it was only in the last couple of weeks that Urkobold posted the longest fight scene in cinematic history.

    “I’m giving you a choice: either put on these glasses or start eatin’ that trash can.”

  71. So there are no John Carpenter fans reading this thread, I guess.

    Wrong! I just don’t remember any suitable quotes – I’ve only seen it 2 or 3 times.

  72. John Carpenter has fans?

  73. Epi,

    I just didn’t want to give you the satisfaction, Mr. Bubblegum.

    (Did you know? Piper ad-libbed that line. Carpenter said “Walk in and say something cool.”)

  74. lunchstealer,

    Now this really pisses me off to no end! Big Trouble in Little China is the greatest movie ever.

  75. I was always a fan of Prince Of Darkness, especially the twist ending. I am a vocal minority on this.

  76. OK, that’s better. I was a little freaked out there.

    The Thing is fucking awesome. Very under appreciated for it’s cinematography, probably because people are busy freaking out at the awesome special effects.

  77. The Thing, Prince of Darkness – great movies.

    Trying to remember any other Carpenter flix that I really liked. . . .

  78. Escape from New York? Big Trouble in Little China? Memoirs of an Invisible Man? Starman? Revenge of the Colossal Beasts?

  79. Did you know? Piper ad-libbed that line.

    I think ad-libbed something about bubble-gum too. Ah, here it is: “I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubblegum.”

    Awesome.

  80. The bubblegum line is great but it seems like it’s sort of a ripoff of Ash saying “I got news for you pal, you ain’t leadin’ but two things right now: Jack and shit. And Jack left town.”

    Maybe not. Piper was a wrestler, after all, and they say some crazy shit.

  81. If “Porky’s” or “Sixteen Candles” are Carpenter works, then I am in!

  82. A Ron Paul supporter, a John Edwards supporter, and a Ralph Nader supporter walk into a bar and the bartender says…

    Is this a joke?

  83. Escape from New York? Big Trouble in Little China?

    Ok, I’ll add those to the list of good ones.

    The others, not so much.

  84. Episiarch,
    They Live was awesome, particularly for the fight scene over whether Keith David (not David Keith) would put on a pair of sunglasses. Roddy Piper apologizes, not for beating the shit out of him for what seems like forever, but for accidentally breaking his car window.

    joe,
    My theory about why the cross is subliminal: Hucakbee isn’t trying to hide his religious angle, he’s trying to get people to think he’s the second coming with fake signs and portents. Mark my words, that sonofabitch is the antichrist.

  85. Goddamn it, didn’t change back my handle.

    Again, mark my words: Mike Huckabee is the antichrist.

  86. Oh my God oh my God oh my God!

    Champ, there’s something I’ve always wanted to ask you: what’s Caveman Lee REALLY like?

  87. If I was the greatest middleweight ever to step into the ring, I wouldn’t want to lose my job, either.

  88. LOL @ joe.

  89. I grew up watching that guy fight.

    Once upon a time, he was Michael Jordan. He was Tiger Woods.

  90. In order to explain the handle change, on the Qaddafi thread a guy posted:

    Ken Hagler | March 4, 2008, 3:33pm | #
    Hey, I’m all in favor of making fun of silly speeches by politicians, but lets not forget–abolishing 12 ministries is more of a reduction in government than any US President (including Saint Ronald) has managed.

    to which I replied:

    Marvelous Marvin Hagler | March 4, 2008, 3:42pm | #
    Demolishing Thomas “Hit Man” Hearns in three rounds is more than any US President ever managed either.

    I was in middle school and high school at the time and a non-sport-type-guy, but I remember those two fights.

    All non-sport-type guys, head over to the Gygax RIP thread and let’s roll up characters!

  91. I think he was trying to write a circa 1987 SNL sketch.

    I was going more the the early Michael Richards on Fridays vibe.

    Or later Andy Kaufman, perhaps.

    Urkobold knows not what humor is, btw.

  92. Guy M,

    So far the winner of the 3 supporters walkin into a bar variation…

  93. Urkobold thinks stick figures fucking is funny.

    When, actually, fucking stick figures is very serious business.

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