McCain vs. McCain

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That didn't take very long.

Scant weeks after making a "no new taxes" pledge—quite the U-turn in itself—Sen. John McCain has doubled back to clarify. Uh-oh.

McCain tells The Wall Street Journal in an interview today that, "I'm not making a 'read my lips' statement, in that I will not raise taxes. But I'm not saying I can envision a scenario where I would, OK?"

Gotcha. Clear as mud, senator.

McCain also adds that as President he would not bitch so much about the Federal Reserve needing to cut rates to prop up the economy and that he'd explain all of these economic details in "a couple fireside chats" to help buck up consumer confidence. Or something.

Cannot wait to hear conservative talk radio hosts spin—or is it denounce day?—McCain's latest zag.

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  1. “a couple fireside chats”

    Fuck, not again!

  2. At this point in the race, the only thing that still needs to be done is for Michelle Obama to go pick out some new curtains for the Lincoln bedroom.

  3. or is it denounce day ?

    I predict they won’t denounce, they will reject. They may even denounce and reject.

  4. Tatix,

    I have an idea to mitigate the damage:

    If McCain wins, we keep emphasizing that Hugo Chavez believes in price controls. We also emphasize that he hates America. This will make the association in McCain’s brain that price controls are bad.

    On the other hand, our only hope with Obama is to hope for a pig-headed Republican Congress who hates his guts. unfortunately, I don’t think we will get that.

  5. They promise, we vote, they win, we’re stuck.

    Wish there were some way we could vote only after they’ve kept their promises.

    They way it operates at school. And at work. And in commerce. And in the rest of real life.

  6. Don’t worry, he’ll just have a conservative talk show host raise the taxes and then he’ll apologize for them.

  7. “Wish there were some way we could vote only after they’ve kept their promises.”

    Sorry, but politics is like marriage: All the promises get broken after you’re stuck with it, and when you try to get rid of them, they always take half of everything you own.

  8. By the way Matt, did you ever find out the answer to whether or not McCain has ever has an earmark?

  9. Whoops, I just saw that the post wasn’t from Matt. I saw a post about McCain and just assumed. My bad.

  10. “I’m not making a ‘read my lips’ statement, in that I will not raise taxes. But I’m not saying I can envision a scenario where I would, OK?”

    The Senator went on, “I mean, I could envision those kinds of scenarios, but my campaign advisor really helps me out with that. He’s implanted a little chip behind my ear that says “Don’t think about a purple elephant riding a tandem bicycle with Zooey Deschanel.” And when somebody says something like that, you can’t help but think about it. So I haven’t been able to think about raising taxes. Clever really. Although his fixation on Zooey Deschanel seems a bit creepy to me.”

  11. He means what he says except when he doesnt.^

    Just like Obama.

  12. he’d explain all of these economic details in “a couple fireside chats” to help buck up consumer confidence

    Didn’t he already admit not too long ago that he doesn’t know very much about economics? I don’t think anything he could say is going increase my confidence in the economy – more likely just the opposite.

  13. To give the guy some credit, John McCain probably doesn’t remember what he says from one day to the next – what with the dementia coming on.

  14. Hola, Aresen. You can’t insult Barack “Jeebus” Obama! He’s a saint. This thread is for insulting John “Wayne”* McCain.

    * no insult to the Duke intended (McQ is a terrible movie, though)

  15. He’ll end up raising taxes to pay for his war with Iran.

    I can see it now. “My friends, we must sacrifice to a cause greater than our self-interest, my friends”.

  16. Epi,

    Ouch. How do you say taxes in Arabic? maybe Grandpa AngryPants can blame taxes on those sneaky A-rabs as well.

  17. Jizya?

    I want McCain to be president just so one day he can come out of the White House in his pajamas and yell at the reporters to get off his lawn.

  18. Episiarch, Bad movie, sweet car.

  19. McCain also adds that as President he would not bitch so much about the Federal Reserve needing to cut rates to prop up the economy

    holy shit!! are we sure RP didn’t have an effect on the race.

  20. Buenos tardes, Episiarch.

    Its my post and I”ll insult who I want to.

    (Can”t find the danged apostrophe on this Spanish keyboard.)

  21. Isn’t the apostrophe over the 2?

  22. Epi,

    I can’t wait for the State of the Union where he rails against kids who won’t pull their pants up.

  23. Don’t you mean “Over the Dos?”

  24. It’s a damn good thing the Secret Service would drive him everywhere.

    Don’t you mean “Over the Dos?”

    Por que no te callas?

  25. It’s a damn good thing the Secret Service would drive him everywhere.

    Yes, farmer’s markets all over the country breathe a sigh of relief.

  26. Epi,

    Maybe I would if you had included the upside-down question mark. Without it, your statement is just gibberish.

  27. Nope. That”s the quotation mark, which is as close as I can get.

    ctrl + alt + 2 gets me @.

    BTW, in case anyone thinks I”m being wimpy using “danged”, it is because Spain is a country where good manners and polite speech are valued. No one with any class or manners would say %$”?* or ?+&% or Por que no te callas? (Although, for some reason, the last seems very popular on t-shits here.

  28. t-shirts

    Although it was funnier the first time.

  29. Sheesh. Yet another reason to support Wayne Root for President.

    (BTW, I pulled the lever last Tuesday in the GOP primary for some guy named Voah Tranh. He’s apparently from southern Califoria, a Vietnamese refugee running as a Republican for President. If you’re a Republican YOU DO NOT HAVE TO VOTE FOR MCCAIN I THE PRIMARY! There are other choices on the ballot. Some guy named Jim Cox too.)

  30. Took you that long to go to Babelfish, did it?

    I don’t have a Spanish keyboard 🙁

    I do, however, understand ASCII codes:

    ?Por que no te callas?

  31. because Spain is a country where good manners and polite speech are valued

    Yikes. I wouldn’t last two minutes.

  32. Sugarfree

    Can”t find the introductory interogatory mark either.

  33. The second “por que…” can be for Dondero.

  34. BTW, a little bit of breaking news…

    Mike Gravel! of all people told an audience at Harvard the other day, that he’s now considering running for President “on the Libertarian ticket.”

    I shit you not. Stephen Gordon has the story up at thirdpartywatch.com

  35. Por que soy libertario. Y tengo todos los derechos como los otros aqui para hacer comentarios sobre las noticias de dia.

    O, tal vez, eres una fascista que le gusta prohibir otros que comento?

    Solamente una pregunta. No estoy diciendo que eres una fascista, claro que si.

  36. Aresen, if you are on a Windows machine go:

    Start -> Programs -> Accessories -> System Tools -> Character Map

    Then you can pick, copy, and paste any fucking character you want. For instance:

    Essen schei?en!

  37. No, Eric, I was just being a dick. However, by using “fascista” you are dangerously close to Godwining. You would have gotten bonus points for comparing me to Franco, though. For the subtlety of it all.

  38. Way to go, Dondy. That was an evasion of Dan T. proportions.

    You comment all you want and we call you a twatwallet all we want. That’s how it works. Don’t like it? Crawl up your own ass, fuck-cicle.

    And for a Guliani supporter to suggest someone is a fascist… wow… you reveal yourself over and over to be a troll.

  39. Episiarch

    Thanks. I”ll remember that when I”m not being charged $2.50/hr for using the machine.

    For now, however, I”m going to go watch the sun set over the Atlantic. Maybe I”ll see the green flash. I”ve always wanted to, but haven”t yet.

    J sub D

    If you happen to read this, have you ever seen the green flash? I ask you because I think you said you were in the Navy and IIRC, one is most likely to see the green flash over the ocean.

    I have to go now, but I”ll check back in a day or so to see your answer.

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