Reagan Died for Your Sins!

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Every modern CPAC has a dizzingly degree of Reagan worship, and while it couldn't match the effluvia from the elected GOPers onstage, Ace of Spades' Blogger of the Year acceptance speech was some kind of highlight. "We spent months waiting for Reagan to come along," Ace said. "Reagan didn't show up." Heads nodded. "He might not show up for a generation, or more." That's right: Reagan is Jesus. Ace suggested that bloggers and resistors to the coming Obama Reich could be their own, personal Reagans, "like the people in the movie Spartacus, raising their hands and saying 'I am Spartacus!'"

Walking away from this I passed by the big political button booth and watched a young kid running his fingers over a lucite-encased ticket to the 1981 Reagan inaugural. "You won't find one of those anywhere else!" said the vendor. "Wow," said the kid. I asked him: He was born in 1986. But I bought a "Sock it to 'Em, Spiro!" button so I don't have room to talk.


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  1. Ace won blogger of the year? Sweet tap-dancing Jesus that guy is a douche!

  2. [puts on Guy Fawkes outfit]

    You go ahead and be a Reagan, I’ll really do something worthwhile about government.

  3. more like Reagan is the Dalai Lama. There is only one Jesus, but there have been many Dalai Lamas.

  4. That’s impressively unlike what actually transpired.

  5. You’re a nattering nabob of negativism there, Wiegel!

  6. I still wear my AuH2O button to events where I know local GOP bigshots are attending.

  7. if get cracking on stem cell research, we might have zombie reagan in a few years.

    “GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…uh? huh.”

  8. Much like Reagan, I too have a fondness for M&Ms.

  9. I thought Reagan’s fondness was for jelly beans, not M&Ms.

  10. There’s a market for my huge stash of counterfeit Reagan innaugural tickets? Sweeeeeet!

  11. They want Reagans, but all they’re getting are politicians who support amnesty for illegal immigrants, give in to Democratic plans to raise taxes, increase the size of the federal government, and merely pay lip service to the ideals of the religious right.

    …Wait, what?

  12. What’s funny is I’m told they booed Reagan when he appeared at CPAC in ’76.

    But I guess the multitude booed Christ, too.

  13. Colin, if Christ actually came back today, they’d crucify him all over again.

  14. I thought about going to CPAC this weekend, but your post about Reagan worship got me back to my senses. Part of the problem with conservatives these days is too much worship of Reagan and not enough worship of Goldwater.

  15. Reagan’s ability to inspire people as President is what people miss. That, and his ability to inspire people with the rhetoric of small government. His actual policies were hit and miss, but the tax cuts were pretty dramatic (the top rate was lowered from 50% to 28%).

  16. Part of the problem with conservatives these days is too much worship of Reagan and not enough worship of Goldwater.

    The problem with “conservatives” is there’s too much worship of the state.

  17. I thought Reagan’s fondness was for jelly beans, not M&Ms.

    a history channel thing the other day said that he swapped from m&m’s to jelly beans around the time of his ’80 campaign to reduce his sugar intake. (and he started on the m&m’s a decade or so earlier to substitute for smoking cigarettes)

  18. The problem with conservatives is there’s too much worship

  19. if Christ actually came back today, they’d crucify him all over again.

    Nah, he’d have his own MySpace page and boast about all his “friends.”

  20. Speaking of kids at the CPAC, Russell Kirk fanboy, libertarian hater and “National Greatness Conservative” extraordinaire Thad McCotter just dropped by RedState to implore Generation X (in grandiose rhetoric that makes me want to puke) to cast off “morally vacuous and poisonously dogmatic” libertarianism:

    Today, as this generation of young conservatives embarks upon their service to America, I hope they will be inspired and guided by Kirk’s caution to my Generation X conservatives, many of whom did not heed his wisdom:

    “‘The woods are full of these creatures,’ this gentleman writes. ‘The conservative ‘movement’ seems to have reared up a new generation of rigid ideologists. It distresses me to find them as numerous and in so many institutions. Of course, many are libertarians, not conservatives. Whatever they call themselves, they are bad for the country and our civilization. Theirs is a cold-blooded, brutal view of life.’

    “Amen to that?

    No. Fuck that. And fuck you too, Congressman.

    The Great Libertarian Purge continues. The GOP must be flying pretty god damn high, is all I can say.

    Mike Church (a vehement Paul defender) put up an interesting video clip (Lou Cannon on Ronald Reagan). In short, he asserts Reagan would not have gone into Iraq, no way, no how.

  21. if Christ actually came back today, they’d crucify him all over again.

    Nah, he’d have his own MySpace page and boast about all his “friends.”

    But would Tom doubt his divinity?

  22. Cannon video clip. (Bad link up there.)

  23. Ronald Reagan and Republicans.

    All necrophilia; all the time.

    But then again, as governor he did pardon Merle Haggard.

  24. Dave Weigel:

    What’s the question you asked of a policy/opinion maker that made them the most uncomfortable?

    Oh.

  25. Can we have a cage match between Zombie Reagan and Zombie Goldwater, winner to eat the brains of everyone in attendance at CPAC that year? If you make it available on pay-per-view, it should bring in big bux.

  26. As governor, Reagan sent in the goons to gas my parents and the other peaceful demonstrators in Berkeley over the People’s Park. Of course, that’s the kind of thing conservatives love him for.

  27. When I turned 18 I registered Republican, specifically so I could vote against Reagan in the California primary.

    Imagine my surprise at his fanbase now!

    Of course, I was a rabid environmentalist at the time.

  28. But I bought a “Sock it to ‘Em, Spiro!” button so I don’t have room to talk.

    Yeah, that’s kinda like my The Nice t-shirt was until they actually got back together for a few shows a while back.

  29. Ronald Reagan and Republicans.

    All necrophilia; all the time.

    But then again, as governor he did pardon Merle Haggard.

    Had W. been governor of California, he would’ve pardoned Johnny Cash.

  30. It is not just Republicans trying to invoke Reagan. Obama talked about how significant Reagan is, and he imitates the kind ofinspirational fluff that made up so much of Reagan’s speeches.

    Even Hillary Clinton is becoming more like Reagan – she wore more make-up at the last debate.

  31. if Christ actually came back today, they’d crucify him all over again.

    Nah, he’d have his own MySpace page and boast about all his “friends.”

    It’s Jesus, lol.

  32. http://shortpacked.com/comics/20080208limbaugh.png

    And, for those who insist on context, the start of this storyline:

    http://shortpacked.com/d/20080121.html

    Um. More Context, I guess.

    http://www.shortpacked.com/d/20050202.html

  33. Why would the modern CPAC worship Reagan?!!

    I mean, yes, I know why CPAC might worship Reagan, but that was back when Republicans actually understood the stuff that Milton Friedman wrote. Now they practically reject it.

    What’s funny is I’m told they booed Reagan when he appeared at CPAC in ’76.

    They probably did.

  34. Reagan was pretty fucking dumb, but he could remember his lines. Well, naybe not later.

  35. Reagan was pretty fucking dumb, but he could remember his lines.

    But yet was able to mastermind global conspiracies out the yin-yang.

  36. I’m pretty sure that Reagan always comes back, unless you fill his mouth with rock salt and bury him at a crossroads.

    Or is that vampires? I honestly can’t remember.

  37. “Had W. been governor of California, he would’ve pardoned Johnny Cash.”

    Actually, Johnny Cash was never imprisoned. He performed and recorded albums at Folsom Prison and at San Quentin.

    Of course, reality has never interfered with W., so he might have issued the pardon, anyway.

  38. Reagan never came back because Bush, CIA agent, got elected after making a deal with Satan for a spaceship, device, and some lucifer created(cloned) aliens. Why? Because CIA gents want to travel in time and teleport to other planets. Air Force had the deal for too long anyway and it’s a good way to make sure the kids get jobs with the federal government.

    Idiots who were denied by Satan(CIA and Air Force) time travel and teleportation got upset and wanted in(dems), but they had already chosen lucifer. Clinton. They all got even ruining the planet. So, it had to be explained Satan is bad. He plans on destroying everything in existence, which is why Bush made the deal for the ship and the luciferian created aliens.

    Reagan was never resurrected because most can’t figure out someone coming back from the dead with wings on them is bad. Reagan had one life and was released from the death that is damning by God.

    Anyway Bill had all the Republicans made so they couldn’t run for President. Remind you of anyone?

  39. What’s funny is I’m told they booed Reagan when he appeared at CPAC in ’76

    Norman Podhoretz angrily denounced President Reagan as “Neville Chamberlain” — a view shared by a number of neocons in the 80s — for engaging the Soviets in arms reduction talks. That Chamberlain trope, them neocons loves it!

  40. What a fucking joke. It is always funny to read this site ripping on people who “worship” Reagan while at the same time posting article after article on a bigot, and his so called rEvolution, who never got more than a few thousand votes per state. You might want to can the “messiah” jokes lest you appear to be even bigger hypocrites than you already are.

    And the Obama reich joke was just plain retarded. I have not heard one conservative even remotely compare Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler; and don’t insult our intelligence by claiming you meant something else when you used the word reich.
    Of course, the only candidate whose bigotry even remotely qualifies him to take up the mantle of the Nazis is Ron Paul and not even his pathetic racist ass should be mentioned in the same breath as Adolf Hitler. David Duke, yes, Adolf Hitler, no.

  41. “””but the tax cuts were pretty dramatic (the top rate was lowered from 50% to 28%).”””

    Couple that with the goal of an 800 ship navy and you create a situation that will require the next president to break his pledge of “Read my lips, no new taxes.”

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