Welfare

Perfect 1980s Vintage Xmas Gift

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public assistance

Are you stuck in the "working man's rut"? Would you rather be on the "able-bodied welfare recipient's promenade"? Play the Public Assistance board game and find out, while reliving the glory that was 1980s welfare politics.

The game allows to you to have out-of-wedlock children, or take in game money featuring Santa, Karl Marx, L.B.J, or a "Generic Liberal Senator."

Draw a Welfare Benefit like the "Get Out of Having to Get a Job" card, or a Working Person's Burden like the "your son is beat up by ethnic gang while being bussed across town to school" card.

Enjoy the game that prompted the NAACP to declare: "We are doing everything we can to prevent it from going on the market," and the director of the Public Assistance Coalition to whimper: "We ask you to consider revising or discontinuing production of your game."

Buy the vintage 1980 edition, shown above.

Via Cheryl Miller

NEXT: Baby, This Town Used to Rip the Bones from Your Back

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  1. I think I'll just get a drink and a bowl of popcorn, set myself up in a comfy chair, and watch this thread run.

  2. That is so goddamn wrong. And funny. Also very funny.

  3. Sweet! Is there a REALLY expensive corporate version of this game?

    Didn't think so.

  4. This has got to be released for the PC.
    I'll disappear for a freakin' month playing it.
    Oh, and speaking of "PC" ...

  5. The '80s were fun. I think.

  6. They need a Corporate Welfare game after this, to be fair.

    "Iowa caucuses are this year! Collect $1,000 in ethanol subsidies!"

  7. "They need a Corporate Welfare game after this, to be fair."

    Yes, but it has to be REALLY expensive...it's gotta cost a lot more than those black welfare moms did, you know, like SNL bailout expensive.

  8. The link to the "Get out of Having to Get a Job Card" is wrong. Should be:
    http://www.welfaregame.com/games/public/benefit.htm

    It's currently the same as the "game money" link.

  9. You gotta love this game card:

    "You are up for a high-paying promotion but government affirmative action rules require that a disadvantaged, minority, homosexual Buddhist female be promoted over you. Lose $500."

  10. Part of me really laughed, and the other part thought of the TV show "Good Times", the backdrop of which is hier, the upper-left hand corner of the pic.

    This is a shot looking east up Division Street at Larabee.

    The corporate welfare game is a great idea, and Pinko nails it!

    For boardgames, Scotland Yard is still a mega-classic!!

  11. Tacky, tacky, tacky.

    A show of hands, who, besides me, thought of basketball great Cheryl Miller when they read the post, and had to go check to be sure it wasn't?

    I agree that a corporate version is warranted.

  12. you know, like SNL bailout expensive.

    What? What are you talking about? There never was a bailout of Saturday Night Live. Next topic! Next topic! Go back to talking about the welfare game, you young punk!

  13. You know, I blame the politicians way more than the welfare recipients. In a backwards sort of way they're made victims as much as the taxpayer is.

  14. (oh - that's the infamous Cabrini Green hell hole, so "Good Times" it most certainly was not, and it was a pictorial way of saying what JsubD said.)

    Jsub - oh - the best player in the Miller household? 🙂

  15. "you know, like SNL bailout expensive"

    true..yes I cringed when I let that one go.

  16. Jsub - oh - the best player in the Miller household? 🙂

    Reggie said he learned humility by getting his hoops ass kicked by her in the backyard.

  17. Part of me really laughed, and the other part thought of the TV show "Good Times"

    So both parts laughed?

    Dyno-mite!

  18. HIGHNUMBER!!

    hrumph.

    (look, I said I was sorry about the avocado incident.)

  19. Goddammit. All I can think about is Thelma & Willona.

    Go 'way...

  20. if you actually go and watch an episode of Good Times you'll quickly learn/recall that it was one of the worst scripted television series of all time. Just dreadful dialogue.

    One time, when I was stoned out of my gourd, I became EXTREMELY FRIGHTENED while watch GT because I thought I could see JJ's spinal column sticking out of the front of his chest cavity and through his super-tight t-shirt.

    I think my fear was justified.

  21. This thing couldn't be re-released today... the PC Police would file so many lawsuits even Johnnie Cochran would find a way to rise from the grave for a piece of the action.

    And that was probably a racist statement. I'd better check to see if the Reverend Al Law Firm has subpoenaed me right after I hit the "submit comment" button.

  22. The Southern Poverty Law Center is on it. I'm sure.

  23. This thing couldn't be re-released today... the PC Police would file so many lawsuits even Johnnie Cochran would find a way to rise from the grave for a piece of the action.

    You're probably right.

  24. When I was a kid, we had this great Monopoly-like board game called "Beat the Border" where one bought kilos of pot in Mexico. You'd get more money if you could move the stuff to more northern U.S. cities, but your risk of getting busted also went up. Instead of advancing to Illinois Avenue, you could buy a heater or bribe a cop.

    We were a born-again Christian family who didn't indulge in drugs, but we still thought it was all good fun. In fact, I think my sister got the game from some friend at some Christian conference. I guess this goes a long way towards explaining how I ended up as a libertarian -- I obviously have some a bunch of bible-thumping conservative and damned-dirty-hippy liberal sentiments all mixed up in my addled brain.

    1. Do you know where i could find this game? my grandpa LOVES this game and we played a couple times when i was younger. He wants this for xmas and i cant hardly find it! Thanks!

  25. Now that I've had a chance to look at the game pieces, I know what I'm getting the white-flighters in the family for Xmas.

  26. I love how in the game pieces they keep using the word "ethnic". Your kid is beat up by an "ethnic gang", your daughter brings home an "ethnic boyfriend" that you beat up.

    Hmm, I wonder what the word ethnic means? Something tells me they aren't talking about Poles and Italians.

  27. If they're Irish, they may well be talking about those stinkin' spaghetti munchers.

  28. Maybe I thought they meant "Black" beacuse I'm a southerner and there aren't really any "ethnicities" here. White is white.

  29. Hmm, I wonder what the word ethnic means? Something tells me they aren't talking about Poles and Italians.

    In th '80s in meant niggers and wetbacks. In the 21st Century it of course means Islamofascist arabs and illegal aliens.

    Any further questions?


  30. In th '80s in meant niggers and wetbacks. In the 21st Century it of course means Islamofascist arabs and illegal aliens.

    Now see, some jackass could come on here and whine about how I'm being "PC". Well, they're the ones who are being PC not me. If they meant DirtyNegroes and SmellyBeaners they should have just said that on the game cards if they wanted to be "un-PC".

    Hm, I wonder what a LoneWackoOpoly would look like?

  31. SmellyBeaners
    wetbacks

    I am offended and outraged by the ethnic slurs on this thread.To whom do I lodge my complaint?
    I'm getting right on it, just as soon as I take a siesta while leaning up against a cactus.

  32. If they meant DirtyNegroes and SmellyBeaners they should have just said that on the game cards if they wanted to be "un-PC".

    I'm sure they did use those terms, Cesar, if they were sure they weren't in mixed company.

  33. OMG! KM-W, you so ROCK! I do not remember this game from then but I HEART it!

    Have you ever written anything on "Anti-Monopoly"? It was a 'big' Leftist game, got sued by the Monopoly game manufacturer and was marketed by Burt Ward, of Batman fame. If there is a Mike Douglas Show archive of his appearance there pitching the game, check it out.

    One of there 'defenses' in the media was "if Monopoly were called ripoff the consumer then we would not be getting sued" or something like that.

  34. The 80's sucked. The movies. The hair metal. The awful sitcoms.

  35. I am offended and outraged by the ethnic slurs on this thread.To whom do I lodge my complaint?
    I'm getting right on it, just as soon as I take a siesta while leaning up against a cactus.

    Call Franklin Foer. He is looking to pick fights with all publications that disagreed with his "Baghdad Diarist", before he decided to disagree with him.

  36. Just for balance ... anyone remember this game?

  37. Just for balance ... anyone remember this game?

    No, but like most things Marxist it looks incredibly boring.

  38. This is a shot looking east up Division Street at Larabee.

    Hey, that's like a mile from my apartment. Go a block or in any direction and things are starting to look real different now.

  39. In th '80s in meant niggers and wetbacks. In the 21st Century it of course means Islamofascist arabs and illegal aliens.

    As long as they don't mean Pork Chop.

  40. "your son is beat up by an ethnic gang while being bussed across town to school"

    Gee, what kind of ethnic gang did you have in mind, Anglo-Saxons? Funny how no one objected to bussing when it was used to promote segregation, only when it was used to promote integration.

    Maybe we should call this the White Working Class Self Pity Game.

  41. Col. Samuel Trautman: There will be no mocking 80's movies. Better Off Dead... Clue... The Dark Crystal... Labyrinth... Ferris Bueller's Day Off... Classics... every one...

    Nephilium

  42. Gee, what kind of ethnic gang did you have in mind, Anglo-Saxons?

    Maybe the "ethnic" group that is 10% of the population but commits as much crime as the other 90% put together.

    Damn white working class. Always worrying about their kids getting raped and murdered, with no consideration for liberal dogma.

  43. You know, I blame the politicians way more than the welfare recipients. In a backwards sort of way they're made victims as much as the taxpayer is.

    I agree wholeheartedly. The same govt that doles out a meager subsistence income to the inner-city poor also forces their children to go to awful, dysfunctional school-prisons, makes it illegal to hire them unless their skills are worth $8+ an hour, makes their neighborhoods the front lines of the War on Drugs, and confiscates their property if it's desired by a rich or politically connected developer. Then, if they manage to get publicly funded housing, the govt claims the right to search it without a warrant since it's not private property.

    And, if that all wasn't enough, then the urban poor get made into scapegoats by "conservative" jackasses who love all the above policies, but don't like having to pay taxes.

  44. I'm sure glad there's no perception that libertarians are kinda racist or hate poor people. Otherwise, this thread seem like a bad idea.

  45. I remember when its makers talked at the Laissez Faire Supper Club of Manhattan. A city council member had asked Gimbels not to stock it.

  46. Anonymo,

    KMW's post doesn't exactly read as an endorsement of the ideas behind the game.

  47. Chalupa,

    Are you talking about gays? That might've been true back when sodomy laws were on the books, but I thought that the SCOTUS found a constitutional right to "enter through the exit" a few years ago.

  48. Hm, I wonder what a LoneWackoOpoly would look like?

    You would be unable to pass Go and collect $200 because a giant wall would block your path.

  49. Seitz-
    Being called a pork chop would seem to be offensive to pigs, not Puerto Ricans (like how you shouldn't call a woman after her best part)

    But why did they not go with Ferrous to begin with? It got the most votes 235-32. Are they like the Mascot Electoral College?

  50. Ron Paul plays this game every Thursday for family game night.

  51. Edward, you fool!

    R** P*** has family night on Wednesdays!

  52. Fuck off, VM. I know that's you spoofing me. Fool.

  53. Col. Samuel Trautman: There will be no mocking 80's movies. Better Off Dead... Clue... The Dark Crystal... Labyrinth... Ferris Bueller's Day Off... Classics... every one...

    Nephilium

    More wacky driving fun with Ferris Bueller:

    In 1988, near Enniskillen in County Fermanagh, Northern Ireland, movie star MATTHEW BRODERICK was driving a rented BMW and inexplicably crossed the center lane, crashing head-on into a Volvo carrying local woman Anna Gallagher and her mother, Margaret Dougherty. Both women were killed. Broderick's passenger, actress Jennifer Grey, escaped with minor injuries, and Broderick ended up in an Irish hospital with a concussion, broken leg and collapsed lung. He was charged with causing death by dangerous driving, but ended up being convicted of the lesser charge of careless driving. He paid a fine of $175.

  54. Really? Matt's got a higher body count than either Teddy or I do?

  55. "Chalupa" regurgitated the following from the Tancredo '08 message board::Maybe the "ethnic" group that is 10% of the population but commits as much crime as the other 90% put together.

    Damn white working class. Always worrying about their kids getting raped and murdered, with no consideration for liberal dogma.

    What a crock of shit. 80% of those in prison are there for nonviolent drug offenses. Minorities, namely Hispanics and African-Americans, are disproportionately arrested and imprisoned for the same drug offenses rich white boys get away with. And seriously -- what about all the crimes committed by the U.S. government, which last time I checked is run almost exclusively by crusty, old, upper class white men? Seems the government has done a pretty good job of raping and murdering in Iraq. Oh, but those are brown people? Never mind, nothing to see here...

    Also, by the way, blacks are much more likely to be victims of violent crime than whites (http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/homicide/race.htm), in good part due to the truly criminal war on drugs that creates the market for violent gangs to take over poorer neighborhoods to sell said drugs.

    I love how racists try to obfuscate their racism by claiming that anyone who points out that they are, you know, racists, is one of those darned "P.C" "libruls."

  56. Let's make sure we're using the actual definition of "racism"...

    http://m-w.com/dictionary/racist

    ...a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race...

    Especially this part.

  57. In response to damn white working class he says:

    What about all the crimes committed by the U.S. government, which last time I checked is run almost exclusively by crusty, old, upper class white men?

    Yes, of course: All white men think and act alike. No racism here.

  58. Gee, what kind of ethnic gang did you have in mind, Anglo-Saxons?

    No, Hell's Grannies, silly.

  59. My family had a board game when I was a small child in the 70s called "Lie Cheat and Steal". It was a game of politics. You bought votes, worked with crooked unions and party bosses. It was great. The whole point I think was to get elected mayor of some corrupt city if I remember correctly. Anyone else ever play this game? I wish I could find our old copy. If I ever have children, it would be very educational for them I think.

  60. I used to think it was fun to freak out the squares.

    Then I turned 19.

  61. "Lie, Cheat, and Steal". Only $60 here: http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/866
    Google knows all! Google knows what you were doing the other day -- don't try to lie about it now.

  62. One time, when I was stoned out of my gourd, I became EXTREMELY FRIGHTENED while watch GT because I thought I could see JJ's spinal column sticking out of the front of his chest cavity and through his super-tight t-shirt.

    you are my new favorite poster of all time, mp.

    sorry moose.

  63. Thank you Mike Laursen.

  64. We didn't have "Lie, Cheat, and Steal", but we did play "Political Monopoly" where all the players stop the Monopoly game every ten turns and democratically enact any law they felt like enacting. It would, of course, always lead to wealth redistribution and holding back whoever was winning at the time.

    Curiously, it was invented by a Chinese exchange student who was living with my sister's family, who was one of the most hard core capitalists I've ever met.

    I also came up with a Monopoly variant where all of the players could buy shares of other players' real estate holdings. It worked pretty well, but my niece rebelled at being stuck with doing all the dividend accounting.

  65. Have you ever written anything on "Anti-Monopoly"? It was a 'big' Leftist game,...

    The original Monopoly game was leftist too. The creator was a socialist who was trying to expose the evils of capitalism. Somewhere along the line people just found it was a lot of fun to play and somwhow the message escaped them.

  66. That is a great spin on monopoly. I remember my family's monopoly games going on for hours and being to the death.

  67. What a crock of shit. 80% of those in prison are there for nonviolent drug offenses. Minorities, namely Hispanics and African-Americans, are disproportionately arrested and imprisoned for the same drug offenses rich white boys get away with. And seriously -- what about all the crimes committed by the U.S. government, which last time I checked is run almost exclusively by crusty, old, upper class white men? Seems the government has done a pretty good job of raping and murdering in Iraq. Oh, but those are brown people? Never mind, nothing to see here...

    Also, by the way, blacks are much more likely to be victims of violent crime than whites (http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/homicide/race.htm), in good part due to the truly criminal war on drugs that creates the market for violent gangs to take over poorer neighborhoods to sell said drugs.

    I love how racists try to obfuscate their racism by claiming that anyone who points out that they are, you know, racists, is one of those darned "P.C" "libruls."

    I can agree with you 100% on the drug war, but still say that doesn't excuse rape and murder. Neither does white racism, or anything else.

    I'll never understand the liberal mind that gets more pissed about say, the difference in sentencing between crack and powder cocaine, than violent crime. And no doubt the drug war is a disaster, but it is not a be all and end all excuse.

  68. The original Monopoly game was leftist too. The creator was a socialist who was trying to expose the evils of capitalism.

    Actually it was created by a Georgist who was trying to expose the inequities of private land ownership, not at all a socialist.

  69. I stand corrected, highnumber.

    Mind you, a lot of Georgists did tend socialist, but that's a different story.

  70. Remember "Nukem" from the Robocop movies?

  71. And, if that all wasn't enough, then the urban poor get made into scapegoats by "conservative" jackasses who love all the above policies, but don't like having to pay taxes.

    Except, of course, that conservatives tend to oppose raising the minimum wage, are trying (however feebly) to break the state school monopoly. The stuff about supporting the WOD and confiscating property is pretty equal opportunity for cons and libs, I would say.

  72. "I'll never understand the liberal mind that gets more pissed about say, the difference in sentencing between crack and powder cocaine, than violent crime."

    When you find that liberal mind send me the link, and I'll be right behind you not understanding them, and I'll bring enough straw for everyone, promise.

  73. EEEddddwwwaaarrrddd | December 7, 2007, 12:42am | #
    Ron Paul plays this game every Thursday for family game night.

    Edward | December 7, 2007, 1:33am | #
    Fuck off, VM. I know that's you spoofing me. Fool.

    wasn't me. (that's way, way, way past my bedtime, grin)

  74. Chalupa, because ending the drug war would probably drastically reduce violent crime. Like with what happened after the repeal of alcohol prohibition--crime went through the floor.

    I don't get why you're so scared about crime, though. This isn't 1991--crime is down to mid-1960s levels now for Gods sake.

  75. In the 1950s there was a Monopolyish board game called "Boom or Bust" in which economic conditions could change suddenly, with e.g. real estate prices going drastically down or up.

    To add corporate welfare to "Public Assistance," let's have an "Election" stop; anyone who lands on it makes a special roll, and with certain throws, the board is literally turned over and all the government money flows the other way. Anyone who owns an individual politician--surely that's in the original game?--must also make a special roll to see if the critter stays in office.

    And speaking of individual politicians, if you haven't done so already, go to http://www.whatonearthcatalog.com and check out item AY 3882, the Hillary nutcracker (would I lie to you?).

  76. This thing couldn't be re-released today... the PC Police would file so many lawsuits even Johnnie Cochran would find a way to rise from the grave for a piece of the action.

    Wait, are you talking about the "Public Assistance" game or Good Times?

  77. Probably both, Stevo, given todays' politically-correct climate. I wouldn't be surprised if phrases like "I'm going to the store for a gallon of milk" or "I can't find a space anywhere in this Target parking lot" aren't seen as racism-laden hate speech by the likes of the Sharpton & Jackson Law Firm...

  78. You know, everyone loves to hate PC. It's such an easy target -- I don't think I've ever heard it defended. It actually threw me for a loop when I read Angels in America and saw one character earnestly chide another, "You know, that's not politically correct." Apparently people used to say that in the 90's.

    But how is political correctness any different than saying, "This is degrading," or "This oversimplifies the issue vastly and inflames hate," or even just "This is rude"? Would it be so awful if the bulk of society frowned on certain kinds of defamation?
    (Of course, I'm not talking about legal restrictions on speech -- I agree that a lot of these lawsuits are overkill. But if you're going to make racial slurs, expect people to strenuously object, and don't cry that you're being picked on by the big bad PC police.)

  79. src, nobody with a brain defends racial slurs. The "PC" behavior-control types go way beyond that social taboo.

  80. Sorry. Hadn't slept much, was under-caffeinated, posted without thinking.

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