A Corrupt DC Tax Official's Plea for Help?

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As sometime and part-time resident of the District of Columbia, I have watched with horror, fascination, and amusement the corrupt shenanigans of Washington's city government for nearly thirty years. After the political demise of Marion "Mayor for Life" Barry, the city government actually began to clean up its act. Apparently, the clean up has not yet reached into all the dark nooks and crannies of DC's local government.

Since last week, residents have been treated to an unfolding scam in which property tax officials issued to themselves and their cronies bogus property tax refund checks amounting to millions of dollars. For me, the Washington Post reported the piece de resistance of this scandal today. To wit:

A Washington Post analysis of city records has found a total of $31.7 million in questionable property tax refunds dating back seven years—including $346,700 to one fictitious company named "Bilkemor LLC."

Bilkemor LLC? Is it possible that a corrupt tax official was crying out for help–"please stop me before I graft again?"

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  1. The most impressive thing about Marion Barry is that things got worse under Sharon Pratt Kelley.

    I didn’t think that was possible.

  2. I doubt it. More likely, it’s evidence of the extent of that official’s cynicism and expectation of getting away with it completely.

  3. I just spit coffee all over my monitor.

  4. At least the crook has a sense of humor.

  5. Episiarch,

    Government spending is never stealing. Weren’t you paying attention yesterday? Sheesh.

  6. SugarFree, you caught me. I wasn’t paying attention.

  7. Episiarch, I except you to stay after school and write: “Elected officials can steal because we voted them into office” 500 times on the chalkboard. And I’m confiscating all the erasers so you can’t cheat by sticking three pieces of chalk in one and write three lines at once.

  8. joe,

    The most impressive thing about Marion Barry is that things got worse under Sharon Pratt Kelley.

    Back in the late 80s/early 90s (its been too long, I forget exactly when) a bunch of KY politicians got nailed in a big bribery scandal. My parents’ state rep survived it perfectly clean. As my Mom said about him, “He was too dumb to figure out how to get in on it.”

    He is still in office, my Mom still tries to get him beat (even though they are both Dems), he still is too dumb to be corrupt.

  9. LineMyPhuckingPockets Corp.?

  10. I suspect that the defendants will be represented by the law firm of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe.

  11. It’s actually quite common, when real estate investors form an LLC, to name it after the majority partner’s firm–has it occurred to any of you that there just might actually be a legitimate Mr. Bilkemor? Oh, but you guys are so smart with your jokes!

    Being the butt of everyone’s jokes isn’t just painful–it can ruin a man’s career. Take it from me–I know. Who’s ever gonna take me seriously again as a painter?

  12. John-David beat me to it.

  13. “Elected officials can steal because we voted them into office”

    Damnit SurgarFree. You just got through explaining that it isn’t stealing and then you call it stealing. Now go to the board and write “It’s not a crime if the government does it” 500 times.

  14. As I noted the other day, whenever I get depressed about city government’s incompetence and corruption here in Motown, I look to our nations’s capitol and think “Hey, it could be a whole lot worse”.

    Thanks DC.

  15. But was there a quid pro quo?

  16. Damnit SugarFree. You just got through explaining that it isn’t stealing and then you call it stealing.

    My ways are mysterious indeed.

    [throws down smoke bomb and fades away with an evil, wheezing cough]

  17. Bilkemor LLC — a subsidiary of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe.

  18. Now that’s how to do chutzpah, y’all.

  19. he still is too dumb to be corrupt

    In lawmakers that’s a feature, not a bug.

  20. You think you got it rough I.P.?

  21. I remember reading a case back in law school about guys who named their sham company OPM Enterprises. In court, they admitted that OPM stood for Other People’s Money.

  22. I am admitting my naivety re: british history, why is Bilkemor funny?

  23. Bilkemor LLC is a real corp. They invented the iFleece.

  24. The Chad

    bilk: To defraud, cheat

    It has naught to do with British history.

  25. I wrote a book called Trails in the Sand. Guess I should have titled it something else….

  26. But was there a quid pro quo?

    In DC? Never! How dare you suggest such a thing!

    In all seriousness, the quid pro quo was probably what those city officials did in order to receive such cushy patronage jobs (which pretty much describes the entire DC government). Essentially, the DC government is a giant buffet table for campaign supporters and other political enablers.

  27. Who’s ever gonna take me seriously again as a painter?

    You could always go into calligraphy.

  28. I’m outraged, outraged I say, that I didn’t think of a similar scam. I want some of that pork pie. Mmmmmm pie.

  29. The most impressive thing about Marion Barry is that things got worse under Sharon Pratt Kelley.

    It is our federal government’s capital and has a predominately Democrat voting base….

    I am not fucking surprised.

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  31. Stop wasting your time with part time job and go to http://www.taxvacancies.com Sign up today and find the best paying summer job and apply for places online. Find your next dream job and get out of your current job that is taking you nowhere in life. Find the best part time job vacancies when you sign up and search today!

  32. Stop wasting your time with part time job and go to http://www.taxvacancies.com Sign up today and find the best paying summer job and apply for places online. Find your next dream job and get out of your current job that is taking you nowhere in life. Find the best part time job vacancies when you sign up and search today!

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