G(roundhog)z And Hustlas

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Over at Reason.tv you can meet G-Hog, the bullet-survivin', cop-hatin', scrubs-donnin' hip-hop hero of this ad paid for by the people of Pennsylvania.

Chances for advancement, you'll never be a zero!
Choose a job in health care, you'll be a health care hero!

Gov. Ed Rendell (who appears in the video as a talking cardboard cutout) fully endorses the opus:

Who's better than a giant rapping groundhog to get the attention of young people?

I don't know. A Geddy Lee sex tape? A George W. Bush endorsement? Almost anything else?

Via Wonkette, which collected some priceless comments:

This is what happens when writers go on strike.

More lessons we can learn from animals here.

NEXT: The New Right, RIP

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  1. The comedy value of this makes it worth it as PA taxpayer.

  2. The tragedy value of this makes it worth it as a Tax Evader

  3. My head hurts.

  4. I don’t know. A Geddy Lee sex tape?

    You know, alot of ladies (and some laddies, I s’pose) dig nerdy sexy. Case in point, Kucinich’s wife!

    Today’s Tom Sawyer he gets high on you, and the space he invades…

  5. Sorry, Tom.

  6. I suppose G-Hog is the cousin that the mascot for the ad for the New Hampshire Liberty Forum from the Free State Project, currently sitting on the left side of the screen next to this article, never talks about. Or vice-versa.

  7. (Yes, I can guess that the logo is a porcupine. I believe they actually are cousins of groundhogs – Order Rodentia, albeit different families. Call them 2nd cousins.)

  8. You know what made me the saddest? When those poor background dancers had to do the Buffalo Stance pose like it was 1988.

  9. One thing in the video’s favor was that I actually watched the whole thing. I could not look away.

    I also noticed that rappin’ G-hogs do get the fly honeys. Although they could have been dressed much more provocately like real rap video fly girls. And they shoulda shook they booties right in da camera, is what I’m saying.

  10. How was there not anybody, like a cameraman, the background dancers, anybody involved under the age of 35, that would just say, “I think this might be a bad idea and not work as planned”.

    WOW

  11. Who’s better than a giant rapping groundhog to get the attention of young people?

    I don’t know. A Geddy Lee sex tape?

    God damn, Weigel, it I’m at work and my office is next to the conference room where a shitload of bigwigs are having a big meeting. I’m amazed nobody came rushing in here to perform first aid after the paroxysms of chortling that must have just come blasting through the wall.

  12. Come, now. You’ve got to “rap” with the young folks to get their attention. They’re all listening to that “hop-hip” stuff nowadays. Perhaps they could get that fellow Vanilla Ice to add some funky beats to their next ad.

  13. No, a Geddy Lee sex tape would be soooo much worse. Admittedly, this is pretty bad. It also makes me think about what would happen if the rapping groundhog and Geddy Lee sex tape videos were somehow combined…

  14. It also makes me think about what would happen if the rapping groundhog and Geddy Lee sex tape videos were somehow combined…

    Youtube mashups are SOOOO early 2007.

  15. Yeah, ‘cuz even the third tier suits could fire everyone in your building, right? Good time to be laughin’ it up on company time…

    I kieed, I kieed…

  16. Your tax dollars, hard at work.

  17. What about the voice of Geddy Lee? How did it get so high? I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy.

  18. Come, now. You’ve got to “rap” with the young folks to get their attention. They’re all listening to that “hop-hip” stuff nowadays. Perhaps they could get that fellow Vanilla Ice to add some funky beats to their next ad.

    And add some hula hoops! Young people love hula hoops!

  19. I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy.

    From some interviews I’ve heard of him, I’d say his voice is maybe a little higher than the average guy’s, but not so much that you’d notice.

  20. That seems to be mildly racist.

  21. Well, at least hes not rapping about the devil weed.

  22. Chorus:

    This is for the Gz, and this is for the Hustlas
    This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz
    This is for the Gz, and this is for the Hustlas
    This is for the hustlas now back to the Gz

    Verse One:

    Freeze, at ease, now let me drop some more of them keys
    It’s 19-9-tre so let me just play
    it’s Snoop Dogg, I’m on the mic, I’m back with Dr. Dre
    But this time I’ma hit yo’ ass with a touch
    To leave motherfuckers in a daze, fucked up
    So sit back relax new jacks get smacked
    It’s Snoop Doggy Dogg I’m at the top of the stack
    I don’t lack for a second, and I’m still checkin
    The dopest motherfucker that ya hearin on the record
    it’s me, ya see, S-N-double-O-P
    D-O-double-G-Y, the D-O-double-G
    I’m fly as a falcon, soarin through the sky
    And I’m high till I dizzie, rizzide
    So check it, I get busy, I make your head dizzy
    I blow up your mouth like I was Dizzy Gillespie
    I’m crazy, you can’t phase me
    I’m the S oh yes, I’m fresh, I don’t fuck with the stress
    I’m all about the chronic, bionic ya see
    Every single day, chillin with the D-O-double-G’s
    P-O-U-N-D that’s my clique, my crew
    Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up
    I thought ya knew, but yet and still
    Ya wanna get real, now it’s time to peel, ya say chill
    and feel, the motherfuckin realism
    Snoop Doggy Dogg is on the mic i’m hittin hard as steel nigga

    Chorus

    Verse Two:

    How many hoes in your motherfuckin group
    Wanna take a ride in my 7-8 Coupe, DeVille
    Chill, as i take you on a trip
    where them niggaz ride, and slide, you know about the East Side
    Niggaz like myself, here to show you where it’s at
    With my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back
    Papers I stack daily, and Death Row is still the label that pays me
    but you know how that goes
    We flow toe for toe, if you ain’t on the Row
    Fuck you and your hoe, really doe, so check it
    It’s Snoop Doggy Dogg on the solo tip
    Still clockin grip, and really don’t give a sheeit
    about nuttin at all, just my Doggs, steppin through the fog
    and i’m still gonna fade em all
    With the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin
    How many hoes in ninety-four will I be bangin?
    Every single one, to get the job done
    As I dip, skip, flip, right back to two one
    Where the sun be shinin and i be ryhmin
    It’s me, Snoop D-O-double-G, and I’m climbin

    Chorus

    Verse Three:

    I come creepin through the fog with my saggin Dukes
    East Side, Long Beach, in a 7-8 Coupe DeBille
    I’m rollin with the G Funk, bumpin in my shit and it don’t quit
    So drop it on the one motherfucker put together that set
    A nigga with a grip of that gangsta shit
    With the Eastside hoes on my motherfuckin dick
    And the Compton niggaz all about to set trip
    Swing it back, bring it back, just like this
    And if you with my shit, then blaze up another spliff
    And keep the motherfuckin blunt in your pocket loc
    Cuz Doggy Dogg is all about the zig zag smoke
    See it’s a West coast thing, where I’m from
    And if you want some, get some, bad enough, take some
    But watch the gun by my side
    Because it represents me and the motherfuckin East Side
    So bow down to the bow wow, cause bow wow
    yippie yo, you can’t see my flow
    My shit is dope, original, now you know
    And can’t no hood fuck with Death Rizzow

  23. I didn’t realize In Living Color was back in production.

  24. What about the voice of Adam G?

  25. Trying to interest young African Americans in health careers, where they are underrepresented.

    Despite that tha fly girlz in dat video appeared to be having a fine time, I doubt it will have its intended effect.

    But I liked it. It was kind of inspired in its stupidity.

  26. kriss kross’ll make you

    daddy mac’ll make you

  27. We always rant about torture and public canings in far-away places, but I think no one would lift a finger to help the creators of this monstrosity if they were subject to extraordinary rendition.

    I would also like to see Suge dangling G-Hog off a balcony.

  28. You know that guy in the suit was really happy no one could see his face…

  29. BTW, Wonkette is now written by one or more extremely hateful to Ron Paul jagoffs.

    http://wonkette.com/politics/ron-paul/

  30. I think this is why satire is a dying art in this country. If you made up shit this stupid, people wouldn’t believe you.

  31. Thank you for spelling out G-Hog. I kept hearing “jihad,” which made me want to call 911.

  32. I think this is why satire is a dying art in this country. If you made up shit this stupid, people wouldn’t believe you.

    A valid point. I’m not sure there’s a dividing line between satire and ordinary discourse/art anymore.

  33. I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy.

    I know him. And he does.

  34. I’m just glad to see that Urban furries are finally starting to get Public Service Announcement gigs. It’s been a long time coming.

  35. More lessons we can learn from animals here.

    Not enough Pennsylvanians are working in health care. That makes him a saaad groundhog.

  36. To the anonymous poster who never knew a female RUSH fan… are you serious?

    I LOVE Rush and LOVED Rush all through my teenage years. Yeah, I’m a female and not some butch either!

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