Immigration

$50 for American Citizenship, $24 for Manhattan

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Manhattan indian

It was only a matter of time before American citizenship could be bought for $50 bucks. And who better to lead the way than American Indians, who have experience in the area of selling bits of America for obscenely low prices?

For prices starting at $50, two nonfederally recognized Indian tribes are offering membership to thousands of illegal immigrants, claiming they can achieve legal status by joining the groups.

Despite the supposed sovereignty of Indian tribes, the U.S. governments says this one's a no-go:

U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement spokesman Tim Counts confirmed that documents from the tribe offer no protection "from the consequences of being in a country illegally. It won't work."

Still, the Indians have the right idea: Citizenship should be cheap and plentiful, like corn at the first Thanksgiving. So what if the new "Indians" make their corn into tortillas?

More on America's favorite fake Indian, Ward Churchill, here.