Is America Ready for a White Male President?

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Shed a tear for John Edwards, a wealthy white man who–against all odds–dares to dream of the presidency. Sighs Elizabeth:

 "We can't make John black, we can't make him a woman. Those things get you a lot of press, worth a certain amount of fundraising dollars."

They can't make him a woman?

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  1. They could make him a loon and run him as a Libertarian.

  2. Edward:

    Nah, all they’d have to do is dye him blue. And think of all those Cyan-American votes lurking in the wings…

  3. They can’t make him a woman?

    Good luck finding a sex change surgeon who’d be willing to operate on Edwards. There isn’t a liability waiver with enough pages and clauses and disclaimers…

  4. Gee, all it takes is some pinking shears, a little (or a lot) of silicone, and some estrogen. Edwardweena – a woman who can represent women better than Hillary.

  5. She forgot to add: …and we can’t possibly make him any more metrosexual, there’s just no room.

  6. There’s a black candidate?

  7. If Hillary can find a long-forgotten Jewish ancestor, Edwards can find a black ancestor. He could also find a female ancestor, too. Or he could make a speech about how his Momma always got home from the ol’ sweatshop in time to whip up a mess o’ grits for her family.

  8. In just seven days…. I can make him a Ma—-a-a-a-an…..

  9. He could change his name to Navin R. Johnson.

  10. They could make him a tranny. Trannies are minorities, too, you know. Plus, the operations would be less invasive that way. And he could probably work out a new way to secure more campaign funds, too.

  11. Wow! It’s pretty obvious who wears the pants in the Edwards household.

    Seriously, she is one vicious little terrier. A doggess, you might say (if permitted by your local laws).

  12. There’s a woman candidate?

  13. Yeah, make Edwards a tranny. For a campaign theme song he could play “Landslide” by the Chicks With Dicks.

  14. they’d need a welding torch for any reassignment surgery cause this dude has balls of steel coated in brass and filled with chutzpah.

  15. Making him a woman or black would simply be copycatism. He’d still have to compete against other candidates from the same formerly oppressed groups.

    The real solution would be for Liz to have a sex change, so he could be the first president in a same-sex marriage. It wouldn’t be that big a deal for her either, since her hooters are gonna have to come off anyway from what I hear.

  16. And I thought I’d seen some tasteless comment threads before…

  17. First wealthy white liberal man to complain about being disadvantaged when compared to minorities, that ought to be worth some press.

  18. Sure they can make him into a woman. The real question is: can they make Hillary into one?

  19. Damn you, John Edwards! Damnn you, your pretty looks, and the terrible, terrible feelings they make me have!

  20. There’s a black candidate?

    I heard Alan Keyes was thinking of running again

    http://www.alankeyes.com/articles/070806iowa.php

  21. If Strom Thurmond can be a blood relation to Al Sharpton, then Edwards ought to be able to run as a black man.

  22. You can’t make Edwards into what she already is.

  23. Anyone (or their spouse) who wants the presidency that badly is poorly suited for it.

  24. It amazes me that supposedly tolerant people find accusations of homosexual desire to be the ultimate insult to level at those who disagree with them.

  25. Not only John Edwards, but anyone who is genetically male, can be surgically modified and transformed into a female. However, outside of Hollywood, no one genetically male can be made into a breeder female, which is what many consider to be a “woman”.

  26. It amazes me that supposedly tolerant people find accusations of homosexual desire to be the ultimate insult to level at those who disagree with them.

    I was thinking the same thing..

  27. Now, crimethink, I wouldn’t describe any of the people who’ve been describing Edwards as effeminate or homosexual as “supposedly tolerant,” although they do seem to think of their accusations as the ultimate insult to level at people who disagree with them.

    For my part, I’m no even slightly amazed that supposedly uber-masculine people find it impossible to stop commenting on Edwards’ looks. There have just been too many studies of people’s reacton to gay porn to avoid the hilarious truth.

  28. crimethink | August 8, 2007, 1:08pm | #

    Wow! It’s pretty obvious who wears the pants in the Edwards household.

    Seriously, she is one vicious little terrier. A doggess, you might say (if permitted by your local laws).

    Nothing like a little misogyny to put an exclaimation point on those undertones.

  29. If they can make make Micheal Jackson white, they must be able to make Edwards black.

  30. joe,

    If it’s misogyny to think it’s pathetic for a man running for president to have his wife attack his opponents for him, I guess I’m a misogynist.

  31. If it’s misogyny to think it’s pathetic for a man running for president to have his wife attack his opponents for him, I guess I’m a misogynist.

    Apparently my wife is a misogynist too.

    I just think it’s hilarious that a rich, white man can piss and moan about the disadvantage of being rich and white.

  32. They can make him black as well. The book Black Like Me springs to mind. (Granted it might be just a bit difficult to get a prescription for Oxsoralen these days.) Maybe he can get both done and beat Hilary and Obama at the minority game.

  33. “Nothing like a little misogyny to put an exclaimation[sic] point on those undertones.”

    Give me a break.

    This bitch attacks people all the time if they dare to criticize her husband, quite possibly the phoniest candidate in recorded history. What is even worse is how they use her cancer as some sort of shield, as if it defends her from any valid response to her attacks(and given what she has said, attack is much more applicable a word than criticism).
    It was her decision to enter the fray; she could have kept silent, but she chose not to do so. She would be best to remember the classic “if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen” quotation. She cleary can’t take it, so it would be wise for her to shut the hell up.

  34. “For my part, I’m no even slightly amazed that supposedly uber-masculine people find it impossible to stop commenting on Edwards’ looks”

    That is what happens when you pay $400 for a haircut.

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